Swamp Witch!reader - Tumblr Posts

JJ and swamp witch!reader bc why not??? oh, and she's also a necromancer

these two met in weird circumstances, like weird, weird circumstances

JJ was fishin' on the HMS Pogue. Nothin' much, just a man, his pole, fishing in some creepy-ass swamp he's never been in before - when all of a sudden, some gators came along, and JJ was about to throw all his bait into the water and make a swim for it or some shit

when all of a sudden, he hears this girl screamin'

"KIKI! MILO! Get yer butts over here! Y'all just ate!"

and like fucking magic, the gators leave him alone and JJ turns around and sees this barefoot vision in a crochet halter top with a green and brown patchwork flowy skirt

this boy's jaw drops and he's pretty sure he's got half a chub by just lookin' at her cleavage from how this girl's tits are squished in that top and if he squints just hard enough, he can see her nipples

JJ sees her mouth movin' but to be honest, he's not payin' too much attention to 'til his boat rocks and he looks down to see these weirdass blobby, clear, glowy goop thingies with bones crawlin' up the sides of the Pogue

"If you can stop starin' at my tits for a GODDAMN minute - I was askin' if you need help!"

JJ just owlishly blinks for a few minutes in silence, before giving out an unintelligent mumble, "huh?"

the swampy bohemian beauty slaps a hand over her face and angrily grumbles out a couple of curses before extending her arm out and JJ felt his body stiffen as the water pushed him and the boat toward shore

the young Maybank watches, body paralyzed, as he's brought over to what he assumes is the woman of his dreams - who is looking more pissed and sexy by the second, in his humble opinion

boat parked on the shore, JJ watches as the girl steps onto the vessel with the gloppy thingamabobs still clinging onto the walls

"Name and Purpose."

her southern drawl draws tingles down his spine, but JJ just blinks and she scowls before grabbing his shirt and pulling him down to her face level, "I said - state your name and purpose, Normie."

"JJ Maybank," he croaks out. "Fishin', that's 'bout it."

"You're no poacher?"

"No, ma'am."

she stares at him with unforgiving eyes before determining he is telling the truth. She scratches the back of her head, muttering, "Well, can't exactly get rid of you, I'll just have the shades transport you back."

"The what?"

"Well, it's not like I can just kill you, can I?"

with a snap of her fingers, JJ feels his vision go blank and he can feel the wind over his face

"...JJ...JJ!"

JJ wakes up and sees John B and Pope slappin' his face, crowding over him like he's the latest attraction in a circus

"Fuckin' - M'up, m'up," he lets out a huge yawn. "Wassup?"

"Dude," JB's eyes are huge, "you and the Pogue were missing for like...hours, where the hell d'you go?"

JJ was drawin' up blanks for a couple of minutes, until he finally remembered his swamp beauty with the flowy patchwork skirt who can talk to gators

"Dude, are you hearin' me?" John B snaps his fingers in front of his face. "Where the hell you've been?"

JJ just shakes his head. "Nowhere, man."

he'd imagine his swamp girlie wouldn't like it too much if he told his friends about her too early

Oh, and swamp witch!reader's a necromancer, too. Let me know your thoughts! Inbox is open!

Tagging: @dipperscavern, @ethereal-athalia, @instructionsnotincluded, @darlingchronicles, @excbambi