Tc Moving On - Tumblr Posts

Ugh it’s coming up and I’m not gonna. Things are fine as is and I’d rather put this off.

I want to reach out to him eventually but I honestly want to wait a long long time so it actually means something. Like years.

I guess I’m still bitter and I do care about him and hope he thinks of me sometimes but mostly we are living separate lives and I don’t want to be a nuisance. I’m not going to send anything but honestly I can see myself typing the date in my class assignments, notes and being constantly reminded of what day it is already

I hate that there’s so many meaningless days I find important because of him.

Since I DID say I would go in peace (he didn’t ask me to, but still),

I’m not going to email him or interact for a while, but I’m going to reprise somewhere. Maybe his birthday, something small

if you already are in a relationship, isn't it wrong that you're still thinking about a previous crush?

Yes, actually. It really isn’t good, and I feel guilty for it a lot. It’s that my history with g is more than an old crush in my book. In a way I don’t really feel romantically towards him anymore; it’s more that I feel this need to reminisce and understand what it was all about.

We met when I was so young and it’s not like I pulled my crush out of thin air; there are things he’s done and said that play over my head involuntarily time and again. My blog and unsent letters are my way of working through the meaning of all of it. But it really isn’t right to think of him knowing I’m with r.

-i miss who i use to be

dear john- taylor swift/ scott street- phoebe bridgers/ my dark vanessa- kate elizabeth russell/ first love/late spring- mitski/ would’ve, could’ve, should’ve-taylor swift/ blythe baird/ motion sickness- phoebe bridgers/ lolita (1998)