The Next Update Will Tear My Heart Apart - Tumblr Posts

pls why am i suddenly thinking haru and oc are cute ... jungkook you better step up before it's too late.. THE TENSION I AM EATING IT UP I LOVE IT SM 😩 not oc bringing haru to the place jungkook and her were going to go to ☹️😭😭 jungkook waiting at the bus stop and being angry DAMN I LOVE IT HERE the anticipation for the next chapter is unreal gah can't wait !!!

( 12. ) A LOVER’S KISS.

a friends with benefits relationship never ends on a good note. unless, both parties are not dumb fucks who find themselves falling for each other along the way of their agreement, of course.

and in yours and jeongguk’s case, you should have known better than to think the two of you would be an exception to the so-called curse of being friends with benefits with someone you already hold dear to you, since not even five months since it was agreed upon—the line between being only friends and being a little like lovers only continue to get hazier and hazier.

━ jeongguk x reader ━ 3.3k words. ━ 18+ ━ smut | angst | fluff | friends with benefits au | idiots to lovers au | college au | yearning? pining? | ft. swimmer!jeongguk, editor-in-chief!reader (small appearances from swimmer!jimin & associate editor!taehyung) ━ warning/s: swearing | suggestive themes

note. no smut for this part, but i’m keeping the rating 18+ and have the smut label above since this drabble series overall isn’t suitable for minors !!

[ chapter index. ]

EPISODE 12. the one with the tension !

you placed the books you borrowed from the library on the desk by the return section, getting the appropriate slips for it and proceeding on writing the needed information for each book you borrowed. you wrote them as leisurely as you could—as unintentionally dispirited as you could too since your initial plan this afternoon to go with jeongguk to this new noodle place near the campus was cancelled due to him having an extended training after his last class.

he only had 8 days left to grind before he competes for his next major tournament after all, so it wasn’t really a surprise for you when he messaged you this morning saying he couldn’t go; nonetheless, to claim that you were disappointed would be an understatement given this was supposed to be the longest time you’d spend time together after being so busy with your own endeavors if he was going.

which he fucking wasn’t.

you clicked your tongue as you continued to write.

come to think of it, you were actually quite suspicious when it came to jeongguk recently. you had this hunch that he was avoiding you, or at least kept on being moody when he was with you. you were certain now that it may have had something to do with what happened the other night at his apartment when you had that conversation regarding haru, but you just didn’t understand why he’d go as far as acting this childish whenever you were together. was he seriously bitter that you would have said yes if ever haru asks you out? did he really want you to go assure him that you were only answering his question hypothetically and not according to what you’d most likely do in real life?

and if that was the case… why the fuck would you do that? why did you have to explain something like that to jeongguk when just a month ago he was going around and telling you that you weren’t his girlfriend? plus, first and foremost, wasn’t he the one who tried dating someone else alongside that fact too? going around with soomi and going on those stupid dates that the girl posted nonstop about on all her social media platforms, practically rubbing it to your face that they were somehow ‘happily’ dating.

was he eating his words and making it seem like you were the one who was cheating on him now?

“chief!” a voice called from your left and you escaped from your bitter thoughts, glancing towards it and seeing the other man that has been occupying your thoughts as well approach you.

you paused and smiled. “hey, haru.” you peered around you cautiously. “you do know that we’re in a library, right?”

he arrived where you were, adjusting the bag that was slung on his shoulder. “obviously.”

“then why did you just shout?”

he fought back a laugh, more watchful than a few seconds ago. “sorry. was a little afraid you weren’t going to hear me if i spoke too quietly.”

“when have you ever spoken so quietly? you’re like a human boombox speaker.” you went back to writing.

“boombox? wow, haven’t heard anyone use that word for a long time. you do know that we’re now living in the 21st century, right?”

you playfully glared at him, haru grinning and leaning on the counter beside you. “for your information, boomboxes aren’t dead.”

“nobody uses that term anymore. we call them bluetooth speakers now, granny.” he chuckled.

“granny? hey, you’re a few months older than i am.”

“so? i’m not the one who just used the word boombox.”

you snorted, carrying on with what you were doing with a grin, similar to what he was showcasing. two more slips and you were done with your task; once you were, you were definitely still going to go to that new restaurant even without jeongguk. your classes went nonstop for this day, only having an hour break between the three subjects you had that occupied three hours each, so you were really looking forward to eating something delicious that would hopefully drive some stress away caused by the information overload you suffered with prior.

glancing at haru again, you saw him peer at what you were scribbling, and as if on cue, an idea popped in your head the same time you felt your stomach grumble in hunger, haru’s eyes flashing to where your tummy was before a small smirk makes its way on your face, your gazes locking then.

“do you have any errands after this?” you asked, finally finishing and moving on to putting the slips on the respective books.

he shook his head. “none. why?”

“i’m planning on going to this newly opened noodle place near the campus. want to join me?”

he raised his eyebrows. “sure. i was about to go home and buy some take-out or whatever anyway.”

“great. let me just put this in real quick—”

haru stacked the books for you, smiling and saying that he’ll do it and that you could just wait for him outside since it was getting crowded.

you stared at him, a bit surprised, though nodded nonetheless and thanked him, walking slowly to the exit of the library with a confused expression. there was another idea that just entered your train of thought because of his gesture, however you didn’t allow yourself to ponder over it considering that it was ridiculous and that you didn’t want to feel awkward with him for the following hours; it was just a dumb theory of yours that you were sure was just a made up explanation created by your mind to explain jeongguk’s previous behaviors that you were so frustrated by.

it just didn’t seem plausible for you—of haru liking you. you were usually aware and sensitive when it came to things like that. however, you might be quite rusty and was giving yourself more credit than you should since on the other hand, you were hopeless when it came to detecting any real feelings with jeongguk, a lot of factors always preventing you from coming up with a conclusion that you wanted to believe was true.

“let’s go?” haru appeared next to you quickly at the front doors of the library.

you nodded and smiled.

for the rest of the afternoon, you and haru talked about everything that could possibly be talked about: the campus paper, the dreaded professors, the irritating schoolmates, and even the non trivial things that you both just wanted to mention to the other, never running out of things to say as you moved on from one topic to another very smoothly.

like what you’ve always been amused at in the occasions you talk to haru—perhaps the two of you truly shared the same brain cells because of how you just click despite not trying too hard in the first place. he never failed to prove to you that he was just one of those people you could discuss anything with and not feel tired nor judged; you kinda felt guilty that you haven’t been as close to him as you were right before the messy set-up with jeongguk started. you wished that you weren’t so hung up with jeongguk because perhaps your feelings wouldn’t be so complicated for him as it was at this point of time; you’d just be having fun with this and being reckless and shit as much as you preferred.

“oh, yeah, before i forget to mention—” haru stopped eating his noodles for a quick second, the two of you in the mentioned noodle restaurant, pigging out the moment the waiter served your food approximately seven minutes ago— “did you receive the email i sent?”

“the book fair tickets?”

“yep.”

“yeah. i already printed it out too. why?”

“nothing, just making sure. i asked taehyung about it earlier and he said he didn’t check his emails yet.”

“very typical of our taehyungie,” you joked with a chuckle. “are we going to meet up at a bus stop on saturday or should the three of us just meet at the venue?”

ever since freshman year, you along with taehyung and haru went to this book fair just about an hour or so away from the university. it became a tradition from the day haru asked you and taehyung about it, if you two were willing to go with—he only invited you and taehyung as you were in the same organization—that sometimes even when you weren’t looking for any specific books (academic related or plainly for entertainment purposes), you still wanted to go in anticipation of what you’ll find regardless once you were there.

haru lowered his spoon. “let’s meet at the bus stop instead. or like a nearby convenience store. i’m 99% positive that taehyung is going to be late if we decide to meet at the convention center itself.”

“true. we should probably set the time three hours before so that we’ll still arrive there earlier too.”

“yeah. remember last year when we got there at like… fucking four hours after our intended plan?”

“how could i forget? i think we just got the best meal from taehyung that evening too since he was feeling so sorry.”

“huh. maybe it won’t be much of a big deal then if taehyung comes to our meeting place late.”

you snickered, nodding. “should we bully him into treating us to some barbeque restaurant?”

“deal. i’ll be in charge of the arguments and you can just back me up.”

the both of you laughed, continuing on eating your ordered noodles.

while carrying on with that, you couldn’t help but steal a couple of glances towards haru who was sitting across you, focused on what he was eating and obviously happy with it, uttering a lot of amazed compliments in each bite he took. he wasn’t wearing his glasses today and his hair was brushed down against his forehead, some strands falling on his eyes at the instances he would raise his head and look at you, listening to whatever topic you were blabbering about.

“haru,” you said his name all of the sudden and he raised his gaze from his bowl to your face.

“hm?”

“who’s the girl?”

at the abrupt and random question, he appeared surprised, eyes widening and blinking rapidly. “girl? what… what girl?”

“the girl you like.” you smirked. “taehyung told me that you had a crush on someone. i’m quite bitter you didn’t think of telling me that first before you told the guys. everybody knows i’m a better secret keeper than them.”

haru slowly leaned back on his chair. “wow. not even a week since i told them—and he’s already snitching on me.”

“i asked jeongguk too.”

“did he snitch on me too?”

“no, he was better than tae.” you snorted, keeping your attention on him while he drank from his glass of water, a part of you recalling what happened at jeongguk’s apartment but you pushed the thought away. “so? who is it? if you don’t tell me now, me and goeun will harass you until you do,” you teased.

“always resorting to threats, i see.”

“oh, come on!” you chuckled as soon as he did. “it’s not fair. i need some equal treatment here.”

he huffed a breath, getting his chopsticks again and going back to his meal. “it’s not important. it’s just a tiny crush—i just told those two because i was drunk.”

“that doesn’t justify the unfair treatment.”

“what unfair treatment?”

“about me not knowing. we’re all best buddies here. how come me and goeun don’t know?”

“i’ll never tell goeun because she has a big mouth. and she’d never fucking let me live.”

“okay—what about me? what’s your excuse?”

“you…” he stared at you and you raised your eyebrows expectantly; haru pursing his lips, his features contorting in what seemed like a conflicted manner, giving you the impression that he was hesitant and in deep thought on whether he will or will not tell you who the girl was, “well, you… i don’t know—you’re… you’re too close. with the girl, i mean. i wouldn’t, wouldn’t want you to know because of that.”

“i’m close with the girl?”

he shrugged, flashing his eyes down. “kind of.”

“fuck you. now you just made me more curious than i already was.”

he laughed out loud and proceeded to roll his eyes, his laughter contagious that caused you to do the same. “just forget about it. i don’t think i’m going to plan on making a move on her anyways.”

“and why not? you might have a chance with her.” you picked a piece of dumpling on the table.

“it’s not that. i’m pretty confident that she’ll like me if i seriously tried—” it was your turn to roll your eyes and haru to laugh again— “it’s just that… i’m not… i’m not sure i’d want to cross the line and be something more to her, you know? it’s like… you know how some people are just better off as friends?”

you nodded.

“that’s what i feel about her. i think we’re just better off as friends than anything else.”

“yeah, but i don’t think you can say that unless you already tried dating her, ru.”

his expression softened and you felt like he was looking at you more intently now, your eyes shifting elsewhere at the sudden sensation of wanting to hide. “you think?” he inclined his body closer to yours thoughtlessly.

“sure,” you nonchalantly replied, cool and composed unlike your heart (what the actual fuck?). “we always say stuff like that just because we haven’t tried doing the other. sometimes it’s always easy to assume on the things we have no idea about.”

“can’t say you’re wrong about that,” he said. “well, if you honestly think so, what if i tell you—”

buzz! buzz!

both of your eyes flickered to your phone laid on the table, haru shutting up and you placing your chopsticks down for a moment, opening your phone and reading the text message that appeared on your lock screen.

From [guk]: just finished training did you still go?

you frowned, your petty feelings resurfacing at the reminder that it was supposed to be jeongguk that you were here with.

To [guk]: yep went with haru instead

the message was read as soon as you sent it, but jeongguk didn’t respond as quickly as he should have, thus causing you to put your phone back on the table and turn to haru in interest, your pettiness getting more petty deep down though you brushed it off.

“sorry. what were you saying?”

haru was eating what was left of his noodles, his mouth curved upwards and his head shaking back and forth in clear amusement. “nothing. i think i just dodged a bullet there.”

“what?” you snorted.

“i’ll tell you about it next time,” he explained with a smirk. “let’s just finish quick. i still have something to do when i head home.”

“you’re so unfair.” you squinted your eyes at him. “i’m really going to harass you from now on with goeun.”

his smirk transformed into a grin, nodding to your bowl. “do as you like, chief. for now, just go on and eat.”

you snickered.

jeongguk still didn’t bother replying even after you and haru were done. you constantly checked your phone in case he did, but every time it lit up to show your lock screen, no new notification from him would be there, much to your disappointment and your irritation. you secretly thought that he shouldn’t have bothered messaging you if he wasn’t planning on replying—because here you were again, stuck on what was going on with that frustrating head of his to act this way.

and so rather than being some kind of freak who locked and unlocked her phone every minute or two, you decided to keep your phone in your bag out of annoyance at being left on read, choosing to engage yourself with another talk with haru as you both walked to the bus stop where you’ll eventually part ways; your conversation with him about the girl he liked wasn’t brought up again despite your subtle attempts to indeed talk about it once more, your curiosity not exactly satiated just yet considering your discussion earlier still didn’t give you enough details to share with goeun (yes, you might be a snitch yourself too—only amongst your closest friends, though).

crossing the street to go to the said bus stop, haru was the first one to halt upon reaching the other sidewalk, the story you were telling him being put to an end too as you followed where he was looking at, your eyes then shockingly falling on jeongguk who was already waiting by the bus stop himself, staring at you and haru with his jaw clenched, practically glowering before the hand he had raised to keep his phone against his ear dropped and he was taking steps towards the two of you.

“jeongguk,” haru greeted him with a confused and cheerful tone, chuckling. “you’re here too?”

jeongguk didn’t even glance at him, just focusing on you and still glowering at you. “you weren’t answering my calls,” he said with a grit of his teeth.

your face heated up and you automatically reached for your phone inside your tote bag, swiftly opening your phone to see a bunch of missed calls from jeongguk. “oh,” you blinked, “sorry. i didn’t realize my phone was on silent.”

“why is your phone on silent?” jeongguk asked. “haven’t i told you to never do that when you’re commuting?”

“jeongguk,” you meaningfully said his name, your gaze moving from his face to haru who was studying jeongguk, the same puzzled expression on his features.

“what?” jeongguk challenged.

you wanted to tell him to stop talking, to stop implying something that shouldn’t be realized by other people—whatever that may be—especially with haru here. however, he didn’t seem like he was going to back down or play safe, a rise of panic bubbling inside your system at that understanding since you couldn’t even do anything to address the matter properly, afraid that you’ll make the situation worse or more obvious than it already was.

“uh, guys,” haru piped in again, clearing his throat, “we all take the same route, don’t we?” he was pertaining to the bus, and jeongguk finally looked at him at the mention of it. “we better line up if we want to get good seats. a lot are starting to wait.” he gestured at the designated shed.

“you go first, ru,” jeongguk said, calmer than earlier.

haru raised his eyebrows. “what for?”

“i have to say something to ____.”

“what is it about that i need to be away?” haru joked, glancing at you, expecting an explanation, no matter how little it may possibly be. “do you guys have some sort of big secret that no one knows about?” he continued to banter.

“no,” you immediately answered, anxious. “no, we don’t.”

jeongguk scoffed and his gaze at you became hard once more. “____—”

“i’ll go first,” you added then, “to the waiting line.” you walked forward without looking back, hurrying and exhaling harshly, biting your lip because of the dozens of emotions coursing through you right now..

you didn’t see the way haru and jeongguk stared at each other; haru gazing at jeongguk in confusion still, suspicious too and a hint of disbelief seen as well, while jeongguk wasn’t masking his annoyance in the manner he boldly leered at haru in return. you only had the opportunity to see jeongguk being the one who immediately followed after you when you spun your head back to make sure they were tagging along, haru standing there for a second on the same spot before he followed as well, a smirk plastered on his lips that you didn’t particularly deem as friendly.

at the scene that just played in front of you, your dumb theory of haru possibly liking you and you obviously being the mystery girl suddenly didn’t sound so dumb anymore.

note. damn this whole part feels like a freaking cliché scene from a kdrama tbh HSJDHJDHJS BUT I LOVE IT PER USUAL AND I HOPE YOU DO TOO !!!!!

THANK YOU FOR READING & FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED ! ♡(ˆ‿ˆԅ)

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