This Got Catapulted Right To The Top Honey - Tumblr Posts
🌌 — original character emoji asks, sent in by @wightwulf.
what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?
back in 2018, I had gone through a ( relatively minor ) car accident and it had left me very shaken up to the point where I wouldn’t drive unless I was going to work or coming home from work, so I was home a lot in my free time. in the past, whenever I’ve been in a deep, depressive funk, my go-to comfort muse to pour my feelings into and explore had always been sidney prescott from scream. unfortunately, at this time, there was someone active in that fandom that I was very uncomfortable with and I didn’t feel comfortable being on that blog or writing that muse. I decided to try my hand at creating a horror original character, and had made jordan on a whim. she had a different name starting out and a completely different backstory; in 2019 I revisited her and remade her blog entirely, overhauling her backstory in the process.
around that time, I had reached a point in my own journey of accepting some terrible things that had happened to me in college to where I felt comfortable exploring unsavory / taboo topics in an original character, and I knew that the right story to tell with jordan would be one that was both intimately familiar to me and one that is pretty much only seen in media if it’s being used for shock value. I wanted to tell the story of a trauma survivor who doesn’t let the terrible thing that happened to her define her life, who persists to forge her own path and who still wants good things out of life, and who, when pulled back into the thick of it by her abuser, stands her ground and fights back. while my experience with my trauma is very different from the story I wrote for jordan, the general elements are still the same, such as struggling to accept what happened and to accept that it’s not your fault, and persisting despite society being staunchly against you at every turn. the very first thing I decided about her was that she was going to be someone who has survived terrible things and has been determined to move forward and find something good, because I think there’s a lot of power in that, and that was something that I needed to see when I was going through my own journey of healing.
obviously, bringing something that heavy into the rpc has to be handled with care, and I owe many thank-yous to all my friends back in the early stages of creating jordan who read over my rules and bio pages and helped me tweak things or fine-tune things until I felt that I had put up enough safeguards so that anyone still on their journey of recovery would not be triggered. what goes hand-in-hand with this is the fact that assault is never explicitly written out on my blog and never will be, any and all references and writing about what happened is centered on jordan’s responses to it, her feelings around it, and how it has impacted her. likewise, elliot has never been featured much on this blog aside from his status as an abuser, and while I have created an npc graphic for him, his face is scratched out. I will never fancast a face claim for him, nor will I ever try to explain why he did what he did, because it doesn’t matter. there’s no logic or reasoning behind harming someone, and there’s no space for abusers here, regardless of the fact that this is all fictional, because at the core of it all, it’s based around very real things that happen and that people experience.
my goal has always been to handle these topics responsibly and with care; it’s an ongoing process but one that is integral to me above everything, and I hope that I have done a decent job and continue to do so in the future.