THIS IS MAKING ME LOSE MY SHIT - Tumblr Posts

TNG but they're idiots

Data: My girlfriend has informed me that she requires "time and space." What other dimensions is it possible to gift to her?

Picard: They say that children are the future, and yet I keep seeing the damn bastards in the present! How is this possible?

O'Brien: How come I can only feel the ship moving when I'm very, very drunk?

Yar: How is gravity so strong if it doesn't even lift?

Picard: Why did ancient people always build ruins?

Worf: When a new planet joins the Federation, how do they move the planet?

LaForge: The ship's computer's download speed is faster than its upload speed. Do you think it's due to the artificial gravity?

Riker: Does the square in Tetris even rotate?

Q: Why do humans use Buzz Lightyear to measure vast distances? He's so small!

Troi: What are the environmental consequences of taking so many Pokemon out of the wild?

LaForge: Counselor, if "gay" means "happy," why am I so stressed all the time?

Worf: If video games make children violent, why do they keep losing fist fights against me?

Data: Is Geordi's VISOR what one refers to when one says "adult supervision" since he is an adult?

Dr. Crusher: Women are much more likely to die in childbirth than men. Why has medicine never addressed this issue?

Riker: Sir, if the planet has no atmosphere, could we not simply create one by dimming the lights and playing smooth jazz?

Wesley: Sir, you say wormholes are rare, but there are so many in the ground on Earth!

Troi: Why do meteors always land in craters?

Riker: I found a girl I like on tinder. How do I download her?

LaForge: This light says it lasts for seven years. Does it mean Earth years or lightyears?

Data: Why is it so crucial that the planet has ice? We have freezers on the Enterprise.

Picard: If I take a shit but don't make a log entry about it, did I even take a shit?