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The Rest, is Awkward Silence

"Now cracks a noble heart," Horatio said, his arms holding Hamlet as Denmark's prince slowly slipped away. "Good night, sweet prince. And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

 He slowly let his dear friend go, then turned to see as two men entered the chamber.

 "...what am I seeing?" asked Fortinbras, the crown prince of Norway. "What was it you were saying?"

 "I was offering a lament for my friend, Hamlet," Horatio explained.

 "Right," the other man said – the English ambassador, if Horatio recalled right. "And not for the… hold on… three other corpses in the room?"

 "It has been…" Horatio began, then paused. "...a day."

 "Then explain, please," Fortinbras asked. "Because I hesitate to hear what could have caused this to happen."

 "Well," Horatio said. "To give you the very brief summary… Hamlet is dead because he was stabbed by Laertes with a poisoned sword."

 "Who's Laertes?" the ambassador asked.

 Horatio pointed. "That's him over there. He was also stabbed, by Hamlet, with the same poisoned sword."

 "Right," Fortinbras said. "And… how exactly did that happen?"

 "Well, the poisoned sword was given to him by Claudius, I think," Horatio explained. "Who's also dead. Over there."

 "Oh, that's a shame," the ambassador muttered. "I was coming here to tell him that his instructions were fulfilled – Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead."

 Fortinbras blinked, glancing at the ambassador. "Seriously?"

 "King Claudius asked us to, and I was hoping that England would be rewarded for it," the ambassador mumbled. "They delivered a letter that said, please kill whoever is carrying this letter."

 "That's a letter Hamlet was supposed to deliver to you," Horatio informed him. "But Hamlet worked out what was going on, and he swapped the letters around."

 Fortinbras was starting to look a bit overwhelmed.

 "So… I've still got some questions," he admitted. "Firstly, what about that lady over there?"

 "That's Queen Gertrude!" the ambassador gasped. "Did she get stabbed by a poisoned sword, too?"

 "No, this time it was wine," Horatio answered. "Claudius offered it to Hamlet, who refused, and then the Queen drank it… and, that was poisoned too. That's half of how Hamlet killed Claudius, and I offered to drink the wine as well to follow my friend. But he told me that someone had to be around to explain what had happened."

 Fortinbras and the ambassador exchanged glances.

 "...I'm not sure you're doing a very good job, but you are doing it," the prince conceded. "So why did all these people want one another dead?"

 "I don't think anyone wanted the Queen dead," Horatio said, counting on his fingers. "She drank the wine by mistake, I think. Claudius wanted Hamlet dead because Hamlet had worked out that Claudius assassinated King Hamlet with poison in the ear."

 "Oh, this isn't getting better, is it?" Fortinbras muttered. "That explains why Prince Hamlet wanted Claudius dead, I suppose… but it was Laertes who killed Hamlet, wasn't it? And how on earth did they both get stabbed with the same sword?"

 "They were in a duel," Horatio explained. "Laertes knew the sword was poisoned… yes, he must have done, from what he said before he died."

 The ambassador groaned.

 "I'm going to regret asking this," he said. "But why were they in a duel?"

 "Laertes blamed Hamlet for the deaths of his sister and father," Horatio admitted, somewhat reluctantly.

 "Horatio," Fortinbras said, almost gently. "I know you're in mourning for your friend, but… I'm standing in a room with two people Hamlet killed, and he sent two more of them to be executed by the English king. At this point I'm expecting Laertes to be right."

 Horatio looked uncomfortable.

 "He didn't kill Ophelia?" he tried. "Though he did insult her, tell her she was a whore, and run off after killing Polonius. So she committed suicide."

 Seeing the expressions on the other two men, he waved his hands. "He didn't mean it! He was pretending to be insane."

 "Pretending?" the ambassador repeated.

 "All right, what about Polonius?" Fortinbras asked. "I dread to think… from context, that must be the father of Laertes."

 Horatio looked embarrassed.

 "Hamlet stabbed him through the arras," he said.

 The ambassador winced.

 "Sounds painful," he said.

 "An arras is a tapestry hanging," Fortinbras pointed out. "But… all right, why?"

 "Polonius was spying on him," Horatio explained. "Hamlet may have thought that Polonius was Claudius."

 Fortinbras sighed, rubbing his temples.

 "As God is my witness, I'm not sure I want to win the election for this place," he said. "But I think I've got the best legal claim."

 He paused.

 "So… how exactly did you find out that Claudius killed King Hamlet?" he asked. "I've not heard any such thing, but you sound very sure."

 "...Hamlet saw a ghost," Horatio said. "And I'll admit, that sounds bad. But he did a test to prove it! He wrote a play."

 Fortinbras groaned.

 "Didn't you say you were offering a lament for your friend?" he said.

 "It was very meaningful," Horatio defended himself. "I said, may hosts of angels sing you to your sleep."

 Fortinbras and the ambassador blinked.

 "Isn't he directly responsible for the deaths of about six people?" the ambassador asked, somewhat hesitantly. "I'm not sure if you have a different theology here in Denmark, but I wouldn't exactly expect angels to be involved…"

That stupid alien meme but it's PINTSHIPPING.

Yea I haven't abandoned y'all don't worry xoxo

'ALIEN' SATO-SUGU

This cute meme came up a lot in the feed and I have the urge to draw this. Anyone who knows the original creator of these aliens, do let me know so I can properly credit them. But, how about making the dialogue so not relatable? One-Piece version here. Like my art? Considering supporting me with a Ko-Fi. ^^ or Want one for yourself, read my commissions here.

Please DO NOT COPY, STEAL OR MAKE YOUR OWN. Please DO NOT REPOST.

I love how beedle is also just there. The secret fourth piece of the triforce. Capitalism 😔

they’d find each other in any universe

Beautiful, just beautiful ❤️

The hatching of Malleus, artist rendition

Ready for the holidays?

mikuras for life

ok wellll originally i wanted to release all 5 at the same time but im getting distracted by everything so might as well post the 2 i HAVE finished. i do want to finish the rest of the cast but for now you get aisku and mikuras

SHE IS GOING TO EAT YOU

had to share this note i woke up and wrote in the dead of night

Hi!!!! I think you and your arts super cool!!!!

. . . Okie, back to the vents I go hehehehe :]

GET BACK HERE, HOW DID YOU FIT IN MY VENT?! ANSWER ME!