This Is Stupid But I Thought It Was Funny - Tumblr Posts

A New Nemesis

Villain fled on light feet, easily outmaneuvering the Hero that trailed closely behind them. Just a few more feet and they would be out the door and into the getaway car idling on the street.

Knowing they would need every second they could get in order to outrun Hero, Villain scanned the exit with ingenious eyes.

In a move indicative of a very large cerebrum, Villain slammed their palm into the silver disk attached to the wall. They headed straight for the doors, expecting them to part open just in time for their graceful escape. Instead, Villain barely had enough time to skid to a halt and avoid slamming into the glass. The door was indeed swinging open, just at the pace of an elderly snail taking an afternoon stroll.

Inch by inch the space between the door and the frame grew, and Villain waited for the precise moment before lunging forward.

Unfortunately, the delay was all Hero needed to catch up to the criminal. This time, a splat into the glass was unavoidable as Hero shoved their impatient form against the side of the door that was still closed. Cuffs clicked, and the villain let out an indignant grunt.

“You got lucky, Hero. If it wasn’t for these stupid doors-“

“What are you, a Scooby-Doo villain? ‘If it wasn’t for these meddling automatic openers’,” Hero mocked.

Villain scowled and their heavy breaths fogged up the pane they were pressed against. They had indeed been foiled by door of all things.

Hero continued, “Honestly, this is a little embarrassing for you, Villain.”

“Hey, you needed the help of a door to catch me. What’s so ‘embarrassing’ now?”

Mockingly, the door held its self open beside them, waiting for a phantom chase to pass through.

Villain wished they had tried to slam it in Hero’s face instead.

A New Nemesis

Villain fled on light feet, easily outmaneuvering the Hero that trailed closely behind them. Just a few more feet and they would be out the door and into the getaway car idling on the street.

Knowing they would need every second they could get in order to outrun Hero, Villain scanned the exit with ingenious eyes.

In a move indicative of a very large cerebrum, Villain slammed their palm into the silver disk attached to the wall. They headed straight for the doors, expecting them to part open just in time for their graceful escape. Instead, Villain barely had enough time to skid to a halt and avoid slamming into the glass. The door was indeed swinging open, just at the pace of an elderly snail taking an afternoon stroll.

Inch by inch the space between the door and the frame grew, and Villain waited for the precise moment before lunging forward.

Unfortunately, the delay was all Hero needed to catch up to the criminal. This time, a splat into the glass was unavoidable as Hero shoved their impatient form against the side of the door that was still closed. Cuffs clicked, and the villain let out an indignant grunt.

“You got lucky, Hero. If it wasn’t for these stupid doors-“

“What are you, a Scooby-Doo villain? ‘If it wasn’t for these meddling automatic openers’,” Hero mocked.

Villain scowled and their heavy breaths fogged up the pane they were pressed against. They had indeed been foiled by door of all things.

Hero continued, “Honestly, this is a little embarrassing for you, Villain.”

“Hey, you needed the help of a door to catch me. What’s so ‘embarrassing’ now?”

Mockingly, the door held its self open beside them, waiting for a phantom chase to pass through.

Villain wished they had tried to slam it in Hero’s face instead.