This Is The Angst U Need - Tumblr Posts

thinking about heartbreak with my favorite boys: ft. haitani ran, sanzu haruchiyo, haitani rindou

ran, who never thought he would experience heartbreak because he refused to let anyone get through the steep walls he had thrown up around his heart. until you, at least, though he hadn’t realized it until he found himself grinning like a fool at his phone every time you messaged, until he found himself being disappointed every time he got a notification that wasn’t a text from you. and it terrified him. it terrified him so much that he started pushing you away, missing dates to go out clubbing with rindou and haruchiyo, staying late at work instead of meeting you at your apartment, replying to your texts hours later, if at all. he couldn’t come to terms with the fact that you had managed to slip through all of his defenses and it had him dizzy and reeling as he tried to figure out what to do. but it took too long, and when he distanced himself from you without explanation, you didn’t wait. by the time he managed to accept it, you had long moved on, leaving him behind. and he was going to reach out again, to apologize at the very least—he really, really was—but when he saw you out at a cafe smiling and laughing with another man, for once in his life, haitani ran’s confidence shattered and he found himself walking back the way he had came, jaw clenched tight and fingers trembling from where they were stuffed in his pockets. and it was crazy, really, how even months after he lost you, he found himself wandering to all of the places he used to take you in his free time, all of the places that you loved—the very same places that he avoided so actively when he still had you.

haruchiyo, who never knew what it was like to love someone so completely, and be loved so completely, before he met you. who knew he wasn’t good for you, but was too selfish to let go. haruchiyo, who loved you maybe a bit too much and didn’t realize he was suffocating you until you were backing away, telling him that the two of you needed some time apart, and even though he disagreed, the thought of spending any time away from you leaving a sour taste in his mouth, he nodded his head because he was scared that if he didn’t, he’d lose you forever. and he waited, he waited every single day for you to message him again but you didn’t. the end of the break never came and he found himself spending his nights scrolling through all of your texts with him trying to figure out where the fuck he had gone so wrong.

and rindou, who had never genuinely been loved for himself until he met you. who was used to being in his brother’s shadow, the second choice, all of his life. who hadn’t even realized how low his sense of self worth had dropped because even he had fallen for the arrogant facade he had thrown up to hide himself from public eye—who hadn’t realized it, that is, until one of your first nights together when you batted his hands away when he tried lay you back, instead laying him back and running your lips along every inch of his skin, telling him how much you love him, why you loved him and he found himself throwing his arm over his face to hide the tears that were rapidly building in his eyes. your separation had been gradual, an impending doom that he could sense coming from a mile away but it didn’t prepare himself for the actual confrontation. he didn’t bother begging or pleading, he knew you well enough to know that once you made a decision, you would stick with it. and he missed you, god he missed you every fucking day, staring at pictures that he couldn’t bring himself to delete, and every night he went to sleep praying that he woke up to a message from you, figuring out that it was all just some sick nightmare his mind made up. but every morning he woke up and his heart felt heavy when there were no new notifications. and it hurt, he was sure that nothing hurt more than losing the person you thought you’d be spending the rest of your life with but at the very least, he could thank you for helping him realize his self worth