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5 months ago

Swords according to my friend

So me, my friend, and I were talking over dinner with a few other friends around. Sometime during the meal we entered the topic of how every country has their own murder stick (yes I am taking that from that other tumblr post)

This was where I learned my friend has an alarming amount of knowledge on this topic. We started naming countries and he gave an example of their region's murder stick. Enclosed are a few excerpts from the conversation, with all words after the country as exact a quote as I remember.

The US: The country known for having loads of guns and you think they don't have a murder stick?

Argentina: Long ones. That's all I remember.

France: (general shout around the table) Rapier!

Saudi Arabia: Oh god. We're talking about the country that likes to go around conquering other countries. With scimitars. (Laughter abounds) No, no, people! Just imagine, a group of these people running across the sands with scary curved swords would be enough to make you fall down!

The UK: Do you remember the British Empire? You know, the thing that literally conquered half the world? Now do you remember?! They had murder sticks!

Mongolia: That was a place you couldn't turn your head without encountering a pointy object.

Italy: Okay. So, the Roman Empire. Familiar with it? They conquered a fairly huge chunk of Europe! And Africa! Oh, and they loved their short swords. They really loved their short swords.

Egypt: They had- (Massive giggle, someone yells "Khopesh!") I was going to say sickles but that works too.

Estonia: Oh. God. Okay, so I'm pretty proud of my ancestry, so I was looking up stuff about Estonia. And guess what they have? They're known for being very, very distructive. They actually have a plan in place so if anywhere invades, they bomb themselves and the place that invaded. You can get it but you certainly won't get out. And they'll take you with them. They were also very, very fond of two-handed weapons. So we've got these incredibly big people in full plate armor, absolutely covered in metal, and they're wielding giant sticks of steel. And guess what? The steel can cut. Nobody's invading Estonia anytime soon.


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