Though Strange This Article Seems To Think Education And Nutrition Aren't Political - Tumblr Posts

Michelle Obama: "The shards that cut me the deepest were the ones that intended to cut."

Our FLOTUS Forever sat for a conversation in Denver yesterday to a crowd of mostly women and discussed many of the things she advocated for as First Lady, including nutrition and education for girls, but she also touched on the racism she experienced.

WFCO President and CEO Lauren Casteel commented that Obama broke a glass ceiling by becoming the first black first lady. She then asked which of the falling glass shards cut the deepest.

“The shards that cut me the deepest were the ones that intended to cut,” she said, referencing being called an ape and people talking about her bottom. “Knowing that after eight years of working really hard for this country, there are still people who won’t see me for what I am because of my skin color.”

She said she can’t pretend like it doesn’t hurt because that lets those who do the hurting off the hook.

“Women, we endure those cuts in so many ways that we don’t even notice we’re cut,” she said. “We are living with small tiny cuts, and we are bleeding every single day. And we’re still getting up.”

But Obama said women should own their scars. Referring to failure, she said those wounds hurt deeply but they heal with time. If women own their scars, they can encourage younger girls who are getting their first cuts.

(cont. Denver Post) 

I like this.

I understand putting on a brave face for bullies.  Don’t give them the power or satisfaction of letting them know they’ve hurt you.  It’s why we teach kids “Sticks & stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  The theory is if you ignore them, they’ll leave you alone.  The bully wants to hurt you.  Their goal is to affect you and watch you react.  If you don’t give them that reaction, then they haven’t achieved their goal and they lose interest.  Maybe they realize bullying is a waste of their time and they find something else to do.

But that doesn’t mean words don’t hurt unless you allow them to.  That’s the RuPaul School of Don’t Be So Sensitive that I’ve never subscribed to, and I think what Michelle Obama said is important because it’s not really a conversation we usually have with our kids.  Somewhere along the line, bullies stopped needed a reaction.  They troll because it makes them feel good about themselves.  They feel better about their shortcomings by putting someone else down.  They try to make others feel small so they can feel bigger.  It doesn’t matter if the subject reacts or not – they’ve gotten what they wanted from just having an audience to yell at, part of which will support them and part of which will react based on the general impropriety of the trolling.

Michelle Obama is coming at this admitting that she was hurt.  That hurt didn’t stop her from working toward her goals and it didn’t make her into a horrible person, but it’s okay to acknowledge that hurt.  Other girls who are hurt by words can then look at this powerful woman and say She was affected so it’s okay that I am too, but it didn’t define her, and it doesn’t define me.

It’s a fine line to walk between acknowledging your pain and wallowing in it, but obviously Michelle Obama is the best example.  She’s probably taken more fire than any other woman on the planet and look at her, still gracious, still positive, and still inspiring others while not ignoring the negativity that was thrown her way.  Now, I’m not saying I wouldn’t love a good ol’ nasty tell-all where she gives the business to all her haters, but she’s not wired that way, and we’re still so blessed to have her.