Time Zone Rb - Tumblr Posts

Never Have I Ever

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word count:

Warnings: none besides Rose and Finn being conspiratorial little shits

Summary: You've always been too nervous to tell Poe how you feel. A night out after the end of the war may change that.

It feels surreal, to put it simply. It’s over. It’s finally over. For years, you’ve known nothing but chaos and panic and uncertainty. But now, you can leave all of it in the past. Palpatine’s gone. The war’s over.

Leaping from your x-wing, you spot Poe across the tarmac. He locks eyes with you, breaking into a huge, beaming grin. You sprint towards him, sporting an equally bright expression. He holds out his arms, and you leap into them. He spins around as you bury your face in his neck, laughing. He sets you down, placing his hands on your upper arms.

“We did it,” he breathes, and you nod in disbelief.

“We did it,” you repeat, still smiling. You’re about to compliment a particular barrel roll he’d pulled off earlier when Finn comes barreling over, wrapping him in a bear hug. You smile, walking away to grab some water and allow Poe some time with his friend.

He watches your retreating form with a faint smile, content with the universe for the first time in years. Finn looks at him with a knowing expression and nudges him with his elbow. Poe snaps his head around, cheeks flushed.

“You should tell her,” he says, and Poe’s eyes widen.

“No way,” he replies, carding a hand through his hair. “What if I fuck everything up?” Finn rolls his eyes.

“Poe, I love you, but you’re the most oblivious man I’ve ever met.” This earns him a shocked expression from the older man, and he laughs. “Trust me. Just tell her.” Poe opens his mouth to object, but loses what he was going to say as Rey walks up and wraps him and Finn in a hug.

You watch as the three embrace, smiling. You’re so proud of Poe your chest could burst. He’d handled that last battle with the grace and strategy you’ve seen in him time and time again. You hear footsteps headed your way and glance up, to find Rose standing next to you.

“Hey,” she says quietly, and you scooch to the left a bit to give her space to sit, patting the bench next to you. “It’s crazy, huh?”

“Yeah,” is all you can manage, but you can tell that she understands the magnitude of emotions contained in your reply. No words could encapsulate the feeling of joy and relief flowing through you.

“I heard Poe did some pretty amazing flying out there.”

You grin, nodding. “He really did. Per the usual, of course.” Smiling, she takes in the look of admiration on your face.

“You like him.” Not a question, just a statement. An observation. You look at her slowly and nod.

“I do,” you say, taking a sip of water from the canteen in your hand.

“He likes you, I think. From what Finn’s told me.” You splutter, choking on your drink.

“What?” you exclaim, face turning red as a tomato as you cough. She laughs loudly, and you shoot her a death glare. “If you’re pulling my leg I swear-”

“I’m not, I promise.”

Narrowing your eyes, you swallow another mouthful of water. “What exactly has Finn told you?”

“He’s caught Poe staring at you too many times to count, that damn idiot never shuts up about you, and once Rey saw him fiddling with his mom’s ring behind his back while talking to you,” she lists, ticking off the instances on her fingers.

“That doesn’t mean he likes me,” you point out, and Rose sighs. Ignoring her, you continue. “He could’ve just been spacing out, we’re friends, so he’s bound to talk about me, and he just has a thing about not being able to sit still. Those are just...normal Poe things.”

“What are?”

You whip your head around, to see him standing right behind you. Of course.

“Nothing,” you reply calmly, glowering at Rose as she tries to contain her laughter. “Just talking about that maneuver you did earlier. Very impressive.” He grins, clapping you on the shoulder.

“Thanks,” he laughs. “Anyways, we’re headed out to celebrate-” he gestures to Finn, Rey, and his squadron. “-would you guys wanna come?”

Rose nods excitedly, and you do the same. “Sounds awesome.”

The music in the bar pounds in your ears. Normally, you hate crowded, public settings like this - they stress you out. However, you decide to make a special exception for tonight. After all, you just saved the fucking galaxy.

Poe, expectedly, makes a beeline for the bar with Jess. They order several rounds of shots and bring the drinks back to the table the rest of you are sitting at. He slides into his spot next to you, his thigh brushing against yours.

“Ok,” he says loudly, so your group can hear him over the clamor of the establishment. “Never have I ever - pretty simple,” he adds when Rey shoots him a look of confusion. “We’ll go around the table. Someone will say something. If you’ve done what they say, you take a shot. Snap, you go first.”

“Ok, uh, never have I ever gone on a supply run hungover,” he replies, grinning. Poe groans, taking a shot. You gasp as Finn does, too.

“No!” you say, aghast.

“It was one time!” he shouts in defense of himself, and Rey chuckles.

“He threw up within the hour,” Rose says, and you snicker. Finn kicks the mechanic under the table.

“Alright, settle down,” Jess says, clearing her throat. She shoots a pointed glance at Karé. “Never have I ever flirted with a superior officer to get a different assignment.” The woman sighs, pouring liquor into her mouth. Blushing, you do the same. Poe gapes at you.

“You’re kidding me.”

“It wasn’t here,” you admit. “Navy stuff.” Snap laughs as he recalls the event you’re talking about. “I was about to get assigned janitorial duty for the seventh week in a row, so I insinuated some very...” you pause, grinning. “inappropriate things to my commander. He put me on guard duty on the bridge instead.”

A strange feeling flares in Poe’s chest as you and the others laugh about how flustered the officer had gotten, and his knuckles turn white as he clenches the table. You discreetly nudge his leg with your knee.

“You okay?” you ask quietly, and any jealousy he’s feeling melts away as he takes in the concern in your eyes.

“Yeah,” he nods. You smile.

“Cool.”

“Okay, okay,” Karé laughs, shooting a death glare at Jess. “Rose. Your turn.” She smiles conspiratorily at Finn, who nods at her, before glancing at you briefly. You send a befuddled look towards Rey, who simply shakes her head, shrugging.

You have a bad feeling about this.

“Never have I ever…” she trails off, scratching her chin animatedly. “Had a crush on a close friend.”

Your stomach drops. Rose giggles as she feels you tense up beside her.

“Fuck you,” you say, throwing back a shot. A barrage of gasps sounds from your friends. “Oh, grow up,” you laugh, and Finn chuckles. You glare at him, and he raises his hands in surrender. Slowly, Poe leans forward, grabs a shot, and knocks it back. You barely constrain your shock.

“Oh my gods WHO?” Karé squeals, clapping her hands together.

“That’s not part of the game,” Poe quips, offering her a smug expression. She turns hopefully to you, and you laugh.

“No way,” you say, shaking your head. She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout, before letting her mouth fall open.

“Is it someone here?” she asks breathlessly. You clear your throat, face heating.

“I’m gonna go get some fresh air,” you murmur, slipping out of the booth. Karé and Jess boo loudly at your excuse, but you just flip them off as you head outside.

A light breeze tangles its fingers in your hair and tugs at your shirt, small ripples moving along the fabric. You take a seat on a nearby bench, bringing your legs up and crossing them over each other. Fiddling with a loose thread on your sleeve, you glance upwards. The sky above is littered with small pinpricks of light, twinkling back at you.

A creaking noise sounds to your right, and you look back, to see the door to the bar open. You watch as Poe walks through it, puffing his top lip out and shoving his hands in his pockets. He glances in your direction. You offer him a small wave, which he returns, making his way over to where you sit.

“May I?” he asks, and you nod, turning your gaze upwards once more. He does the same, laying an arm across the back of the bench.

“I wonder how many of those we’ve flown by,” he wonders aloud, motioning to the countless stars and planets above you.

“Probably lots. We really went all over, huh?” He smiles, nodding. You stand, walking to the gate in front of the bar and leaning on it. Poe follows suit, bracing his forearms behind him as he leans back.

“Look, it’s stupid of me to ask, and you don’t have to answer, but...who was it?” You turn your head toward him, puzzled. He nods to the bar. “The game. That last question.” You scoot closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. The familiar gesture makes him smile.

“Eh, you don’t wanna know,” you say, and he chuckles.

“Oh, but I do.” You laugh. There’s a moment of silence (not uncomfortable - it never is with Poe) as you figure out how to word your next statement.

“It’s a bit complicated,” you admit, and he turns his head to look down at you.

“Oh?”

“I really like this person, but I also love how close I am with them right now. I’m worried that if they know, that…” you trail off, worried that voicing your concerns will bring them to fruition.

“That everything will change,” Poe finishes quietly. You swallow nervously. “That you could lose them, and you don’t know-” he takes a deep breath “-you don’t know what you would do if that happened.” You turn to face him as he leans up to stand straight, heart pounding in your chest so loud you swear he can hear it. His eyes flit down to your lips momentarily, and your breath hitches.

“Poe,” you say, barely above a whisper. His eyes lock onto yours, and you bite the inside of your cheek.

You open your mouth to continue, but your words die in your throat as he takes your face in his hands. Your whole body goes rigid, and he notices, starting to pull away. Panicking, you place your hands over his, silently reassuring him that it’s ok. He smiles softly, and your cheeks warm.

“Can I kiss you?” he murmurs, and you nod, heart racing. He brings his mouth down to yours tentatively, nose brushing against yours. You smile against his lips, bringing a hand up and burying it in his curls. He fits his hands to your waist, thumb gently brushing over your side. His lips taste like the tequila you’d both taken shots of in the bar, and it’s sweet on your tongue, reminding you of the nectar from the sapflowers back home on Naboo.

The two of you break apart, hot breaths mingling in the small space between you.

“You have no idea,” he murmurs, smile as bright as a thousand suns, “how long I’ve wanted to do that.” His grin widens as you grow flustered, mouth twisting into a small smile.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you say, eyebrows furrowing together. “I didn’t want to mess everything up, and there just wasn’t a good-”

“Hey,” he says gently, taking your hand. “It’s ok, you have nothing to be sorry for.” You smile.

“I really like you,” you say, and he laughs warmly, bringing a hand to your cheek.

“I really like you, too,” he responds, and you lean into the touch. “We should probably head back in, or they’re gonna think we abandoned ship.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you say.

Nobody says anything if they notice how you and Poe hold hands for the rest of the night, sitting closer than you usually do, talking only to each other.

It seems natural, if anything. Like it’s always been that way. Like it’s how it should be.

taglists (open):

permanent: @staarshines

Never Have I Ever

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word count:

Warnings: none besides Rose and Finn being conspiratorial little shits

Summary: You've always been too nervous to tell Poe how you feel. A night out after the end of the war may change that.

It feels surreal, to put it simply. It’s over. It’s finally over. For years, you’ve known nothing but chaos and panic and uncertainty. But now, you can leave all of it in the past. Palpatine’s gone. The war’s over.

Leaping from your x-wing, you spot Poe across the tarmac. He locks eyes with you, breaking into a huge, beaming grin. You sprint towards him, sporting an equally bright expression. He holds out his arms, and you leap into them. He spins around as you bury your face in his neck, laughing. He sets you down, placing his hands on your upper arms.

“We did it,” he breathes, and you nod in disbelief.

“We did it,” you repeat, still smiling. You’re about to compliment a particular barrel roll he’d pulled off earlier when Finn comes barreling over, wrapping him in a bear hug. You smile, walking away to grab some water and allow Poe some time with his friend.

He watches your retreating form with a faint smile, content with the universe for the first time in years. Finn looks at him with a knowing expression and nudges him with his elbow. Poe snaps his head around, cheeks flushed.

“You should tell her,” he says, and Poe’s eyes widen.

“No way,” he replies, carding a hand through his hair. “What if I fuck everything up?” Finn rolls his eyes.

“Poe, I love you, but you’re the most oblivious man I’ve ever met.” This earns him a shocked expression from the older man, and he laughs. “Trust me. Just tell her.” Poe opens his mouth to object, but loses what he was going to say as Rey walks up and wraps him and Finn in a hug.

You watch as the three embrace, smiling. You’re so proud of Poe your chest could burst. He’d handled that last battle with the grace and strategy you’ve seen in him time and time again. You hear footsteps headed your way and glance up, to find Rose standing next to you.

“Hey,” she says quietly, and you scooch to the left a bit to give her space to sit, patting the bench next to you. “It’s crazy, huh?”

“Yeah,” is all you can manage, but you can tell that she understands the magnitude of emotions contained in your reply. No words could encapsulate the feeling of joy and relief flowing through you.

“I heard Poe did some pretty amazing flying out there.”

You grin, nodding. “He really did. Per the usual, of course.” Smiling, she takes in the look of admiration on your face.

“You like him.” Not a question, just a statement. An observation. You look at her slowly and nod.

“I do,” you say, taking a sip of water from the canteen in your hand.

“He likes you, I think. From what Finn’s told me.” You splutter, choking on your drink.

“What?” you exclaim, face turning red as a tomato as you cough. She laughs loudly, and you shoot her a death glare. “If you’re pulling my leg I swear-”

“I’m not, I promise.”

Narrowing your eyes, you swallow another mouthful of water. “What exactly has Finn told you?”

“He’s caught Poe staring at you too many times to count, that damn idiot never shuts up about you, and once Rey saw him fiddling with his mom’s ring behind his back while talking to you,” she lists, ticking off the instances on her fingers.

“That doesn’t mean he likes me,” you point out, and Rose sighs. Ignoring her, you continue. “He could’ve just been spacing out, we’re friends, so he’s bound to talk about me, and he just has a thing about not being able to sit still. Those are just...normal Poe things.”

“What are?”

You whip your head around, to see him standing right behind you. Of course.

“Nothing,” you reply calmly, glowering at Rose as she tries to contain her laughter. “Just talking about that maneuver you did earlier. Very impressive.” He grins, clapping you on the shoulder.

“Thanks,” he laughs. “Anyways, we’re headed out to celebrate-” he gestures to Finn, Rey, and his squadron. “-would you guys wanna come?”

Rose nods excitedly, and you do the same. “Sounds awesome.”

The music in the bar pounds in your ears. Normally, you hate crowded, public settings like this - they stress you out. However, you decide to make a special exception for tonight. After all, you just saved the fucking galaxy.

Poe, expectedly, makes a beeline for the bar with Jess. They order several rounds of shots and bring the drinks back to the table the rest of you are sitting at. He slides into his spot next to you, his thigh brushing against yours.

“Ok,” he says loudly, so your group can hear him over the clamor of the establishment. “Never have I ever - pretty simple,” he adds when Rey shoots him a look of confusion. “We’ll go around the table. Someone will say something. If you’ve done what they say, you take a shot. Snap, you go first.”

“Ok, uh, never have I ever gone on a supply run hungover,” he replies, grinning. Poe groans, taking a shot. You gasp as Finn does, too.

“No!” you say, aghast.

“It was one time!” he shouts in defense of himself, and Rey chuckles.

“He threw up within the hour,” Rose says, and you snicker. Finn kicks the mechanic under the table.

“Alright, settle down,” Jess says, clearing her throat. She shoots a pointed glance at Karé. “Never have I ever flirted with a superior officer to get a different assignment.” The woman sighs, pouring liquor into her mouth. Blushing, you do the same. Poe gapes at you.

“You’re kidding me.”

“It wasn’t here,” you admit. “Navy stuff.” Snap laughs as he recalls the event you’re talking about. “I was about to get assigned janitorial duty for the seventh week in a row, so I insinuated some very...” you pause, grinning. “inappropriate things to my commander. He put me on guard duty on the bridge instead.”

A strange feeling flares in Poe’s chest as you and the others laugh about how flustered the officer had gotten, and his knuckles turn white as he clenches the table. You discreetly nudge his leg with your knee.

“You okay?” you ask quietly, and any jealousy he’s feeling melts away as he takes in the concern in your eyes.

“Yeah,” he nods. You smile.

“Cool.”

“Okay, okay,” Karé laughs, shooting a death glare at Jess. “Rose. Your turn.” She smiles conspiratorily at Finn, who nods at her, before glancing at you briefly. You send a befuddled look towards Rey, who simply shakes her head, shrugging.

You have a bad feeling about this.

“Never have I ever…” she trails off, scratching her chin animatedly. “Had a crush on a close friend.”

Your stomach drops. Rose giggles as she feels you tense up beside her.

“Fuck you,” you say, throwing back a shot. A barrage of gasps sounds from your friends. “Oh, grow up,” you laugh, and Finn chuckles. You glare at him, and he raises his hands in surrender. Slowly, Poe leans forward, grabs a shot, and knocks it back. You barely constrain your shock.

“Oh my gods WHO?” Karé squeals, clapping her hands together.

“That’s not part of the game,” Poe quips, offering her a smug expression. She turns hopefully to you, and you laugh.

“No way,” you say, shaking your head. She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout, before letting her mouth fall open.

“Is it someone here?” she asks breathlessly. You clear your throat, face heating.

“I’m gonna go get some fresh air,” you murmur, slipping out of the booth. Karé and Jess boo loudly at your excuse, but you just flip them off as you head outside.

A light breeze tangles its fingers in your hair and tugs at your shirt, small ripples moving along the fabric. You take a seat on a nearby bench, bringing your legs up and crossing them over each other. Fiddling with a loose thread on your sleeve, you glance upwards. The sky above is littered with small pinpricks of light, twinkling back at you.

A creaking noise sounds to your right, and you look back, to see the door to the bar open. You watch as Poe walks through it, puffing his top lip out and shoving his hands in his pockets. He glances in your direction. You offer him a small wave, which he returns, making his way over to where you sit.

“May I?” he asks, and you nod, turning your gaze upwards once more. He does the same, laying an arm across the back of the bench.

“I wonder how many of those we’ve flown by,” he wonders aloud, motioning to the countless stars and planets above you.

“Probably lots. We really went all over, huh?” He smiles, nodding. You stand, walking to the gate in front of the bar and leaning on it. Poe follows suit, bracing his forearms behind him as he leans back.

“Look, it’s stupid of me to ask, and you don’t have to answer, but...who was it?” You turn your head toward him, puzzled. He nods to the bar. “The game. That last question.” You scoot closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. The familiar gesture makes him smile.

“Eh, you don’t wanna know,” you say, and he chuckles.

“Oh, but I do.” You laugh. There’s a moment of silence (not uncomfortable - it never is with Poe) as you figure out how to word your next statement.

“It’s a bit complicated,” you admit, and he turns his head to look down at you.

“Oh?”

“I really like this person, but I also love how close I am with them right now. I’m worried that if they know, that…” you trail off, worried that voicing your concerns will bring them to fruition.

“That everything will change,” Poe finishes quietly. You swallow nervously. “That you could lose them, and you don’t know-” he takes a deep breath “-you don’t know what you would do if that happened.” You turn to face him as he leans up to stand straight, heart pounding in your chest so loud you swear he can hear it. His eyes flit down to your lips momentarily, and your breath hitches.

“Poe,” you say, barely above a whisper. His eyes lock onto yours, and you bite the inside of your cheek.

You open your mouth to continue, but your words die in your throat as he takes your face in his hands. Your whole body goes rigid, and he notices, starting to pull away. Panicking, you place your hands over his, silently reassuring him that it’s ok. He smiles softly, and your cheeks warm.

“Can I kiss you?” he murmurs, and you nod, heart racing. He brings his mouth down to yours tentatively, nose brushing against yours. You smile against his lips, bringing a hand up and burying it in his curls. He fits his hands to your waist, thumb gently brushing over your side. His lips taste like the tequila you’d both taken shots of in the bar, and it’s sweet on your tongue, reminding you of the nectar from the sapflowers back home on Naboo.

The two of you break apart, hot breaths mingling in the small space between you.

“You have no idea,” he murmurs, smile as bright as a thousand suns, “how long I’ve wanted to do that.” His grin widens as you grow flustered, mouth twisting into a small smile.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you say, eyebrows furrowing together. “I didn’t want to mess everything up, and there just wasn’t a good-”

“Hey,” he says gently, taking your hand. “It’s ok, you have nothing to be sorry for.” You smile.

“I really like you,” you say, and he laughs warmly, bringing a hand to your cheek.

“I really like you, too,” he responds, and you lean into the touch. “We should probably head back in, or they’re gonna think we abandoned ship.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you say.

Nobody says anything if they notice how you and Poe hold hands for the rest of the night, sitting closer than you usually do, talking only to each other.

It seems natural, if anything. Like it’s always been that way. Like it’s how it should be.

taglists (open):

permanent: @staarshines

❝ if you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people. ❞

you know the greatest films of all time were never made.

trobed in folklore series // 1/?

fav sw ships series // 1/? : finnrey

This question is for poe. Are you gonna be, like, a big character in this movie, or are you gonna be, like a tiny character?

bonus:

rey + being the loml

Can My Girlfriend Come?

Pairing: Rey Skywalker x Reader

Word Count: 816

Summary: A certain flyboy decides to flirt with you. You find his advances hilarious for a number of reasons.

a/n: I was way too lazy to beta read this so uh sorry for any typos

You hop out of your x-wing, a loud thud reverberating across the bustling tarmac as your boots make contact with the ground. You lift off your helmet, a sigh of relief falling from your lips as waves of cool air roll over your flushed face.

You shrug off the top half of your flight suit as you walk across the hangar to grab a tool kit, tying the orange sleeves around your waist. The black tank top you have on under it clings to you like a second skin, drenched with sweat. You pick at it, sighing. The people down in laundry must hate pilots, and you can’t really blame them.

You make your way back over to your ship, halting a few yards away when you notice a guy standing in front of it.

Hesitantly, you approach him, casually clearing your throat to alert him of your presence. His head snaps around at the noise, and a pink tone creeps into his cheeks.

“Uh, hi,” you say awkwardly, lifting a hand in greeting.

“Hi, sorry,” he says quickly. Gosh, she’s cute. He absentmindedly cards a hand through his hair. “I’m Poe, Poe Dameron.” He extends a hand, and you take it, smiling.

“Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you.”

“I just really like the paint job on your ship. Who’d you get it done by?”

Smiling, you prop the toolbox on your hip. “I did it with a couple of friends, actually.” It was one of your proudest accomplishments - if you forget the huge mess that was made on the tarmac after Ellie accidentally tripped over one of the paint containers.

“Wow,” Poe breathes, nodding appreciatively. Cute and capable.

“Yeah,” you laugh, walking past him and hopping up onto the wing you need to work on. “It took us a couple of days, but it was definitely worth it. So much better than that shitty yellow it used to be.” You pull out a wrench, going to work on the nearest bolt. Your arms strain as you push against the stubborn piece of metal, but it eventually gives way, and you sigh with relief, pushing a few fallen strands of hair back from your face. You look up, and, to your surprise, Poe is still standing there, watching you. “Yes?” you say sarcastically, snorting in amusement as he startles.

“Sorry,” he laughs, shaking his head. “Uh, I have a...proposal.” You tilt your head to the side, hopping down from your ship. You land next to him and cross your arms in front of you.

“Is that so?” you say, and he nods, grinning.

Rey watches from across the hangar as you work on your ship. She smiles. You’d been away for so long, it felt like an eternity. She knows it’s only been a few weeks, and that helping planets get back on their feet after the First Order left was important, but still. It had been so long. So. Damn. Long.

“Hey, can you hold this for a second?” she asks a nearby runway tech, nodding at the DataPad in her hands. They nod, and she beams gratefully, before heading over in your direction. Her steps falter as you hop down from your ship and approach Poe, who’s standing nearby, seemingly speaking with you. Your words slowly become more audible as she approaches.

“Is that so?” you ask him, crossing your arms. She smiles.

“How about you and me get a drink sometime? I hear that pub on Ajara makes a mean Arboite Twister.” Her stomach drops. He’s got to be kidding.

“Of course!” you say, smiling. You know what he’s trying to do, and find it somewhat entertaining. You glance over his shoulder momentarily at a quiet rustling noise and see Rey standing nearby. You smile at him, holding up a finger. “I have one request.” He quirks a brow.

“What’s that?” You quickly sprint over to Rey, grab her hand, and pull her over.

“Can my girlfriend come?” You ask, grinning. His face falls, cheeks turning bright red.

“You’re Y/N? Like, the Y/N?” he exclaims, eyes widening. Rey nods, and you laugh, nodding. “I’m so sorry, seriously,” he says, words tripping over each other.

“It’s fine,” you and Rey say at the same time, laughing.

“Drinks do sound nice, though,” you say, and your girlfriend elbows you in the side, laughing. You pinch her leg. She hisses, swatting your hand away. Poe laughs.

“I have to agree, though,” she says contemplatively. “It’s been forever since we’ve been out. How about we go to that bar tonight? I’ll ask Finn, I’m sure he and Rose would love to come along,” Rey offers, and Poe nods. “And,” she adds, grinning. “You can get to know my wonderful girlfriend.” You blush as she swings an arm around your waist, pulling you close.

“Sounds like a plan,” Poe responds. “I can’t wait.”

taglists:

permanent: @staarshines

Headcanons: Hugs w/ Poe

Warnings: none

i may or may not have written this bc i had a dream i hugged poe last night and it made me cry

ok first off he's fucking jacked

so his hugs are suffocating but in the best way possible

if he's wearing his flight suit it'll puff up around you and create this mini cocoon of coziness and warmth and you feel so safe

one of his favorite things to do is sneak up behind you and wrap his arms around you

it's caused a couple accidents - one time you got so startled you stumbled back and stomped on his foot

he didn't mind

the best part of your day is coming home to your quarters and collapsing into his arms, especially if it's been a rough day

speaking of rough days, he can always tell if you need a break from the hectic bustling of base - if you need to take a step back and just recharge

he'll pull you aside into some hallway or closet and tuck you into his chest until you feel better

you'd never tell him, but the sound of his heartbeat as you rest against him is your favorite sound in the whole world

he discovered a while ago that if he gets you to sit down next to him, wraps an arm around you, and strokes the bridge of your nose with his pinky, you'll go out like a light

it becomes useful later in the war when you won't let yourself sleep ("why would I be sleeping when I could be doing something? helping people?" "you need sleep to function.")

another thing he loves doing is resting his chin on the top of your head and pressing kisses to your hair if you need help calming down

he uses that one a lot during missions, especially as they get more and more intense

physical touch is something that helps ground the both of you, and he loves that he can just shower you with love and affection almost anytime (almost = when you're not holding hot coffee - he's not going to make that mistake again.)

taglists:

permanent: @staarshines

poe: @zoriis @obiwns

Consequences of Anger-Spurred Outbursts

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Fem!Solo*!Reader

*(mainly bc i just wanted reader to be leia's daughter for comedic reasons, it's an easy bit to ignore if you'd like to do so)

Summary: After learning some information about one of your pilots, you go a little haywire. Poe is both impressed and a little shocked.

Word Count: 1700 ish

Warnings: dumbass men, punching, minor injuries

You were just about up to your neck in reasons to hurl the nearest wrench across the hangar. The mission had gone well, but what it going well entailed was driving you up the wall. You and Poe had been sent by Leia to meet General Calrissian about some troubling information he’d picked up in some backwater bar on Ryloth. Apparently, one of the Resistance’s pilots was dirty - selling out intel about Rebel tech to the First Order in exchange for credits. Even worse, Lando’s information had confirmed one of your deepest, most buried worries. That it was someone in your squadron.

You’d tried to remain impartial to the pilots under your command in the long extent you’d been on base, but Dext Stamat had always struck you as a little off. Rude, toeing the line of insubordination on multiple occasions, and always asking too many questions. Of course, curiosity and ambition among your pilots was usually a good thing. It meant that they were engaged, interested in the cause, and you always loved sharing the knowledge you’d picked up as you've traveled across the galaxy. However, Stamat had strange habits of asking for details about upcoming missions that even you didn’t know yet. It had unnerved you from the beginning of his stint in your squadron, especially as his questions began to coincide with mishaps, even smaller ones, that began to throw off missions of larger and larger scales.

And now, you knew why. That dirty, dirty pig.

You were going to skin him alive.

“Just wait 'til I get my hands on that piece of shit,” you snarl as Poe attempts to discreetly wrestle you away from the hustle and bustle of the main hangar to the tarmac outside. It’s best if this conversation goes unheard.

“I know you want to, and for a good reason, but you can’t. Leia- General Organa needs him alive. If he’s been communicating with the First Order, that means he knows how they’re operating, to a certain extent. He’s valuable to her. To us.” You sigh, letting the frustrated noise signal your reluctant agreement. He’s right, after all; Dext is a dirtbag, but he’s a dirtbag that could get you some leads. You take a deep breath, starting to feel yourself cool off.

“Hey, did you see me out there? I bet Dameron couldn’t do that.”

You furrow your brows, turning your head to find the source of your confusion.

Poe’s grip on your hands tightens as Dex and his pack of buddies (more like lower-level fighters that follow him around out of pure fear) enter the hangar. He’s boasting about a recent flight, of course. When is he not? Your blood boils in your veins, a roaring sound creeping into your ears as he rambles on and on about how he’d executed a double loop. It’s pretty basic, jackass. My mom could fly better than you.

You can feel your cheeks start to flush red. Poe sees, and wisely lets you go. It’s best if he lets you handle this on your own. You wouldn’t do anything brash, would you? No, he decides. You wouldn’t do anything.

He watches as you casually stroll past the group of men, leaning on a nearby fighter and picking at your nails with a spare screwdriver you’d found on your way over. From your spot closer to the pilot, you can hear every word tumbling carelessly out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I just punched it. Let ‘em eat my space dust, if you know what I mean.” He tilts his head back, guffawing at his own joke. The group around him quickly lets out a round of polite laughs, nervously glancing back and forth between Stamat and each other. “I straight-up smoked them, I tell you. I’d like to see Pretty Boy Poe pull that one off.” No longer able to contain yourself, you clear your throat, relishing the momentary look of bewilderment on Dext’s overexaggerated features. It doesn’t last long, unfortunately. His beady eyes quickly harden, lips tilting into a smirk.

“Hey, Solo.”

“That’s Commander Solo to you, Dex.” Using his nickname’s a low blow, you know that, but you just can’t put up with his bullshit anymore. Especially not after being told of what he’s been doing - what he’s cost you. Who he’s cost you. His jaw sets into a sharp line, and he lets out a low, raw noise that almost sounds like a growl.

“Oh, is that so, Commander?” he says mockingly, and you sigh, not meeting his eyeline as you return your attention to your gritty nails. Damn flight gloves - you should probably clean them more often. You smile inwardly as he grumbles with annoyance.

“You know, Stamat, I’d be more careful about how you treat superior officers,” you say lightly, tilting your head to meet his gaze. He sneers down at you, momentarily glancing back. You follow his sightline, to see Poe standing against a far wall.

“Why?” he whines comically, toying with you. “Or you’ll report me to your boyfriend?” You glare at him, and he just offers you his pathetic attempt at a simpering smile. “You look pretty flushed, Commander. Have you two been busy lately?” he asks, snickering. The roaring sound in your ears gets a little louder. It mingles with the sound of boots against concrete as Poe makes his way over. He’d heard that last comment.

“You heard her, Stamat. Watch it,” he warns. You cringe inwardly. Poe, why? Just let me deal with him. Please. Dext just ignores him, the only indication he’s aware of his presence being an offhand glance over his head.

“Aw, do you need him to come fight your battles for you?” he asks, chuckling. “How cute. You know, if this short stack of griddle cakes isn’t doing it for you, my quarters are always unlocked.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” you say, taking a step forward. Poe grins as Stamat stumbles back.

That’s my girl.

“Oh, yeah, trust me, I can give you so much more than flyboy over here,” he sneers. He opens his mouth to spew some more infuriating bantha fodder, but the only sound that exits his mouth is a high-pitched yelp as your fist soars upwards and connects with his jaw. His heavy form collapses to the tarmac, and his eyes shudder closed. Poe freezes, turning to face you.

“Y/N!”

“WHAT?”

“You punched him!”

“Eh,” is all you say, before picking Stamat up by the arms and dragging him inside. Poe watches you exit the hangar, not knowing if he should worry about how mad Leia’s going to be or marvel at how strong you are.

After a few moments, he snaps out his trance and jogs into the building, following the trail of confused, concerned stares you’d left in your wake all the way up to the General’s small office in the middle of the base. He catches up to you just outside the door. You seem unfazed as you tote Dex’s rather large body around, and he just watches, in awe, as you drag him into the office.

Of all the things General Leia Organa thought she’d see today, Poe Dameron leaning in her doorway while her fuming daughter drags in the limp body of a pilot to her was not one of them. Still, it wasn’t totally out of left quadrant, so she just sighs, sits down on her small couch, and says: “You have five minutes to explain.”

To her shock, one of the usual rambling verbal essays she can often predict when talking with Commander Dameron doesn’t come. You just stretch your fingers and approach her, boots thudding softly against the floor.

“General Calrissian told us that this one here-” you pause to jerk your thumb downwards to the unconscious pilot who is now drooling on her carpet. “-has been selling us out. Giving details to the First Order about our new ships and weaponry. I’ve had a bad feeling about him for months, and now I know why. Do with that what you will. I’m gonna take tomorrow off. I injured my hand.” And with that, you walk out of her office, rubbing your knuckles. Poe stares after you, and the General waves a hand, dismissing him. He offers her an apologetic smile, then dashes out of the room.

He falls into step beside you, shooting a glance in your direction. His eyebrows shoot skyward as he surveys the poorly restrained satisfaction written on your face. For fuck's sake, you're grinning.

“Why in gods’ name are you smiling right now?” he asks, and you chuckle.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” He pauses, staring at you. Your stomach drops. He looks offended. A muddled apology begins to tumble from your lips, but your words halt on your tongue as he bursts into laughter, takes your face in his hands, and presses his lips to yours.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs, and you blush, ears turning the color of a tomato. Smirking, Poe brushes a few stray hairs from your face. He finds it incredibly satisfying that you can knock a 6’4 dude out cold, yet he can still make you turn bright red in the blink of an eye. He goes to take your hand, but you pull away, hissing.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I hurt my hand,” you say, and he blanches, concerned. “Don’t worry, just a little bruising.” He relaxes visibly, and you grab the corner of his jacket. He swings around to face you. “However, I think it is mandatory that you come watch a HoloVid with me and eat a slightly unhealthy amount of popcorn.”

“You just learned we’ve been sold out to the First Order and all you can think about is a sleepover?” he asks incredulously, not admitting he'd been on the verge of proposing the exact same plan.

“We’ve got a couple of days before we can do anything about it,” you say, and Poe narrows his eyes at you. He knows you’re right, of course. Grinning, you fix your eyes to his, pouting out your bottom lip slightly. Godsdamnit, you’re adorable when you do that, he thinks, finally conceding with a nod and an exaggerated eye roll. “Yessss,” you cheer through your teeth, pumping a fist in the air.

Poe chuckles, wrapping an arm around you and pressing a kiss to your hair. All things considered, this was shaping up to be a relatively decent afternoon.

taglists:

permanent: @staarshines

poe: @zoriis @obiwns

cassian + caring about jyn [click for better quality]

fav sw ships series // 2/?: rebelcaptain

Before You Leave

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Prompt: "unrequited love, in which i just poured my heart out to you, telling you i love you and you said that you don’t feel the same way, and then you leave, and i’m standing here, not sure what to do, i can’t even cry that’s how shocked and heartbroken i am"

Word Count: 812

Warnings: i cried while writing this so take that as you will

a/n: it's 5 am and i refuse to beta read this so it could be hot trash we'll see

You weave your way through the massive crowd bustling through the hangar to your friends, sidestepping BB-8 as you approach Poe.

“Hey, can we talk?” you ask, gently placing your hand on his forearm. “Before you leave?”

“Yeah, of course,” he says, following you out of the expansive space, through a few passageways, and into your quarters. The two of you dodge frantic runway techs and pilots on your way - the main hallway is rather busy, people running back and forth helping to prepare the Falcon. After all, this was the mission. The be-all-end-all.

“I’m not sure what’s going to happen when you leave,” you start as you cross the threshold into your room, picking up a sweater from your bed and pulling it on to have something, anything to do with your hands. He nods, understanding the massive collection of anxious feelings that were most likely trying to find their ways into your mind. He always felt the same way before you left - panic about if you’d return, then the numbness that would set if you were even an hour late returning. “And I just needed to tell you something - to prepare for the worst happening.” Your hands are trembling at this point, and he takes them in his, concerned.

“Is everything ok?” he asks, brows knitting together with concern. You smile tightly at him, nodding.

“Yeah, I just- I’ve been thinking a lot about being honest with people lately - you know, what with the large probability that we could, well, die soon,” you say, clearing your throat nervously, and he nods. “And there’s something that I haven’t been very honest with you about.” Your heart races, thumping against your ribcage so hard you swear he can hear it. If someone had given you a cup of water to hold right now, it would be sloshing all over the floor. “I love you,” you blurt out, not knowing how else to say it other than quickly, without allowing any chance for interruption. You glance up at him, relief bursting in your chest as he smiles.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he says warmly. “You mean so much to me. So much.” You smile, thanking every god you can think of. “But you tell me that all the time - was there something else?” he asks, confused.

You kick yourself inwardly. Of course.

“No, I know that we say that a lot, like we care about each other, but I love you, Poe. I’m in love with you.” Knowing that if you stop now, you’ll probably never speak again, you continue on, hands still shaking like a leaf. “I love how passionate you are about flying, and how you always check on me if you know that I’ve had a bad day, and I love the way you always wake me up early to watch the sunset with you, and I just didn’t want to let you leave without telling you. Because I feel like you might feel the same way, and I’m not letting myself lose that. Not now. Not with you.” You look back up at him hopefully, a smile daring to tilt your lips upward.

Your stomach drops as you take in the look of bewilderment on his face.

“Are you sure?” he asks, pulling his hands from yours. You swallow thickly, nodding. “I don’t know what to say, Y/N, I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel the same way. I love you as a friend, but nothing more. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” you say, face heating with shame. How could you be so stupid? “That’s ok,” you say, tucking your hands to your sides as a knot ties in your stomach. “I’m sorry,” you murmur, looking down at the floor. The shining tile reflects your fallen face back at you. Mockery at its finest.

“It’s fine,” he responds, his harsh tone slapping you across the face and leaving you breathless, a sharp pain taking root in your chest. Motioning to the door, he says, “I need to go.”

“Please comm me as soon as you get somewhere safe,” you call out after him, but you look up to find that he’s already left.

You aren’t sure how long you stand there, but by the time you draw on enough resolve to leave your quarters, Poe is long gone, taking any hope of reconciliation with him.

You want the tears to come, but they refuse to surface. It would be easier if you could be mad, find some fiber of your being that resents him now. But you can’t - how could you? Poe was good. Caring, kind, considerate beyond belief. Loyal.

Beautiful.

Shivering, you wrap your sweater tighter around yourself and walk to the door. You can't bear to talk to anyone right now.

As you close your door, you feel another one shut hundreds of parsecs away.

taglists:

permanent: @staarshines

poe: @zoriis @obiwns

"i'm sorry i can't be next to you."

tagging: @femmebergara

Before You Leave

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Prompt: "unrequited love, in which i just poured my heart out to you, telling you i love you and you said that you don’t feel the same way, and then you leave, and i’m standing here, not sure what to do, i can’t even cry that’s how shocked and heartbroken i am"

Word Count: 812

Warnings: i cried while writing this so take that as you will

a/n: it's 5 am and i refuse to beta read this so it could be hot trash we'll see

You weave your way through the massive crowd bustling through the hangar to your friends, sidestepping BB-8 as you approach Poe.

“Hey, can we talk?” you ask, gently placing your hand on his forearm. “Before you leave?”

“Yeah, of course,” he says, following you out of the expansive space, through a few passageways, and into your quarters. The two of you dodge frantic runway techs and pilots on your way - the main hallway is rather busy, people running back and forth helping to prepare the Falcon. After all, this was the mission. The be-all-end-all.

“I’m not sure what’s going to happen when you leave,” you start as you cross the threshold into your room, picking up a sweater from your bed and pulling it on to have something, anything to do with your hands. He nods, understanding the massive collection of anxious feelings that were most likely trying to find their ways into your mind. He always felt the same way before you left - panic about if you’d return, then the numbness that would set if you were even an hour late returning. “And I just needed to tell you something - to prepare for the worst happening.” Your hands are trembling at this point, and he takes them in his, concerned.

“Is everything ok?” he asks, brows knitting together with concern. You smile tightly at him, nodding.

“Yeah, I just- I’ve been thinking a lot about being honest with people lately - you know, what with the large probability that we could, well, die soon,” you say, clearing your throat nervously, and he nods. “And there’s something that I haven’t been very honest with you about.” Your heart races, thumping against your ribcage so hard you swear he can hear it. If someone had given you a cup of water to hold right now, it would be sloshing all over the floor. “I love you,” you blurt out, not knowing how else to say it other than quickly, without allowing any chance for interruption. You glance up at him, relief bursting in your chest as he smiles.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he says warmly. “You mean so much to me. So much.” You smile, thanking every god you can think of. “But you tell me that all the time - was there something else?” he asks, confused.

You kick yourself inwardly. Of course.

“No, I know that we say that a lot, like we care about each other, but I love you, Poe. I’m in love with you.” Knowing that if you stop now, you’ll probably never speak again, you continue on, hands still shaking like a leaf. “I love how passionate you are about flying, and how you always check on me if you know that I’ve had a bad day, and I love the way you always wake me up early to watch the sunset with you, and I just didn’t want to let you leave without telling you. Because I feel like you might feel the same way, and I’m not letting myself lose that. Not now. Not with you.” You look back up at him hopefully, a smile daring to tilt your lips upward.

Your stomach drops as you take in the look of bewilderment on his face.

“Are you sure?” he asks, pulling his hands from yours. You swallow thickly, nodding. “I don’t know what to say, Y/N, I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel the same way. I love you as a friend, but nothing more. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” you say, face heating with shame. How could you be so stupid? “That’s ok,” you say, tucking your hands to your sides as a knot ties in your stomach. “I’m sorry,” you murmur, looking down at the floor. The shining tile reflects your fallen face back at you. Mockery at its finest.

“It’s fine,” he responds, his harsh tone slapping you across the face and leaving you breathless, a sharp pain taking root in your chest. Motioning to the door, he says, “I need to go.”

“Please comm me as soon as you get somewhere safe,” you call out after him, but you look up to find that he’s already left.

You aren’t sure how long you stand there, but by the time you draw on enough resolve to leave your quarters, Poe is long gone, taking any hope of reconciliation with him.

You want the tears to come, but they refuse to surface. It would be easier if you could be mad, find some fiber of your being that resents him now. But you can’t - how could you? Poe was good. Caring, kind, considerate beyond belief. Loyal.

Beautiful.

Shivering, you wrap your sweater tighter around yourself and walk to the door. You can't bear to talk to anyone right now.

As you close your door, you feel another one shut hundreds of parsecs away.

taglists:

permanent: @staarshines

poe: @zoriis @obiwns

Take a Break

Pairing: Poe Dameron x GN!Reader (modern!au)

Word count: 540

Warnings: brief mentions of alcohol

Summary: You and Poe share a much-needed quiet moment together during a party

A/N: Can be read romantically or platonically

The sounds of the party drift out into the cold night air, past where you sit on the small balcony and down into the city beyond. You shiver, wrapping your coat tighter around you as a breeze tickles the back of your neck. Inhaling deeply, you savor the fresh air you slipped away to enjoy.

You love hanging out with your friends, of course. It can just get overwhelming at times, so you like to find small moments like these to savor by yourself.

The sound of the door opening behind you stirs you from your thoughts, and you don’t need to turn to recognize Poe’s footsteps as he approaches and sits beside you, crossing his legs and wrapping an arm around you. You lean your head down onto his shoulder, scooting closer to take advantage of his body heat. He chuckles, sensing what you’re doing and pulling you into his side.

“Just wanted to check on you,” he says, following your eyeline and looking up at the scene that stretches on forever above you, bright stars twinkling against the dark backdrop of the sky.

“I’m all right,” you respond, nodding. “Just needed a break from everyone.”

Poe hums his understanding.

“I can go back inside if you need more time,” he says, and you can tell it’s genuine. You shake your head, smiling softly.

“You don’t count as everyone,” you say.

“I’m honored. Truly.” You laugh, shoving him playfully. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the only sound being the traffic far below you and the occasional muffled shout drifting to your ears from the gathering inside.

“I went to that library earlier today,” you tell him. Poe looks at you, smiling fondly.

“The one you read about?”

“Yeah. It was really cool, they had this huge display case with all these old manuscripts. I need to take you there sometime. You’d like it.”

“Definitely,” he says, lifting his hand from your shoulder to brush back a few strands of hair that had fallen in your face.

“What time is it?” you ask, realizing you’d left your watch at home and your phone in Rey’s bedroom.

“8:19,” Poe says, looking down at his phone, the soft blue glow from the screen washing over his features.

A loud cheer from inside draws your attention, and you turn your head to see what caused it. You chuckle softly as you watch Jess and Finn down a row of shots at an alarming rate. Poe’s laugh bubbles in your ear, making you smile even wider.

“I think it’s best if we head back to make sure they don’t do something outlandishly disastrous,” you laugh. As the ones who volunteered to drive people home for the night, you and Poe are the only ones not drinking.

“Probably,” he laughs, standing up. He offers you his hand, and you take it, smiling gratefully at him as he helps you to your feet. “If you need another break let me know and I’ll cover for you,” he says quietly, pulling open the sliding glass door. A loud chorus of laughter and cheers sound at your arrival.

“Thanks,” you murmur out of the corner of your mouth, and he nods.

“Anytime.”

tags: @staarshines @obiwns @zoriis

pizza and packing

pairing: yoongi x reader (no pronouns/gendered language are used for the reader)

summary: you’re moving to a new city and packing up everything you own. It’s a little overwhelming to do by yourself, so thank goodness yoongi knocks on your door to remind you that you’re not alone (plus he brought a smoothie!).

wordcount: 2.4k

what’s inside: fluff, angsty reader quickly followed by comfort, yoongi’s hugs could solve the climate crisis, crying, some overthinking with a dash of spiraling

posted: august 2023 (also on ao3!)

beta read by @theharrowing!!! thank you for SO much i love you an incredible amount 🪿

note: wow this started off as me needing to process some things and then turned into an entire story lol. enjoy!! ALSO this is my first time writing fanfic so please please let me know what you think!!!!!

Moving sucks.

You knew this, theoretically. People always complain that moving is too expensive, too much work, simply too hard. 

But no one warned you about the loneliness. How your home begins to echo as you pull mugs from cabinets and sweaters from drawers, stuffing it all unceremoniously into boxes. The uncomfortable chill that seeps into the newly empty spaces no longer taken up by your rug or TV. Not to forget the bare spots left by taking down the fairy lights circling the ceiling, your wall of photos and art prints, and the whiteboard calendar that still counts down the days to last month’s big celebration. 

Just this morning you cried over a crumpled note found in the back corner of your desk. Rereading your best friend’s well wishes about your new home!, a new start!, a fun adventure! made you realize you couldn’t remember the last time you had deliberately picked up the phone to dial their number.

The doorbell startles you from your thoughts as a rogue tear slips down your cheek. You swipe at it and a quick glance at your phone tells you your fourth take out order of the week isn’t supposed to be here yet. You relax back onto your couch and settle beneath your multicolored crocheted blanket, willing the cheese on your future pizza to melt just a little faster. 

Your stomach grumbles in protest at the thought and you join it, groaning when the doorbell rings a second time. Today’s packing-up-your-apartment uniform consisted of a set of well-loved pjs, with a few holes you are definitely ignoring, and tossing your unshowered hair into a top knot. In other words, you were not in the mood to chat up a solicitor. 

“I’ve already found God! Thank you!” you yell at the door from your fortress of comfort.

A familiar low chuckle paired with a rhythmic knock greets you this time, and recognition makes you roll your eyes and grin. You untangle yourself from your cozy nest of blankets before sprinting over to the door. Flinging it open, you see a familiar sight: Min Yoongi, phone in one hand, thermos in the other, and gummy smirk plastered across his features.

“I thought you were the delivery guy,” you mumble. “Why didn’t you just knock first?”

Yoongi shrugs and holds out the thermos for you to take, “This one is banana peanut butter with kale and…” he stops for a moment, shakes his head and continues, “something else, too, I don’t know. I promise it tastes good though.”

With suspicion only just hiding the smile in your eyes, you open the thermos and take a long gulp, sighing after you swallow. Oof. Had you actually eaten anything today? Yoongi, still in the doorway, laughs out loud, his expression circling between amusement and chagrin as he catches your eye.

“Cherries. It’s got cherries in it. And now your lips are very red.” He chuckles again with a sparkle in his eye and gaze lingering on your mouth for maybe a moment too long.

“Mhm” you wink at him and take an extra swig from the thermos for good measure, turning around to walk into your apartment. You freeze, suddenly seeing the disembodiment of your living room through his eyes and feel him run into your back with a soft ‘oof.’ 

“Um okay so um this doesn’t normally look like this, I–”

“Y/N, you’re moving”

“Yes, I know, but um there’s nowhere to sit and I can’t make you tea or anything, because the pot is packed, and I don’t have any food or snacks to offer, and–” 

Your word vomit dies down as you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder, the slight pressure turning you around to face him. You’re sure he can see the panic in your eyes as he hums a short positive note.

“Do you want me to leave? I wanted to make sure you ate something with greens today and I think I’ve got that checked off the box,” he gestures toward your hands where you’re still clutching his thermos with a death grip. 

With your brain still catapulting headfirst into all of the ways you are currently failing at your people-are-over-must-be-a-perfect-host duties, you purse your lips and sigh, “Yeah, maybe.”

You see something unfamiliar pass across his features, but it morphs so quickly into a sweet smile you can’t decipher it fast enough. 

“Alrighty then.” He nods, “best of luck with the rest of your packing. Let me know if you need anything else, and I’ll see you later.” He turns and walks out the door, down your front steps and disappears around the corner. 

You push the door shut and rest your forehead on the cool wood for a moment, the slight chill relieving you of your hosting concerns when the next set of concerns sidle in. 

Wait, did he want to stay? Better question, did you want company? Being alone for the past three days had been making you feel stir-crazy, but there was still so much to do, and it was exhausting directing other people. But he’s not your normal ‘other people.’ Did he drive away yet? Maybe you can still catch him. Ah shit, did you even thank him for the smoothie? 

Your thoughts tumble and jumble with the force of a second spin cycle – UGH you also still have laundry to do. Pulling yourself from the door, you give up on trying to catch him and head back to the safety of your couch. You sip from his thermos and pull out your phone to text a quick thank you. 

A few minutes later, your phone pings with the notification that your pizza has been delivered. You open the app to double check the photo the driver sent as your doorbell rings. 

You break out into laughter as you pull open the door for a second time and show the grinning man on the other side the photo on your phone: Min fucking Yoongi outside your door holding two pizza boxes with a shit eating grin on his face and giving the camera a thumbs up. 

“Someone order pizza?” 

—

An hour later, you’re not sure who convinced who to stay, but you’ve both been fed and watered with cheesy nonsense and warm conversation. 

Remarkably, he wasn’t bothered by the stacks of boxes and piles of items yet to be packed. The other half of your brain reminds you that he’s seen your apartment – and you – through all levels of disarray, some messes 100% yours, like when laundry day lasts a week and takes over your bedroom, the living room, and somehow the bathroom. Other messes were more of a group effort, when you would join forces to make the biggest mess in your kitchen possible while learning a new cooking technique from your subscription meal kit boxes.

Paper plates thrown into a garbage bag and half a pizza wrapped up for tomorrow’s breakfast later, you plop yourself on your carpet, back leaning against your couch, and sigh. You had been trying your darndest to separate the mountain of boxes in front of you into “give away” and “keep” before Yoongi had knocked on your door the first time, and they had now snuck from the ignorable periphery back into your sight. 

All at once, the previously easy chatter catches in your throat and you feel yourself trail off, whatever you had just been laughing about suddenly dying on your lips. 

“Hey,” a soft voice pierces through the bubble of your thoughts.

“Where did you go, just now?”

You turn to see Yoongi sitting cross legged next to you. He cocks his head at you, his voiced question clear in his soft eyes and slight frown. You avoid his eyes by looking down at your hands in your lap, and realize you are clutching your nearly empty water glass as if it was a life preserver. Raising the cup to your lips, you shrug and gesture loosely at the boxes, the white walls, the furniture marked for people who had messaged you on Facebook Marketplace. 

This room would no longer be yours in less than a week, the items in it in even less time. It was more full than it had ever been and yet you felt the emptiness of each drawer and closet echoing with something akin to grief. 

“Can I touch you?”

You nod, and immediately feel a warm hand touching yours, gently prying the cup from your clutches and setting it aside. He stands and ignores your protests as he tugs you to your feet. He wraps your arms around his waist and encircles your shoulders with his, pulling you into his chest and squeezing gently. You turn your head to the side so your cheek presses against the soft fabric of his shirt. The pressure of his chin sitting on top of your head feels overwhelming and wholly correct at the same time. Tears prick your eyes for the umpteenth time, and the comforting weight of Yoongi’s hug can’t keep them at bay.

“I just…” the words fade as you sniffle. “I just don’t know how to do this and I feel like I’m doing it all kinds of wrong.”

He hums, and his arms squeeze you a little tighter. Melting into the hug, you allow yourself to bury yourself face first in his soft tee and inhale deeply. His gentle scent of freshly laundered clothing with a hint of citrus is all it takes for your breath to turn into shorter, shuddering sobs, wracking your body.

You feel him gently rub the small of your back. Wave after wave of emotion floods your system, ping ponging between frustration and sadness and anger and fear. Each time you let yourself recognize and validate one thought, another sneaks in, bringing a new wave of tears.

One thought in particular stands as a concrete tower above the rest: you had been its architect for the past few months, placing stone after stone higher than the last until it was magnificent in its largess and painful in its stability. Ignoring it had become normal practice until now, when you looked up and realized you had built the tower around yourself.

You were choosing to leave. You chose to move thousands of miles from your family, and now you were choosing again to move hundreds of miles away from the family you had found here. There was no one to blame, no mystical forces of nature to shift the attention to. It was all just you.

A small noise breaks the paralyzing stillness of your thoughts, and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The sound blankets your spiral in a layer of sweet, comforting darkness. You grab at the tuneless melody like a rope and as the rumbling within his chest begins to center you back in your living room, safe in his arms again, you realize he was humming. You squeeze his waist a little tighter and as you release, his humming trickles off.

“If it’s any consolation, no one knows what they’re doing.” He whispers into your hair. “Especially when packing up a home they’ve lived in for a while. This place is stocked with things, yes, but also memories. You’ve grown and changed a whole lot since you moved in.”

“So then why am I leaving?” your voice cracks on the last word as you hiccup it into the void.

He shrugs, “We both know I can’t answer that for you. I do hope that whatever answer you decided on when you started this process is still true, and if it’s not, then this is just one choice. And you can make a new one in the future.”

You ‘hrumph’ back at him and take another deep breath.

Your breathing soon begins to match his small, rhythmic motions, inhaling and exhaling as your brain clears. You pull back from where you had smushed your face on his shirt, grimacing at the snot left on his shirt, and wiggling to escape his embrace in search of a tissue. He seems to have a different idea as his grip strengthens and you look up to see his concerned eyes searching for yours. Suddenly, a cat-like grin breaks out across his features and out of nowhere, the man laughs.

“How could someone look so beautiful after sobbing like the Titanic was sinking?”

You groan, for likely the fiftieth time today, and swat at his chest. With another smirk, he releases you from the hug. You shiver from the immediate loss of body heat and quickly look around the room for something resembling a tissue that had not been packed yet. You hear him clear his throat, and you look back to be met with a tissue dangling right in front of your face. 

“Thank you” your voice sounds small and gravely and you blot your eyes and nose before making eye contact with the spots on his shirt again. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry… your shirt…” your voice fades as you unconsciously reach out toward the stains, your only focus to assess the damage. He gently catches your wrist before your hand hits his chest, and places a butterfly light kiss on your knuckles.

“Don’t worry about it. This is my designated moving t-shirt, eligible for dust, stains, and tears – bonus points if you get all three in one go,” he winks, fluidly moving his hand from your wrist to your fingers, and spins you around in circles until you can’t help but give him a watery grin. Pulling you in for another hug, he gently squeezes you once more before letting go and heading toward the kitchen. You hear the squeak of the faucet before he reappears proudly brandishing your glasses now full of water. 

You accept the glass he holds out and let your eyes scan the pile of things in front of you. The boxes in the corner pull your attention again and you start to feel the overwhelm teeter you back over the edge. Taking a deep breath, you sip at the water and move to sit on the couch, seeking the comfort of your blanket once again.

“Let’s do something easy tonight, okay? No thoughts, just blankets.” 

You nod, and he plugs in the TV that you had moved into a corner for ‘safe keeping’ while you sold the table it stood on. He settles next to you on the couch and you spy a slight knowing smile on his face as he navigates to your favorite show, the one you started over to watch with him, and the one that makes you happy cry every time.

He slides his hand into yours and it doesn’t leave for the entirety of the first, second, or third episode you watch. Neither does he when you fall asleep on his shoulder.