To Clarify This Is About Some Irl Friends. - Tumblr Posts

the nature of kindness (poem)

midday coffee

on a run

ask if anybody wants some

what's your order, you may ask

I recite back their favourites with a laugh

oat milk latte for one

almond cappuccino, vanilla shot

long iced black, dark as night

a thank you, to my delight

but when is it asked in return

does anyone know what I default to?

does anyone know I take my coffee sweet

one sugar, or shot of hazelnut

strong espresso, chocolate top?

getting gifts is not so easy

but I remember what they like

this one likes purple, no fruit and nut

this one likes mint, and fancy shots

that one likes joke gifts with a bit of heart

that one likes books that are slightly dark

seeing things and think of them

trying my best to make them smile

or help them out on daunting dates

checking in, what can I do?

to make this hard thing easier

and help you get through?

do I really make it that hard

to receive kindness in return

is what surrounds me that difficult

to bypass to get the love I yearn?

am I really that high maintenance

or maybe just so worthless that they

put me last on their lists

an afterthought for the ages

because I make myself so small

because I don't want to be an inconvenience at all?

because I don't remember the last time

someone asked if I wanted coffee

or remembered my favourite flower

sent me good luck for something daunting

I'd be doing on that hour

the crowd clears, one by one

or even two by two

and left alone with no-one

well, that's the hard truth.

isn't it?

(I'm just too hard to be kind to.)