Trying To Follow My Therapist's Advice - Tumblr Posts

A Musing Monday 🎐

Today I'm musing on movement vs lack of movement. Right now there's a lot of movement around me, and yet im feeling stuck. Immobile.

One of my partners is on a family vacation, a close friend of mine is moving, another friend started a new job. I know people finishing their book drafts and starting journeys to learn drawing and going back to school and marching up to businesses to ask for jobs.. it's amazing. Its breathtaking. Achingly so.

I feel petrified in comparison. Im having moments of movement- a little inspiration, a flash of bravery, and idea of things that could be. But it feels like an engine that rumbles with the start of something only to immediately fade back to stillness. Sometimes a lack of movement means peace. Not here.

We dont expect that stutter in our protagonists, we dont see it much in books and media. Is it because of the way it itches? The way it reminds us of headaches that keep us from sleeping while also dragging us into feeling sleepy? Perhaps its just not interesting to show someone putting forth surges of effort only for nothing to come of it. Perhaps its too scary. Too reminiscent of the futality we run from.

This musing doesn't have a pretty bow on it, no positive note to soften- but I invite you to ponder on it. How does it sit in your chest? How are you defying it or being defined by it? How would you write about it? How can a protagonist be defined by the way they can't move when they're trying to?