Tune-yards - Tumblr Posts

Today was my birthday and I turned 30 and it’s weird to think about how big of a deal it is when it might not actually be. The correlation between how paralyzing things are and the length of time one thinks about them.

How the world is still here, and I’m still doing my flat-character wandering around on it, holding onto those things that I struggled dealing with for the first two decades of my life and realizing that three decades is too long. How I can’t keep alternating between being proud of where I am and what I’ve accomplished, and feeling guilty about my current situation and what I haven’t figured out yet. Living like I’m borrowing this sack of flesh and bones that could have been used by someone with more fervor in their heart, more calluses on their hands. Like I can’t scuff this borrowed body because it needs to be returned.

I had a slight life-upend situation recently – the specifics are not important, but suffice it to say that a lot of it was, I think, my fault – and this is where I either choose to see this as an opportunity with a springboard more far-reaching and stable than I’ve ever had, or see this as another failed attempt at trying to try and give up. The latter can’t be anymore. It just can’t. All that stuff about living for me, and doing for myself what I need to do for myself – it needs to be creed now.

To take mine without denigrating or compromising others. To live life with less humoring, but more humor. To accept that I can let go of things and live lighter and still have a weight and a space on this planet to be respected, and proud, and happy. And to experience those perfect-world-moments like I used to experience them. And to take those flash moments and let myself believe that the world can still be beautiful, and perfect, and mine.

This looked fun.

Rules: Spell your url with song titles and tag as many people as there are letters. I barely know anyone on here as I'm new, so anyone is welcome to join. 🤗

madamemidnight

• M - Monument - The Inevitable End Version ~ Röyksopp & Robyn

• A - Adia ~ Sarah McLachlan

• D - Dirty ~ Grandson

• A - Another Weekend ~ Ariel Pink

• M - My World ~ Eivør

• E - Erase/Rewind ~ The Cardigans

• M - Moonlight Serenade ~ Glenn Miller

• I - Isobel ~ Björk

• D - Digging My Potato ~ SEATBELTS

• N - Never Quite Right - Kraków Loves Adana

• I - Insomnia ~ Faithless

• G - Gangsta ~ Tune-Yards

• H - Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G Minor - Johannes Brahms

• T - Take Five ~ The Dave Brubeck Quartet