Valintinesday - Tumblr Posts
Don't Break my Heart
My first Blooming panic fic, I was inspired, writing block cured (for now)
Quest x GN!Reader
Quest takes reader out for valentine's day, trying to be sweet but ends up bringing reader's insecurities out at full force.
2.5k words
Trigger warning: Reader bulling themselves, Quest fear of being feared( that's a weird phrase), breaking down in front of people
Let me know if I missed a trigger or if you spot any spelling mistakes.
Feedback is encouraged!!
Masterlist
You currently sat across Quest. He had reserved a table at a nice restaurant, which was packed for valentines day. You felt a little selfish for not doing as much as your boyfriend. It's not like you were unprepared, you knew it was coming up but valentines day always left a bad taste in your mouth. You always went all out for your valentines, and it always went underappreciated, so you decided to stop celebrating valentines unless your partner instigated it. You didn't calculate it would be a surprise and here you are being spoiled and you have nothing in return. You looked into Quest’s eyes, they looked so perfect, so bright, so pure, and the memories of every other February 14th ruined the moment. All the rejections, all the times you were a bet, the days you were stood up in the rain, the fights. The nights you waited with anticipation for something as simple as a flower, only to be yelled at, belittled for wanting to celebrate a fake capitalist holiday. You repeat to yourself what you've been told over and over. That you're worthless, unlovable, unworthy of love, that you're not enough. You tell yourself not to fall for this, that it's all a lie, just like last time, just like always.
"Angel?"
That voice, it breaks your thoughts. Its Quests, you know that, something about his voice, the name he used, the way he sounds worried as if he cared as if he knew what was going on in your head. All of it made you think, just for a second, that everyone else was wrong, that those little voices were wrong.
"You ok? If this is too much we can leave."
He makes move to wave over the waiter, but you interject
"I’m fine Quest, this is perfect, I was just in my head"
Lowering his hand he reaches over to take yours
"You sure?"
You smile, looking into his eyes
"Never been more sure of anything"
The two of you got lost in each other's eyes, you both knew your words were not just about the restaurant.
"Did you need something, sir?"
The waiter nervously asked, not wanting to disturb your moment but also needing to do their job. Quest keeps his eyes on you, make sure one last time that you truly want to stay. Then turning to the waiter.
"Sorry about that, I know you're packed but would it be fine if we ordered now?"
"That’s perfectly fine sir."
You and Quest order and eat. The night is filled with cheesy moments, feeding each other, kisses, shared desert, longing gazes. It was almost too much, but as soon as you started to feel overwhelmed it was over, mostly. Quest was walking you home, hand and hand, you started to relax, recovering from being overfilled with all the cheesiness of the night, still fighting those thoughts from the beginning of the night. While walking Quest takes note of how many people cross the road to avoid him, not wanting to have his night ruined by outsiders he decides to ignore them. He turns to look at you, he takes the peaceful walk to admire his angel, the way they held onto him like he was safe, someone who would never hurt you, you cling to him like he was your protector. He loved it, loved you, he had to fight himself to not blurt it out loud, you were so focused and he just needed to wait a little longer.
Arriving at the door of your apartment, ready to get in and finally take a breath. You loved tonight, but you'd never felt this spoiled? Loved? You just wanted to be able to relax and process everything. So opening the door, after kissing Quest goodnight you were surprised to see candles and flower petals littering your apartment. You can feel the presence of Quest behind you. You know he is waiting for a reaction, you want to give him a good one but you can't hold it anymore as you let out a sob, you try to catch it but it's too late. Quest rushes in front of you, he checks to see if anything is physically wrong, his arms and eyes frantically rooming your body
"What's wrong? Angel? Are you ok?"
He sounds so concerned, so scared, you can't lie to him
"It- it doesn't make sense-"
You struggle to say more. Quest straightens up and pulls you into his chest, realizing his worry wasn't helping. He rubs your back and whispers to you
"Shh it's okay, breath takes your time."
You can hear his heart racing, you want it to calm you but it only makes you realize how nervous Quest is now. You refuse to make him wait, blurting out what you feel, not a thing of the wording
"I'm so scared."
He continued to rub your back
"Of what angel? Please tell me. I want to help?"
Sobbing out your answer, once again not think normally
"Of you. I'm scared of you."
As soon as the syllabus hits his ears he pulls away from you, his heart dropping from his chest, he swears he hears the thud it makes as it hits your floor. He questioned every moment you were ever close to him. Wondering if you were ever uncomfortable but too scared to tell him. Were you uncomfortable on the walk here? Did you want to cross the road and run away from him like everyone else? He takes multiple steps backward, almost tripping over himself, trying to protect you from himself. He had to protect you, even if it was from himself. He looks at himself, was he always this big, scary, threatening? Was he so desperate for your love that he missed all the hints that you hated him, that you were afraid of him? Quest does his best to shove his thoughts down, he's still here, in your apartment, your probably terrified and he can’t stop thinking about himself, he labels himself as selfish before speaking.
"Ang- I mean- I’m sorry. I never wanted to scare you. I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner- I’ll leave."
Even though he says those words he stays still, waiting for you to move from the doorway, he doesn't want to harm you anymore so he keeps his distance.
You had watched as Quest stumbled back, you were so worried, you plagued your mind for a reason he’d react this way. Was it something you did, something you said? You quickly realize what you said, and why it affected him this way. You wanted to fix this but he looked so panicked, you didn't know what to do, the words wouldn't come out and you felt approaching him would only make it worse. Then he spoke, you felt the tears drip from your eyes at his words. You knew about his past but you knew him for him, you knew he'd never hurt you. It was so obvious to you that he was safe that you forgot about his insecurities, or how others perceive him. Images of people avoiding him flash in your mind, moments where strangers asked if you were endangered, you never thought much of it, but to him, it was the very thing preventing him from going any further in your relationship. While you connect all the pieces in your head you let out a quiet cry.
"No"
Quest heard the tiny plead, his thought froze will he waited for you to say more, not expecting what happens next
You plan your next words out carefully, unlike before, and you take all the anger you had for anyone who ever looked at Quest with scared eyes and you yell, letting all that anger out in your explanation.
"NO- I’m not scared of you, physically- I’m"
You stumble over your words as you take a deep breathe, your voice back to a whisper
"I'm scared you'll break my heart."
You pause waiting to see if Quest will react. When he doesn't you start ramble, wanting to make it crystal clear what you mean. You cry through it all.
"I'm afraid that you using me, that I’m a joke, that eventually I’ll find out the server all placed their bets on how long I'll believe that you like me, care for me. I’m scared that you’re like every other person who ever claimed to love me, because, because..."
You start to yell again
"Because it doesn't make sense. Why would you like me? Look at me, I’m a joke, I’m worthless, I’m unlovable, and yet here you are. You, who is so amazing, you who has such an optimistic look on life, who has that outlook even though you've seen and dealt with things you never deserved. Why would you be here? It already hurts so much to think about and you haven't even revealed the truth. Please- please get it over with- just tell me the truth."
Your voice cracks so much it hurts, your legs struggle to hold you up.
Quest moves quickly as he sees your body start to give up, catching you, holding you tight against him. When he heard that first sentence he felt a wave of relief, he knew it was true. He had heard it in your voice, the honesty behind what you were saying, he heard the desperation of needing him to understand, and he did, with such honesty. His relief was short-lived as you continued, as he watched and listened to you say such horrible things. He understood that your beliefs weren't about him, but more about your past experiences, about how idiots, like society boys, treated you. He wants to change that, show you it is not true, show you that you can be loved, that you deserve just as much love as everyone else, he wants to do what you've done for him. When he watched your body start to give up he rushed to hold you, griping your body tighter than ever before. Quest holds you with all his might as he organizes his thoughts, taking in a shaky breath before speaking, before telling you what you need to hear, the truth.
"Angel? I'll tell you the truth but first I need you to accept that you're not any of those things anyone from your past has called you."
When you don't reply Quest pushes a little harder
"Say it 'I’m not worthless, I’m lovable and I deserve love'"
You stay quiet
"Please angel?"
His voice cares so much emotion with those two words, so you try
"I’m- I'm not worthless"
"There you go."
"I am lovable?"
"It not a question.{"
"I am lovable."
"And?"
"And I deserve love."
Quest pulls you out from his chest enough that he can kiss your forehead
"Good job angel. Now let me tell you how I feel about you."
He rests his forehead against yours, locking eyes as he begins
"You are not a bet or a conquest, I'm not with you for money or pity or any other crazy thought in your head, and the same goes for the server, we care about you. And I- I love you. I love the way I feel around you, I love the way you make me feel like I'm a safe person over a dangerous one, I love the way you make me forget the negative connotations that come with my size. I love the way you don't try and fix me. I love how you accept and see me more than anyone else."
"You love me?"
"Yes, I'm so in love with you it's crazy."
There's silence, Quest’s mind races again. What if they are scared of me and feel threatened to say it back without meaning it
"You don't have to say it back though, I understand that you might need time, and i-"
"I love you"
You whisper, tears streaming down your face, but a smile on your lips. He freezes and your mind races with the possibility that this was what he wanted that, that he was going to pull away, start laughing at how gullible you are
"Are you lying?"
"Never, never to you. I love you"
I love you
I love you
The two of you repeat the three simple words back to each other until Quest’s lips cut you off as he holds your head against his, kissing you with all the love he has for you. When you pull away the two of you laugh with each other. After a while, the two of you settle on the couch. You lay on Quest chest, relaxing to his heartbeat as the two of you talk about the day .
"Sorry I ruined everything."
"You ruined nothing, I still gotta say what I wanted."
"What was that?"
You asked, oblivious
"That I love you"
"Oh…right."
You blush as he said it again. He laughs at your reaction.
"Oh shush, I love you too, I've loved you for so long, and yet you get to have all the fun teasing me."
"Oh, and how long have you loved me?
You go silent before whispering
"8 months"
"What?! 8 months, what took you so long, I mean I've loved you for just as long but-"
"I was scared"
Quest stops speaking and lets you talk
"Just like today, I was afraid that as soon as I said it, you would start laughing and .. well y’know..."
Quest almost can't believe how long you've felt like this. He wishes he could do more, but to you, this was enough
"I’m not like anyone you've been with, I'm not a blind idiot."
You laugh at his remark
"I care and love you, and will always appreciate the little things you do for me."
He kissed the top of your head. The two of you basked in the silence as you worked up the courage to speak again.
"You know, I know you’re not like them, I never thought that you were, I know your different, better, it was just, I've never had this, a person who shows they care and-"
Your rambling is cut off by your loving boyfriend
"I know angel, I get it."
"And- I'm not scared of you, I never was, I know I said this but I feel awful I said that I couldn’t stand the way you moved away, or the way you looked at yourself, I feel so bad and I just- I wasn't scared of you, I was scared of losing you and even more of my dignity. I'll never be scared of you."
You look into Quest's eyes as you apologize, he doesn't have to say anything, you can see the love and forgiveness in his eyes as you lean in for a kiss. When you pull away the words fall from your lips.
"I love you."
"I know."
You lightly hit Quest on his chest as he laughs at your reaction.
"I love you too"
Hope you enjoyed it!! Thanks for reading it! Reblogging is always appreciated!!!
Women, this Valentine's day make sure to get your man something! Men hardly ever get gifts, especially nice things like flowers. Make his day by showing your love like he shows you his. That is all
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