We're Also Dealing With The Affects Of A Hurricane So Jfsdafklasd; Here's Hoping! - Tumblr Posts
feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!
“Hell is a teenage girl.”
“I guess I’m not exactly perfect, myself.”
“I recommend you shut the fuck up!”
“I used to be normal.”
“I hate this fucking song.”
“I promised [Name] I would hang out with him tonight.”
“Wear something cute, okay?”
“Those jeans are hella low, I can almost see your front butt.”
“Quit tamponing yourself and get down here!”
“You always do what [Name] tells you to do.”
“You’re totally jello.”
“You’re lime-green jello and you can’t even admit it to yourself.”
“Hey, [Name], you look really pretty.”
“You play your instruments really…super good.”
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“I’ll just play Hello Titty with the bartender.”
“That’s my best friend that you’re talking about.”
“I had to stay home the next day and sit on a frozen bag of peas.”
“He was skinny and twisted and evil like this tree I saw when I was a kid.”
“Maybe I’m going crazy.”
“You do have a tendency to overreact.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with you, aside from the obvious surface flaws?”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t die.”
“I’m crazy sorry about your profound loss.”
“You are crying about [Name], right?”
“You know when you kiss a boy for the first time, and it feels like your entire body is on vibrate?”
“She’s just staring out the window like a zombie mannequin robot statue.”
“Well, the bad luck’s gotta be over, right?”
“I mean, it can’t get any worse, right? It can’t.”
“No offense, but you look really tired.”
“Is everything okay?”
“My skin is breaking out and my hair is dull and lifeless.”
“PMS isn’t real, [Name], it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem crazy.”
“Don’t look at me like that!”
“Um, I actually wanted to ask you something.”
“You wanna know if I’ll go out with you?”
“Well, we’ve been having a lot of fun in class, you and I, and thought maybe you’d like to go see a movie or something.”
“I’m used to boys asking me out, [Name].”
“Why don’t you just come by my place tonight?”
“It’s about this girl who’s, like, half-sushi.”
“So, are you gonna come over tonight?”
“I went to [Location] and picked up more condoms, so—”
“This isn’t really your house, is it?”
“Do you even know my last name?”
“I thought boys like you were really into vermin and death and shit.”
“But we always share your bed when we have slumber parties…”
“I’m not gonna bite you.”
“Is that my [Logo/Brand] t-shirt?”
“What the fuck is happening?!”
“I have never heard you drop the F-bomb before!”
“What do you want from me?”
“Best friends don’t keep secrets, right?”
“They’re basically like agents of Satan with really awesome haircuts.”
“I dunno if we should go through with this.”
“They did go all Benihana on my ass with that knife and it should’ve killed me, and it should’ve killed me but for some reason it didn’t.”
“Anyway, I don’t really remember what happened after that, I just know that I woke up and I found my way back to you.”
“I mean, I’m a really good friend, but I was just so hungry…”
“We’re gonna sort all this out, okay?”
“It’s like some X-Men shit, right?”
“Y’know, [Name] maybe you should talk to somebody about all these…disturbing thoughts that you’re having…”
“I think he may be having second thoughts about you.”
“We can play boyfriend-girlfriend like we used to.”
“You’re breaking up with me?”
“I just need to show you something.”
“You’re acting really fucked up.”
“[Name], I think you need help.”
“Oh my god, you don’t believe me.”
“It’s not safe for us to be together right now.”
“Didn’t you hear me calling your name?”
“I just can’t believe that she would mess with your head like this.”
“I care about you so much, [Name].”
“[Name] didn’t deserve a boy like you.”
“Oh, you’re so salty.”
“I feel so empty.”
“Why don’t you just come here and kiss me again?”
“God, do you have to undermine everything that I do?”
“You are such a player-hater.”
“Wow, nice insult Hannah Montana.”
“You were never a good friend.”
“You could have anybody that you want, [Name].”
“I go both ways.”
“I think I already died before you got here, but I woke up when I heard your voice.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“You look totally hot in that dress.”
“Oh, you’re clearly delirious.”
“You killed my fucking boyfriend, you goddamn monster!”
“You dumb bitch!”
“Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot?”
“God, you’re butch.”
“I’m a different person now.”
“You just might get lucky for once in your miserable life.”