Would Stub His Toe And Curse In Russian - Tumblr Posts
Hey babes! How has your day been?
I read something a bit recently where a character slips into their native tongue when they're having sex, and I was wondering what language you think L would talk in when he's too flustered to translate in his head and what he would say tp you
Anyways thank you for sharing your amazing writing! I haven't stopped thinking about your drunk L oneshot, so thank you so much for posting it!
I am so happy someone asked, honestly. I could and might just write a headcanon regarding the specifics of Drunk L but I’ve been having a lot of writers block recently so it was a lot of fun. Apologies in advance for anyone who has/does/will ever speak Japanese, French/Italian, or Russian; I don’t know a single lick of any of those languages so this piece was carried by Google translate and websites claiming to know phrases in those languages. Also, there’s sex mention in this one, just FYI.
Really depends. Probably one of the first questions he’s asking early in a relationship is whether you speak more than one language, and if you do he will not use that one. If you do not speak a language other than English, it depends on how flustered he is. In level of severity it goes Japanese, French, Russian, with Russian being the most severe.
These are not hard and fast— there is bleeding over between languages because duh— but this is how it usually goes:
Japanese: Really nothing important; it’s most likely just an observation that really has nothing to do with the task at hand but is just a thing that he noticed. Typically how it goes is he’ll say something in Japanese and then say some wild, out of nowhere thing that then turns out to be true. Word of advice: if he is totally on board with an activity, says something in Japanese, and then is suddenly not on board with that activity and is quietly trying to remove you from that activity, let him remove you two from the activity; there is a reason that has nothing to do with his enjoyment of the activity that you guys shouldn’t do that thing.
Example: one time the two of you were watching a stupid home renovation TV show hosted by a married couple. In the middle of a conversation regarding the aesthetic merit of white on white, he mumbled, “彼女は彼の視線に会っていない,” around his drink. When asked what he said, instead of telling you, he claimed that the seemingly happy couple was going to be divorced by the end of the year. He went on to predict that the man would still be in love with her years into the future but the woman would have lost all interest by then and would ask to break it off. Sure enough, two months later, the tabloids were reporting on their totally not at all expected break up.
French (+ Italian but he is no longer fluent): this has something to do with you. You can’t prove it because you don’t speak French or Italian, but it 100% has something to do with you. This is going to be your mushy shit, the “you’re so beautiful”s and the “I love you so much”s. This is also where most snide remarks and insults are going to stay; if he’s looking at someone else and he’s speaking French, odds are whatever he’s saying isn’t particularly kind. Once and a while he’ll grumble out a “Vaffanculo a chi t'è morto” at the TV or at a particularly ridiculous lie or slight, but you’ll never hear him say anything longer than a sentence in Italian. This also qualifies for any sort of rant; if he’s talking for a long time in French he’s probably not thrilled about whatever he’s talking about (usually this something regarding general police incompetence on a case he’s working on, the details of which you are not allowed to know.)
Example: The two of you watched a movie together on the couch, his head laid on your lap and your fingers gently scratching his scalp. You were talking about something you noticed— an actor you liked, some discrepancy in the script— when his hand found your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Tu es un ange. Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait pour te mériter?” When you asked him what he asked, he apologized and claimed it was something to do with the topic at hand, even though you could tell from his tone that he was lying.
Russian: Incredible shock/pain/sex stuff. If he’s having an issue with a word, it’s probably an issue of translating a Russian word to English, which happens almost never in his professional life but at least once a week when in your company. If he is legitimately having some sort of panic, he’s communicating that in Russian. If he is fucking you and he’s out of it to the point of not being able to talk properly, it’s in Russian. If something catches him completely off guard and he doesn’t know how to respond or react, it’s in Russian.
Example: Once, after a particularly long period away from you (about 3 months with little contact) he came back rattled. You left him morning after he arrived to go pick drinks up (coffee, tea, what have you) without telling him. You came back, holding your drinks, when you saw your boyfriend digging through a duffel bag up of work stuff. He looked up at you, blinked once, and let his eyes close, slumping over the bag. “Где ты был?” His words came out harshly, shakily, and quietly. “ты забыл свой телефон. а если бы ты поранился?” After being told where you had gone and reassuring him that nothing happened, he calmed down.