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Announcement

Summary: Your pregnancy announcement to Spencer doesn’t go how you had always planned.

Tags: Pregnancy announcement, established relationship (implied marriage), f!reader, bittersweet feelings, slightly fluff, mostly sad but not angst.

*not a happy ending, short fic - in my head all morning so had to write! Constructive criticism and thoughts always welcome!

“Congratulations! It looks like you’re actually around 9 weeks pregnant. It’s a wonder you couldn’t tell before now, Mrs. Reid”.

You could hear what the doctor was saying, but you hadn’t yet grasped the meaning behind the words, moving to look at the screen she had turned towards you. She hadn’t told you what she was checking for, just that your blood work had come back and she needed to verify something. This being the reason hadn’t even crossed your mind.

Pregnant. 9 weeks. Truthfully, you could tell her the exact day of conception, although you are still just silently staring at the screen in wonder.

Your doctor seems to understand that you need time to process the words, even if she knows you’ve been trying for over a year. She hands you copies of your first sonogram and information that you’re sure your husband has already gathered.

You hadn’t even gone to the doctor because you’d been feeling unwell - it was just an annual check up. You hated them, had always felt they were a waste of time, but Spencer always insisted.

Spencer.

You needed to tell him. Right now. You two had been trying for so long, and nothing had seemed to work. Of course the moment you two agree to stop trying, to just be natural, it happens. Just like Spencer had said it would. It was almost annoying that he was always right, and you could hear his voice in your head telling you the statistics like he had that day.

You two had agreed long ago that when you found out, if he wasn’t with you, that you wouldn’t do anything crazy to try to tell him. Instead, you left the doctor’s office in a daze, driving to the bakery Spencer loved but never had time to get to. You picked up his favorite sandwich and even got a pastry for yourself, before driving to see him.

Your mind wandered on the drive, barely paying attention to the traffic around you. It didn’t matter to either of you what gender your unborn child would be - you’d already picked out names. Godparents had been easily decided - Luke Alvez and Emily Prentiss being the most obvious of choices.

Thinking of that, your mind replays the day Spencer had sheepishly come back home when you two had first started trying, carrying a bag from a store you’d never heard of.

He revealed that he had been at the bookstore and saw something in a store window that he had to buy, his cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

You remember laughing loudly and how much your cheeks had hurt from your wide smile, claiming the three shirts he had purchased were perfect. Godparent shirts for Luke and Emily, and one that said “Favorite Aunt” for Penelope.

At first, when you two had discussed godparents, you’d been slightly worried on how you’d choose a godmother - not knowing how you could possibly pick between Penelope or Emily. But Spencer had said that Penelope was a sister he had never gotten to have, saying that her title would be Auntie P. to however many children you two had.

You’d have to take the shirts with you next month to Rossi’s house mansion. Spencer had gone back to the store and bought ridiculous shirts for every member of the team, even one for Hotch, in case he ever saw him again. You wondered if Rossi would like his “grandpa” shirt, or if he’d complain that he wasn’t old enough for that title. (Even though he had an actual grandchild).

Shaking your head from your thoughts, you park, taking a deep breath and grabbing the food. Slowly, you exit your car, meandering to where you know Spencer will be.

As you stand in front of him though, you find the words are stuck in your throat. You sit down, forcing yourself to breathe as you open your mouth.

“Hey love. I brought your favorite food! Um, guess what? I’m sure you already know - you probably knew before me. We’re pregnant, Spencer! Well, I’m pregnant… but I’ve made you a dad! 9 weeks - the last time…” you trailed off, blinking back tears.

“You were right, sweetheart. Like always. I’m- I’m so sorry, that it happened too late. But, well, it’s okay, right? Now I’ll always have a piece of you with me. I love you, Spencer Reid.”

You can’t stop the tears from streaming down your face now, but you continue to say every thought that’s been in your head since you got the news as you wait for his response.

A response you know you’ll never get.

After all, the saying has always been “silent as the grave”, and the 8 week old headstone that marks where Spencer lies does not reply.