YES The Snails Have Escaped The Server!!! - Tumblr Posts

🐌 Snergil AU was brought to life by @astronomiaa & filled with light and laughter by @ladythespera @umbran-legacy @nebulaegem @katroman @ladynamida & yours truly. I may or may not have said I would let this escape into the wild when a certain piece of fanart were to be crossposted to Tumblr, sooo… There is a complex backstory for this of course, but it can be (very crudely) oversimplified by saying: Vergil gets replaced by a snail with a wig and toothpick katana - and he is not amused.

In the ruins of Snortuna - (a smashed up garden gnome on the neighbouring front lawn) - Vergil came across the near-lifeless remains of Snante, no longer salamander, no longer snail, merely a starving shadow of his former self, his skin cracking and almost dried out. He had first intended to destroy Snortuna and vent out his anger on the hideous gnome that had always bothered him whenever he came back home from doing grocery shopping. But as he remembered Dante and Nero and all of his almost-friends taking Snergil’s side over and over again, to the point that they even defended the vile creature as it ever so slowly stabbed his beloved pet salamander to death, painstakingly, agonizingly (although he couldn’t help but wonder why Dantalamander with his superior speed had lost in the first place), he blinked away a few stray wet drops clinging to his eyelashes - hewasnotcryinghewasnotcryinghewasnot - and through the hazy fog of lingering sadness his gaze fell upon Snante - and Vergil saw in him more than just a decrepit snail on its deathbed. He saw hurt and suffering, a loneliness that reflected his own. So he bent down and picked up Snante and despite himself he cradled the almost lifeless creature close to his chest. “You,” Vergil murmured through the thickness in his throat as tender fingers emerged from his newly restored Slutty Gloves™️, “you get it.”

*

It must have been his recent loss - Dantalamander’s absence still a fresh wound in his newfound heart - that made him cling to this weakling, or maybe he had sensed beneath its pathetic exterior the familiar fire of wrath and spite. As he went home that evening, his resolve hardened to face his family’s betrayal with iron will and relentless force - (for they did not know better, the vile creature stealing his name must have bewitched them, it must be so, they could not have forsakened him again, they couldn’t!) - he held the dying snail in his sheltering hands. A crumb of pizza crust seemed to restore some spirit to its tortured body, and slice of pepperoni some semblance of coherence to its restless mind. But it was not until the snail had tasted the molten cheese upon its tiny teeth that it began to move, turning its eyes from left to right and blinking through the lingering fatigue. As Snante gazed upon the grim face of his Saviour, he felt himself grow irate. Puny human! How dared it touch him with its filthy fingers! Enraged, he sunk his teeth into an exposed fingertip, nibbling away at skin that tasted so deliciously, deliciously of grease and tomato sauce. Unbidden, Vergil felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips, but catching Dante’s gaze from across the room, he schooled his expression to one of calm and collectedness within the blink of an eye. Still, as his twin settled back in his chair and put the magazine he was reading back into its place as cozy head blanket, Vergil allowed a thought to enter his mind, albeit reluctantly, as the snail tickled his fingertips. ‘I knew at least you’d like me, Snante.’

Come and get your food dear book club.