Yoongi Boyfriend Material - Tumblr Posts
bts in their bridgerton era?
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Homecoming
Yoongi x fem!Reader
A/n: Tried writing something for the first time based on this prompt. Let me know your opinions.
Warnings: Angst, non-idol au, first love, second chance trope, fluffy ending, mentions of sex, no smut
Word count: 1.5k
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The cold winter air cuts through my thoughts like a newly sharpened knife and it takes everything in me to not turn back and run to... where do I run back? I just walked away from the only home I've ever known, only to realise it was all in my head.
I walk along the brightly lit festival-ready Manhattan streets. Fairy lights turn into hazy lines across my eyes as I feel the sting from the tears forming at the back of my eyes. I will not cry, not about this... not about him. Funny how life comes full circle, almost an entire decade ago I walked back from school refusing to shed a tear about the boy who shredded my heart into a million pieces and here I am, all the way across the world and a decade's worth of pain to my name, still walking back to an empty house with tears threatening to fall... all because of him, again.
Exhaling a deep breath, as if to tell myself I have breathed out the pain, I walk with more speed. Fumbling with the keys at the door to the house I refuse to call home. My legs give out the second the door locks behind me as I drop to the floor by the foyer, head on my knees, too many thoughts and emotions floating around.
After what feels like a lifetime of staying in that state I hear the door's locks turn around, and my head drops even further into my knees as I already know who is on the other side. I stay there, crouched down with my head bent, clenching my fists, as I hear the soft thuds of his footsteps. I stay still as I feel him crouch down next to me, knees lightly brushing each other.
"Just please talk to me...please" I hear his voice cracking and once again it feels like I'm being punished for giving my heart to him.
"What do you want me to say" It comes out more bitter than my heart intended and I can feel him flinch at my tone. Do not look at him, it will make things worse. "I don't know what I did wrong... I am trying to understand but I don't know and now-" he exhales a shaky breath, out of the corner of my eyes I see him rub his palms on his knees. "Now I feel like I'm losing you." My heart gives out for a second and I look up to see his tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes, his long black hair falling on his face, he looks wan and sweating in the middle of December.
"You're not losing me, I was never yours to be lost." My voice sounds alien to me as the words come out. The look on his face, as he takes my words in, feels like a dozen swords were stabbed right through me repeatedly. He looks distraught, scared and everything I am sure is mirrored in my own face.
"What do you mean by that, of course, you are mine. You are the only thing that's ever been mine" He pleads, tears rolling down his eyes as he reaches to hold my hands.
I move slightly away, "Please... You couldn't even tell our friends we are together. But then what are we really? We met two years back after all those years, started 'afresh' and ended up best friends who accidentally slept together once... that's all right. It was purely physical... at least admit that dammit!" I know I am being brutal, but I cannot be the one falling alone anymore. He is at a loss for words and I continue with a bitter laugh, "I've been asking for your acknowledgement since we were sixteen. Last time you let me go so fast... for what? because you wanted to look 'cool'. You came back and said you wanted to be friends... that night, you made out with me and told me we'd be fine no matter what. You promised not to hurt me again... but you never told me what we are. And then we slept together and you disappeared on me for two whole weeks... do you have any idea how fucked up that is. I don't think you even thought about it. You always escape when this arrangement became slightly complicated for you because I acknowledged my feelings and you couldn't deal with that. Actually, I was so sure you'll go running away the first chance you get... I kept myself in check this whole time just to not scare you away, but when it came out in a moment of passion you left me... without a single fucking word- only to return two weeks later for the school reunion. You were so fucking busy you couldn't even call me but today I find out you helped plan a part of that shindig... the cherry on the cake was when you pretended as if we haven't practically been living together for a whole year and you just screwed me and ran away... but of course, other people always mattered more to you right- back at highschool and now...."
By now the traitorous tears are streaming so fast down my cheeks, burning my face up. I don't even have the energy to reach and wipe them away. He puts his head down in defeat, and I see more tears fall down his cheeks too. He slowly wipes them away
"I know I messed up... I'm sorry" he sounds so little I almost miss it. I cannot get in myself to accept the apology but I hold myself back because I'm done explaining myself, it is high time he does it. Taking my silence as approval, he continues "You are right you know... about me being a coward who can't accept what this is." He lets a bitter deep chuckle, his face reeking hatred for himself.
"This is so messed up because I finally found the answer..." He looks at me eyes full of hope, a bitter smile still spread along his lips and my stomach flips on itself at the first ray of hope. I need to remind myself that the answer could be the end of us too. I just gulp down the bile rising to my mouth and look at him, this time he reaches to hold my hands in his and I let him- too tired for this fight.
"I ran away the other night, I got scared... scared that I messed up the only thing that was going right in my life. I wanted to do everything right this time around. You have no clue how much I hated myself for letting you go the last time around, high school was messed up." I let out a sarcastic chuckle, my heart still beating in my ears and my stomach tumbling with anxiety. He holds my fingers delicately as if it will break if he holds on tighter.
"I actually went home the next day-" my eyebrows shoot up at the new information, "- I was there last week, to talk to my parents. That night when we... after you went to sleep, I got a call from my mom saying she wants me to get settled- in a typical arranged marriage, she was being serious enough that she had already set up a blind date with someone she knew. I freaked out... and went to have a talk with my parents."
"That still doesn't explain the radio silence I received..." I am ashamed at how little my own voice sounds, there's so much new information spinning in my head and the anxiety keeps getting worse by the minute. "Yeah that was stupid on my part, I was very confused. I left and got on the first plane home, all through the plane I wasn't even sure what I was going home to do. I spent the entire 14-hour flight trying to understand everything and it clicked only as I reached home... I don't want anyone else but you. I realised I went there in that hurry only to convince my parents about you.."
He finally releases a breath after saying all that in go, my head is still spinning but I look at him with wide eyes, more tears threatening to fall down- this time with a glimmer of happiness. I was still unsure of how this will end and I hear myself say, "Andd..?"
He holds my hands tighter, clearing his throat before continuing, "And they eventually agreed. After 3 very hard and long sleepless days. I did not want to text you until I knew what I was doing for sure. When I did try to text you the day I was leaving to come back home... you had apparently blocked me.." It's my turn to look guilty, as my stomach does happy flips and I feel my heartbeat everywhere.
"I don't really blame you, from your point of view it made sense. When I couldn't reach you even after coming back, I helped plan the reunion in hopes you will be there. I hope that I can talk to you... make you mine officially..." At this point, I am sure my heart has given out, and it is getting harder to hide the smile creeping up my face, so I bite down hard on my lower lips. Involuntarily my fingers wrap around his, holding on for dear life.
"What are you trying to say... I'm tired of all this back and forth" I say, my nerves reaching new levels of high and hopes high up to the sky.
He moves close enough that there is only an inch between our faces and I try to protest but it gets lost in my nerves when he uses one of his hands to pull me on his waist and I see how sincere and scared his eyes look. I lower my face unable to manage all the emotions raising up my gut and he uses his other hand to make me face him again.
"I am sorry for being a dick, now and then. But this time... I am not letting you go. I waited 8 years in agony to meet you again, and another year having you so close to me yet out of reach. So... this is me saying I love you, with all my heart and soul. This is it for me... you're it. I love you and I'm never letting you go again."
By now my face is entirely wet and I'm sobbing loudly as he reaches to wipe my tears away with his thumbs. I just lay my head on his shoulder and cry for what feels like a good half an hour. He keeps patting my head and lets me cry. Eventually, I gather myself and wipe my tears and look at him, he smiles at me earnestly.
"Well... are you going to say it back or ?" He asks and although his lips are in a smirk I can see the fear behind his eyes. I smile myself and reach to hold his face in my hands before leaning in and closing the distance between us.
We've shared a couple of kisses before- some passionate, mostly hesitant; but this time it is reassuring. This is the kiss of love, of comfort and it is the kind of kiss that feels like home.
"You really are not gonna say the words anytime soon are you?" he asks in between the kisses. I look at him in thought for a minute before shaking my head in negative defiantly.
"You are going to have to work hard for it lover boy."
oof ma man❤️❤️
mint yoongi is my religion !!
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random debut yoongi icons 🕸️
this era lives in my head 24/7
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★ . . . yoonkook 🤘🏻 ?
yoongi + jungkook packs 𓃠
