You Dont Love Me - Tumblr Posts

Guys has anyone layered all the back cover texts together yet

even if i’m not a fan of txt, i really loved reading this, bibi! ❤️ the ending broke my heart so much but i still loved it! thanks for writing it ❤️

YOU DON’T LOVE ME.

summary. maybe tonight you are finally giving up on soobin.

⇢ idol! soobin x gn! reader. L2E, angst. warnings: mentions of drinking alcohol, fighting, being in an unstable relationship, cussing. NOT EDITED.

a / n : first writing i make for txt omg, let’s see how this goes 🤍

“Where were you?” It’s the first thing Soobin hears seconds after crossing the entrance to his own room. There’s a dim light, kindly provided by the overused nightlight he so much cherishes and has told you not once, but a hundred of times, not to turn on, because it’s on its last days and he wants to keep it in one piece, with the original bub and such.

Clenching his fist, Soobin takes three steps in and purposely drags his feet across the rug on his floor, feeling the heat underneath his skin burn and sting a bit in order to wake himself up just so he can complain about the nightlight, but then you turn around. Your figure rolls from one opposite end of the bed to the medium sized bed to the other, and suddenly you are pushing your knuckles down the mattress just to support yourself up with all your strength.

No sweetly tinted light can compare to the raging madness burning in your eyes once you connect glances. Soobin gulps, having realized that tonight you wouldn’t fall into your usual petty argument but more so start a war over something else.

The problem is he can’t seem to understand what will have you so mad on the first place. Then, it hits him. ‘Where were you?’ you’ve asked in a disappointing tone. You weren’t accusing him or actually about to throw everything his way, you were simply voicing out your concerns in the most heartbreaking tone he has ever seen you imply.

“Who…who let you in?” Automatically, he hits the back of his head mentally, scolding himself for asking something pointless. Who gives three shits over how you got inside the place, what matters is what happened to you.

You chuckle, humouring him with the answer. “Yeonjun noticed me leaving the party early. He offered to drive me here and let me rest for the night.”

“Why didn’t you ask me?” Soobin knows nothing about the context of the situation. All he can think of is himself coming in second in the list of people you can reach out to before everyone else, when he is supposedly your boyfriend.

It feels as if it always ends up the same way. Days are filled with no fights, barely texts, then you meet at some rando’s house and waste your minutes away drinking and dancing. Things are fine for a few hours, but everything is so blurry it might be just ten seconds before something happens and you are bickering, not funnily or light-heartedly, but bitterly and hurtfully.

Tonight though, tonight’s different. You both barely make it home with your arguments, let alone leave the party separately no matter what. It makes no sense. The expression in your eyes says you are clearly up to fight, but your curved down figure and tear stained cheeks say you’ve given up even before it started.

“There’s no point in asking you, Soobin, you never pay much attention —.”

“That’s bullshit,” he interrupts. “I’m just a call away, you are just too prideful to ask for my help.”

Soobin braces himself for your response taking a step back but straightening his posture. For all he knows you can begin a yelling match right now or hit him with the most painful and guilt inducing cry ever, and he needs to be ready.

“It’s…” you let out a breath and try to smile, “whatever. I’m sorry we couldn’t work stuff out. Let’s end it here.”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t expecting that nor was ready to hear you say it so calmly.

“Excuse me?”

“Soobin, why are we together at all? You and I both know we have nothing in common and don’t even try to understand each other. It’s not fair on you to stick around if you don’t love me, but it’s also not fair on me to let you stay and use me.”

“I never used you!” He raises his voice a little, offended beyond belief. How could you try and break things off by pinning all the blame on him?

“Think about it, why are you with me if not for the party and the party only? Soobin, I tried to understand. Being an idol is harsh and you’ve got a lot in your plate already. Being a leader is also something really important and I swear I did my damn best to justify your attitude. I thought I could make you happy since you seemed much more carefree around me, more like what you wanted to be and couldn’t because of the cameras and the pressure, but this is too much, I can’t do this anymore. It’s not me what is helping you get out of your shell every night, it’s my friends, the environment, the alcohol. You don’t love me —.”

“I fucking do!”

“You don’t, my life is your escapism, nothing else and it feels right, doesn’t it? To be free for a few hours,” you shake your head, softly smiling through the pain that it brings you to accept and voice out the truth. “It’s alright, but whatever you think you can gain from my environment won’t last you long, and one day someone is gonna catch you. The company and the rest can only cover you for so long, Soobin, you need to let go.”

“No…no,” he mumbles. “Thi—this is all bullshit. Just tell me, tell me, how to fix this. I promise I can do better. Fuck’s sake, what is it that you want?” Exasperated, he walks past you, reaching out for the small planner besides his nightstand, and opening on the schedule written down for the next few weeks. “You want to go on dates? You want me to buy you something? I got small breaks every afternoon, maybe we can grab some coffee and have a chat!”

“Binnie…” you address carefully, calling back a nickname you haven’t used in months. “I hate coffee.”

“Right? Right! Then you can order some tea and I will pay for cake and all those sweet treats you gush about so much! And we can take cute pictures or whatever and —.”

“Binnie, it’s over.”

“No! It’s not over until I say so!” He whines, sitting down harshly on the edge of the bed.

He is well aware of the foolish act he’s pulling off but he pays no mind to the repercussions of his actions and sayings. Desperation is crawling inside him, tearing up his skin and booming entire sets of drums against his intoxicated heart, and all he can see is you walking up to him and kneeling down with the same smile you gave him all those months ago, when you two first met and let him let loose. It’s like a deja vu, but this time you aren’t opening the door for him to a new world, but closing it slowly on his face.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that you are right for once and he’s wrong. It’s not fair that the night will end up in a breakup rather than sleeping off a petty argument.

“Soobin, I think it’s time you learn how to manage yourself and your life.” Your fingertips trace a pattern down his jawline, comfortingly and he melts underneath your touch, almost purring like a cat. “If the problem is you fearing ending up alone, with no friends or having no fun, I promise you that won’t happen. My friends are your friends now too, okay? And from time to time you can join them, have a few laughs and forget about all your things, but you need to balance it with your actual day to day life. Your group mates love you, you are their friend, your fans adore you they way you are too. Please, just let yourself be yourself, okay?”

Soobin sniffles, pulling away from your touch and wiping his tears harshly. You watch him raise up his legs to the mattress and lay down with his back facing you, putting an end to the whole discussion, and while one side of you is glad he’s so prideful he can’t see past his own nose to keep on bickering like a child, the other — more rational — side of you feels utterly bad for leaving him alone when he’s clearly hurt and downright lost.

But you need to take care of yourself too. This relationship, however it worked and whoever it benefited, took two people to make and you were also spiralling down your own nightmare right now. If you stood around any more you were afraid you’d never be able to crawl back and wake up from your slumber.

“I’m sorry, Binnie.” You get up with some difficulty and turn off the nightlight on the stand, letting go of the last bits of color splashing on the walls. “I will get going.”

He doesn’t answer back, sinking further onto the mattress and you sigh, struggling to walk outside in complete blindness.

Once the door closes behind your back, you can clearly hear the first heartbreaking sob pierce through the air and send a dagger through your chest.

Soobin begins to cry loudly, but not even once you dare to turn and look back, not until you are out the apartment complex and many streets away from him.

It’s over, everything is over.

actually i didn't respond to your message bc i love you and wish you the best in life and you're my friend forever and i love you so much