Zaria Writing The Best Things Ever Once Again - Tumblr Posts

──✧ ˚ · “ 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

*.✧ ft. 𝐫𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢

*.✧ rin puts your early christmas gift to good use.

*.✧ wc: 4k. cw: nsfw, fem reader, very self-indulgent!, pet names (love, baby, pretty girl), the sfw part is sooo sweet i'm melting, slight choking and degradation (rin tells you to shut uponce lol), taking pictures in the act, reader has a belly button piercing. characters are 20+. not proof read // notes: rinnie my one and only <3 thinkin about him lots this christmas season !

"it's no fair!"

rin tries to fight back the amused smile that threatens to pull at his mouth, he really does. it seems like it's no use, though, when he has to hold his arm up to try and block the impact of the wrapping paper on his head.

"you just had to snoop around, didn't you?" you huff, brows furrowed and cheeks flushed from irritation and panic that both burst in your chest upon seeing your boyfriend, innocent as ever, unloading the shopping bags - even though this one single time, you specifically didn't ask him to.

to your horror, you could only watch the realization hit him and face light up as he held the collectors edition of his favorite director's top thrillers. extended and with additional commentary, you just knew it'd make him all giddy the second he unpacks it - he's watched these iconic pieces countless times before, after all, and with his inquiring nature, he'd love to go deeper into the lore.

you’ve hit the jackpot with this gift, that you were sure of, and you couldn't wait to see his reaction - but didn't want it to play out like this.

"i'm sorry," he laughs, sincerely even despite the amusement that lilts his tone. "sorry, love. i don't know what came over me, i should've listened."

you drop the freshly bought roll of wrapping paper onto the table, making sure to glare up at rin as he reaches for you and wraps his arms around your frame. he pulls you close to his chest, sturdy and warm underneath his hoodie, and you can try to huff and puff all you want, but it's just so painfully hard to do it - even playfully so - when he holds you so sweetly. you grumble a bit, something about him ruining his own surprise, and nuzzle your nose against the fluff of his sweatshirt.

"do you like it, though?" you ask, voice muffled but rin hears the hopeful tilt. "s'got all the extra scenes and all. the commentary too." you peek an eye up at your boyfriend, gaze glimmering when you see the smile on his face.

"dumb question." rin mumbles and gives your body a firm squeeze to get his point across. you yelp a bit as he continues, "of course i do. can we watch it tonight? or do i have to wait until christmas?" he teases and rests his hands on the small of your back, pinky finger dipping just barely underneath the waistband of your yoga pants.

you're not cruel and never could be - not with the look your striker boyfriend gives you, excitement pooling in the teal irises behind the thick curtain of black lashes. he's giddy like a little kid and you don't see this side of rin too often, despite him easing up throughout the years. and so,

"sure we can, baby." you unwrap your arms from around his slim waist and instead reach your hands up to cradle his jaw. leaning up, you give him a chaste kiss that tastes like your peppermint chapstick and the cup of flavored coffee he's been sipping on before you came home.

he hums into your mouth, tilting his head and leaning further towards you just when you're about to pull away. it's not enough, he's gotta thank you properly - and so he deepens the kiss, tongue slipping past your lips and lapping slowly, tenderly.

your knees nearly buckle at how it so quickly turns passionate, but as fast as it plays out, it as abruptly stops. rin breathes, lips moving against your own when he speaks. "you want one of yours?" he asks and you furrow your brows a bit.

"hm?"

"a present," he specifies, hands moving to rest on the small of your waist comfortably. he clears his throat, then pecks your lips quickly as he makes up his mind. "actually. just wait a sec."

you make a small sound of protest that falls deaf on rin's ears as he pulls away and dismisses you with a wave of a hand. you huff, watching as he skips up the stairs two steps at a time. you don't really mind how he ignores your whining - it'd be funny if you did, especially with the way rin seems far too excited to return the favor.

it's sweet, makes your teeth ache and heart grow and swell with unbearable amounts of love you hold for this boy - the way his eyes only ever seem to shine so brightly when it's around you.

he walks back into the kitchen barely a minute later, a neatly wrapped small box in his hand and it stirs your interest. you lean back against the kitchen counter, hands mindlessly playing with the hem of your sweater as he steps closer.

"god i hope you didn't spend too much." you blurt out before any thought filters it, and rin laughs as you blink once, purely out of worry. "what? don't laugh at me!"

"so what if i did?" rin quips, a teasing lilt to his voice but it still makes your shoulders and eyes drop, as if to say, oh, you didn't. he cracks a smile, feels the corners of his mouth twitch as he hands you the package. "kidding, baby. open up, you'll love this."

you've never really been too big on surprise gifts, always opting for more useful and handy presents, but that never meant you were any kind of ungrateful. both giving and receiving gifts were only ever fun because of how much thought the other person paid to making it, you thought, and the certainty and confidence in rin's voice makes you all the more excited.

as your fingers work on the light brown paper, rin speaks.

"it's not really big or anything, but i know you loved your last one.” oh- “it actually makes so much more sense to give it to you a little early, too."

you already have a clue what might be hiding behind the paper even before you finally pull the box out - and surely, there is a brand new baby pink polaroid camera, blinking right back at you from the packaging.

it might not be much to some, but it is everything to you - and rin instinctively opens his arms when you gasp and lean into him, some sort of an one arm hug and attempt to keep close to him.

"oh my god!" you sound breathy with excitement as you unbox the camera, feel the way it fits in your small hands all over again. "you remembered," you mumble, eyes darting back up to your boyfriend as if in disbelief.

rin shrugs, offers you an interested look instead. "yeah, it's been months since you lost the other one," he points out, "and i figured you'd want to take some pictures this season..."

it's no surprise he remembered, nor is the fact he's thought it through so well. it's rin, and he keeps everything in this mind of his. (he really does. trying to beat him at buying the most accurate present is useless, cause he'll always end up shocking you anyway.)

you stare down at the camera, fingers now aching to hold it up properly, to press down on the shutter. you smile to yourself, glancing up to see teal ones already looking down at you expectantly. he doesn't look nervous per se, but there's definitely a hint of anticipation.

"i love it," you grin, earnest and sweet as you take a step or two away, holding the camera up to your face. you look through the tiny lens, adjusting the angle so that the entirety of rin's body from waist upwards fits. "grab the present." you instruct, one eye peeking up from behind the camera.

he complies, reaches for the box and holds it up, until there's just a pair of bright turquoise irises staring right back at the lens from behind the package. the christmas tree twinkles faintly in the back, warm light fuzzy behind rin's broad shoulders. "good?" you nod, mouth pulling into a smile at the sight and without further wait, you press down on the shutter.

rin puts the package back down, gaze all the while focused on you, and he's glad he keeps watching - otherwise, he'd miss out on the joy written all over your face as you delicately pull the cartridge out. "first one down!" you chirp, the happy sound bleeding into a laugh.

he thinks he could eat you whole if it was the only way to savor all of you, so sweet and pure and all his.

you place the camera down on the kitchen table, flapping the photo around to speed up the process, "this is exciting." you muse and rin notes the way you bounce on your heels a little, a tell tale sign of how thrilled the gift's made you feel. "you gonna be my model again, rinnie?"

a pair of sturdy arms wrap around your waist, manhandle you just enough to plop you down on the counter. he noses at your neck, the spot just below your jaw that makes you shudder when he mouths at it, and rin hums with thought.

there's already a pile of various polaroids of him, sitting in one of your drawers and waiting for their turn to be tucked behind your phone case - but he'd be silly to mind any of it.

he used to be silly in his teenage years, blushing and protesting whenever you’d angle your camera at him, eyes fleeing away bashfully. what’s all that for? he asked once, a miffed expression on his face as he crossed his arms and slumped in his seat a bit. you laughed, thumb pressing down on the little heart on your screen to save the picture to your favorites. so that i can keep looking at you when you’re across the globe again, you retorted lightheartedly, eyes focused on your screen still but the fond smile you wore pulled at rin’s heart by it’s own. he gulped, aquamarine eyes boring into your oblivious features, and he vaguely remembers thinking that he’s fucked and done for - he was in love with you already, but that day he felt it suck him in deep, until there was no air to breathe and his soul soaked through with you, you, you. rin cleared his throat, straightening up in his seat as he leaned forward on the table.

you peeked an eye up at him, a short hum of question accompanying the look, and he gnawed on his bottom lip with anticipation. take another, he said then, voice softer than minutes ago and he swore he could see a spark ignite behind your irises. i don’t mind.

it might’ve been years since he fell in love with you all over again, but the heat still rises in his chest all the same upon the sight of you aiming your camera at him. he’s grown so addicted to the adoring look you’d give him after each taken snap and he’s selfish, doesn’t want to deny himself the sight - and so, rin presses a kiss to your jugular as he murmurs,

“mhm. whenever you wish, love.”

it's suffocating, the way rin doesn't take no for an answer as he works his way down, mouthing and nibbling on your scorching skin. your whining falls on deaf ears as you push at his head, the air in your lungs growing hot and blood rushing through your veins. he just doesn't listen, even as you try to reason that there's not nearly enough time to be doing this now, that the guests will be there in two hours and you didn't turn the timer on the oven so you have to keep an eye on it. he only gives a slight grunt and ignores your whining.

you should've seen it coming, parading around in just a pair of shorts and a long sleeve top that's so tight, rin could make out the way your hardened nipples poked through the thin cotton. he's amused, he really is, with the shocked look behind your bambi eyes as he pulled you in for a kiss far too hungry and desparete to fit in the kitchen scenery - what else did you expect?

now he has you spread on the living room floor, the wool carpet rubbing against your bare skin and chaffing his knees as he moves to rest between your legs. maybe it is the mulled wine that both you and rin enjoyed earlier or maybe it's the close proximity of the fireplace that brings a few droplets of perspiration to collect across your hairline, cheeks flushed red and eyes bleary as you speak,

"rin-" it comes out as more of a moan than a proper sound, accompanied by your eyes rolling back when one of rin's hand reaches to grab at your mound. the thin silk of your shorts feels cool against your heated skin and urges you to shudder. "baby, i'm serious, we don't have the time," you insist, voice almost pleading.

your arms twitch to prop you up, lean up just a bit to try and catch your boyfriend's gaze, but the wake of kisses he keeps pressing to your tummy is enough to make your head roll backwards instead.

rin nearly purrs against your abdomen, palm rubbing on your clothed cunt as he mouths at the smooth skin. his teeth skim over the swarovski sitting neatly at your belly button, give a gentle, playful tug that makes your toes curl. "we do," he mumbles and your jaw slacks in defeat.

he can make it quick, he supposes. of course he can, and he will, if it's the one single rule he has to play by in order to get his fill. in fact, he still hadn't touched you properly yet and the thin material of your shorts already seems soaked through... yeah, it'll be quick.

you gasp, loud and trembling when rin's mouth eventually reaches your heat. he slides a hand up to grab at one of your tits, tongue lolling out to take a long lap up your folds and he groans. catching your nipple between two fingers and giving an experimental roll and tug, he watches your chest ripple with moans that get caught somewhere deep in your throat. you keen breathily, the arch in your back abruptly smoothed out by rin's forearms pressing down on your hips.

the grip of time doesn't let you fully submit to the pleasure still, body taut and head spinning. it holds you back, a film over your mind, and so you try again, "rinnie-"

"shut up," rin grunts, mouth full of cunt and large palm kneading at the swell of your breast. he glances up at you from his spot between your thighs, eyes hazy and heavy with desire. "need y'now, baby. so be good for me." his lips move against your folds as he speaks, the friction making your eyes roll back. "i'll be quick."

you've no problem trusting his words, considering he's proven countless of times how he has your body memorized better than any technique or strategy. you gasp, fingers tugging at the dark green strands and as if instinctively, you push him closer to where your heat is throbbing and leaking pathetically onto his awaiting tongue.

rin senses your surrender, feels it in the way your thighs tighten by his ears and how your clit throbs in his mouth. his eyes flutter, desire pooling in his gut and twisting as he groans. "good girl." he croons and gives your cunt a sloppy kiss, one that has you squealing at the lewd sound.

his tongue dips past your opening, nose nudging against your clit as he slurps and suckles. you've got so much to give him, it's always so much, too much considering he knows no restraints. your tummy feels warm and pussy flutters upon the familiar pull of your orgasm building up.

"gonna cum," it's more of a whimper than anything and rin's fingers twitch on the swell of your breast.

he gives your clit a suck, soft and languid as his tongue flattens on your folds and laps, and white hot pleasure sears through your veins. it's sudden considering rin's pace, as if lazy yet desperate at the same time - passionate - and makes your body seize up, hands tugging on his hair as you grind all across his mouth. you ride out your climax, shameless in the way you use his tongue to prolong the sparks of pleasure, and rin can only groan at the treatment.

by the time he pulls away and sits back on his heels, the very last wave of bliss is still rolling down your thighs, chest heaving and eyes only fluttering open upon rin's warmth leaving you. you watch as he eases his sweats down, just enough to let his cock spring free, and your brows furrow.

"spread 'em a bit more." rin instructs, voice a gravelly hum as he reaches over to grab a cushion or two from the couch. you obey, thighs trembling with the remnants of your orgasm, and rin gives a sound of satisfaction.

he doesn't waste time to speak, instead slides a hand under your hips and easily lifts your ass off the floor to place the pillows underneath. you fist at the carpet, eyes following one of his hands that wraps around the girth of his cock and gives a few strokes.

"fuck." rin sighs, shimmies around a bit to eventually kick off his sweats before he aligns himself at your core. "you were whinin' around not even ten minutes ago.. look at yourself now." you give him a look, both urging him to hurry and begging to shut up. he smirks, confidence warm in his veins as he spreads your wetness on his reddened tip, teases your clit with the way it catches. "say please."

you groan in protest and rin laughs, lighthearted at the sight of your annoyed expression. he wipes it right off your features with just a single forward roll of his hips, and gasps at the initial resistance your snug walls give him.

"please," you whimper, hands resting on top of his as he lays them on the small of your waist. he urges himself deeper, bottoms out until his thighs press against your own and your cunt squeezes down on him right to the very base. "fuck me good." you breathe and watch rin's eye twitch.

he lands a smack to the side of your ass, sharp enough so that it elicits a mewl from between your lips, and he tightens his grip on your hips. "that's more like it."

the downright mean lilt to his baritone makes your pussy twitch, blush spilling down your cheeks as he sets his rhythm. it's rough and urgent, gives away the desperation building up in rin's chest and ghosting behind his turquoise eyes.

head tilting backwards, you gasp and sputter when the tip of his cock bullies right at your cervix. your legs kick out involuntarily and rin's eyes twinkle with amusement as he thrusts deep, pulls your hips forward to meet his halfway. you keen, body squirming at the pull in your tummy.

rin steadies your hips, fingers digging into the soft flesh until he's certain it'll bruise and mark you with his love. "so pretty like this." he rasps, chest rumbling with a groan upon the sight of the tears that cling to your lashline. "my prettiest girl, takes me so well." as if on cue, his gaze drops to where your cunt stretches around his girth, struggling to fit it all in. he feels you leak when he eases himself out a few inches and gives in to the ache in his hand to reach down, thumb gliding across your clit.

you suck in a breath, lungs aching. "please, rinnie." the clammy but oh so featherlight brush of your fingers across his forearm sparks his interest. he knows what you want, the need almost substantial as it radiates off your heated skin when you gently coax his hand around your neck.

lust washes over his senses, thick and heavy as it clings to his conscious and sends a jolt of despair through his flesh. the look you give him, doe eyes glimmering with tears and need, makes his head spin. fingers flexing around your jugular, rin has to swallow back a moan.

"right here, yeah? want me to choke you out?" the tilt to his tone is downright demeaning, hidden behind a coo that turns your brains into mush.

aquamarine eyes glance down to yours, hold your stare as you grow putty in his grip. you nod, quickly so as if you're ashamed of the weight the gesture bears, and whimper upon his hand tightening. "rin- hah, please."

he knocks the breath out of your throat with a single squeeze and leans down to swallow up your moan with a kiss.

"shit. shit," rin feels his shoulders tremble, the exhilaration turning his thrusts erratic and unsteady. he knows he promised to be quick, but the way your cunt milks him and sucks him deeper makes him hope you won't mind if he goes to break his word. he's so ridiculously close, feels the red hot pleasure creep up and it's a pain to deny himself the high.

your thighs involuntarily jerk around his hips, tightening around his hand that still works on your swollen bud. you're close, he feels it, sees it as your mouth parts and eyes threaten to roll back.

you look entirely fucked out, as if you've been laying there at his mercy for hours already - and he wishes he could keep the image engraved into his mind, reach for it on the days where thousands of kilometers keep you away-

huh.

he gets it now.

you give a confused hum when his movement comes to a halt, the grip on your neck loosening just slightly as the other hand leaves your body altogether. you watch questioningly when rin catches his breath above you, a new found interest to his gaze.

before you can voice out your concern, his eyes already move to the coffee table, searching and seemingly finding the thing in question as he reaches over. you tilt your head, following his line of sight, and your breath hitches.

rin steadies himself in his spot between your legs, gives you just the slightest move forward to try and get your features to twist in bliss all over again. blood rushes to your face in embarrassment as you watch him adjust the camera to fit all of you in it's frame.

"holy fuck." it's merely a breath as he speaks, husky with arousal. "you're fucking perfect like this."

the sheer desire in rin's voice might be more than enough to bring you to your climax, you think as he groans, thumb reaching to pad at your bottom lip. he presses down on the swollen flesh, wet and glimmering with spit, and fixes his grip on your neck.

it's sinful, something magazines would kill themselves over to put on their front pages. it exceeds anything he's seen before, the way your eyes stare right through him and the camera, the hem of your shirt hiked up as the smooth skin peeks through. it's addicting, the way your reddened lip obediently rests under his pad as the rest of his fingers stay heavy on your jugular.

it's too much, the entirety of you. you're always everything and too much at the same time.

rin presses down on the shutter, doesn't wait until the cartridge comes out as he gently tosses it to the side. sparing the device a single glance to make sure it's in tact, he corrects his grip on your neck before turning his whole attention back to you.

there's many things that get him riled up even further and you've seen it play out countless times before. (more so, you're always the one to blame for rin losing his sanity.) but the look that he settles on you now is brand new, something borderline lovesick, teetering off the edge of lust.

he flexes his fingers around your neck, vice grip making your head spin and hips jitter when he resumes his thrusts. leaning down, rin lolls his tongue out to lick up your jaw, sticky with perspiration and sweet with the taste of you.

"sorry, love," he rasps right by your ear. "but i can't be quick with you this time."

© itoshi-s. do not plagiarize, repost as your own or mention on other sm platforms.

sae who can be sooo insufferable when he lies in between ur legs and presses the sweetest, gentle kisses to the front of your panties :( emerald eyes taunting as they watch the way your chest shudders and head lulls to the side, almost dreamily so, and thighs tense under the warmth of his hands as he keeps them spread :( he does it again, kisses your cunt almost tenderly — again, and then some more, until the words he aches for finally slip past your mouth, honeyed and airy. please, daddy, you hiccup, fingers gentle as ever as they lace in his hair, and he groans against you, lids heavy with need. good girl.

˚ ୨୧ ⋆ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝒽𝑎𝑟𝑚’𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦

@katasstrophy requested: rin + hate sex // no lukewarm love v-day event !

wc: 2.2k. cw: nsfw, hurt/no comfort, semi-public sex, toxic relationships, slight dacryphilia & cervix fucking. ꒰ minors + ageless blogs dni ꒱

Rin Itoshi knows how to bring you to tears.

He does it with much more ease than you suppose he'd think, your interactions ending with frustration collecting along your lashes in crystalline drops more often than not.

Then again, it starts to feel like he's well aware of it and ready to use it against you.

He's overwhelming, pressing you into the cement wall without a care for the exposed skin of your back, now burning from friction as he keeps you hoisted up in place. Each forceful thrust punches a bit more air from your lungs than the last and one of Rin's large hands cupping your mouth shut firmly doesn't help in easing the burn sparking deep inside your chest.

Your brows furrow - you're not sure whether it happens from pleasure or frustration - and the look you send the striker's way is nothing but pitiful, Rin realizes.

It's pitiful and miserable and makes his cock twitch inside of you so hard, he almost thinks he's coming already.

"Don't fucking look at me like that," Rin rasps, but his own eyes leer at you with no shame or restraint. The turquoise sits bright around his lust-blown pupils and makes him look all the scarier than he should.

With a low grunt, he bottoms out inside of you again, the flared, oozing head hitting right at your cervix. Your lashes flutter, thick and clumped with mascara that threatens to spill down your cheeks along with the tears that start to steadily stream down, then soak into Rin's skin as he keeps your mouth shut still.

It hurts, but you suppose it has to. It should. You wonder if it's some sick form of further punishment for ever letting Itoshi into your life - as if the whirlwind in your mind and growing void in your chest were not enough already.

The thought sits bitter in the back of your head, even if he's turned your brains to mush, filled your skull with cotton and incoherence. It never quite goes away, but now it makes your grip on Rin's hair tighten, pulling at the roots until you feel him jerk.

He would've doubled over from the sudden rush of pain if it wasn't for the fact that one) he's rutting into you so feverishly, it's almost as if he's leaning the wall along with you, and two) he actually really fucking enjoys it.

He'd rather drop dead - maybe give up the World Cup, even - than admit it, even if it's a state of things that you're both very well aware of already.

You yelp against the clammy hand still pressed to your mouth as soon as Rin's pace quickens. Each forward roll of his hips is calculated, pin-point precise with how he's bullying himself against your now swollen cervix. It sends an electrifying spark up your spine, renders you limp in the athlete's hold as white noise rises between your ears. He could truly fuck you unconscious if he wanted to.

"Rin," it's muffled when you cry, head rolling back, knocking against the wall. Your hips instinctively search for his, eager to take more of him in, as if in defiance of your will and sense of pride.

"Shut up," he forces out, breathy and choked and even from your current angle you're able to notice how his mouth hangs open. He's gasping for air, the unrelenting and brutal pace surely taking a toll on him, even with this ungodly stamina. "Please, fuck, don't- don't."

You've always had it in you to make the world's number one crumble and fall to his knees in front of you - the same pair that could carry him through the field within seconds. He wouldn't mind scarring them, wrenching beyond repair, as long as it was in your name. You tear him up, rip away every layer he's been so diligently wearing since years. An armor of sorts, one that you were once willing to ease off his shoulders and make way for your tender, healing love.

As Rin watches your eyes roll back and feels your nails leave scarlet crescent moons on his back, he starts doubting if the will ever died down.

Would you still allow him to touch you like this if it did? Would you withstand the stark contrast between his usual, daily indifference and harsh, ice cold treatment when he's inside you like this, using every minute he's been given with you?

Rin grunts as he readjusts his grip on your ass, blunt nails digging into the soft flesh as he hauls you up, pulling your hips flush against his own. You're close, he can feel it, from the way your clit throbs untouched against his pelvis to the tale-telling swell of your cunt around his leaking cock.

Why are you still here? Why do you keep whimpering his name like it's all you've ever known?

Dark green strands stick to his forehead, matted with sweat as Rin squeezes his eyes closed, an attempt to shut you out. You and that stupid fucking love-struck look that he knows all to well to ignore when it simmers behind your irises, peering up at him just to spite him.

He groans into the crook of your neck, where you didn't even notice his head has fallen. He's rutting himself inside of you, each thrust knocking your backbone into the wall, bruising you for days to follow. Rin only ever does it because he knows you'll look at the marks later and that the sight will eat you alive.

Your plush, doughy walls squeeze him abruptly, warmth oozing around the very base of Rin's heavy cock, and your lips part in bliss. Your nails rake down his back, eliciting a sound that probably turned out way whinier than he would've liked, and you tug him close, until he has to adjust his balance if he wants to keep fucking into you like that. (He does. God, he will fuck you stupid if it's the last thing he does.)

"Harder," you hiccup, almost meekly, but the way your claws stay cutting through his milky skin makes up for the borderline pleading tone. "Fuck me harder, Rin, can't you?”

He nearly growls by your ear, tongue wet against your pulse point as you can feel his canine press against it, like he wants to rip your throat out. You think he kind of does. "Fuck you." Rin spits, plowing into you deeper. He fills you up to the hilt and stays there for a split second, using the momentum to reach a hand up and wind his fingers around your throat.

Pulling away, he looks at you and relishes in the way your eyes grow unfocused, cheeks heating up from asphyxia. You can tell he wants to sneer at you, hurt you more than any grip on your airways ever could, but his gaze is too feverish, too desperate; it gives him away, his crumbling resolve.

Your legs start to tremble around his waist, soles of your shoes digging into the small of his back. Rin breathes, labored and heavy as your hands wander underneath his sweater, leaving a burn in their wake when your nails drag across the broad of his back.

"You- ha-ah- you like this." you manage to let out, squeaky and airy as Rin's grip on your neck tightens. He's almost single-handedly moving you around as if you're merely a doll in his hold, and the realization makes the coil in your tummy tighten. "You do." you utter in a voice so small, Rin could shatter into pieces. And fuck, he loathes it, he does, he really, really does.

And so,

"I hate you." he gasps, chest rumbling as he sucks in a breath. He's chasing his high, his rhythm growing unsteady and jittery but still, his cock reaches all the swollen hidden spots inside of you. When Rin notices his vision blur slightly with ecstasy, he repeats, afraid his point didn't get across with all the euphoria sneaking into every breath. "I fucking hate you."

You bite back a sob, emotion lodged in your throat. You shake your head, or at least attempt to, and feel Rin's cock swell inside of you, twitching every so often as the impending climax licks at his spine. Your fingers twitch to wipe at the drool shining on his chin, clinging to the lips you can only dream of properly kissing, or touching at all.

You want to ridicule him, point it out - make him feel as small as only his brother ever could. A delusional part of you tries to convince you it's what he deserves, for putting you through so much sorrow and longing that your heart will never heal from. But you can’t bring yourself to do it. Sadly, there’s one simple truth about you, and why you’re hurting the way you are:

You hate Rin Itoshi for the same reason you cry for him. The deeply unfair, persistent, inalienable fear of being loved, the one that made him shut out everyone else.

Your breathing quickens and Rin's hand shakes around your neck, grip lethal. Electricity starts to roll up your spine in time with your lover's telling groan, guttural and choked.

"You don't."

Rin's pretty when he falls apart. Your words strike the right spot, frail and vulnerable, and it sends him crumbling down. His eyes roll backwards, hair falling on his forehead and jaw locking in pleasure, every muscle in his tall frame taut as he rides out his orgasm. He's never looked this large yet vulnerable at once.

This time, his face falters in a different way, and you wish you could make out the emotion that displays on his features, but your own climax takes up every ounce of your being. You cling to him, moans laced through with incoherent blabbers of his name, and for a second you forget all about your surroundings. Half-minded, Rin tucks your head into the crook of his neck and God, he's sure he starts coming all over again when you bite at his shoulder forcefully to keep quiet. It hurts like hell, even through the thick wool of his turtleneck. What stings more is the realization that he will like looking back at the mark later.

You're not entirely sure how much time passes until the heat dies down, your limbs no longer fuzzy, lungs not feeling like sandpaper anymore. Rin catches on before you do, though, and knocks you back into awareness when he carefully yet swiftly eases you down on the ground. (He pulls the hem of your skirt down haphazardly, and hopes that you, too, think that it's just muscle memory by this point.)

Heavy breathing resonates in the training facility corridor, almost bouncing off the gray walls. With each next labored sound, it only seems to grow even louder, overwhelming to the point you just hold your breath in momentarily until the erratic jitter of your heart slows down.

It always only ever ends like this. It's more of a silent agreement between the two of you than anything else. You pull your panties back on and wince slightly when some of Rin's cum soils it immediately upon putting it on; you tidy your hair a little and wipe the fallout from under your bleary eyes, then check for your office keys, mind already moving onto work, where it should've been all this time.

Rin fixes his sweater, pulls his boxers back up, then does his belt. He swings the training bag over his shoulder and runs a hand through his bangs, pushing them out of his eyes as he glances towards you. The blank expression is back, splayed over the features that held so much emotion for you just mere moments ago. Hatred, disdain, longing - you don't care whatever it is.

You yearn for the way Rin showed you anything at all.

Twirling the keys around your finger, you peer up at him, but it seems like your gaze focuses anywhere but at Rin. You don't speak much afterwards, perhaps both too afraid to let everything spill out, but it's not like you hold proper conversations anywhere else either. It's bitter, the taste sitting on the back of your tongue when you think of how different things were, but came crashing down what seemed like overnight.

If Rin feels alike, then he doesn't let it show. He waits with you - for what, God only knows - and stands there, tall and broad, eyes unwavering.

"You coming to the game tomorrow?" He cuts through the silence, eventually, and you don't want to look up at him again. You don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing your gaze spark up with feelings of hope that seemingly just runs free inside of you by this point.

You keep your eyes somewhere behind his shoulder instead, humming under your breath, as if in thought even though your mind's made up already.

"No," you say softly. The gentle tune of your voice makes Rin's stomach churn. It's almost like you, too, start to sound indifferent to it all, building the same wall he's put up to keep you away. "No, I don't think so."

If only you would have glanced at him, even in shameless curiosity. But you don't, and you miss the way his gaze softens in what could be letdown, only to harden split seconds afterwards.

Rin fixes you with one last look, gaze lingering from head to toe before he eventually turns on his heel. Only then do you focus your gaze on his back as he heads down the corridor, then pushes down on the handle.

He almost wavers in his spot. Then, before the door can fall shut behind him, he regards you one last time.

"Good."