Micaela's May Recs

— micaela's may recs

ty to all these amazing writers who have left me with butterflies in my stomach and/or tears rolling down my face, much appreciated <3

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON

— aemond targaryen.

balance the scales by @ichorai

HARRY POTTER

— george weasley.

ask her by @theweasleysredhair

— theodore nott.

by newts and nott by @cherryslyce

↳ like clockwork

love is sour grapes by @patrophthia

MARAUDERS

— james potter.

eyes on you by @lustsickforyou

what's happening to me? by @harrytpotter

kiss cam by @kquil

↳ the pretty nurse

— regulus black.

amortentia by @stargirlrchive

enclosed to you by @cherryslyce

↳ familial impasses

THE BEAR

— carmy berzatto.

comfort and chaos by @nolita-fairytale

↳ make my heart surrender

BRIDGERTON

— colin bridgerton.

to love someone by @gryffindors-weasley

— benedict bridgerton.

second son by @fayes-fics

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

— zuko.

blush by @beifongsss

AVATAR

— neteyam sully.

stupid voice, stupid heart by @fleurriee

— lo'ak sully.

more than that by @slttygeto

LOCKWOOD AND CO.

— anthony lockwood.

far too young to die by @atlabeth

MORE THAN THAT— LO’AK SULLY.

pairing: x fem! reader.

tags: childhood friends to lovers, a little bit of angst towards the middle, insecure lo’ak, reader is mad at him, lack of communication because i love pain, they’re both 18 during the second half! a little suggestive towards the end, this is a long one btw :].

word count: 7k (my longest fic!!!)

note: ive been writing this for about a month (on and off obviously) and i thought i might share it now that i finally decided where to end it (?), it’s not entirely proof-read, my amazing best friend @aurelianamu (check her neteyam piece its amazing) read some of it and told me what to fix, so the rest will be corrected along the way. thank you for reading!

dividers by: @firefly-graphics

You are ten when you first meet the Sully’s, family of Toruk and Palulukan Makto.

Being the newest friend of Kiri, the second oldest didn’t hesitate to introduce you to her family, proud of the fact that she managed to make a friend so easily. You were shy, closed off and unsure of how to behave in the presence of the man that your parents told you many stories about. Your little child brain was curious to know as to how he behaved with his family, if he would be nice to you or strict and harsh, even if he had no reason to show anything besides kindness to his daughter’s newest friend.

“She is the same age as Lo’ak,” Kiri exclaimed with lots of excitement, holding your hand tightly while standing in front of her parents.

“Is that so?” Kiri’s mother, Neytiri, spoke with a gentle tone, smile adorning her lips which was unusual since she always seemed to be sporting a serious look on her face around The People.

“Who is the same age as me?” A voice spoke from behind you and suddenly, you were very aware of the fact that Kiri had more siblings than you—in fact, you had none. So you jumped slightly, a little surprised by the proximity of the boy.

“(Name), my friend!” Kiri’s excitement while introducing you warmed your heart but it also made you hyperaware of the looks you were receiving even if they weren’t malicious.

“Your friend?” Lo’ak stated in question, eyes scanning your face before puffing his chest out proudly like a peacock. “I bet being my friend would be more fun!”

Now, you weren’t expecting that. Kiri let go of your hand to push her brother back, almost telling him off at his attempt at stealing you away from her and you could only watch in horror as the bickering turned into hair pulling.

“Hi, I’m Neteyam.” Neteyam’s voice was soft and gentle, very similar to his mother’s and it made you relax for a moment before you realized you had to introduce yourself as well. Yet before you could speak, he was cutting you off with a nod. “(Name), I heard Kiri introduce you.”

You nodded back at him, eyes falling on the scene unraveling before you; Lo’ak and Kiri being scolded heavily by Toruk Makto himself, his eyes warning them that if they tried to say one more word, they would get grounded for a whole month.

“Ma Jake, be nice. We have a guest.” Neytiri tried to console.

“Exactly, so they should learn how to behave,” Jake Sully grabbed his kids and made them stand in front of you. “It’s up to her if she wants to befriend either of you, okay?”

“But dad! I found her first!” Kiri’s bottom lip quivered and you stepped towards her with a look of concern.

“Kiri, you’re my friend.” Lo’ak huffed at this, head dramatically turning to the side making his hair move with him. “Lo’ak can also be my friend.” Said boy’s ears perked up at this, face slowly turning to face you while scanning for any possible clues that you were just kidding.

Jake smiled at this, hand resting on top of your head before ruffling your hair. “Yeah? You wouldn’t mind befriending this knucklehead?”

“Knucklehead?” Your confusion only added to the fun of it and Jake chuckled before standing up straight.

“It means he needs someone to look out for him at all times.”

“Dad!” Lo’ak whined at the statement yet you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips.

“Friends look out for each other, right?” Your question earned a nod of approval from Toruk Makto and that was all you needed before stepping forward, firmly holding Lo’ak’s hand in your own.

“Lo’ak and I are friends then.” The youngest boy stared at you in awe, feeling the tips of his ears warm up at the sincerity of your voice.

“Friends.”

You are twelve when you learn what a pinky promise is.

You loved hanging out with Kiri, yet she and the rest of her family couldn’t deny the obvious chemistry between you and Lo’ak.

Despite the youngster’s stubborn personality and disobedient nature, he became more tolerable around you. That didn’t mean that he stopped from causing trouble, but he was seen around you sharing toys, passing you bits of food that was handed to him by his mother and even went as far as to to grab a giant leaf from a tree to cover you when you curled yourself into a ball to sleep.

The same could be said about you, yet your personality was never a problem in the first place. Kiri knew you as the kind hearted young na’vi that you presented yourself to be and you didn’t change around any of her family members. Although, she was able to notice the way you let things slide for the sake of being close to Lo’ak, such as letting him near your personal space, allowing him to touch your hair and look at the beads while proudly showing off your mother’s choice of colors and even letting him redo one of your braids as you two sat in silence.

Kiri wanted to feel jealous of this, she did befriend you first but she couldn’t help but let her heart feel at ease. Her brother and closest friend got along and it was worth more than anything in the world.

“Lo’ak, aren’t all sky people bad?” you were currently in the middle of your play session with the young na’vi, and the latter halted his actions at your words to stare at you with furrowed eyebrows. He noticed your stare, how it lingered on Spider, their human companion for as long as they could remember, before returning his eyes back on you.

“My dad was once a sky person, he isn’t bad at all.”

“Your dad is Toruk Makto!” you exclaimed almost in disbelief at the fact that Lo’ak was insinuating that you were even thinking of lumping his dad with those terrible people who had once destroyed your home.

“I’m just saying, if my dad is nice and he once was a sky person, then it means there’s a chance good sky people exist.” Lo’ak answered with a shrug. He trusted easily, that was something you envied him for. You couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling whenever you stared at Spider and a part of you felt bad that your brain didn’t allow you to relax in the presence of a boy who had done nothing to you, his only crime was to belong to a race that caused you great pain and suffering.

“It could be true…” Your friend was able to sense your anxiety just by looking at your body shrink in its spot, your arms hugging your knees closer to your chest before resting your head there. He might’ve not been the softest out of his siblings, but he knew that you needed comforting ; any kind that is.

“Hey listen,” Lo’ak put his toy down next to you before leaning down to your level with his pinky finger up. “I promise that I won’t ever let sky people do anything to you, okay? Pinky promise.”

Despite the feeling of warmth that you felt at his words, the obvious confusion on your face was a telltale sign that you didn’t know what a pinky promise was.

“Pinky… promise?” your voice came out soft, hesitant as you mirrored lo’ak’s actions and the moment he hooked both of your pinkies together, you felt your heart strings tug in your chest.

“Yes. A promise that is never meant to be broken.”

At your silence, Lo’ak realized that you had been staring at his hand. Hard.

Upon figuring out what was so fascinating about his hand that it silenced you, he immediately tried to pull it back on his lap, regretting a little the fact that he got too comfortable showing you his hand, his filthy demon hand.

“No,” you started with a stern look, grabbing his hand to pull back next to your face and held his pinky finger up with much concentration on your face.

“I don’t judge, I like your hands,” you hooked your pinky finger once again with his and Lo’ak wasn’t able to shake off the funny feeling in his chest, how his heart leapt as he nervously gulped down the lump in his throat.

“Pinky promise?” His voice came out as a whisper, almost in disbelief that you were accepting of who he was and who he came from. he did believe that his father was the exception to use as an example to justify good sky people existing.

“Pinky promise.”

Fourteen and fifteen were an easy age, you got along most of the time and everyone was scared when the both of you teamed up against them. Yet sixteen and seventeen had proven to you that you were both strong minded and that made you butt heads often, only in harmless ways.

You two are eighteen you realize that the bickering and butting heads was just a love language of yours, that your disagreements would never take away from how much you cared for each other.

“You have got to be one knucklehead to do something like that!” You hiss at the boy who could only stare back at you with an equally murderous glare, clearly disliking the vocabulary you were using.

“I am no knucklehead if I just wanted to have fun.” He hissed in return, and it quickly turned into a groan when your hands tugged harshly at the bandage circling his arm, sending him a warning that you weren’t going to let it slide easily just because he was wounded.

“Fun on the war zone? I didn’t know that playing with your life is the newest form of entertainment.” His family watched in absolute entertainment as you two bickered back and forth. The argument kept shifting from humorous to serious and they didn’t know where to stand.

On the outside, it seemed as though you disliked one another, yet this was just another day for the Sullys where you and Lo’ak bickered so much, they had to get you two separated to make it stop.

“Shit- stop! that hurts!” he almost wailed, leaning back against the tree when you applied the ointment to the cut on his face and given the expression of disapproval you had on yours, Lo’ak could only mutter under his breath as he fixed his posture.

“Man, am I not allowed to complain now?”

“Lo’ak,” you started, and he could immediately sense your change in demeanor by how visibly deflated you looked.

“I’m okay,” He cut you off with a firm stare, but his hand held a warmth to it, a gentle reminder that he could never be mean to you for a long time as he rested his palm on top of your hand. “Really, it was just one reckless moment that is all.”

“You’ve been saying this for— Eywa knows how long, Lo’ak, it’s serious. You need to watch out.”

“You don’t trust me?” With his tone, you could tell he was genuinely curious to know what you felt about him as a warrior and his heart was ready to shatter into pieces, waiting for the usual answer that was chanted like a mantra by his father.

“I mean, I’m not as strong or as cool as big brother Neteyam, but I can be helpful on the field and–“

“Lo’ak, I trust you.” You were never one to lie, especially not when you let your eyes fall on his. Flashing him a small smile, your fingers applied the ointment on the rest of the cuts on his face in a much more delicate manner, taking in how his tail was swaying from side to side at your comment.

“Someone is a little happy,” you teased, hands gathering all the medical stuff that his grandmother had given you to put them back in their spot.

“I will push you off my Ikran next time we go on a ride.” the glare on his face was playful and you couldn’t help but pat his head affectionately.

“I can always call for my own Ikran you idiot.” He wasn’t even able to push you away when you leaned down with your pinky up to his face.

“Pinky promise, by the way,”

“Pinky promise?” You didn’t let him stay confused for long before grabbing his wrist to intertwine your pinky fingers together.

“That I trust you. With all of my heart.” and with that, you took off with your tail swaying softly from side to side.

Lo’ak observed you for some time after you left, ignoring how his face still stung a little from you tending to his small wounds. Sighing in exhaustion, he ignored the looks he was getting from Kiri who sat only a couple of steps away from him.

“Shut up.” He turned his head away when he saw his sister approach him with a teasing grin, ready to tell her off for the umpteenth time the same week for teasing him about the usual topic.

“I haven’t even said anything,” Kiri plopped herself next to her brother, immediately taking notice of how Lo’ak was able to see you every move from his spot.

“I know what you will say and you’re wrong.”

“So you’re just going to keep denying the obvious heart eyes you have for my best friend?” The girl na’vi raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

“I don’t have heart eyes for my best friend too, if you haven’t forgotten yet, I would never do anything to ruin the friendship.” To say that Lo’ak was an idiot was an understatement.

Kiri had told him that a crush would never ruin the friendship but Lo’ak saw it differently. You were a comfort he never thought he could have in a person beside family, a safe space for him to runaway to whenever things got too stressful with his father, Jake, and most importantly you were a best friend, a ride or die and someone who cared about him too much for him to risk watching everything fall apart.

His heart squeezed at the white lie he told his sister, another moment of denial where he forcefully swallowed down any possible trace of romantic feelings for his best friend and Kiri sighed in defeat, having already given up on the topic for the day.

“If you say so, don’t be disappointed if she finds someone else.” She stood up from her spot on the tree, looking down at her brother who visibly flinched at the mention of you possibly finding a mate, a lifelong partner and someone who would proudly show you off before Eywa.

“I would be happy for her,” Lo’ak almost bit his tongue at his attempt to fool his own heart, to halt it from hammering so strongly against his chest and stop himself from feeling so upset at the thought.

“Brother, you’re a fool.” Was all what Kiri said before walking away towards you and starting a casual conversation as usual, asking you if you wanted to go on a ride on your Ikrans after making sure every warrior was safe and taken care of.

And Lo’ak could only watch with a tight jaw, flexing his hand in an attempt to stop himself from possibly punching himself in the face.

Maybe Jake was right, he was a disappointment. Someone who isn’t even able to maintain a proper friendship without falling hard for his best friend, and the uncertainty of keeping things strictly platonic with you was eating him up alive. He hoped that Eywa would make his worries go away, and perhaps find a solution to the mess he had created inside his head.

Eywa didn’t take long before answering his prayers, but it came with a cost.

Longing stares and hours of talking to one another way past curfew after sneaking out turned into cold shoulders and short conversations. The effort was barely there and you could tell Lo’ak didn’t even want to acknowledge your existence whenever you came around and it hurt, it pained you that you didn’t even know what you had done wrong to suddenly lose a person whom you held so dear to your heart.

Your lip quivered as you stared at the plate of fruits you had freshly cut up for Lo’ak, tears threatening to spill from your eyes when you remember how he harshly rejected your offer at spending time together.

“I have a meeting with my father. Later.”

“But Lo’ak we haven’t–“

“Don’t be so clingy, I said later. Go find someone else to eat the fruits with.”

Clingy? Someone else?

You didn’t want to eat them with anyone beside him. Having him call you clingy when he used to get excited to spend time with you, saved you the last bits of his food and would talk your ear off about his schedule, it was all confusing. You didn’t know what you had done wrong and if you were even able to fix it given how it was painfully obvious that you were the source of the miscommunication going on.

It felt like Eywa wasn’t on your side the past few weeks, and your heart squeezed in disappointment at how your strong faith was being questioned by such tough times. You never doubted your deity, believed that everything happens for a reason but what could possibly come out of being so abruptly separated from Lo’ak?

You headed back to your hammock and set the plate aside to grab your pen and paper. When everything felt like it was falling apart, writing seemed to be the safest option. You found comfort in spilling your worries to a sheet of paper and weren’t ashamed of it, in fact, you were praised greatly for it by Kiri who had told you that her mother would’ve definitely developed an interest to you and your ways of distressing.

Oh Eywa has it been difficult to breathe as of late. Lo’ak hates me, that I am sure of. I have been nothing but a good friend to him and I’m confused and heartbroken, I don’t know what to do Eywa and I want to talk to him, to ask him what caused to hate me so strongly. Maybe it’s my strong love for him? Have I pushed it too far?

To be truthful, you had been in a state of denial for quite some time now. You were a friend to Lo’ak, a companion and a person who was always by his side but your heart craved more.

It was the way your heart leapt whenever Lo’ak came around, throbbing when he sat next to you, leaving no space between the both of you. How your body tensed when he would place his hands on your shoulders and he would stare at you with concerned eyes, wondering if he had smacked your skin a bit too hard.

But you knew it was wrong. It was unacceptable for you to feel this way for your best friend, even more horrible to crave him in ways only two people who are mated want one another.

You felt rustling behind you and jumped at the noise, head whipping back with fearful eyes only to relax once you realized that it was just Neteyam.

You had grown to enjoy the boy’s company over the years and he was nothing but nice to you. The two of you had short yet sweet conversations and you could tell that Neteyam saw you as a sister, someone who belonged in the family more than anyone else.

“Thought you had a meeting with Mr. Sully?” your voice was small as you scribbled on your paper, lips pressed in a thin line and posture slouched as you leaned against the tree.

“Fix your posture, you’ll feel like you’re eighty when you’re twenty.” Neteyam tried to brighten up the mood, only to realize that it poor timing since you only flashed him a weak smile before giving a half assed attempt at sitting up properly.

“So no meeting, he just didn’t want to see me?” The boy flinched at your words and he wished you didn’t notice, but you were smart and you had a sharp eye. Things like body language and little white lies didn’t go unnoticed by you and yet Neteyam was confused on how you weren’t able to see through Lo’ak’s poor attempt at pushing you away because of how much he wanted you.

“He’s an idiot, but I promise you that–“

“Don’t…Don’t promise me something that might not happen,” you cut him off with a sharp intake of breath, your chest tightening and tears threatening to spill at any moment. You were growing tired of everyone reassuring you with words, only for Lo’ak to shatter any hope you’ve had that you two would make up from the nonexistent fight that you had.

“He thinks what he’s doing is the right thing, but it isn’t,” The eldest of the Sullys took it upon himself to wipe your tears away, thumbs caressing your cheeks in a delicate manner. “He is an idiot, but I want you to know that it’s paining him just as much,“

You scoffed at the words but never pulled away from the boy’s touch. “It pains him just as much? He’s the one who started it.”

“I know but–“

“Teyam,” your hand wraps around his wrist, and you gently pull it away from your face before holding his hand in your own. “It’s alright, I know you want to defend your brother and you have every right to do so but he hurt me, he’s causing me so much pain from a situation he created,”

“I’m not asking you to pick sides, but I’m also not going to let my pain get invalidated. I’m the one hurting here because he woke up on the wrong side of his hammock three weeks ago and decided not to utter a single word my way ever since.”

Neteyam could only sigh at your words. You were right, the situation was much more complicated than a simple disagreement between you two. Had you known the full story behind what was going on inside Lo’ak’s brain, maybe then it would feel fair to tell you that the boy was also in pain.

“Just do what feels less painful to you.” As if that was going to be easy, but the more you interacted with Lo’ak, the tighter your chest felt. You needed a break from the boy even if you knew that seeing him was enough to reassure you that he was doing okay.

This was the longest Lo’ak had ever sulked in a corner and everyone was starting to grow tired of it.

The boy was almost lifeless, barely engaging in any conversation with his family members. He ignored Tuk’s nagging and consistent request to play with her, brushed off Neteyam’s suggestion to go on a ride with their Ikrans and wouldn’t even talk back to Kiri and Spider.

He was unrecognizable to say the least.

Neytiri nudged her husband with a concerned look on her face, eyes silently begging him to do something about the boy who went from being the loudest to the most reserved.

Jake could only awkwardly shuffle in his spot before coughing to catch his children’s attention. Talking to his sons wasn’t his virtue, it felt easier to console his little girls but given how strange Lo’ak had been acting, it was finally time to have a heart to heart with his son.

“Son, let’s ride our Ikrans after dinner.”

Lo’ak didn’t even raise his head at the sentence, simply thinking that Jake wasn’t referring to him. It wasn’t until the silence had felt too long that Jake called again, this time making sure that he heard him.

“Son? Lo’ak?” said boy raised his head with a perplexed look, and Jake noticed how his food was basically untouched.

“Yes sir?”

“We’re riding our Ikrans after dinner.” Jake repeated, setting his plate to the side before nodding at Neytiri as a way of thanking her for the food.

“We?” the boy looked at his brother, unsure if he was hearing his father correctly.

“You and I, son.” Lo’ak grew nervous at this. He and his father weren’t on best terms most of the time given how their personalities clashed with one another, but he thought that giving it a try wouldn’t hurt anybody.

“Okay dad.”

After a poor attempt at finishing his food, Lo’ak finally decided to join his dad after hopping on his Ikran. He wasn’t entirely sure of what his father wanted to talk about but he hoped that it wouldn’t cause the two of them to start fighting as usual.

“You closed off on yourself,” Jake didn’t bother with trying to ease Lo’ak into the topic, he immediately pushed him inside. He could tell he caught his son off guard given the wide eyes and how his lips struggled to find the right words to say.

“And you’re not only hurting yourself but you’re also hurting people around you,” Jake wanted to see how far he could push his son before making him admit his obvious feelings for you, the one girl he and Neytiri were very sure that she was going to be their son’s future mate.

“I don’t have that many friends,” Lo’ak’s sarcasm could be sensed from miles away and Jake held back a sigh at how similar he and his son were. He hated that sometimes. seeing in his son a version of himself he was ready to bury.

“I’m glad that you’re acknowledging that (name) isn’t just a friend.” The eldest pushed his son a little further and he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips at how nervous and awkward his son got.

“She is just a friend…”

“We’re definitely different when it comes to this,” Lo’ak raised his head at his father’s words, unsure of where he was going with this.

“I married your mom not long after I met her, didn’t have time for all this being in denial bullshit,”

“Mom wasn’t a childhood friend.”

“Yet I think if she was a childhood friend, it would’ve made me want to marry her even more.”

The beauty of growing up together, getting to tell the next generation that you’ve known who your soulmate was at a very young age is a privilege not a lot of people have, not when most Na’vi have their mates chosen for them. And Lo’ak was very much aware of that and yet he couldn’t help but think that no one would choose him, not when he was so… like himself.

“I just think…she can do better,” Sharing his biggest insecurity was challenging enough as it was, but doing so with his father felt rough on his heart strings. Lo’ak’s throat tightened up and suddenly he became hyperaware of his fast heartbeat and sweaty palms, wishing that he had chosen something else to say to save him from the discomfort he was feeling.

“Is that truly up to you to decide?” The boy blinked once then twice, trying to register the fact that pouring his heart out was easier than he anticipated. He couldn’t bring himself to formulate a sentence for a good ten seconds before he was looking away from Jake, the latter’s words finally getting to his head.

“Does it even matter if I let her decide?”

“Would you have wanted her to let you feel the same if roles were reversed?”

“Roles could never be reversed cause she isn’t a freak like me,” Lo’ak almost snapped back in response and he visibly tensed at how defensive he was getting.

“So you think she deserves better than some five fingered freak like yourself?” Jake was blunt as he responded, eyes boring into his son’s who could only nod in response, not catching onto the sarcasm lacing in his words.

“Seems like you don’t know her as well as you claim to do.” Jake dipped down with his Ikran and Lo’ak followed shortly after with his own companion, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the words coming out of his father’s mouth.

“Of course I do know her, she’s my best friend and I’m sure that she—“

“The reason why you like her so much is because she never cared about stuff like this. It’s been this way ever since you were a child, son.” Toruk Makto was now face to face with his son as their Ikrans came to a stop mid air. “For you to make her go through so much pain because you suddenly decided that she wanted to change her ways and morals is unfair in my opinion, both for her and yourself.”

“But to ruin the friendship—“

“Again, those are only assumptions you have made based off of pretty weak evidence—made up one since you didn’t even question her on whom has her attention or better yet, her heart.”

The picture was slowly coming together to Lo’ak now and the clearer it got, the more he realized just how badly he fucked up.

Three agonizing weeks of ignoring you, stopping himself from joining a conversation you were in and suspending any attempt you had thrown his way to hang out together, catch up and possibly ask him what was so wrong that he refused to talk to you.

Sure, it pained him so much but he knew how sensitive you were. In fact, he could tell from your big yellow eyes how deeply hurt you were everytime he rejected you, and Eywa, did it make his heart squeeze, almost shatter at the sight of tears brimming your vision.

Lo’ak knew he fucked up, and he could only pray to Eywa that he would be able to fix what could possibly cost him a friendship and perhaps his childhood sweetheart.

You had every right to be ignoring Lo’ak right now. That, he is totally aware of, and even knew that it was exactly what he deserved after ghosting you for no apparent reason.

But at this point, you were just torturing him.

Tonight, the Omaticaya decided that it was time to hold their weekly party at the end of the week, distressing and letting loose after a long week of hard work.

Those parties were fun, they were what everyone needed—what you needed most importantly and you weren’t going to deny it, you were looking forward to it even if it meant having to encounter Lo’ak since he was Toruk Makto’s son.

Things had started pretty well with everyone chatting and discussing thing such as how great of a leader Toruk Makto was, how they haven’t felt this safe in quite some time and that everything being under his control was something to be proud of as forest Na’vi.

And while Jake and Neytiri soaked in all the attention, the kids were doing their thing. Mostly chatting with their friends or in some cases, stalking some.

Lo’ak was aware of how creepy he looked just staring at you with an unwavering gaze but he was determined to have you lock eyes with him. If he wasn’t going to approach you, getting to see your eyes for the first time in a while would mean the world to him.

“You’re looking a bit menacing, brother.” Neteyam placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder, staring in your direction as well with a small smile on his lips.

“Huh? Well, I guess it’s not menacing enough to have her look my way.” Lo’ak mumbled under his breath, earning a lighthearted chuckle from Neteyam who could only pat his shoulder before squeezing it.

“You don’t want to look menacing or creepy, you want to look apologetic.” Lo’ak glanced at Neteyam after hearing those words and he knew how right his brother was but how? how was he supposed to look more apologetic than he already feels?

“Just walk up to her and see what happens.” Yeah, easier said than done.

“I will tell you what will happen. I will go up there and make a fool of myself because one, I don’t really know what to tell her and two, she will ignore me either way and I absolutely deserve it after treating her like shit because of something she’s not even responsible of,”

Lo’ak was frustrated but he couldn’t exactly do anything about it or even let himself feel this frustration without guilt washing over him.

It must’ve been horrible for you. But enough of feeling bad for you, he knew that despite what could possibly happen, he still had to confront you one way or another.

“Good luck,” was all what Neteyam said before walking away to let his younger brother decide on what he was going to do.

Luck

“Shit, I’ll need plenty of that.” Lo’ak mumbled before heading towards you through the crowd.

You could see Lo’ak and Neteyam from the corner of your eyes, you weren’t blind or clueless. You knew the two were talking about you just based on their body language. How unsure Lo’ak seemed and how playful the older brother was being and despite the fact that you thought it was endearing, you were still very mad at Lo’ak, and rightfully so.

It took them a couple of minutes to finish their conversation before Lo’ak was walking towards you and in a state of panic, you let go of whatever was in your hand and started heading out of the crowd, to a more secluded area. Anything to get away from Lo’ak as soon as possible.

You didn’t dare to look back, footsteps fast and unfaltering as you walked deeper into the forest with Lo’ak right behind you. Maybe if you didn’t perceive him, he would magically disappear.

“If anything, you know I’m the fastest runner between you and I,” his voice was uncertain, as if he was testing waters while still half-chasing you and you completely ignored his words, very determined on getting him to get off your tail.

“Going deeper into the woods won’t make me lose sight of you,”

“Did your tail get prettier?” was he staring at your tail?

Lo’ak was taken aback when you abruptly came to a stop and whipped your head fast to look at him and he wishes he could take back every bad thing he’s done to you, he wishes he could undo the past few weeks but he can’t, and he certainly can’t erase the pain in your eyes, how utterly confused and broken you must be feeling now that he’s suddenly trying to talk to you again.

“Listen-“

“No, no- you will listen. Because clearly that’s not what you wanted to do for like a month.” Your index finger was almost in his face but he didn’t back away or flinch, he let you be as mad as you wanted to be.

“I didn’t do anything to deserve what you did to me. I was a good friend! I was patient and forgiving, I kept finding stupid excuses for your lame ass while you didn’t even try to hide the fact that you were openly ignoring me for whatever reason!”

Lo’ak could tell you weren’t breathing properly while talking, and he wanted to hold your face and get you to calm down but touching you seemed off the table right now.

“And you come back and tell me my tail looks prettier?”

“I was just-“

“I’m still talking.” Your stern voice made him seal his lips shut, but he couldn’t help how his heart leapt a little in his chest. He had to fight the smile that was forming on his lips because he really didn’t want you to think he wasn’t taking you seriously.

“I appreciate you telling me my tail looks prettier but that does not and will never compensate for how shitty you made me feel lately.” Your voice was less harsh and smaller. He could tell you were slowly letting the tough façade fall apart because you weren’t used to getting hurt this badly. It drained you so much having him hurt you like this, and it made Lo’ak drown deeper in the guilt.

“I know it won’t, but I promise it hurt me just as much.”

“Then why did you do it?” Eywa, he wishes he could tell you.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Then we cant be friends again.” Your response was quick and dry. Lo’ak felt like he was quickly losing you the more he spoke and that absolutely terrified him.

“No, you don’t get it. If I tell you, I will lose you.”

“Is there anything to lose at this point?” Lo’ak was starting to realize how badly he fucked up the moment you said this.

“Wha- of course there is?” He furrowed his eyebrows as he stared down at you and for the first time, you weren’t glaring at him. Your eyes were slowly filling up with tears, breathing getting quicker by the second.

Lo’ak reached his hands towards your face to test the waters and when you didn’t flinch or pull away, just kept your eyes locked with his, he knew just how badly you needed to be held.

“Oh I’m so terrible, aren’t I?” He almost cooed at you, hands holding your face with his thumbs caressing your cheeks and your little nod before blinking some tears away.

“So… so terrible.” you nuzzled against his hand, a hiccup escaping your lips as you held back a sob.

“Eywa,” Lo’ak whispered, stepping a little closer to you so he could rest his forehead against yours. “You mean so much to me and it’s… terrifying.”

Your confusion only pushed him to continue, his nose brushing against yours and suddenly you were aware of how close—how intimate the position you were in. But you didn’t mind, your heart was racing yet you couldn’t bring yourself to push him away this time.

“If I mean so much to you, why hurt me?” your voice was small, almost too afraid to speak louder and ruin the moment.

“I thought hurting you would get you to hate me,” Lo’ak swallowed hard, eyes focused on your lips before staring right back at yours once again. “and you would realize that you deserve someone better than me.”

“And you think you have the right to choose for me?” your hands slowly moved up towards his shoulders and at first, he thought you were going to push him away. It wasn’t until he felt you press your body closer before wrapping your arms around his neck that he realized that you were doing the complete opposite.

“I chose you—Eywa chose you for me, and she is never wrong.” And you were right. As if your skin glowing in the dark wasn’t already beautiful, the forest decided to bless your moment even further.

Seeds of the sacred tree were floating all around you both, the pure spirits giving Lo’ak the reassurance and the tiny push he needed to finally close the distance between you two.

Your breath hitched when you felt his lips brush against yours, but you were growing impatient with the small amount of hesitance left in him.

“Promise me that you won’t hurt me again,” your words were hushed, breath quickening when you felt him pull you in closer by your hips.

“I promise.” the stars illuminated the sky and the night was threatening to get colder. But when Lo’ak was pulling you impossibly closer, your cheeks flushed with heat. His fingers traced the skin on your hipbone before digging in harshly, your sharp intake of breath making his eyes wander down to your lips once again.

“It’s unfair…“ your whisper caught him off guard and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion before they rose high when your hands slid down to caress his arms, gently moving towards his chest to rest your hands there. You looked up at him through your lashes, and if Lo’ak wasn’t aware of his feelings for you, he would think you were trying to make him fall deeper in love with every bit of you.

“What is unfair?”

“That you’re taking so long to kiss me,” your hands gently grabbed his face, holding his jaw to tilt his head down towards you. “I see you, Lo’ak.”

You didn’t need for him to say it in return—he wasn’t exactly able to with his lips pressed against yours in dizzying manner. You never thought you could grow more nervous around Lo’ak yet he seemed to have a knack for surprising you everytime, especially with his hands gripping the back of your thighs to pull you up and wrap your legs around his waist.

“I see—I see you too,” when he pulled away, panting from the kiss and eyes glazed with what appeared to be a mixture of lust and admiration, you could only squeeze your legs around his waist with a small smile.

“Already so out of breath?” your lips brushed against his nose in an endearing manner, fingers tracing his cheek to take in every little detail that made him who he is—yours.

“You dont know what you do to me,” he slowly backed you up against a tree, your cheeks flushing when you realized just how intimate the position you were in.

“Maybe I would like to find out,” Your teasing, your playful tone and your eyes that were clearly so lost in his, were constant reminders of how special he felt around you.

He, who had the honor of being your one and only, could only pray that Eywa approved of his love and devotion for you.

2023 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.

To Love Someone

Colin Bridgerton x Fem!Reader

Summary: Love doesn’t always work out how you’d like it to, and sometimes it does.

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: angst, jealousy, heartache, fluff, kissing, requited love

Shock. That was the very first thing you felt upon hearing what was supposed to be delightful news. What was supposed to be a celebration of the next chapter of someone’s life. But that feeling quickly subsided, for you hadn’t expected your very best friend to hold the same feelings for you as he did him. You never did, though a small part of you had hoped this was some fabricated nightmare that you would eventually wake up from. But much to your dismay, it was not.

Keep reading

JAMES POTTER | 10:44 ⏤KISS CAM

sum. : you end up on the kiss cam but not with james...

g. : modern au ; muggle au ; hockey player james au ; secretly dating au

length : 0.7k

not proofread or edited

You’ve been in a secret relationship with the James Potter for quite a while now, well renowned ice hockey player. It was a chance meeting actually, a chance meeting that left quite a lasting impression on the both you, several chance meetings happened after that and you eventually found yourself falling in love and happily engaging in a private relationship.

It was a whirlwind, shockingly fast but blissfully pleasant all at once, your feet in the air and flying through the skies, endlessly on cloud nine. Now, it's already been half a year and you haven't missed a single one of his games. It's still taking you a little time to get used to understanding how the game works and its rules but James was quick to assure you that that wasn't important. 

"My favourite part of the game is being able to meet you when its over for a kiss well-done," you still remember his cheeky, boyish grin and the fluttering ache in your heart. All he has to do is flash you that charming smile and you were jelly.

He's such a loverboy, so tender and sweet, a true gentleman but also goofy and ridiculously charming in his own audacious way. His liberal manner of loving meant that you didn't go a day without hearing an 'I love you' or being pulled into a sudden hug or getting a playful kiss on the cheek. In return, you tried to calm his affections but always succumbed to him in the end - like voluntarily free-falling from a skyscraper and always knowing you would land on a thick cushion of fluffy clouds and secure parachutes. 

You've never been so content in your life; naturally your eyes never left James and him you. He loves your timid affections, subtle but sweeter than honey, first unnoticeable but with a slight squint he could almost turn blind from how radiantly you emit your love for him. He's never letting you go. If there is so much as an hint of you leaving him, he's giving his all into making sure you stay, he'll shout and scream and cry and fight, no matter what it takes.

He's impulsive and hot headed, cheeks burning an almost darling pink when irritation furrows his brows and sets flames ablaze behind his eyes. James's eyes right now, however, weren't just a sea of flames but a volcanic eruption. His usual glasses weren't in the way of his eyes, only the small strands of his sweat-drentched hair provided you with some shield to his wrath. You were shocked, in your six months being together, you've never seen him so infuriated but it was then that realised you situation - you were sharing the big screen with a random guy for the 'Kiss Cam'.

The teams were on a break so of course James had seen it and was now blowing smoke fumes out of his ears and nostrils, glaring through the glass and at the guy who was attempting to lean in for a kiss as he skates his way furiously towards you. If the glass wasn't in the way, you feared that James would have beat the man to death beside you. You mentally berate yourself for having realised the situation too late and scramble say that you didn't want to partake in any kiss. You were just about to open your mouth and stop the stranger when the love of your life angrily slams his headgear into the reinforced glass before you in warning. 

"Stay the fuck away from my girl dickhead!" James shouted in anger, his thundering voice keeping the glass shaking as the stranger beside you immediately backed away. Lost in the moment and finding his unusual overprotectiveness overly cute, you step up, kiss your hand and press it into the glass in front of his lips in a pseudo kiss. 

"Thanks James," you smile, staring lovingly into his eyes that have visible softened at the sight of your gorgeous face. 

"Kiss me twice later," you do nothing but nod and he's heading back to group with his teammates once more. You suppose your relationship isn't so private anymore. 

a/n : thoughts, darlings? i know james is typically associated with rugby but i can see him as an ice hockey player too - please someone tell me that they think the same TT_TT

navi.

sycamore girl | sirius black

pairing: sirius black x reader

genre: fluff, fake-dating/relationships, the tiniest bit of angst, con artists sirius and reader sksks

word count: 12.3K

originally posted on my wattpad

"listen, i hate my father and i'm positively sure that he hates me too but he is filthy rich so i curated a-" he paused, considering his next words "-plan of sort."

"so you." he pointed to her.

"and i." he pointed to himself. "get married."

"we then inherit a trust fund that he and mother had set up for regulus and i when we were to be married and split." he finished explaining his plan."what do you say?”

“what do i say?" she repeated his words after a while. "no— you want to know what i think?"

at his nod she added, "i think that it's a stupid idea."

or two (one really) reluctant person chooses to marry the notorious sirius black for the price of many millions galleons.

"is this seat taken?" the voice caught her by surprise, raising her eyes to meet the asker's waiting ones.

"avril normally sits here," she replied, sparing a glance towards his usual seat; there sat lupin, potter and pettigrew bantering like they always did as they waited for the lesson to start. did they have a fight?

"well she's not here." he pointed out with a small smirk, making his way around the table to take a seat despite her words. "i'm sure she can find another spot."

she only bit her tongue, stopping herself from responding. black —whether he was purposely ignoring or genuinely failed to notice how irritated she seemed to be— cleared his throat, asking her a question that should've been expected from him, yet still managed to surprise her.

"are you seeing anyone?"

feeling as though something was stuck in her throat, she muttered quietly, "pardon?"

"you heard me," he said boldly, pulling his things out from his bag. "why is that any of your concerns?" black paused his actions, keeping his head low as he stared into his bag. "it's not," he admitted after a while, "i'm just curious."

she said nothing, watching as he continued rummaging his bag for his supplies. black lifted his head back up; quill in hand, his grey eyes meeting hers. "are you not going to answer my question sweetheart?"

"i'm not," she said eventually, turning towards the front of the class. "i'm not seeing anyone right now."

•••

it was late, she was tired; extremely tired but sleep didn't seem like it will be making its way to her anytime soon. lily had asked to meet her after class, when she asked why she couldn't just tell her more about the issue during their lunch break lily quickly told her that she had a prefects meeting to attend to (as if lupin eyes didn't grow wide, giving away that it was clearly a lie).

still, she went to the gryffindor's tower anyway, at the exact same place and time that lily had asked to meet her but the redhead wasn't there. instead there was potter, letting her into the common room and insisting that she wait on one of the couches instead of going up to the dorm to see her.

it wasn't until two minutes later when black showed up, sitting down besides her with a —somewhat— uncomfortable look (that didn't suit his handsome features at all) did she realize that this was another one of lily's lie.

"look," black started. helga, whatever did happen to hello, or how are you?, people really just skip to the point now these days. "i'm sure you're wondering why i'm here instead of evans and i will tell you that but i need you to hear everything first before you react, will you be able to do that?"

merlin, gryffindors are weird. "i'll try?"

"great, trying will do." he smiled charmingly, shuffling his weight so he could properly meet her eye to eye. "i have a..." he trailed off thinking to himself, "proposition?"

black licked his lips, mustering up his courage to continue on with his words. "listen, i hate my father and i'm positively sure that he hates me too but he is filthy rich so i curated a-" he paused, considering his next words "-plan of sort."

"so you." he pointed to her.

"and i." he pointed to himself. "get married."

"we then inherit a trust fund that he and mother had set up for regulus and i when we were to be married and split." he finished explaining his plan. "both the money and our relationship, you can go on your merry way and i on mine." he was searching her for a reaction, she knew that, she could feel his eyes roaming around for the most minuscule of movements that came from her. "what do you say?"

she was too stunned to speak; speechless at the shock of it all, it didn't help that his recap was half-assed. "what do i say?" she repeated his words after a while. "no— you want to know what i think?"

at his nod she added, "i think that it's a stupid idea."

black frowned at her words. "honestly, i think it's a solid plan, we just need to get married— we don't even need to be in love! just get married and you get money! it's that easy! it's not like i'm forcing you to join a cult-" to that she opened her mouth, trying to state that the noble house of black itself is a cult but sirius was quick to read her expression, shutting her up by continuing with his pleading, "-besides, i'm not bad looking and great company from what i've been told!"

"well if you're such great company why don't you go find someone else to be fake married to? i'm sure that they'll be plenty of girls lining up for the chance to be your fake wife."

"i don't want any of the other girls, i want you. you're not currently seeing anyone so no one will get hurt from this!" he replied, running a hand through his hair in a stressful manner. this was not how he had planned for it to go. "and i— i want it to be with someone i know and i just so happen to know you."

choosing to ignore how black both admitted that he wanted her for this specific purpose, or how the question that he had asked hours priors to this was in an ulterior motive, she exclaimed. "you also know dorcas. ask her! she's a great girl!" her voice was loud enough for the said girl to turn to her direction with a questioning look. "or marlene, she's extremely good looking."

"i can't," he retorted, sounding the slightest bit annoyed, "everyone and their mother knows marlene swings the other way."

"how are you sure i don't swing the other way then?"

"i don't— do you?" he asked with sudden interest. sirius shook his head, going back to the topic at hand when he stated, "the minimum that you'll get out of this is a million galleons, that's the minimum! i know there's more in that trust fund and i am willing to split it equally."

she thought about it for brief second before asking, "why me? and do not tell me because i'm someone you know because we barely know each other; i only came here to see lily but obviously i was tricked, so tell me why i should agree to this?"

black sighed, his voice growing grim when he answered, "you're the only girl i'm willing to invest in." he paused, maybe those weren't the smartest word choices but he was a flirt not a romantic and the difference had never been made clearer. "so won't you just... think about it, please."

•••

"are you going to do it?" lily asked, settling herself on the seat across from her. please lord, let her finish her essay in peace. "are you still mad at me? c'mon [name] i said i was sorry!"

and here she thought she would be safe in the library.

"i still have the rights to be mad about it," she retorted, keeping her head focused on finishing her work. "you made me sit through that god awful plan!"

"only because i thought you'd agree!" that grabbed her attention, making her turn to the person with an incredulous look. "you're extremely easy going so you could at least stand one another and it's a lot of money!"

"lily, you think i'd marry black for the money? i barely know the guy!"

"then think of it as an opportunity to get to know one another!" she exclaimed loud of enough to get the pair shushed by the librarian. "i mean i personally would for that kind of money."

"then you marry him!"

"no that's weird, i'm in love with his best friend!" she argued in return, a disgusted look on her face. "plus i can't stand him, i could barely talk to him for an hour without lecturing him let alone plan a whole wedding with him."

"i'm not going to marry a stranger."

"he isn't. think of it this way, by the time you finish all the planning he'd be a friend to you," she said, "or you know, something more than friends," she teased with a soft smile.

"lily, a divorce takes at least six months to be finalized. that's half of a year of my life being spent with someone i have no romantic feelings for." she replied, trying to get her friend to understand her reasonings. "not to mention the amount of paperwork i'd have to go through."

the head girl huffed, admitting to herself that she had made good points. she spoke again, this time a lot softer, drawing her into her, "black really needs this."

"he's been living at the potter's after leaving home and if he does get this; he and his brother could get a flat where they'd finally be free from that terrible place," she said slowly, "well at least i think that's why he's planning on doing this. he never told me why exactly, just that he wanted to scam his family."

"i don't think he'd ever tell me the real reason as to why he wants to do this but he doesn't owe me the truth." it was clear that she cared for him, lily's heart was too big for her own good.

"fine, i'll think about it," she muttered, defeated.

lily gave her look, one of disapproval. "you've been saying that ever since you found out about the plan. you don't expect me to believe you when you say it now do you?"

"okay, well i promise that i'd think about it for real this time, is that good for you?"

"it's more than good." she smiled happily.

it was a week later and she had kept her promise to lily, thinking over every possible outcome of what could be the results on the marriage would be:

1. they get married, everything goes according to plan, they get divorce, she becomes a millionaire.

or 2. they get married, the promise of money was fake, she was stuck with him for the rest of her life.

or 3. they get married, everything goes according to plan, she catches feelings for him, she becomes a millionaire with the desire of a man she cannot have.

but maybe that was her dwelling on the negative, not everything is always bad. right?

right?

her eyes scanned the corridor, looking between the crowds of students who were making their way back to their common room after a day of lessons for a group of four rowdy boys. after spotting them, she held onto her bag's strap, ensuring that they won't move when she made her way through the bustling crowd.

with a call of his name, black turned; halting his step as he waited for her to catch up. his friends stood beside him with a curious look. "i thought i'd never see you again," he said with a smile, "you've been ignoring me like the plague."

"you are the plague," she retorted, "if i stayed close to you for long enough you're narcissism will rub off on me." sirius only chuckled, knowing that her comment was light hearted. he looked down at her, meeting eye to eye; silently prompting her to talk about why she decided to call after him. "i thought about it."

to that his grey eyes lit up with recognition, now awaiting the answer that she'd give him whether it be bad or good. "and i thought why not? a million galleons to babysit a gryffindor is an easy pay."

sirius grinned. "great."

"great," she repeated awkwardly, "although i'd have to talk to my parents about it first. i wouldn't want to deal with them if they found out i had eloped."

"it's a good thing i already talked to them then," he said, his smile getting wider when her face dropped. "you what?"

"i knew that you'd need your parents approval so i reached out to them," he spoke while he started leading the way towards the great hall, "they like me."

"black when did you talk to them?" she asked him urgently, why hadn't anyone from her family reached out to her about this? were they planning on leaving her in the dark?

"when i asked you to think about it."

"after you left for your common room i wrote them a letter, your mother agreed to meet me and we talked it through," he added easily, "i of course told her it was because i'm in love with you and wanted nothing more than for you to be mine —keeping the lie going, you know? she told me to talk about it with you but i already did, i just needed an answer from you."

"and now that i've got it. i just need our parents to finalize our betrothal." he finished his words, meeting her gaze.

she shook her head, not believing him. "how did you even find out where they live? i've never once told you where i live."

"i just told the owl to find mister or missus [l/name], it was a simple as that." there was an air of obviousness to his tone, as if she should've figured it out by now but he still answered her anyways. "now can we have dinner? i'm starving."

•••

the words about sirius black and [f/name]'s engagement spread fast. hell, it has barely been three days before a fourth year approached her, asking her if the rumors were true before they sobbed at her answers. their nightmares was coming true.

sirius black was no longer single.

the rumors were okay for the most part, for it was true yet it brought her nothing but an unsettling feeling when she heard her name being whispered in the hallways. even now, as she was sitting at her house's table; barely paying attention to her friend's playful banter did the gossip follow her.

"have you selected a date yet?" avril asked, buttering her toast while she looked at her friend. "yup, his mother wanted a summer wedding, august to be specific. pure-blood accustoms or something," she replied with mild interest, stirring her tea. avril frowned. "it's your wedding, shouldn't you be the one making the decisions?"

"you'd think so," she retorted, lifting her mug to her lips, "but his mum's a nasty witch." she took a sip of her tea before placing it back down on the table. "we met her this weekend where she told us her plans for our wedding."

"she also gave me the black family's engagement ring," she added, lifting her left hand up. on the ring finger laid a dainty silver band that resembled a serpent of sort with a green diamond on top. it was no where near the traditional muggle engagement ring but it was beautiful in its own way. "it's an heirloom and to be completely honest i'm scared wearing it. what if i turned into you know who or something?"

avril laughed good-naturedly, amused by the situation. "honestly, a million galleons would not be enough for me to get involved with the blacks."

"well i've already bought the ticket and there's no turning back now." she shrugged, dropping her eyes to the table. "plus, sirius is actually a decent person to keep around."

"really?" she asked testingly, chewing on her toast.

"really." she nodded. "we have astronomy together and he's incredibly useful. black knows everything about it since his family are named after them. i think he's growing on me." she added. "although every time i remember i'm technically his investment, i second guess that idea."

"what do you mean you second guess that idea?," cut in eric, a ravenclaw who was dragged into their small friend group by avril. "who wouldn't want to marry a man who calls you an investment."

she opened her mouth, a sarcastic remark at the tip of her tongue when the owls flew into the great hall in one large flock; instantly heading towards their respective owner. she hadn't expected any mails today, she was all caught up with the wedding plans along with the letters from her family. so imagine her surprise when one of the many owls soared down, perching on the table in front of her, waiting with a wrapped parcel between its feet.

her eyes raised to meet her friend's curious ones, all of them wondering what's within the wrappings and most importantly who it was from. she hesitated, unsure whether she should take the package from the owl. with a prod from eric, she reached out; untying the parcel from the owl.

the owl flew away immediately, retreating to the crowd of birds. it didn't take long for her to realize what it was, "flowers."

"they're flowers," she repeated, holding up the arrangements for her friend to see, "they're really pretty." she added, biting back a smile. helga, it felt good getting flowers.

"who's it from?" avril asked excitedly.

she looked down, there was card tied to the strings of the bouquet, "black."

"oh," eric muttered, "of course he did, he's your fiancé after all."

"yeah, but it's not why he got it for me," she said, staring down at the card, "it's a thank you gift for dealing with his mother." she giggled, she separated the card from the strings before handing it over to her friend, "here look."

i know my mother is a bitch, thank you for talking to her. you made her tolerable.

- sirius black

now if she remembered correctly, the gryffindor table was seated to her right. with that knowledge in mind, she turned; wanting to thank black for his gift only to find him —coincidentally, sitting with his back to her. she poked at his shoulder, trying to steal his attention from his friend.

he turned reluctantly, looking (maybe more than) a tad bit annoyed only for his eyes to soften when he realized it was her. it took him another second to realize what she was holding before he said, "i see you've got the flowers."

"i did." she smiled, an action that he quickly copied. "i also got your message."

"i knew you would."

of course he would. "right." there was an air of awkwardness that she couldn't quite explain. "well thank you for this, it's lovely sirius."

his smile widened. she wasn't sure why it widened but she was incredibly grateful for it. how could one person's smile be so breathtaking?

"it's no problem. i'm glad you like it my love."

•••

"good evening." an unexpected greeting came, making me her jump from her spot. she looked up from her bed, only to find the source of the voice smirking down at her in amusement. "did i surprise you darling?"

it was pretty evident that his sudden presence startled her. "of course you did dumbass. who even let you in here? i could've been naked!"

"but you aren't," he quipped smugly.

"i could've been!"

"and yet you aren't."

"you're impossible," she grumbled, "are you going to tell me how you got here or not?"

"how i got into your dorm?" he asked, still standing by her bed.

"where else?!" she replied, sitting up and shuffling her blankets away. despite her hostile tone, she made space for him to sit down, patting it slightly to indicate that he could sit if he wanted to. sirius gladly accepted the offer, making himself comfortable while he thought of an answer. "well?"

"i just told the first years i was your fiancé." he shrugged, his smirk still prominent. "they didn't even think to hesitate."

"of course they won't, you're you," she retorted, looking into his eyes. "are you going to tell me why you're here then?"

"what? i can't just come to see you because i missed you? you're my bride to be after all," he teased playfully, holding her gaze.

"no," she smiled unkindly at him, "you can not. now will you tell me why you're really here?"

"alright," he huffed, for a brief second she thought she saw his shoulders deflate, but he was quick to recover, asking her, "you know tomorrow is a hogsmeade weekend don't you?"

at her nod, he continued, "well i wanted you to meet my brother."

"regulus?" she asked dumbfoundedly, brows furrowing together. "why?"

"i uhm-" he stuttered, seeming embarrassed? that was unlike him. "-i wanted you two to approve of each other."

"hmm?" she hummed to signal that she was listening while also simultaneously prompting him to go on.

"i wanted regulus to meet you, and like you and i also wanted you to meet him —and like him." he explained, breaking eye contact to stare at his hand sheepishly. "i want my brother to like you since we're going to get married and all that."

"sirius," she started attentively, "he doesn't need to like me, our marriage is fake remember? it'll be over in a blink of an eye, i'm just trying to help you out."

"yeah, i know that," he said frustratingly. "still, he's my brother, he is important to me; and despite him already knowing that our marriage is a false one, i want the two of you to like each other."

she considered his words. eric will throw a tantrum when he finds out about this. "alright, what time shall we meet?"

•••

maybe running down the stairs of the entrance hall at full speed wasn't the best idea but she was late and sometimes being late justify being a menace to everyone surrounding her. sometimes.

if that sometimes is being late to meet your soon to be husband's brother of course, one that you desperately needed approval from. one who has been waiting for your arrival with his brother for —atleast 15 minutes now. she felt incredibly sorry for making them wait but honestly, it wasn't her fault her hair decided not to cooperate with her this morning.

she wanted to look her best for them, first impressions matter after all. what would it say about her if she should up with frizzy hair that stuck out in every direction possible.

"there you are!" sirius exclaimed, approaching her the moment he spotted her, "c'mon the carriage's leaving, let's not be late."

listening to his words, she did what she was told, following him and his brother into an empty carriage. "i'm so sorry for making you wait, i didn't mean to, i was getting ready and before i knew it i lost track of time-"

"it's okay," regulus cut in, his eyes scanning her every expression. "we weren't waiting that long," he added, trying to reassure her, "the carriage was already planning on leaving when we got there so we technically only waited mere minutes."

fuck, he's charming. "i'm regulus black, you must be [name]?"

"i am, it's nice to finally meet you." she smiled, offering him her hand. she should've expected it, really she should've, with him being from an aristocratic family and all but regulus lifting her hand to press a gentle kiss on it still stunned her. she cleared her throat, "sirius has told me quite a lot about you."

"he has? and here i thought he was ashamed of me." he arched an eyebrow, whether he was teasing her or being genuine she could not tell.

"how could he possibly be ashamed of you, he's not even ashamed of himself." at that regulus chuckled, his smile no different from sirius'.

sirius rolled his eyes, watching their playful interaction with a small satisfied smile on his face. "i'm glad that the both of you can bond over bullying me," he said as the carriage pulled to a stop, "it's good to know that both my brother and fiancée thinks so highly of me."

sirius got out first, helping her get down from the carriage as best as he could. the three of them made their way to the three broomsticks, wanting a comfortable place where they could sit and chat their heads off.

seeing the black brothers in their natural habitat was entertaining. they were similar in many ways, from the way they talk to the way they carried themself and yet they were so different. sirius preferred to talk and make outward jokes while regulus listened, mumbling sarcastic remarks that had you smiling to yourself at how cheeky it was.

sirius had a habit —she was quick to note— of glancing down at regulus' left arm, a worried look always took place when he did so but he was swift in changing his expression. replacing it with a neutral one whenever he caught himself doing so.

regulus was as great company as his brother, charming, and fascinating to a certain extent.

they spent a large majority of their time talking. all of different topics ranging from quidditch to their favorite subject until regulus dropped his eyes to the table where her hand laid, playing with a napkin. "i see mother gave you her ring?"

"yes, she did," she said, her ring finger suddenly feeling heavy, "it's beautiful."

"it doesn't look very you," sirius joined in, pointing out the obvious. "it's still beautiful sirius, it doesn't need to be very me." his brow furrowed, countering, "but that's not good enough, it's your engagement ring after all."

"in case you've forgotten, i'm marrying you for your money, as of right now i'm the definition of a gold digger," she reminded him with a small smile, "an engagement ring being very me is the least of my concerns."

at that sirius frowned, dropping the topic. regulus stifled a laugh, the corners of his lips curving upwards. "has mother took you dress shopping yet?" he then asked with interest.

"no," she answered, "my mother wanted me to pick a dress of my own, your mother didn't like that idea very much. long story short i have the freedom to pick out whichever dress i want."

regulus pursed his lips, thinking. "i'm glad to hear that. i know mother is exhausting to deal with, i hope you find exactly what you're looking for."

"thank you regulus." the door bell rang to signify someone's entrance, the said boy turned, spotting a girl standing by the door before turning back towards his brother; pink creeping onto his cheeks. "is that her?"

he nodded sheepishly. "we'll leave you to it then," she said, standing up from their booth; she grabbed onto sirius wrist, smirking down at him in hopes that he knew of her plan. sirius got the memo, holding onto her hand before briskly bidding his brother goodbye. "do you think they'll end up getting married to scam your family like us?"

sirius laughed as the pair left the inn, walking down the streets that were so fond of. "probably not. i don't think he has it in he."

"i didn't think i had it in me to marry someone for his money at 17 either but here i am," she replied sarcastically, looking up at him. it was then did she realized that they were holding hands, she hesitated; not sure whether to pull away or to keep holding onto him. his hand was warm, it felt nice.

sirius, as if he had read her mind decided to squeeze it reassuringly. "can i take you somewhere?"

"hmm?"

"there's a shop around the corner," he said, maintaining eye contact, "can i get you something from there?"

"oh sirius you don't need to get me anything-"

"i know i don't need to," he cut in softly, "i want to. so i can please take you there?"

she thought about it briefly, knowing full well that her answer would be yes because who was she to deny him anything. "what is it that you wanted to get me?"

sirius broke into a smile, turning to lead the way. "do you remember how i said that the ring wasn't very you?"

"the thing you said barely 10 minutes ago? yes i do."

"good," he muttered, turning the corner, his grip on her hand never once faltering, "because i want to get you want that actually does feel like you."

"sirius i already told you it doesn't matter, you've already bought me flowers and that's more than i could ask for."

sirius paused for a split second, pursing his lips. "look, if i don't get this for you then how would people know you're mine? that ring is no where good enough for you," he questioned, leading them into the store. he held the door open, smiling at the shop's clerk who was ecstatic to see a customer. "just think of this as my thank you for marrying me gift."

"i don't think that's real thing sirius," she said, stilling besides him as he looked at the different rings the employee had put on show.

"it doesn't need to be real if it's what is needed in order for me to spoil you," he muttered in return, his full focus on studying the different rings. finally he picked out one he thought best resembled her. sirius took off his mother's ring, placing it in his pocket and slipped the new ring on her finger. "what do you think?"

"i think it's beautiful."

"i can't really take that as an answer love, you also said that about dear mother's ring."

"fine, i think it's magnificent. i love it sirius." she smiled, eyes glancing between him and ring.

"it's perfect then," he muttered, taking it off and handing it to the clerk for it to be sized. "that will be  our engagement ring."

it was later on that night, with avril and eric passed out on her bed after discussing their outfit plans for her wedding did she opened up the box that contained the new ring.

she lifted it out, examining it when something caught her eyes. engraved into the back of the ring wrote: yours S.B

•••

avril loved throwing parties, she loved plying people with food and making sure they were enjoying their time, she loved gathering her friends round a circle to play silly games that captured the true essence of adolescent. avril loved everything that one could love about parties.

so when she told her friends that she wanted to throw one in the hufflepuff's common room it was in their nature to help out. it was sunday, dinner had just finished and the common room was empty, each person in their own respective dorms getting ready when eric and [name] made their journey out, heading towards the kitchens for as much snacks as they could gather.

facing the broad stone basement corridor, it brightly lit and decorated with food-themed paintings, she reached out to tickle the pear on the painting. the  pear giggled, turning itself into a large green door handle that revealed the entrance. she took the first step, entering the kitchens with eric behind her.

"what are you doing here?"

her eyes widened, not expecting anyone besides herself and eric to be in the kitchens at this time. "i could ask you the same thing sirius."

"i asked you first."

she turned, briefly looking at eric for help but her effort was to no avail, the ravenclaw was as at a loss for words as she was. "i'm here to grab some snacks, we're throwing a party and it would a pretty shitty one without any food."

"oh," he muttered, "no wonder you look so pretty."

"you're wearing the ring," sirius pointed out after minute, gesturing towards her finger. was all conversations between two people who would be married to one another always this strained?

"i am," she said, looking down towards the ring, "how could i not? you bought it for me."

there was the silence again; her, eric, sirius and his friends all awkwardly glancing at one another. "oh! uhm- eric this is sirius, my fiancé and sirius this is eric, my friend."

"nice to meet you," sirius smiled, offering him a hand. eric hesitated, eyes drifting towards to her direction, she tilted her head slightly, an action he took as cue to accept sirius hand.

eric shooked it, smiling in return when he spoke, "i know she's marrying you for your money." sirius smiled dropped, slightly taken aback when eric added, "i'm sure potter knows it too, doesn't he?"

in truth potter did know, sensing by the way his shoulder tensed up at the pretense of him knowing. eric had a weird way of wording things, making everything seems hostile when it wasn't supposed to be. helga, why does men have to make everything so hard?

"eric you can grab the cheesecake?" she asked, making their attention shift to her, "i need to have a word with sirius about the wedding, then i'll grab the punch and meet you back outside."

"i'll see you in a bit." after she waved her friend off, she grabbed onto sirius' arm, pulling him towards a secluded spot where his friends wouldn't be able to eavesdrop on their conversation. she looked at him hesitatingly, studying his expression before asking, "are you mad at me?"

sirius frowned, furrowing his brows in concern. "no," he answered, "why would i be mad at you?"

"i dunno." he was taller than her, having to look down in order for their eyes to meet. "i just thought that maybe eric had said something to upset you."

"he's a bit... straight forward, no subtlety whatsoever," she added, "also a little untrusting at first but he's very kind, he's a great guy." the way his gaze hardened at her words, turning from attentive to resentful didn't go unnoticed by her. is he sure he's not mad at her?

"i'm not mad at you," sirius said softly, consoling her, "nor am i mad at your friend."

"then why do you seem so uneasy? especially when you're with your friends? you're never like that."

sirius pursed his lips, thinking. "because," he started, a smile tugging on his lips, "you look very pretty, and i just happen to not know how to act around pretty people."

she scoffed, rolling her eyes despite feeling her cheeks flush at his words. "right, of course."

"love, i'm being serious!"

"of course you are you're sirius!"

"hey! i'm being truthful here," he argued, chuckling slightly, seeing her flustered over a compliment had to be his new favorite thing. "you look as pretty as a picture."

she smiled, brushing it off. "that's sweet of you to say." noting how his eyes was lingering onto her every movement. "but you're still not welcomed to the party."

sirius laughed, throwing his head back at the lame joke she made. his words was never meant to be anything more than praise, wanting her to know just how breathtaking he thought she looked. "that's a shame, i was looking forward to get a taste of that cheesecake."

"better luck next time," she said, biting her lips. "i think i should go now."

"i think so too," he replied after composing himself, still smiling down at her due to their height differences. "it's unfair to keep my darling away from them for too long."

she watched as he took a calculated step forward, bringing the front of their shoes to contact. staring up at him, she felt her breath get caught in her throat.

leaning down abruptly, sirius pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead; her eyes fluttering shut at the warm contact. he stepped back then, he smiled once more, "invite me next time, won't you?"

•••

next time came in the form of a gryffindor party instead. it was james potter's birthday and it would be an understatement to say that the marauders went all out. despite the party being a "secret", the room of requirement was packed with students from every house that is cool enough to join an inter-house party.

upon arrival she was quick to spot regulus, introducing him to avril and eric who he both charmed his ways with them. eric and regulus, both cut-throat people bonded easily, making good natured jokes about how big of a mistake it was that she chose to marry sirius. eventually the slytherin led them to the life of the party.

"[name]!" james cheered excitedly, walking towards her with open arms, his face flushed. she returned his hug, turning towards his friend with a confused look only to receive chuckles from them. pulling away james grinned at her, slurring "i'm so happy you're here!"

right, he's drunk. "and i'm so happy to be here james," she replied, making him his smile stretch out even wider. "although i'm not too late am i? it seems like i missed out on the fun."

"oh no don't worry," lily shook her head, answering for him, "he just wanted to be that shit faced drunk person of every party."

"ah," she nodded in acknowledgment. "oh, uhm- i hope you don't mind, i brought some friends?"

"no it's okay, the more the merrier," lily smiled kindly, taking one look at them before noting, "eric from potions and avril from care of magical creatures."

"weird way to identify me but i've been called worse," avril said light-heartedly, earning smiles from their small group. "now, would you be kind enough to show me where the booze is?"

"it's just right around the corner, i can get some for you actually," lily offered, being the good host that she is, "[name], peter, would you mind helping me?"

"oh," she muttered not expecting herself to be mentioned. "no i don't," she smiled, taking the hand that lily offered and following off behind her.

"so," avril started, turning to sirius, "she looks great doesn't she?"

sirius nodded, not thinking much about his actions. she really did look beautiful tonight, although —if he really thought about it— there wasn't a day where he didn't think she wasn't good-looking.

"you like her don't you?"

remus, with his curiosity now piqued, dropped his head, leaning down to hear their conversation over the loud music. regulus doing the same, finding the topic of his brother's real love-life intriguing. "yeah pads," remus started tauntingly, "you fancy her don't you?"

"i hate you did you know that?"

"avoidance is not an answer black," eric commented with a small smirk, "if you fancy her just say it."

"i don't," sirius stated, his tone now on edge, "i mean it, i only care for her as a friend and nothing more."

it was the truth, as of right now he thought of her as a friend that just had some extra steps to it. she was kind and pretty but so was lily and regulus' new girlfriend but that didn't mean he was attracted to them. really, whether they want to believe it or not, sirius could be friends with a woman and not be in love with them.

"are you sure princess?" eric added, provoking him. sirius rolled his eyes, now used to the (for the lack of better words) asshole demeanor that eric had. "alright, i'll leave you to it," he said with a condescending smile, "but just so you know, [name] is the shit faced drunk at every party."

"and potter does not stand a chance at taking that position from her."

"speaking of the devil," avril murmured, breaking apart from their small group to welcome the two girls with open arms, refusing the spiked punch that lily offered for a shot of firewhisky that she immediately downed when her friend handed it to her. "you know me so well."

"i'm really the best aren't i?" she joked, turning towards sirius; she smiled up at him, an action that he copied and handed him a shot of firewhisky as well. sirius shook his head, opting on a butterbeer that peter handed him. "you're not drinking?"

"i'm not," he replied, taking a sip that resulted in foam being stuck on his upper lip. she frowned, disappointed, "why not? it's your best mate's birthday!" sirius only stuck with his decision, deciding to stay sober so he could take care of james whilst lily had her fun. "don't worry darling, i know how to have fun without getting drunk."

"what a shame, i brought these with me for nothing," she said, staring down at the three shot cups between her finger, "well i better not waste it then."

and with that she downed one, grimacing at the taste right after. she held another shot for remus who took it with a polite smile; the pair cheered, drinking the shots, for the party has officially started.

"pads," came james, pouting, "mate my throats dry," he complained, eyes going heavy. "will you be so kind to grab me a cup of water?"

from the corner of his eyes sirius spied lily talking to some of her friends, seeming just the slightest bit under the influence. "sod off prongs, go find your girlfriend."

at the other side of the room was [name]. the alcohol had hit her about an hour after her initial shots, drunkenly laughing at every joke that remus made as the two of them found themselves to be partners in drunken crime. remus chuckled, throwing his head back with a punch still in his hand, she sat besides him, listening to the story he was telling with a small smile.

"honestly, at one point during fourth year i had considered starting a hogwarts protection group from those two maniacs," the brunette said, incredulous by how stupid his fourteen year olds idea was. "i was part of the pranks too but still."

she only snorted, finding everything funny in her current inebriated state. as she opened her mouth, ready to tell him a funny story of her own sirius approached, a cup of water in hands. "hullo dear husband."

"hello," he greeted in return, handing her the cup of water, "i think you've had enough my love," he said patiently, ignoring the cringed looks that remus was sending him. "drink this so you won't feel so hung over tomorrow morning."

"sirius if i can handle getting married to you then i can handle being hung over on a tuesday." despite her comment, she drank the water anyways. alcohol sure does make your throat dry out. "you know you don't look like you're having too much fun."

"i don't?"

"you don't," she said, getting onto her feet to face him eye to eye. she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, looking at him with an intoxicated gaze. pulling her hand away, she exclaimed enthusiastically, "anyways, me and remus are going to dance, have fun being sober!"

and with that she left, hand pulling at remus so the lanky boy would follow after her. sirius' eyes trailed after them, noting how they both were bad dancers and yet did not seem to be stopping anytime soon. it wasn't long until eric, tipsy enough to be nice to anyone other than avril and [name], dragged sirius onto the dance floor as well.

she found her way to him, smiling as she moved badly to the beat. she said something that she couldn't quite hear; sirius leaned down, his ear close to her mouth, ensuring that he could hear her over the loud music. with a drunken giggle, she told him, "you're so handsome."

he pulled back to his full height, looking at her with amusement. "thank you chérie, 'preciate it."

•••

"do you still think i'm handsome?"

"shut up," she scowled, ignoring the delighted look that sirius had from eliciting such response. "i don't want to deal with you right now."

"why not? you thought i was handsome last night and now you suddenly despise me?" he teased quietly, not wanting to distract other people with their conversation.

"sirius i'm too hungover for this right now," she said, trying to keep her eyes straight at the board. oh how she missed the days where avril was sat beside her. "and if you say something along the line of i told you so, i will hex you into oblivion."

sirius bit his lips, holding back his tongue from stating that he did warn her about this. instead he commented, "you know i think i like you a lot better when you're drunk."

"and i like you better when you don't speak but we both can't have what we want now can we?"

"actually," sirius said matter-of-factly, "i've already gotten what i wanted."

"and what's that?"

"you."

"not the drunk you but having you is good enough for me," he clarified, "but i can always count on avril to bring out my favorite version of you-"

sirius continued to talk, but no sounds came out. don't you just love the silencio charm? she patted his thigh, causing him to pause in order to look at her. she smiled at him kindly, her expression the direct opposite of her next words. "you are so annoying right now."

•••

"your mother picks the worst time for us to meet her," she said, not once bothering to greet him. maybe he was rubbing off on her. "i mean seriously, couldn't she have planned to see the venue on a hogsmeade weekend."

she closed the hufflepuff's door behind her, walking to his side. sirius shifted his weight off of the pillar he was waiting for her at and started leading the way, "i've just had a long day of school and now i have to be nice to her. no offense boys, but i hate your mother."

regulus let out a small laugh, smiling at her words. "no offense taken [name], we hate her too."

"good," she said cheekily, "i'm glad we have that in common."

they made their way up to the great hall, then up again towards their usual passage beneath the one-eyed witch statue by the stairs. sirius tapped the hump with his wand, muttering a quiet dissendium. the witch's hump open just wide enough for a person to slide down to the hidden passageway.

sirius went through first, pushing his way up into honey duke, regulus followed soon after, leaving her last. with help from sirius, she climbed up the ladder, shutting the trap door below her.

sirius helped her make her way out of honey dukes and into the streets of hogsmeade. after reaching their destination, a spot that allowed for them to apparate, he let go off her hand, knowing that she (like him) was legal and could apparate on their own while regulus on the other hand. their unofficial adopted child, could not.

regulus, now used to being babied whenever he traveled with the couple made his way between them, letting sirius throw his arm around his shoulder while [name] slipped her arm around his waist. with a flick of both their wands, their small group landed in a secluded alley way where their wedding venue would be held.

the pair let go off him, heading towards one another and —as of muscle memory— interlocked their fingers, holding hands like they always did when they were to fake their relationship. the three walked, pushing pass the grand door and quickly spotting both walburga and her mother.

it was the second week of june, the finals had passed,  their NEWTs were completed. it was two weeks before the school year ended and roughly two months away from their wedding. it would be a lie if she said she wasn't nervous, she was, of course she was. marriage was a scary thing —especially when you're marrying into a family with old money who also simultaneously praises dark magic.

"mother," sirius said with a small bow, greeting her as politely as he could. "and missus [l/name], you look as gorgeous as ever."

her mother smiled, dismissing his compliment with a wave of her hand. "no need to flatter me, i've already approved of you sirius."

he smiled, feeling proud of himself for some reason he couldn't pin point. walburga coughed, causing the other four people to turn to her, giving them her full attention. by her side stood a short women with short blond hair, "shall we get started?"

the five followed her through a path that she had prepared, using magic to help visualize the venue the way both mothers wanted it. there was a hall that led into the main ballroom, its ceiling high with fancy chandeliers. her mum who had wanted a more natured feel to their wedding, asked if the person who was showing the venue, andria, could incorporate plants to the walls.

andria followed through her request, and within a flick of her wand the walls were lined up with vines, the ground spilling with purple flowers that made a satisfied smile find its way onto her mother's lips. andria then added a gate for a dramatic flair, making the hall seemed ethereal in its own way.

"this is nice," sirius murmured just loud enough for her to hear. she turned her eyes away from the various plants to him, finding him already looking back at her. "it is."

they then moved towards the ballroom, with it already being set up due to walburga's perfectionist personality; the couple stood in awe. this would've been the wedding of their dreams had they been actually in love.

looking down the isle, she found herself drifting off for a second, imagining her friends waiting by her side while her husband stood happily by his. softly she muttered, knowing that sirius could hear her despite how quiet her words was, "do you think you could cry when i walk down that isle?"

sirius watched her, considering her words for a moment, "do you want me to?"

"yeah..." she trailed off, tearing her eyes away from the isle to look at him. "i mean i bought a beautiful dress so you better cry, if not then i might just have to cancel the wedding right then and there."

sirius let out a small laugh, finding her request incredulous. "okay, i'll try then."

"thank you."

"it's no problem, i'll try anything for you."

•••

the school year ended, the pair passing the NEWTs with flying colors and now the only thing they had to worry about was the wedding.

during the first week after their graduation sirius had invited her to stay at his place, an offer that she was quick to decline. her mother was a pain to deal with on a monthly basis already, let alone having to live with her for as long as it took until their wedding came.

instead she agreed to come by his place, keep him company all the whilst plan out the final details of the wedding. after coming over for half of july she had grown quite used to his spacious room, with its many plastered posters and pictures that left only little of the walls' silvery-grey silk visible.

now she sat, kicked back on his bed while sirius stood ranting, filling her in on everything his mother had said when she was absent. she thought of anything and everything she could say to reassure him. after a while she stopped him, patting the empty spot besides her for him to take.

for a moment she remembered just how close they were now, not even a year ago she was denying him a seat at her table and now she sat comfortably on his bed as if it was of her own. "do you want me to fight her for you?"

"what?" sirius cracked out a smile.

"she's you know- she's the most unloving, conservative woman i've ever met," she confessed, "but i suppose being married to your cousin does that to you."

sirius chuckled, feeling slightly better by listening to her shit talk his mother. god he hated that woman. "[name], you're absolutely amazing but her being inbred was so unnecessary to bring up."

"like you have a say in this sirius." she gave him a look that he knew was her ridiculing him, causing him to grin. "you're a product of their work."

sirius cringed, feeling disgusted by her insinuation. he then cleared his throat, remembering why he had invited her over in the first place. turning serious, he said carefully, "there's something i've been wanting to ask you."

"what is it?" she prompted him, letting him know that she was listening and for him continue on with his words.

"can i kiss you?"

and before sirius knew it, he was rambling, "for when they announce us as man and wife i just- i wanted to know if you were okay with it before it's time and i kiss you without you being fine with it, i don't want to make you uncomfortable, you've already done so much for me-"

"you can." she cut him off with a small smile, one that brought him nothing but comfort. "it's okay sirius, you can kiss me."

"thank you for asking," she added after a minute.

sirius gazed at her, a small smile breaking onto his face. his eyes glancing down to her lips then back up to her eyes. he knew that she was watching him, watching how his eyes were lingering onto her lips like a tattoo kiss.

there was a cough by the door, making them both turn their attention to it. regulus stood awkwardly, shifting his weight; with his eyes wide, he spoke, "mother sent me."

"she wanted me to make sure that you guys weren't-" regulus let out another cough "-having sex."

•••

august seventh came sooner than she would've liked, maybe it was for the better, having it be over sooner. or maybe it was for the worse, not having been ready to see herself settle down yet. but she knew —despite her doubts— that the show must go on. keeping an even head she breathe in, feeling the air in her lungs before letting it go. it was time.

"are you ready?" eric asked, helping make last adjustments to her wedding dress. "no." she huffed honestly, hearing the orchestra music begin even behind the large door. eric smiled softly at her, letting her father come to her side, "well it's too late now."

she took a deep breath, the doors opening on its on accord in a dramatic manner. charmed rose petals pelted at her feet as she took her steps forward. she  took a moment to look around at who was gathered, and where, but she barely recognized them. a large majority of the people were ones who came to honor the noble house of black name's while the other half were distant family and friends that her mother had invited.

down the isle sirius stood, james, regulus, remus, and peter by his side. watching her walk with clouded eyes, she beamed at him, playing with the bouquet in her hands. when she arrived in front of him she noticed his watery grey eyes. as quietly as she could, she commented, "you're crying."

"i am," he said, agreeing. "i told you i'd try anything for you."

the music cut out, the ceremony was starting. the pair shared cheeky smiles as they listened to the officiant drone on and on, following the normal wedding procedures until it was time for them to recite their vows.

"with this hand i will lift your sorrows. your cup will never be empty, for i will be your wine. with this candle, i will light your way into darkness. with this ring, i ask you to be mine."

sirius slipped a golden band around her finger first, her repeating his actions not long after. sirius stepped forward, his shoes touching her's. leaning down slightly, he pressed his lips onto her, his right arm finding its way on her waist and tugging her ever closer to him.

his cheeks were wet, presumably from the tears he had had. she kissed back, melting underneath his touch. sirius smiles into the kiss, a feeling that she knew she'd never forget. the kiss breaks: her pulling away from him, feeling flustered. and then it was official, they were married, this was just the beginning of the end.

•••

"where should we go for our honeymoon?" she asked suddenly, surprising sirius. they were once again in his room, this time alone, the door close with no regulus standing by to make sure they weren't up to something. "since we're married and all now, i think i deserve a break."

sirius thought for a second, laying down on the cold hard wood floor, a place that he somehow had found solace in. "we have a home in paris if you want to go."

"paris sounds nice," she mumbled. her gown was still on her, having come to his room immediately after the recessionals. she was to live with him now, husband and wife after all. staying with sirius, in his room, alone, for roughly a month, won't be so bad. will it?

"it does," he concurred, "do you want to go?"

"maybe," she said, unsure. "gosh this is awkward."

"what's awkward?" he asked, looking puzzled. from his position on the floor, his eyes searched for her. finding her on his bed, sat with her knees pressed to her chest, looking down at him.

"us right now." she answered, straightening out her legs. he frowned then, even more confused. "the people who attended probably thinks we're going at it right now but we're sat here talking about paris."

"we can go at it if you want," sirius said, sitting up. at the roll of her eyes, he smirked, "i'm not denying you anything, it seems as though i can not."

she threw a pillow at him, one that he expertly caught with one hand. she felt her neck heating up, whether it was from the drinks she had or his words she could not tell. "you're insufferable you know that?"

"i'm anything you want me to be my love."

"stop it or i'll punch you in the throat," she warned. watching as he stood up from his spot and made his way to the empty side of the bed, sirius laid down, inching himself closer to her every second. "are you... trying to seduce me right now?"

"maybe," he murmured, finally landing his head on her thighs, the tool of her dress providing him a sense of cushion. "is it working?"

"no," she answered, giving him a smile that was meant to ridicule him but all it did was make his smirk grow more narcissistic.

"why did you never join the quidditch team?" her hand found it's way into his hair, twisting round the onyx curls. "you were really good at it you know? i saw you sub in during james' practices."

sirius shut his eyes, leaning into her touch when her hand landed on his scalp, scratching it lightly. "i didn't want to compete."

"with who?"

"regulus," he answered softly, "we weren't on good terms when he joined the team and i could not bring myself to handle seeing him. especially not during a time where we were to compete for who would be greater."

"oh." her hands paused its movements on its own accord. "i never thought of it like that."

she thought about him?

"well i also never thought of us going at it until you mentioned it minutes ago," he retorted, earning himself a slap on the arm. good godric, he loved drunk [name]. "the offers still stands you know?"

"baby i wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth."

sirius cheeks grew pink at her choice of nickname, never once in their roughly eight months long relationship had she called him anything but sirius or black. she noticed it, smiling when she leaned down to face him. "you like being called baby don't you?"

and —for the first and last time ever, sirius told her to, "shut up."

•••

"the man has mummy issues, of course he likes being called baby," eric scoffed. avril laughed, joking at the expense of her friend's husband. "i wouldn't be surprised if he lets you boss him around in bed."

"alright that's enough," she stopped him, hiding a smile. "my lack of sex life should not be the topic of today's conversation. lily here is literally getting married."

"no, no," lily protested, dismissing the topic change, "i'm more fascinated about you and sirius than james' proposal to me."

"seriously?" she asked incredulously, her eyes moving to everyone around the table for at least one person to be on her side. "i feel like i've said this way too much but in case you've forgotten, i married sirius for his money, i don't like him that way and vice versa. me and sirius haven't slept together."

"but you want to," marlene pointed out, taking a sip of her wine. helga, how did a dinner celebrating lily's engagement turn into them trying to prove that she was in love with her husband. "i can see it in your eyes."

she sigh, defeated. they weren't going to believe her words so what's the point in trying to deny it any longer. lily, seeing her expression shifted the topic, telling them about how she had already made an appointment for herself to go dress shopping and that all the ladies were invited.

the rest of dinner went on smoothly, all of them catching up with one another. spending the night switching from topics to topics, eric's love life didn't escape their conversation, being the only man in the group and all. the former ravenclaw boy had found someone who was kind to him, and from his description, the complete opposite of him but then again, they do say opposite attracts.

after bidding goodbyes, they went on their separate ways. after walking to an empty alley way with avril, she hugged her goodbye before flicking her wand, apparating herself back into sirius' room.

sirius who heard the unmistakable crack, sat up straight, wiping his eyes with his sleeves just as she noticed him hunched over on their bed. her faced turn to one of concern, standing in front of him, cautiously she asked, "what's wrong?"

"nothing," sirius answered, smiling up at her.

she frowned, taking a seat besides him. "not to be a dick but you're a terrible liar."

sirius laughed watery, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "it's just walburga, you know?"

"she did something again?" she asked, clearly not surprised by the news.

at his nod she carefully wrapped her sirius in her embrace. it was weird, hugging him, the most they've ever done was kissed and that was under the pretense of marriage. she's seen him angry, sad, frustrated, and disappointed over walburga but had never once seen him crying. she did not know how to comfort him but she sure as hell will try.

"do you want to talk about it?" she felt his head shook, feeling his tears dampening up her shirt. instinctively, she leaned down, pressing a kiss on the crown of his head. her voice was soft, whispering reassuring words in an attempt to calm him down. 

his breathe steadied enough for him to speak, sirius lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her with embarrassment. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay," she said lightly, "it's what having a wife is for right?"

there was a small smile on his lips, feeling relieved to have her presence besides him. with a small laughed, he repeated, "i'm sorry you had to see that."

giggling slightly, feeling better about how the mood having been slightly lifted, she quipped, "i don't mind it, seeing a handsome guy cry had always been in my bucket list."

sirius paused, eyes bloodshot red, "you think i'm handsome?"

"are you still sad?" she asked slowly.

"yes?"

"i always thought you were," she answered, watching him lower his eyes awkwardly, a small smile finding its way to his lips.

"what if i said no?" he questioned timidly, his voice coarse.

"the i would've lied and said you're the most mediocre looking man i've ever seen."

•••

"you and sirius looks like a couple," regulus mumbled, pushing his brother's leg over to make room on the couch.

she turned to him, the heat of sirius' hand around her waist getting warmer and warmer as she thought about her brother's in law comment. "what kind of couple?"

sirius kept quiet for a moment, gazing at her seductively.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"like what?" he said innocently, giving her his best doe eyes.

"like you're flirting with me."

"i'm flirting?" he muttered as if it was new information to him, "flirting with you?" he added, squeezing her waist, his thumb sneaking beneath her sweatshirt, pressing onto her skin. "please don't get me wrong."

"so you're not flirting with [name] right now?" lily asked from her spot on the arm chair, green eyes watching his hands placements.

"maybe i am, maybe i'm not. we're married after all, i need to keep sweeping my darling off of her feet or else she'll fall for someone else," he said smoothly, smirking at lily who then rolled her eyes at him.

over the course of the first month of their marriage, sirius had managed to open his own vault, transfer all his parents trust fund money, found a flat that deemed fit for him and his brother and found a lawyer to begin their divorce's process.

maybe it was all moving too fast but the whole situation had never been taken slowly in the first place. he had asked for her to move in with him and regulus, an offer that she didn't clearly thought through and had accepted. with the help of magic, moving was done within two days which james ended up calling for a celebration. a house party where everyone within their circle was to be invited.

"you shouldn't flirt with people that easily," she commented, stealing his attention back to her.

"and you shouldn't fall for people who flirts with you," he countered, keeping his eyes on her.

"well i didn't! i don't fall for people easily."

"you were just telling me not to flirt with you because you fell head over heels by my beauty when you saw me," he said smiling accusingly, his thumb drawing circles on her skin.

"i didn't tell you not to flirt with me."

"then what did you say?"

"don't flirt with people so easily."

sirius hummed in thoughts, his hand not once stopping it's movement. "so i can flirt with you but not other people. sounds pretty controlling." she looked at him warily, awaiting his next comments. "good thing i like a woman in charge."

"you're ridiculous," she scoffed. eric, who was sat on the floor opposing her, smirked, giving a look that she knew all too well. i was right. pushing herself up and off the couch, she gave him sirius one last look. "i'm filing for a divorce."

•••

the months went by fast, before they even knew it they were halfway through their divorce trial. sirius had filed a no-fault divorce, giving them both equal amounts of legal property. he had served her, and initiated the negotiation process. it seemed as if he was rushing to get rid of her and it would be a plain out lie if she said it didn't hurt her feelings.

"hey," sirius greeted, spotting her read on the couch the moment he entered their flat. "i got you something."

she lifted her head from her book, giving him a questioning look. an expression that sirius took as cue for him to continue.

he shrugged his jacket off, hanging it by the coat stand and dropping his keys in its pocket. he lifted the item in his hand, and made his way to sit besides her. she bookmarked her page, shutting it and giving him her full attention. "what is it?"

sirius only kept quiet, handing it to her, "open it."

she did as she was told, slowly unwrapping the package to reveal a small cake with the words happy anniversary written on it. she looked up him with surprise, smiling. "what is it for?"

"for our anniversary!" he exclaimed, pointing out the obvious.

"sirius our wedding anniversary isn't for another ten months."

"not that anniversary." he shook his head. "it's the anniversary of me sitting besides you despite you saying no."

"you remember that?" she asked with a small laugh.

"of course i remember!" he exclaimed, running a hand through his overgrown hair, "i was so nervous to talk to you."

"you were nervous to talk to me?" she followed up, settling the cake on their coffee table. "why?"

"because i thought you were cool, and i didn't know what to do since i had already asked evans for her help with the whole plan thing and i still hadn't talked to you nor was i certain you'd agree."

"you thought i was cool? and here i thought i was the only girl you were willing to invest in," she teased earning a pout from sirius. "fine fine i won't hurt your feelings today, thank you for this, sirius. i will definitely owl regulus and make fun of you about it later."

sirius lips jutted out even more, giving her his best doe eyes. "i feel like you love regulus more than you love me."

"how could i ever love regulus more than i love you," she said sarcastically. sirius faced turned to one that she could not read. curiously she asked, "what? is there something on my face?"

"no, nothing," he dismissed, still gazing at her.

"than what is it?"

"you said you can never love regulus more than you love me," he said slowly, his own grey eyes drifting between her lips and her eyes. she nodded cautiously, not wanting to overstep him. "prove it then."

"p-prove it?"

"prove it."

"prove what exactly," she said with a short lasting laugh, trying to take some of the tension off of herself.

"prove that you love me more than regulus."

she laughed, thinking that it was another one of his joke that she never fully understood but sirius remained —well, serious, keeping his eyes on her.

sirius was slow with his next action, giving her an out if she wanted it. he made sure to watch for her most minuscule movements, the last thing he wanted to do was mess this up and make her uncomfortable. sirius very casually —even though he felt as though his heart was to explode any second, leaned his head down, capturing her lips with his own.

why did he spent so long denying it when it felt so good to have her by his side he would never know. what he knew was that he liked the feel of her, liked that she was kissing him back, liked that she had seen the worst of him (and his sick family) and chose to stay, like that she was —in the most dysfunctional way possible— his.

when sirius pulled away, the first thing he noticed was how her eyes widened with fascination, which only made him fall deeper into the hole he dug for himself. "was that weird?"

she laughed, snapping out of her trance and shook her head. her hands moving on its own accord when the found its way to his cheeks, feeling weak after the chaste kiss. "no, no, it was fine. amazing even."

sirius smiled in return, feeling relieved that she seemed nowhere near mad at him. "it was okay then?"

"it was more than okay sirius," she reassured him, bringing his face forwards and pressing a kiss to his forehead before she even registered her gesture. sirius turned to the side, hiding his blushing face in her palm but his red ears was no help to his case.

sirius own hand reached up, covering her hand with his and pulled it away from his face. "we should call our lawyers."

"we should. they're not going to like this."

—from bee: i no longer support the artist i’ve chosen to name this fic after but that doesn’t change a thing,,, i still have a song for it hehe

triwizard tournament | james potter

pairing: james potter x reader

genre: fake dating, fluff, angst, pining¿?, OOC james?? basically the plot of goblet of fire if it took place during the marauders era, not proofread!

wc: 7.4K

originally posted on wattpad

"plus, you're incredibly pretty, i'm really not opposed to keep telling people we're together."

"keep?"

"yeah keep." james lifted his head up and looked at her sheepishly. "she's going to run the story which means we'll need to keep the story going, i'll pay you, anything, i'll take you to your favorite shops and buy you whatever you want, just help me with this."

"with what money?"

"with the money that i'll win from the tournament." there's that confidence. "so... yes or no?"

there was a crash somewhere close to her, before she could even look up to find out what the ruckus was about; four boys found themselves around her seat.

"i'm so sorry." a voice whispered from her left. "hey! this is my girlfriend, [name]. bug, this is amy reid."

"hi," 'amy' greeted. before she could even wrap her head around what was going on, she smiled at amy, a short brunette woman who looked roughly in her thirties. "how long have you been together?"

"since last year." one of the other boys answered.

"oh." amy turned from the boy and back to her. "how charming young love is."

"so." amy clapped her hands. it was only then did she realized that amy had someone following after, short and timid; the boy had a notepad in his hand, jotting everything down word for word. "tell me about your love story."

"my love story?" she repeated under her breath.

amy nodded frantically. "your love story of course, how you met, how you started dating, all that good stuff."

"right." she glanced to her left and was no where near surprised when she realized it was james potter, of fucking course, it was james potter who she was in this situation with. "our love story."

sitting opposite both james and her was sirius and remus with peter hovering behind them. she must've made a face, one that was amusing, seeing as sirius grinned at her once their eyes met.

"well," amy murmured. "it seems as though you don't know where to start." amy turned to the boy behind her before she turned back around. "how did you two meet?"

"we share the same classes." that wasn't a lie. "and i thought she was incredibly pretty so i asked her out." liar. "it's quiet a boring story, actually."

"and you?" amy turned to her. "what did think about james?"

"i thought he was—" annoying, loud, dramatic. "charming." amy seemed to like her answer, smiling as she turned to tell the boy to note it down verbatim. "and he was handsome too so it's a plus."

"isn't that just adorable," amy cooed, then her entire behavior shifts. "so what's your opinion about this whole triwizard tournament thing? are you worried, excited? how did you feel when you found out james would be competing?"

honestly? she didn't really give a fuck. she'd hoped that he won the tournament for hogwarts but she couldn't have cared less. "i was really worried, you know. i didn't want my boyfriend to die."

amy smiled, seemingly satisfied with her answer. "well it was nice meeting you, [name]. all though i've got to catch up with the other two contestants as well, i hope we can meet again soon."

"you too." and with that, amy and her minion left. once she was finally out of their sight, the four boys huffed out a long dramatic breath. "girlfriend, huh?"

james collapsed on the table, hiding his face in his arms. "i'm sorry." was this the confident gryffindor everyone had a crush on? "i panicked and you were the only girl i recognized, everyone else was a third year."

sirius bit his lips, hiding his laughter as james dug his head deeper and deeper into his hands. "plus, you're incredibly pretty, i'm really not opposed to keep telling people we're together."

"keep?"

"yeah keep." james lifted his head up and looked at her sheepishly. "she's going to run the story which means we'll need to keep the story going, i'll pay you, anything, i'll take you to your favorite shops and buy you whatever you want, just help me with this."

"with what money?"

"with the money that i'll win from the tournament." there's that confidence. "so... yes or no?"

•••

amy did run the story. along with the story that she might or might not be one of james many lover —this was because, sirius had thought it would be funny to have the other seventh years tell reid that they've all slept with james (how he got them to agree, she didn't know).

james was the first person she saw the next morning (besides her dorm mates). he invited her to have breakfast with his friend, an invitation that she accepted and had found herself quiet fond of everyone he surrounded himself with.

they were all so . . . gryffindor. and she meant that as a compliment.

james walked her to her first class, then her second, then any other that she had after it. once dinner time came, james was the one who awaited her by the great hall.

"hi," he said once he spotted her.

"hi?" she knew they had to keep up and image but she didn't expect to be keeping it up so constantly. "what are you doing here?"

"waiting for you," he answered, james reached forward for the strap of her bag, taking it with ease and began walking into the great hall. "how was your day?"

"it was good." she then proceeded to tell him how everything went, trailing behind him as she tried to ignore the stares that followed her. "how was yours?"

james opened his mouth, an answer already at the tip of his tongue before he shut it quickly, looking perplexed. he was quiet for a second; feeling so so stupid and stunned. for, the only thing he had thought about all day was her. "it was good."

•••

the first task was coming up and with how nosy the marauders are, it was only a matter of time before they found out what the first task was: "dragons." and peter said this enthusiastically because, it was something he never thought he'd ever see in real life.

"that's easy then," said sirius, digging into some yorkshire pudding. "you can just use the conjunctivitis curse, a dragon's eyes are its weakest point."

"yeah but it could end violently," she pointed out. "what if the dragon lashed out and kills him."

"what about a broom then?" lily suggests whilst passing the salt to marlene. "if he flies fast enough, he'd be able to maneuver his way around."

"around what, though?" remus murmured. "we know that the task involves dragons. but what to do with it exactly, we have no clue."

"no matter what, i stick by it," said lily. "broom stick."

broom stick turned out to be the best method. james had gone last after he picked the hungarian horntail. from behind the tents, james wasn't able to watch his competitors —soren from beauxbatons who had gotten the welsh green and amerie from durmstrang who confronted the chinese fireball— attempts but he knew what he needed to do.

steal the golden egg from the clutches of the dragons they'd picked. james had finished the fastest, maneuvering his way around on his broomstick like lily had suggested.

once the tournament wrapped up, amy reid spared no moment before she started bombarding him with questions. how did you feel? was it ecstatic? how does it feel to be the best? and when [name] went down to see him, why isn't your girlfriend giving you a celebratory kiss?

"uhm—" what the fuck does one say to that "—we're not comfortable with showing much PDA."

amy frowned. "oh c'mon you two look great together, it's only just the couple of us. just a kiss for the front page shouldn't matter."

james looked at her skeptically, pushing his glasses upwards. "i don't think us kissing has anything to do with the task i've just finished."

"it doesn't," amy concurred. "but the viewers wants to know more about to the two of you. you've only said that you were together but no single living person have seen the two of you on a date. we're starting to suspect that you're faking it."

"then kissing wouldn't make a difference," remus chirped in. "wouldn't the viewers just make up some crap about them kissing just for the sake of faking it."

"i suppose they could," amy said, smiling patronizingly. "but why should we risk it when you two are so obviously in love." 

"it's—" remus sputtered but it was obviously that he had no counter argument.

james only shook his head, stopping remus and took a step forward. he leaned in slowly and with his voice low, lips brushing against her ear. "can i kiss you?"

he waited, one, two, three seconds, before she nodded. james head tilted backwards the slightest bit before his lips crashed onto her. his arm snuck around her waist and held onto her, bringing her close to his chest almost desperately. his lips lingered until finally, the camera clicked and he pulled away.

and, with a twist of her stomach, she was bitterly reminded that this was all for show.

•••

"wait—" her desk partner called after her, his hand wrapped around her wrist, halting her in her place. "wait, please."

so she did, she waited and turned to face him. standing six feet tall, looking as bright as a golden retriever, smiling his best smile, and her new desk mate. soren edmé. her 'boyfriends' competitor.

"there's the uhm—" he paused, hand scratching the back of his neck shyly. he was handsome, extremely so, handsome enough to rival dorian gray himself. "the yule ball. would you like to go?"

"together?"

"yes -uhm, yes together." his accent was oddly enough, extremely welsh despite coming from france. "as a date."

fuck. on any other day she'd have said yes with no hesitation, but when you're in a relationship —albeit a fake one, with the competitor of the person who was asking you out on a date. saying yes is just straight out betrayal.

"oh." soren sounded deflated and she hadn't even replied yet, was her face really that expressive? "you already have a date, don't you? potter right?"

at her nod, soren smiled softly, accepting his rejection with grace. gosh, he's basically blond sirius.

soren bit her goodbye, muttering something about the golden egg and quickly rushed to catch up with his friends.

she made her way out as well, meeting marlene in the hallways as she greeted her with a large grin. "guess who just got a date for the yule ball."

"lily?" she teased.

"har har you're so funny," marlene said with a roll of her eyes. "anyways, i asked dorcas and she said yes! isn't that just adorable?"

"it sure is," said lily, joining the two of them as they passed by. "it was getting unbearable with how much you were pining after her."

"anyways." lily handed her wand to marlene and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. "have you gotten a date yet?"

"no, i'm waiting on james to ask." she made sure not to mention a single thing about soren.

"why don't you just ask him?" said marlene easily, handing lily her wand back. "why wait?"

because, she wouldn't be able to handle rejection as elegantly as soren did. "asking's too much work. i'll just wait."

"what about you, lils?"

lily shrugged. "a pretty french boy asked me to go with him," she said easily, once she noticed the look on their faces, she quickly clarified. "laurent, his name is laurent, he's as handsome as his friends. he's nice too, so i said yes."

"so you both got dates then?"

"and you." marlene looked at her with false sympathy. "nothing."

"actually, i got asked—"

"what are you pretty ladies talking about?" cut in james. he had his glasses off, opting them out for contact lenses. why he chose to do so? she didn't know.

"yule ball dates." said both lily and marlene.

james' brows raised dramatically. "really?" ignoring the daggers marlene stated through him. "must've slipped my mind."

"aren't you going to ask her to be your date?" no more subtleties then. thanks lily. "she's your girlfriend, isn't she?"

"about that." james drawled, a hint of a smile lingering on his lips. and as she thought he was going to ask, she watched him patiently. "i'm not going with you."

right.

of course.

why would he?

it's not like they were actually together. this was for show and that was all to it.

one for the money. two for the show. james was getting ready so she should let him go.

she hadn't planned to ask him furthermore. she already knew why he didn't want to go with her but if she had planned to. marlene beat her to it. "why not?"

"don't you need a date to the ball? you're a triwizard champion and all?" lily added on.

"i never said i didn't have a date," said james.

it shouldn't have bothered her, really, it shouldn't have. and yet, she couldn't help but feel —for the lack of better words— stupid for expecting other wise. of course, james potter of all people wouldn't go to the yule ball with her. he was the leading man after all.

"then what's about [name]?" lily asked, eyes wide with offense. "you're just going to leave her alone?"

"she doesn't mind." james turned to her. "do you?"

"no." she shook her head. "it's nothing, of course i don't mind."

•••

"aren't you coming with us?" jolene asked as she got ready to start the day. "don't you need to pick out a dress for the ball?"

"no." not when she had no plans in attending it in the first place. "i don't want to go."

"why not?" jolene moved away from her own vanity and onto her bed. "this happens once every eternity, how can you not go."

"i just—" am dreading seeing james with someone else, dreading being near his mere presence. "—don't want to."

"not a good enough reason," jolene told her. "you're coming with us to buy a dress, and you're coming with us to that god forsaken ball."

jolene was persistent, she knew that for a fact. and now, as she stood in front of rack stacked with pretty dresses, she was once again reminded about just how persistent jolene was.

"how about this one?" she lifted up a blue dress that was mostly made from tool and lace. "it's pretty."

"it also looks like her tits could pop out any second," rose (their other roommate, and jolene's long term girl friend) murmured, dismissing it with a wave of hand. "why don't you just let her pick something for herself?"

"because, she won't," jolene said sharply. "she's convinced herself that she doesn't want to go. where's the fun in that?"

rose's eyes shifted between the two girls, biting the inside of cheek until finally, she stopped. "why don't you want to go?"

"because, i don't want to," she answered simply. when jolene made a face, she felt the need to add on. "and i don't have a date."

"you don't?" rose asked, surprised. "what about potter? he's not going with you?"

"no."

"why not?" jolene sounded infuriated. "what kind of shit boyfriend doesn't take their girlfriend to a ball?"

"it's complicated."

"just how complicated?" jolene followed up. "c'mon, explain," she demanded, sitting down on the shop's many waiting chairs. "we have all day."

so she did. from to start to finish. "jesus," jolene muttered once she finished. "what kind of dick move is that? no wonder i like women."

rose pursed her lips. "what about soren? does he still want to go with you?"

"i dunno," she answered honestly. "and even if he did i don't think i'd be able to go with him, not when i rejected him."

"then you'll go with us," said jolene, standing up. "the three of us can go together."

•••

the entrance hall was packed with students, all milling around waiting for eight o'clock, when the doors to the great hall would be thrown open. those people who were meeting partners from different houses were edging through the crowd, trying to find each other.

jolene had found lily and led her to where rose and [name] were waiting. the oak front doors opened, and everyone turned to look as the durmstrang students entering with their professor. amerie was at the front of the party, accompanied by —oddly enough, peter pettigrew in dark robes that matched her dress.

how the two got together, she'll figure that out later.

she still hadn't seen james or soren, but buried the thought and went into the great hall like the rest of her friends.

the walls of the hall had all been covered in sparkling silver frost, with hundreds of garlands of mistletoe and ivy crossing the starry black ceiling. the house tables had vanished; instead, there were about a hundred smaller, lantern-lit ones, each seating about a dozen people.

they found themselves by one of the many tables, chatting along as they waited for the ball to kick start itself.

once everyone in the hall settled, the champions and their dates walked in in lines. first to come in was amerie and peter —and odd couple that looked honestly cute with one another in a way she couldn't explain. the second to walk through the door was soren and a pretty girl in purple robes.

then —at last, was james potter. and his date. dates, actually. james had brought two dates. his dates who were wearing bright red dresses. ones that matched james' cut for cut. james potter and his dates were wearing the same dresses. james potter was wearing a dress. and so was his dates, sirius black and remus lupin.

"they're taking the piss out of this," jolene cackled loudly, a domino effect that soon spread throughout the hall: each students laughing loudly at the sight before them.

the three boys grinned, —well two really, james and sirius; remus was plain out grimacing— happy to have created such an uproar. searching hazel eyes met hers through the crowd, watching the most minuscule of her reaction with his lips curving upwards.

then he mouthed something, and despite being a shit mouth reader. she thought he told her to: "save me a dance."

the three boys started walking up towards a large round table at the top of the hall, where the judges were sitting.

when all the food had been consumed. dumbledore stood up and asked the students to do the same. then, at a wave of his wand, tables zoomed back along the walls, leaving the floor clear, and then he conjured a raised platform into existence along the right hand wall. a set of drums, several guitars, a lute, a cello and some bagpipes were set upon it.

the weird sisters now trooped up onto the stage to enthusiastic applause; they were all extremely hairy, and dressed in black robes that had been artfully ripped and torn. they picked up their instruments, and came to realize that the lanterns on all the other tables had gone out, and that the champions and their partners were standing up.

the band played a slow song and she could see her friends separating. jolene and rose. lily and laurent. and finally marlene and dorcas. they looked reluctant in leaving her alone but with multiple shakes of her heads, they left towards the dance floor.

"hello." was the first thing soren said once he found her. "can i have a dance?"

she was skeptical, not wanting to steal him away from whoever his date was. soren, seeming as though he'd read her mind, smiled.

"we only came as friend." he told her. "she fancies this guy and wanted to make him jealous. it's the least i can do when the girl i wanted to come with already had a date."

she laughed, the irony of her coming as her friend's third wheel not lost. "poor you."

"poor me," he repeated, smiling charmingly. "now about that dance?"

she opened her mouth, ready to agree when someone came before her. drowning in red tool was james potter, positively beaming.

"hi." james smiled, and she noticed that once again, he had opted his glasses out for contact lenses. "can i have this dance?"

she turned to soren, watching as his face drop. his expression quickly shifts, rose-colored lips tugging into a small smile as he shrugged and sent her off.

at her nod, james' grin widened. offering a hand out, she placed her hand onto it and james made use of it by holding on tightly as he tried navigating the dance floor.

before they had gotten far, soren stopped them by calling out james' name. james turned, so did she, and found the blond looking hesitant.

finally, soren let up. "have you figured out what's inside egg yet?" he asked james directly.

james shook his head, brows knitted. "no."

"you should try putting it in water—" he paused, licking his lips. "—you'll find it very helpful if you did so."

"okay," james murmured, clearly skeptical. "how'd you find out?"

"laurent is very clumsy," soren said off-handedly, his eyes then briefly glanced towards her. "but you should look into it, i think i might need some help when it comes to it."

and with a fond smile, soren left the pair alone. james shook his head, only then realizing that their hands were still intertwined. james didn't make a move to let go, only continuing on his journey to finding the perfect place for their dance.

once they found a good spot, not too crowded and yet not too bare with the music loud enough for them to be able to hear one another. james guided both her hands to his shoulders —bare due to the off the shoulder cut he wore, and placed his hands on her waist.

"you didn't think i would come with someone else did you?" he asked, swaying. "because, quite honestly i couldn't even dream of it. it was you or no one else."

she didn't know what to say. didn't know how to control the fact that his word had sent butterflies to her stomach so she settled for an easy: "really?"

james smiled, and nodded bashfully. "really. it was the only think i thought of when minnie told us about the ball."

"right," she murmured. "but then i had to compete with two pretty lads wearing dresses so i obviously lost."

"obviously." his tone was light and teasing. "how could one compete with this pretty dress?"

she glanced down, finally taking the piece in and giggled. the dress was a bright red, off shoulder, princess dress. he looked charmingly ridiculous save for his handsome face (despite it losing its iconic presence).

"why aren't you wearing your glasses?" she made sure not to step on the tools of his dress as they dance. "you haven't been wearing them for a while now. why the change?"

james shrugged. "why not the change?" with a roll of her eyes, james answered honestly. "because, i thought you'd like it."

"why?"

"a couple weeks back, whilst working with lily at her dorm, i took my glasses of to clean them and mckinnon told me i looked handsome." he stopped for a second, gulping. "i'd thought you'd agree so i started opting for contact lenses instead."

"i guess i did it to impress you."

heart: melted. "james."

"bug," he said in return, using the same pet name he had called her when he first painted himself to be her boyfriend.

"thank you for doing this. i do think you look nice with contact lenses." she smiled, an action that he reciprocated. "but i think i preferred it more when you don't have to worry about your contacts drying up."

"i'll keep that in mind."

•••

"wormie," james called out. "lock the door, will you?"

peter did as told, locking the prefect's bathroom door whilst watching as his friends —sirius and james, to be specific— strip into their swimming trunks with remus, and james' pretend girlfriend standing by the edge of the pool. 

remus had the golden egg in hand, passing it down to james once he settled into the water. the tub was clear for the most part, the group had decided that that was best.

any bubbles would obscure the view of what happens to the egg.

james with the egg in hand, shot her a playful look. "you sure you don't want to come in, bug? the water's very nice."

with her back pressed against the wall and her arms crossed in front of her chest. she quipped, "never have i ever before."

with a final smile, james turned to sirius who was watching them with careful eyes. james then proceeded to slowly lower the egg into the water, scared that this might be soren's plan on ruining james chances in winning.

but james had always been trustful. so once nothing happened after submerging the egg, james' hand reached over to open it and this time —unlike the several other times, the marauders attempted to open it— it did not wail.

instead a gurgling song was coming from it, a song who's word they could not distinguish through the water. "put your head under," remus told them.

sirius and james took in a deep breath, and slid under the surface —and now, sitting on the marble bottom of the tub, they heard a chorus of eerie voices  singing to them from the open egg on james' hand.

come seek us where our voices sound. we cannot sing above the ground, and while you're searching, ponder this we've taken what you'll sorely miss, an hour long you'll have to look, and to recover what we took, but past an hour - the prospect's black too late, it's gone, it won't come back.

"note this down," said james, rising up from the water. peter scrambled to his book bag, grabbing the first piece of paper and quill he could find and waited for james to recall whatever the song was.

it was barely days before the second task, which meant they were running on borrowed time. after dressing as quickly as they could, the five of them began their way towards the library.

they ended the first and second day empty handed, not having a single piece of formation at their aid. the third, which was one day before d-day, was almost repetitive of the last two days. keyword: almost.

as the sun began setting and the five grew tired from the lack of findings, the sight of lily evans and frank longbottom was practically god sent.

lily was the first one to speak, noticing their miserable expressions. "still nothing?"

"nope," james concurred, head buried into his books. "absolutely nothing."

"honestly, after million of years of magic there ought to be at least one or two charms that helps you breathe underwater but there's absolutely none."

"what do you mean there's none?" lily asked with confusion.

"there's absolutely zero." james exaggerated. "we've been here for days and still haven't got a thing."

"do you think maybe you've been looking for it in the wrong books?"

"no." james drawled, then he turned to lily. "do you know something i don't?"

"a few," she murmured. "like the scuba spell and the bubble head charm both of which are used to breathe underwater."

"and gilly weed," frank added.

"brilliant," james said sarcastically. "why have we been here all day when we could've asked this two geniuses. why are you even here anyways?"

"professor mcgonagall sent us to fetch those three." lily pointed to [name], sirius, and peter.

she hadn't done anything wrong if she could recall. so why did professor mcgonagall want to see her?

"why?" sirius asked before she could.

"she wouldn't tell," frank shrugged. "she was looking a bit grim when she asked for you three, though."

"we're supposed to take you down to her office," said lily.

the trio stood, standing side by side. "we'll meet you back at the common room."

when morning came, james had somehow acquired gilly weed by sneaking into one of the many green houses on the school's grown. he put on his contacts —seeing as it would be better for him to not worry about losing his glasses— and hoped for the best.

he remembered a brief conversation he had the night before. frank longbottom was half asleep and half delirious; his words mumbling with one another. "do you know how to swim?" he'd asked.

"yes, no. well— well enough for me to complete this task," james answered.

"okay," frank murmured, nodding off from his bed. "just remember, if you forget how to swim, just wiggle like a worm and you'll be alright."

remus and james shared a look, hiding their laughs. "thanks."

neither sirius, peter nor her had return —or maybe they did but he had missed them. maybe they had gotten back after he'd went to bed and gotten up early for whatever mcgonagall needed. or maybe they hadn't returned at all.

james shrugged away those thoughts as he had breakfast, his head interpreting the song as many way as he possible could.

they had taken something from him that he'd surely missed and he had an hour to retrieve it, if the hour passes and he had yet to retrieve it, whatever it was would be gone.

and now as he stood on the edge of the platform, upset that neither his best friend or girl friend was there to cheer for him, james took a great breath, ate his gilly weed and dived in.

the lake was so cold he felt the skin on his legs searing as though this was fire, not icy water. the first gulp of icy lake water felt like the breath of life, and james realized then that he had grown gills.

james stretched out his hands in front of him and stared at them. they looked green and ghostly under the water, and they had became webbed. he twisted around and looked at his bare feet - they had become elongated and his toes were webbed, too, it looked as though he had sprouted flippers.

the gryffindor smiled to himself; he was partially a merman, brilliant

he swam deeper and deeper —and mentally wondered if he looked like a worm. he turned full circle in the water, the silence pressing harder than ever apainst his cardrums. james thought he must be even deeper in the lake now, but nothing seemed to be moving except for the rippling weeds.

he swam on for what felt like at least twenty more minutes, passing over vast expanses of black mud now, which swirled murkily as he disturbed the water. then, at long last, he heard a snatch of haunting mer-song.

an hour long you'll have to look, and to recover what we took,

he swam faster, and found a large rock emerge out of the muddy water ahead that had paintings of merpeople on it. though terrified for his life, james pushed it aside and swam forward, following the mer-song.

. . . your time's half gone, so hurry not lest what you seek stays here to rot . . .

a cluster of crude stone dwellings strained with algae loomed suddenly out of the gloom of all sides. here and there by the windows james saw faces.

all of which had greyish skins and long, wild, dark green hair. their eyes were yellow, as were their broken teeth, and in, wore thick ropes of pebbles around their necks. they leered at james ,as he swam past, one or two of them emerged from their caves, to watch him better, their powerful, silver fishtails beating the waves with spears clutched in their hands.

james sped up and a strange sight met his eyes.

a whole crowd of merpeople were floating in front of the houses that lined what looked like a mer-version of a village square. a choir of merpeople were singing in the middle, calling the champions towards them, and behind them rose a crude sort of statue; a gigantic merperson hewn from a boulder. three people were bound tightly to the tail of the stone merperson.

[name] was tied between sirius and peter. all three of them appeared to be in a very deep sleep. their heads were lolling onto their shoulders, and fine streams of bubbles kept issuing from their mouths.

james froze briefly, not knowing who exactly he meant to be saving. he cared for the three of them deeply, his two best friends and the girl who had helped him more than he could've asked for.

james shook away his thoughts and sped towards the hostages, half expecting the merpeople to lower their spears and change at him, but they did nothing. the ropes of weed tying the hostages to the statue were thick, slimy and very strong.

he looked around. many of the merpeople surrounding them were camping spears and wondered if he could've borrowed one of their spears but, he knew that they wouldn't let him.

this was his task, he needed to finish it himself.

so james swirled around, looking for anything that would suffice. then it hit him —quite literally, an object hit his head and he turned as quickly as he could to find soren watching him.

the object fell to the bottom and james registered it as a covered butterfly knife, he was unsure what to do with it. what was he playing at?

"get him." soren told him, his voice was clear; the bubble-head charm was useful when it came to this. soren grabbed another knife from his pocket, opening it up to hack at the ropes on [name]'s ankle, when they broke soren spoke once more. "hurry."

so she was what he would've missed most?

when soren left and amerie came, her making quick work at peter's rope. james was reminded that he was soon to run out of time. james dove down, picking up the knife soren had thrown at him and began cutting at sirius' ropes.

once they broke, james wrapped an arm around sirius' torso and began swimming upwards. when he felt his head break the surface of the lake, he pulled sirius up with him.

amerie and peter came up just seconds after, making the crowd in the stands let out a great deal of noise, shouting and screaming, everybody seemed to be on their feet. james had the impression that they'd thought that sirius, peter and amerie might be dead but they were wrong.

sirius expelled a great spout of water, blinked in the bright light, turned to james and said, "i've never had someone make me this wet before."

james ignored him, too preoccupied with the fact that not only was soren's price possession his girlfriend but that soren had helped him twice now. and the lad didn't seem to be expecting anything in return.

he removed his arm from sirius' torso and swam towards the platform. his entire body ached, his previous fish-like feet and hands turned back to their normal state, clearly human as days.

amy reid was quick at rushing towards the pair of them once they rose. asking james question after question about why soren had saved his girlfriend, why soren was looking at her with so much concern and affection as he tried to help her recover from the task, and finally, why wasn't he angry that soren was doing so.

james didn't know for one. and for two, he really had no rights to be angry. she wasn't his girlfriend and as much as they pretended that they were, he could never lie to himself about that. not when he had always been to scared to make a proper move.

"james." her voice was familiar to him, he turned around. she looking at him with wet hair and even wetter clothing. she then pressed a hand to his cheek, turning to gaze at each side. "are you okay?"

james gulped, nodding. "i'm fine, bug." he forced himself not to lean into her touch, warm and welcoming despite the coldness on her fingertips. "brilliant even."

he nodded his head forward, and found soren watching the pair of them; james smiled weakly, an attempt at thanking the blond. "how's he?"

"he's fine," she answered. "he's very ecstatic that he got first place. i think he might implode any second now."

"from what?" seeing her touching james so intimately when she was the thing he'd missed most and yet, he couldn't have her?

"excitement." she told him. "what else would it be?"

•••

as the day of the third task creeps closer and closer, so close that it was a night away. she can't help but feel worried for what's about to come.

the triwizard tournament has quite a record when it came to death. and she really didn't want to see her 'boyfriend', the guy who saved her life —albeit him being the cause of her possible death, and her friend's new girlfriend dying.

still, as the day approaches, all she could bring herself to do was help them every single way possible. james had gathered that the task had something to do with the quidditch pitch so he told soren as a form of repayment.

the five of them —it being her, james, sirius, remus and lily, for peter was helping amerie out— had found themselves in a secluded classroom, practicing spells after spells.

james had been acting mechanically lately, that she noticed. she wondered if it had anything to do with what happened during the second task— more specifically, soren. she decided not to ask, whatever was going on with james was not her problem.

she shouldn't want to know unless he decides to open up to her about it.

"bug." when she started responding to that pet name exactly, she couldn't pin point. "we're just about to leave, aren't you coming?"

"oh." she stood up from where she'd sat. "yeah, 'course."

"on second thought," james murmured, glancing between her and his friends who were stood by the door. "just go on without me, i need to speak to [name] for a bit."

the three bid their goodbye and left. james turned back to her when he could no longer hear their footsteps and almost smiled at the confused look on her face.

"i . . . kind of have to tell you something," he told her, swallowing hardly. "it's just that— the final task is tomorrow and the triwizard tournament is quite notorious for its deaths."

he then continued. "i suppose i'm telling you all this so i wouldn't regret it if something where to happen to me."

as james did everything and absolutely nothing at the same time, she can't help but think that this is it. this is where james decided that he'd used her until she was powerless, that he didn't need her anymore, that this was where it all ends.

and she didn't know/can't differentiate whether she feels happy or miserable over this. or if she felt both. but to her surprise, james confessed.

"i think i like you."

it took her one, two, three seconds to process this. i think i like you. he thinks he likes her. he thinks he fancies me. "what?"

"i lied," james began. "there was a reason i ran to you that day. i didn't know why i chose you then and still don't now but what i do know is that alice was there and we both know she's nice enough to help my lie to reid and yet, i chose you to help me out."

james took in a deep breath. "i couldn't stop thinking about you the days after, i didn't know why but i chose not to dwell on it for two long. and then the ball happened, you look so beautiful that i felt stupid for even considering going without you."

"i should've figured it out sooner but i didn't," he mumbled. "i still haven't figured it out now."

"what i have figured out is that i don't like seeing edmé look at you the same way i look at you. i don't like knowing that he cares about you as much as i care about you. i don't like that he's sure about his feelings for you while i'm not."

she put the pieces together then, it was so nice for him to lay it all out in front her.

"i think i fancy you, bug." he looked at her, really looked at her this time and said, "and i don't know what to do about it."

•••

whoever was running the tournament is a dumbass. who decided that putting a maze in a quidditch pitch was a good idea. who decided that making the final (and probably most important task) almost unwatchable was a good idea.

all she could make out from her seat was some random heads of hair, running round in every direction; all trying to reach the middle where the cup sat prettily on a platform.

both soren and james had gotten head starts. james for being the fastest during the first task and soren during the second.

it was about forty minutes into the task when the crowds started up, murmuring about a champion's return with the cup in hand.

everyone watched with baited breath, each school hoping that their school champion would pass through the maze as if they were the flash themselves.

and after a few more apprehensive minutes, the hogwarts students shoot up from their seats; screaming, yelling, shouting loudly in celebration. chanting the name potter over and over again when james walked out with the biggest grin he'd ever worn in his life.

lily pulled at her hand, leading her way down the stairs and onto the pitch where james stood handsomely, turning from cameras to cameras and to more cameras until he finally spotted them.

her more specifically.

james was practically beaming by then, turning to reid and told her kindly. "excuse me, i need to go kiss my girlfriend."

james passed the trophy to sirius on his way to her and grabbed onto her wrist, he led the way towards a secluded area and before she could even say hi; james had pressed his lips onto hers.

his bottom lips tugged between his teeth when he pulled away, looking at her with nothing but adoration in his eyes. "i won."

"you did," she concurred. "congratulations."

it didn't occur to her then what exactly had happened. they had kissed before, this was nothing new.

"i told you i'd win," he told her. "i'm never wrong about those stuff."

she only hummed, smiling and nodding as she let him take his win.

james, seemingly high on victory, told her almost breathlessly. "you are the most beautiful girl i've ever seen."

her eyes shot to the ground without intending to, mouth dry with no good response. james' hand found her chin, gently tilting her face upwards so he could get a good look at her.

"i like you," james said lowly. "that i'm sure of now. i really really like you, bug."

"and i would really like to kiss you and be your boyfriend for real this time." he finished.

james waited, one, two, three seconds, leaned in and when she made no move in pushing him away, he pressed her lips onto hers. kissing her with so much passion she would've fell if it weren't for him wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her desperately close to his chest, holding her tightly in place.

and this time, this time, she realized that there was no one watching. there was no cameras clicking, no one forcing him to kiss her to prove that it was all real because, this time james is kissing her because he wanted to. because, james was sure he likes her.

—from bee: this fic was one of my longest fic of all time sksksk i love james very much hehe