@dazzlerdrawer Who Knows I Might Be Inclined To Write An Ending Like This For Shae

@dazzlerdrawer who knows I might be inclined to write an ending like this for Shae

A whumpee who, after everything they’ve been through, finally gets to feel loved and soft and spoiled. Not just a jacket when they get a chill, break out the big fluffy blanket. Antibiotic ointment and good sturdy bandaging, even if it’s just a teeny tiny cut. Let them have seconds and thirds and fourths at dinner. Caretaker can afford to give a little overcompensation for their needs, because Whumpee is still relearning the idea that they deserve good things.

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.

Varigo, but the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

I love them so much and botw setting is... *muah* perfect. wait for the hot spring scene

The Dancing Tree, A Cautionary Tale for Parents

This is another nightmare I had that I’d completely forgotten about, until I found this unfinished comic buried in my hard drive today.

In the dream, I was the tree.

Been thinking about Vat7k and I have decided that Varian doesn’t need a romance arc. He’s already got enough going on plotwise with finding the trials and meeting distant family members, so any more would just shove aside whatever Nuru and Yong would have going on.

However, Hugo should have that arc. Him tagging along on the quest and slowly letting himself truly feel again and tangling with all the stuff that goes along with making friends and falling in love while being a double agent? Dat’s the good shit right there.

Meanwhile Varian’s side of it is just, “hey, I’m on a self-discovery roadtrip, so come what may!”, so when maybe a month before the Library he realizes he’s got a crush, he doesn’t freak out or deny it, he’s just in his tent like

And he’s thinking “I’ve been through enough shit in my life, I deserve a simple little thing like this :)”, not realizing that Fate Itself is about to bash him on the head like Gallagher with a watermelon.

(he does start openly flirting with Hugo at this point, but due to a combo of being bad at it and Hugo internally freaking out bc of Everything Else, he doesn’t catch on to what he’s doing)

‘effing Varigo week: Free Day