46/100 Days Of Productivity!

46/100 days of productivity!

Beautiful morning guys!

Today is 9th October and this is a reminder for me:

I’m so proud of me this morning! Just 2 months ago I was in bed almost all the time with joint pain and fatigue… now I’m doing better … in a better place where my days doesn’t include 5 hrs of cooking food… I’m out of my toxic family home… I’m away from my stepmom so she can’t hurt me directly anymore… I’m taking care of my body… I’m making effort to do better everyday…

I don’t have the urge to end my life anymore… that’s a huge progress… no matter how bad it gets I don’t wanna leave anymore… my chronic illness is almost manageable now… I don’t hate my body anymore… I’m starting to love me …

Today:

+ mental health Check

+ Chalmens modele. [1.5, 1'6

+ Paritech - 6.3, 7.1

+ Ansys / Simulink Practice

+ Polemy Application

+ Breakfast

+ lunch + meds + shower

+ EV- drive Study - IP

In fact, it's from that moment that my behaviour starts to escape me, that I am reluctant to assign a meaning to it, and that it manifestly begins to part company from ordinary morality and from ordinary reason, which I thought I shared until then. I hope I have explained clearly enough that I have never had what is called a strong personality; I wasn't one of those people who leave indelible traces in history, or even in the memories of their contemporaries.

God had given me a simple nature, infinitely simple in my opinion - it was more the world around me that had become complex, and now I could no longer deal with the complexity of the world, could no longer deal with the complexity of the world into which I had been plunged, and so my behaviour - and I'm not trying to justify it - became incomprehensible, shocking and erratic.

How to Deal with Manipulators_Psycopaths

This is some useful info from the book I am reading_ Its really thorough and effective...

Some Manipulation Techniques;

Indiscretion.

Early in your relationship, the psychopath reveals personal details (whether true or false) about themselves and encourages you to share similarly private things about yourself, things they will later use against you—for example, “My father always shouted at me, and I hate it when somebody raises their voice.”

Putting the blame on the victim

Regardless of what isn’t working in your relationship, the psychopath will find ways of blaming everything on you.

Indirect insults

Mean criticism that is hidden behind fake concern—for example, “Maybe you should go back to bed, sweetheart. You look a little haggard this morning.”

Insinuating comments or compliments

A way of expressing themselves so ambiguously that you don’t know whether they intended a comment as a compliment or an insult—for example, “You know what, you could earn lots of money as a prostitute!”

Creating guilty feelings

Accusing the victim of being mean or unfair toward the manipulator—for example, “How can you accuse me of that? When I’ve always done everything for you!”

Empty words

Psychopaths don’t place any value in what they say. They can express themselves any way they want depending on the situation—for example, “I love you.” This will keep you calm for the time being, but it doesn’t mean anything, because the psychopath doesn’t love.

Making light of their particular action

The psychopath forcefully convinces you that what they did wasn’t a big deal: “So what, everyone does that, right?” “But nothing happened!”

Telling lies

How to distinguish the lies from everything else is tricky, but if you notice some of the methods listed above, then you can be sure that the psychopath also lies to you. About everything. All the time. Don’t trust a single thing they say. Making light of everything you think, feel, and experience—for example, “You shouldn’t worry about that” or “You must be joking. That wasn’t a big deal at all!”

Charm

Not to be forgotten! The psychopath begins by charming you. They say things you’ve never heard before. And you’ll be enchanted because it feels so good.

Forgetfulness (deliberate, that is)

The psychopath will simply forget to fetch your clothes from the dry cleaner. Or to buy your favorite jam. Or to phone home from the hotel.

Anger

Starting to shout and yell to force you to back down if you stand up against the psychopath’s madness.

Acting the part of the victim

Even though psychopaths can’t feel sorry for themselves, they can play the role of a victim just as well as anybody else—for example, “I’m so stupid, I should have known better than to borrow your father’s car. Look, now I’ve got it scratched in the parking lot. You’ll hate me for this!”

Rationalization

A common defense mechanism, but here it’s used deliberately. It means fabricating a logical explanation for illogical behavior—for example, “All men look at pornography!” or “Sorry I hit you, but I got so angry when you provoked me.”

Flattery

Does that need any explanation? We all know what it feels like when somebody praises our appearance, our body, our intelligence, or our taste. Psychopaths know it, too. Don’t fall for it!

You can take measures to help protect you from predatory people. If you are already in the clutches of a psychopath, then it might be too late. You will need enormous mental strength to break out from his or her hold. However, there are three preventative steps you can take: Increase your self-awareness. Learn how to recognize psychopathic behavior. Decide how much you value your own worth and self-respect.

The wolf singles out one of the sheep from the flock before it rips it to pieces. Make sure that the psychopath doesn’t single you out and isolate you from your loved ones.

What can you do if you happen to run across one of these people? What can you do if you meet somebody who isn’t actually a psychopath but who behaves like a real bastard nonetheless?

You have two choices:

Offer resistance

Leave

Regardless of what choice the manipulator makes, your resistance will initially be met with dodging and shifting as the manipulator tries to avoid responsibility. This could result in a minor war between you, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that it could all end up a dreadful mess. Your relationship could fall apart because your roles are too ingrained in your shared history.

If, however, you succeed in your resistance, the balance of power in your relationship will change. Initially, this can be rather hard to deal with, because it means you will suddenly have far more responsibility. But if you believe in the relationship, it will be worth the effort.

Here is what to do:

postpone your immediate response and allow time to pass between the event and your reaction to what happened. The problem with responding too fast is that you are reacting exactly as the manipulator wants you to.

Repeat the same thing five hundred times if need be. I’ll get back to you on this when I have finished thinking things over. Full stop.

Take responsibility for yourself and your own life and spell it out, loud and clear, when you’re being manipulated.

When you … (describe what the manipulator is doing that you want them to stop doing)

I feel … (describe exactly what sort of negative feeling is created)

If you stopped … (the objectionable behavior) and instead … (describe what kind of behavior you want to see in this given situation)

Then I am going to feel … (describe exactly what feeling you want to have with your partner/boss/colleague/mother or whomever the manipulator is)

You need to say exactly those things in exactly that order. That way your message will be understood and there’s a good chance that the manipulator will actually listen to you. If they’re essentially a reasonable person who has simply gotten stuck behaving in a harmful manner, then you’ll see them change if you use this method.

When the manipulator falls back to their usual tricks—the silent treatment, shouting, cursing, slamming doors, slamming their fist on the table, angry looks, scornful laughter, tears, sulking, nasty comments, sighing, generally ignoring you, threatening you, or whatever it is that your particular manipulator has succeeded with before—then you firmly say, “I understand that you want me to do/not to do that, but your tactic won’t work.”

Some examples: I know that you want me to do the job for you, but your threats won’t work on me any longer. I realize that you want me to go with you tomorrow, but ignoring me and subjecting me to the silent treatment is not going to have any effect. I can see that you want me to do that, but your anger and your swearing simply won’t work any longer. Calmly explain to them: I know what you’re doing and it won’t work any longer. Drop it.

You’re going to establish a sort of rule book for certain parts of your relationship. This is what I suggest you do:

Explain that from now on you are going to make your own decisions regarding what you are, or are not, willing to do in your relationship. In making those decisions, you are going to consider your own needs as well as the needs of others (including the manipulator).

Explain to the manipulator how you want to be treated—for instance, that you want to be treated with respect, as a person who deserves honesty and consideration; that you want the manipulator to show that they value you as a partner (or daughter or lover or whatever). Say straight out that you will not allow yourself to be hurt in your relationship.

Establish a defined framework and limitations. Tell them that manipulation techniques (preferably naming those that you have observed) will not be tolerated. Do not use threats; they will only make the situation worse. Just explain that you aren’t going to take part in any sort of dialogue that includes manipulation.

Ask the manipulator to confirm that you have needs, principles, opinions, and values that—even if they don’t coincide with those of the manipulator—are not wrong. Explain that just because they think they are right does not mean that you are automatically wrong.

Explain that you expect a higher standard in your relationship from now on and that you have established clear limits for your personal integrity.

Finally, ask (perhaps with a friendly smile and gentle eyes) the manipulator to confirm that they’ve listened to and fully understood your message—and that they’re going to make an effort in the future. That’s it. Once again, it’s not likely that the person who has manipulated you, perhaps for years, will simply say, “Sure, no problem.” But if you’ve followed the earlier six steps in your plan to rebuild your personal integrity, this conversation will not come as a complete surprise.

There is always a risk that the manipulator says that’s the end of it and leavesbyou. That could happen, and it proves one thing: It wasn’t about you. Not really. It was about what you could give the manipulator, and now they want that from somebody else. If they can’t live in your relationship entirely on their own terms, they’re not going to have anything to do with you. And that is the answer to the question: Is this relationship really worth investing in?

Remind yourself of what you’ve learned in this book. If a person has earned your trust, make sure they haven’t earned it for life. What this (undoubtedly very lovely) individual did three months ago isn’t worth anything if they suddenly start to treat you badly today. Always evaluate people by their current behavior, not their earliest.

From _

Surrounded by Psychopaths: How to Protect Yourself 

Book by Thomas Erikson

43/100 days of productivity!

Traction fonce + energy_charmers module

Pariech_ module 5 finish

EV DelftX - 1.3

Reading for fun_30

Lunch+meds+shower

Talk to family

No self-hatred

Im not feeling well… I feel particularly weak today

Note to self:

Take it easy today, and focus on nurturing yourself.

Even in discomfort, I find peace and resilience.

I release any tension and embrace the process of healing with grace.

I am worthy of rest, care, and compassion.

42/100 days of productivity!

Today’s focus:

Current State of the Electric Vehicle Markets in Europe_pariTech

EV module (5.3, 7.1)

Chalmers module (1.3, 1.4)

Vehicle Dynamics Blockset

Electric drive reading

Journal

Go on a Walk

Take meds and eat lunch+shower

Finish Serotonin_100 pages

Polemi Application _30 mins

positive affirmations:

I am resilient, and I rise to every challenge with strength.

My hard work is creating opportunities for me.

I have the power to create change in my life and in the world.

I am constantly improving, learning, and growing.

I focus on progress, not perfection.

My dedication and focus will lead me to success.

I am in control of my journey and embrace it fully.

Each day, I move closer to my dreams.

I trust the process and believe in my ability to succeed.

I am worthy of all the good things coming my way.

45/100 days of productivity!

Beautiful day beautiful people 🥰

Note to self:

Everything is going to be okay, I promise. I believe in you completely. You’re not alone in this, and no matter how heavy things feel, brighter days are coming. You’re loved, and you’re enough exactly as you are.

To-do:

Module 6.1,6.2_paritech

Goal setting _10 days

E_drive _1 p

Vehicle Dynamics blockset_1p

Ansys _1p

Polemi _1p

Lunch+shower+meds

Walk