The Apple.

The Apple.

Summary : You go to a store with Dazai, Atsushi, and Ranpo. Dazai chooses to be a dumbass.

TW : Crack

A/N: I saw something on Pinterest and got a really stupid idea, please forgive me for this.

It was a typical day in your daily life, you had some plans with your co-workers to go shopping. All of you had just exited a shop, trying to be fast about it too. Just a few moments earlier Dazai, your co-worker, the Demon Prodigy, former Port Mafia Executive, the forever pain in Kunikida's side, had just taken a bite out of a display apple.

While all of you were roaming the store, looking at the different items on display, Dazai picked up an apple in a basket. As he inspected the apple he thought to himself how it seemed a bit lighter than normal. Shaking off the thought, he shrugged slightly opening up his mouth and taking a large bite out of it.

"DAZAI, WAIT-!" Atsushi screamed, startling the other customers in the store as well as yourself. You flinched slightly at the loud noise, turning around to see Atsushi trying (and failing) to take the apple away from Dazai. Ranpo stood beside you, chuckling at the scene of the two. The staff did not share his enjoyment.

It could be said, in a way, that Dazai won. Atsushi did manage to get the apple away from him, but not after he had already taken a large bite. The little menace even swallowed it, going on about how it might finally be the thing to kill him. Atsushi was looking awfully worried about the situation, where as Ranpo was simply entertained, happily licking his lollypop.

The four of you walked out of the store, right before the staff had the chance to kick you out.

"So where do we-" Atsushi was suddenly cut off by Dazai, right before he could ask where they would go.

"I say we go to an art gallery!" Dazai yelled, smacking is hand in Atsushi's face. The tiger boy tried to pry his hand off, letting out a quiet "mph-!" as he struggled.

"Why? So you can eat more display props?" Ranpo replied, looking at Dazai almost dumbfounded.

"It didn't taste that bad..."

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A/N : This was just a lil drabble I thought about so here you go :>

Dazai would do the weirdest things on a daily basis and the rest of the agency would just be divided in two groups

1: The people who are trying to fix whatever he fucked up.

2: The people laughing their asses off at the fight between Dazai and the people trying to stop his bullshit.

(Lil chaotic drabble of Dazai being a dumbass)

It was a quiet afternoon in the agency office, since it was the start of October, there was a slight chill in the air. Some people had already started setting up for Halloween, even thought it was still fairly early in the month. Yosano walked back into the office, holding a tray of pumpkin spice latte's she had gotten for her and her co-workers during her break (With a additional hot chocolate for Ranpo). People walked over, gratefully thanking her for the drinks.

After handing out the drinks to everyone in the room, she got quite confused. Had she bought too many drinks? Yosano still had 3 drinks on the tray, one of them being for herself. Almost as if some other worldly being had heard her thoughts; there was a scream that came from another room in the office.

Everyone lifted their heads from the paperwork stacked on their desk, looking at each other on concern before jumping out of their seats. Kunikida was the first one there, already fuming at the fact someone had made such a loud noise it disrupted his workflow.

The first thing you saw was the blood. It was spilling out into the hallway, a dark crimson slowly coating each of the tiles on the floor. The second thing they noticed, was a terrified looking Atsushi. He looked to had fallen backwards, right infront of the supply closet. Atsushi looked at the inside of the closet in pure shock and terror in his eyes, making everyone fear for what might lie inside.

As the seconds go by with everyone staring, they start to hear. . . laughing? An almost evil sounding cackle was coming from inside the closet, thats when Kunikida stalked over to see what may be there.

The moment he looked inside, all he saw was Dazai. Dazai had dressed in a half-assed excuse for a Halloween costume and covered himself in fake blood. All of the other agency members moved to get a better look at Dazai, he had now wrapped his arms around his stomach, presumably from laughing so hard. The longer Dazai laughed, the more red Kunikida's face got, about ready to beat the shit out of Dazai.

In no time, Kunikida started telling off Dazai (who didnt seem to be listening), about how that was a stupid prank to pull. Meanwhile, all of the other agency members had join Dazai in his cackling fit, Yosano and Kyoka, helping Atsushi off the floor while laughing. Needless to say, nothing much got done after that.

headcanon that 15!skk were those teenagers who just stole shopping carts and left them in random places. Dazai would convince Chuuya to ride in the cart then repeatedly run the cart into walls.

Actually, they wouldn't stop at just taking the cart from the store and leaving, they'd do this shit in the store.

.・゜゜・Rainy Days・゜゜・．

Genre: Fluff! Summery: What you do with different bsd men on rainy days!

bsd charcters x gn!reader Characters: Atsushi, Dazai, Sigma A/N: I'd been meaning to write this for a while, but got inspired by my favorite writer on here @soysaucefu when I saw they posted! If your seeing this, I love your work a lot, it always entertains me and make me smile after a bad day<3

⎯⎯ ୨ Atsushi ୧ ⎯⎯

Jack Stauber - Rain Instrumental

The day had been slow a foggy, one of those days where everyone seemed to be a little bit sleepy. The drowsiness encasing the city of Yokohama, as the downpour of rain continued to fall. You could hear the droplets fall on your roof, beating down in a constant thrum of sound. From inside your cozy apartment, all you could hear was the sound of Atsushi's soft snores. You had both been laying down for about an hour now, snuggling under the covers, as the sound of soft rain and his scent engulfed your senses.

You smiled to yourself, as the man Infront of you shuffled slightly in his sleep, grabbing your waist in an effort to pull you closer to himself. You went to scoot a little closer to him, tensing a bit when you notice Atsushi had started to stir from your movements. He scrunched his nose, as his eyelids started to flutter open. You mutter a quiet "sorry" as he stares at you with tiredness in his eyes. You watch as he starts to form a drowsy smile, moving closer to you and stuffing his face in your chest. Moving your arms to hug his head, you let out a content sigh, closing your eyes a listening for the steady thump of Atsushi's heartbeat. As you lay there, only the soft noise of rain and beating hearts, you a hear something quiet and muffled.

"Pardon?" You asked, looking down as his head, his face still stuffed in your chest. He pulls back a bit to look up at you, a shy smile and light blush dusting his cheeks. "I love you." He repeated, his smile growing wider. Looking down at him, his face still close to your chest, you feel yourself blush as you smile back. The soft rain patters from outside your shared apartment, no but the two of you listening as you whisper those four words to him.

"I love you too."

⎯⎯ ୨ Dazai ୧ ⎯⎯

Landscape With a Fairy - aspidistrafly

It was a rainy day, the skies had been dark all day, making for a pretty drowsy atmosphere. Both you and Dazai had just clocked out of work, sharing an umbrella between the two of you while walking home. You had been talking about random subjects, not really paying too much attention as you walked, simply enjoying each others company. There was a constant pitter, as the rain drummed against the umbrella Dazai held. You had been talking about a cute stuffed animal you had seen while in a shop the other day, when suddenly,

"It was so soft, and had the cutest- Hey-!" Dazai had suddenly thrown the umbrella to the side. Only then had you realized you were passing through the park. The both of you had walked through it so many times everyday, it hadn't even crossed your mind until now where you were. The park had a small water fountain in the center, surrounded with pots of plants. There were gray bricks lining the ground beneath your feet, as you watched the discarded umbrella skid along them, soon coming to a halt. You look up to Dazai, who now had a mischievous grin plastered along his face.

"Care to dance belladonna?" He says, holding his hand out for you to take. For a moment you only stare at him, taking in the way the rain droplets stick to his hair and run down his face. He looks so pretty in this moment, all you can do is nod and take his hand. You position yourself with one hand on his shoulder, and the other in his. Dazai pulls you closer by your waist, looking into your eyes with a wide smile across his face. You both begin to waltz, Dazai lightly humming a tune you cant quite pinpoint. You smile as he gently spins you, pulling you back in after. He continued you dance you around in the rain for who knows how long, people passed by now and then, making judging glances at you. Neither of you cared, only being happy to be with the one you loved most.

Dazai smoothly moved his hand, sliding it from your waist to your back, as he dipped you. You both had been smiling wide, slightly panting as your faces closed in, nearly an inch away. Swiftly, you moved your arm to the back of his neck, closing the distance between you and him. In that moment, nothing else seemed to matter, the world melted away as you kissed Dazai in the rain.

⎯⎯ ୨ Sigma ୧ ⎯⎯

In Two - Will Paquin

It had been one of the few days Sigma had gotten off from work in a while, both of you had just been sitting in your shared bedroom, talking about what you could both do for the day. While Sigma had been talking about some random idea, you found yourself at the grey clouds outside. They looked like rain clouds, it brought you back to happy memories of your childhood. You thought, about when you would go out to play in the rain, how joyful it was. You were pulled away from your thoughts, when you found a hand Infront of your face, Sigma had been snapping his fingers to get your attention.

"Hey, Y/n! Are you even listening" He spoke, having a bit of an annoyed expression on his face. Sigma had sparked an idea in you, you grabbed his hand in both of yours, "We should go play in the rain!" You exclaimed, with a huge smile on your face. Sigma only looked at you like you had gone crazy, "why would we do that?" He questioned nervously. "Because, you didn't get to do that as a child. So now we can do it together!" When you had said that, in such a happy tone at that, who was he to say no to you?

About an hour later, you both found yourselves down in Yokohama. Both of you were dressed in yellow raincoats, with matching rainboots. You began to run around, splashing in puddles, as your boyfriend simply stood there. He looked confused as to what you were doing, you only smiled at him and tried waving him over. "C'mon, Sigma! Come jump in the puddles with me!" You yelled, only to be met with a stare back from him, he walked over to you in a somewhat cautious manner, "What's even the point of this?" He says looking at you skeptically. You try to stifle a laugh, "To have fun! Try just splashing in the puddle?"

Sigma lets out a sigh, lifting up his leg to splash in the puddle. With a slight grumble he brought his leg down, making the water splash and ripple when colliding with his foot. Right after Sigma's foot met the water he seemed to freeze, bringing his leg up again, repeating the action. You saw a small smile brighten his face, as he began jumping around in the puddle, creating bigger splashes each time.

From then on, whenever you would get the chance, both you and Sigma would go out to play in the rain. Of course you never told anyone, it would ruin his manager reputation. It was your little secret, for the both of you to make memories, together.

♡ ˚Day Off With Ranpo˚ ♡

Summary : Both you and Ranpo get a day off from work :D

A/N : Sorry I haven't posted in a bit, school hit me like a truck. There may be spelling/grammar mistakes, I was kinda tired while writing this. If there are any mistakes, please feel free to let me know! I also take any constructive criticism! :D

Working at the ADA took up a lot of time. With either being in the office or out on missions, people there rarely got time off. Although, luck for you it was one of those days. Both you and Ranpo had gotten the day off of work and came to a mutual decision to stay home, eat snacks, and play games all day.

There was sunlight spilling through the window, stating to get brighter as the the sun rose. Signaling the beginning of a new day, the bright light that found it's way into your room, washing over your face. The golden light brought you out of your slumber, your eyes blinking a few times to adjust to the room. As you blinked to sleep from your eyes, bringing a hand to your face and gently massaging your eyelids in n attempt to wake yourself up. As the seconds passed, you looked around the room, quickly growing confused. The night prior, you had gone to sleep holding our raven haired boyfriend in your arms. But as you no looked around, the was nothing Infront of you. Growing somewhat worried, you try to roll over, wondering if he got up and moved. Only to find out you couldn't get up, something holding you down by your waist. Tentatively, you lifted up the blanket infront of you, hearing a whine from the culprit trapping you.

"Heyy, It's cold!" Ranpo complains, pulling himself closer to you. The raven haired man had his eyes shut tightly, squeezing your mid-section tightly as he tried to cling to any warmth he could find. His hair had grown messy from being under the blanket, the tangles falling over his face.

"Why didn't you just change into something warmer?" You say letting out a half hearted grumble struggling to escape from his grip. You didnt want to admit it, but you really had to go to the bathroom. And the more time it took to get out of his hold, the more you had to go. Almost like he could read your mind, Ranpo mumbled in a sleepy voice,

"You can last a few more minutes... Just let me stay here a little longer.." Now growing annoyed, you lifted up the blanket to see his face again, causing another whine and half hearted complaint to come from him.

"How dare you bring this much disrespect to the worlds greatest detective..." Ranpo grumbled out, peering up at you trough half lidded eyes.

"Yeah, well I have to pee. So, the world's greatest detective better move before I force him to." You demand, glaring at him while he continues to cling to you. Ranpo only pauses for a moment, seemingly thinking it over. Only to tighten his arms around your waist, and look up at you with piercing green eyes.

"Make me." That was the final straw. Putting your hands on top of his head you try to shove him off, but to your dismay he doesn't move in the slightest. The shoving continues for a while, until eventually you manage to slip from Ranpo's grasp.

Letting out a triumphant, "Aha!" You stand next to the bed, breathing heavily after the tussle of trying to get up. The detective on the other hand, was now laying sprawled out on the bed, his bottom lip pushed out in a pout.

"I'll be back in a few minutes" You say with a sigh, almost feeling bad for Ranpo. Never the less, you needed to get up, sauntering over to the bathroom. The latch makes a small click as you shut the door, doing your business and washing your hands after. While you were at the sink, you picked up your cleanser, gently massaging the substance in your hands until it was lathered. As you began putting the soapy white bubbles on your face, you heard a quiet thud on the bathroom door. For a few moments you only stared at the door, waiting to see if the noise would repeat itself. With growing confusion, you washed the soap from your face and dried your hands. You took quick strides toward the door, forcefully opening it. The door swung open, and the moment it did your boyfriend fell on the floor infront of you. You stare down at him, a deadpan expression on your face as you do.

"What are you doing..?" You ask in a questioning voice. He only stares back up at you for a few seconds, his eyes were open from the surprise of the fall.

"I was waiting for you to come back." Ranpo replies, like he had just said the most obvious thing in the world. He sat up, turning himself around so he can look at you while sitting in the doorway. You only stare back at him completely dumbfounded, just deciding to go with it instead of questioning it further and just change the topic instead.

With a sigh you ask, "So what did you want to do today?" When it comes to activities, Ranpo almost always chooses what you do, it's something you've sort of learned to except. Even if you pick what you were both going to do, he somehow always gets his way in the end.

Ranpo puts his hand on his chin, thinking for a few seconds before looking up at you. "What if we just stayed in today? We could just eat snacks and play games all day!" He exclaimed with a wide smile, the contagious smile soon spreading onto your face. You nodded in agreement, the idea of staying in and having fun all day sounded amazing to you.

"I'll get the snacks!" You let out a content sigh, watching as Ranpo jumped up from his spot on the floor, running out of the room. Walking out into the kitchen, you find him holding a pile of snacks in his arms. There were so many snacks cradled in Ranpo's arms, you couldn't even see his face anymore. Only his messy hair was visible, peeking above the array of different packaging.

You let out a chuckle, watching him try to maneuver around the room, not being able to see very well. "I'll set up the games!" You spoke, moving yourself into the living room. When you got there, you turned on the tv, then the controllers. Pressing a few buttons to make sure they were charged, the controllers light up indicating they were on. Just as you set them down, there was a loud rustling behind you. Turning around, all you find is Ranpo who has decided to leave the pile of snacks on the floor in a pile.

"Why not put them on the table?" You ask, thinking that the coffee table in the middle of the room, would be better than the floor beside the couch.

"Because with my ultra deduction, I know that if we put it there we'll spill the drinks!" Ranpo said proudly, resting his hands on his hips. This made you think for a moment, being amazed because you had just been wondering about getting drinks a few seconds earlier. Nodding in agreeance, you respond with a quick "Touché"

You sat down on the couch, getting comfortable as you pulled a blanket over yourself. Ranpo was quickly at your side, sitting down next to you and leaving a kiss on your cheek. A light blush quickly finds its way to your face, a burning sensation making itself known on your cheeks and ears. "What was that for?" You mutter, half embarrassed by the sudden affection. "I just wanted to surprise you! It seems it worked well!" He smiles widely, bringing both of his hands up to cup your cheeks. He begins leaving small kisses all over your face, finally ending up with his lips a few inches away from yours. "You're amazing" He mutters, lips finally connecting with yours. The kiss was soft, you indulged in it, letting your eyes fall closed. Your hands slowly made their way to his hair, gently cradling his head as you kissed him. Before long you pulled away, letting out soft pants while you tried to bring the air back into your lungs.

When you look at him, he's wearing a wide grin. As you sit there looking at him, all you want to do is preserves this moment with him. Loving the way his messy black hair perfectly frames his face, or how his grin seems so happy and genuine. You guys will always bicker over stupid things, but in this moment, you knew without a doubt, you loved him.

list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you ! get to know your mutuals and followers !

My friends

Hearing about interests people are passionate about

Bonding with people over mutual interests

physical touch

Writing

This made me really happy and I'm so happy I have the chance to pass this around to more people :D