Everyone In Gravity Falls Could Tell A Pines From A Mile Off. How Could You Not?

Everyone in Gravity Falls could tell a Pines from a mile off. How could you not?

Everyone knew that a Pines had masses of red hair, sometimes orangey and curly, sometimes darker red and wavey.

It wasn’t just playing spot the ginger either, because everyone knew that Pineses were all to a person giant. This was a family where six-even was almost freakishly small.

And they were loud and there were a ton of them and they knew all the best places in the forest and-

Listening from his booth at Greasy’s, Dan couldn’t help but shake his head a little. It seemed to him, that people forgot that the Pines twins were on the shorter side, hair soft brown, and a family tree that was more like a branch on a sapling.

And most of all, that people forgot that those were the exact same things they used to say about the Corduroys.

The waitress, under the watchful eye of Lazy Susan who had retired…. to manning the coffee station behind the counter, put down a plate of pancakes, and Dan dug in.

Yes, he remembered all the jokes from when he was growing up, how you could tell a Corduroy- the hair and the height and the smell of pine resin. And sure, there were scraps in school or in the bar or after church if someone overstepped, but for the most part Dan didn’t mind it. He was proud to be a Corduroy. As long as there had been Gravity Falls, there had been Corduroys. His pa had certainly not been one for book learning or mawkishness, but he made damn sure everyone of his boys (and girl) knew which buildings in town were made by them, what parts of the woods could only be logged by them.

Them. Theirs. Ours.

Those Pineses were Corduroys damnit, Corduroys through their dad and-

Dan took another bite of pancakes and shook his head slightly.

And he was being, as Wendy would most likely tell him, ridiculous.

After all, his family had basically thrown Henry away like trash to the curb. Their fault someone else had snapped him up instead.

(He regretted very little about his life, but the one sin that he would take with him to the grave was not getting that boy out earlier. April would have. Tyler would have.

Dan wished he had their courage.)

So what if his grandchildren got lumped into the Pines family sometimes? It happened to the triplets too, especially when they were out with him and Tyler. So what if Mabel and Dipper and Stan weren’t from here? They had certainly been around long enough, put down roots, hell put their lives on the line for this fucking town. 

At the end of the day, what really mattered was his family, in good health and good spirits. The secrets of the forest, Mother Corduroy’s house with that damn pool that attracted gnomes, the little stories that only his family knew and kept alive- those would all pass down, go to the next generation, didn’t make no matter what last name was attached. 

“Hey pumpkin!”

Dan looked up to see Tyler slide into the booth across from him. There was silver in his handlebar mustache now, and his shorts went down to his knees instead of mid-thigh, but he was still the same man Dan had married years ago.

“Sorry I was late, we had a little kerfluffle at City Hall- ever since the unicorns started voting, they’ve been nothing but trouble!” The waitress brought Tyler some silverware and a plate of silver dollars, and Tyler beamed his thanks at her. 

“What have you been up to?”

Dan smiled.

“Just wool gathering.”

Pi mo helping Stan out of trouble? Or something with Never Human AU! Do you stick to the whole "faeires get burned by iron" thing?

That time Stan accidentally cast his spirit out of his body and Pi had to possess it, so other certain things with less good intentions wouldn’t be able to take over it.

And to the NH AU Q - Yep, though if it’s the changeling in their human form its more like an allergic reaction (but also depends on the mental state of the fae. could be minor or intense) and in full fae form iron burns them (btw you know that symbol that got burned into Stan’s back. Well i got the idea that because the metal was hot and had iron properties, it’s the reason why the burn never healed properly ;A;).

Two people walk into the hospital.

(there is something to be said about being induced and not having to live out fifty ‘woman in labor’ cliches is one of them).

The woman has her hair done in a million tiny braids and is wearing a sweater emblazoned with a massive explosion and the words “READY TO POP!”. She’s not walking so much as she is waddling with purpose, and looks, for lack of a better term, like a big grape stuck through a toothpick. Her face is painted- literally- in red glitter paint.

(“It’s my battle face!”)

The man next to her is somehow even more noticeable. A few months ago, that wouldn’t have been the case; usually it was the laugh beat of ‘tall guy short girl’ before looking back at Mabel.

Even now there was no real reason to stare at the man, not when the woman next to him had started letting out Xena yells. Yes he was rather tall, and crowned with an impressive mass of curly red hair. But he is dressed rather plain in comparison to his wife- black jeans, a long black collared shirt, with black boots and belt. Nothing out of the ordinary, no reason for people to conspicuously get as far out of the way from the couple as humanly possible, and yet-

(a weight on the air, like a great and terrible storm is rolling in, and eyes in a blue that is not usually human standard, and above all, the force of will that keeps everything in check…)

They check in, Stan and Dipper following behind them carrying bags of fast food- even though both Mabel and Henry had explained that this was only going to be three or four hours as opposed to nine or twelve.

Dipper has brought his Switcheroo, his laptop, and four books. Stan has a pack of cards.

Henry looks at Mabel, who shrugs. Three hours is a long time after all.

(it’s not, really)

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If Stan can manipulate probability, what would happen if he got his hands on the infinity-sided die?

If Stan got his hands on an infinity-sided die…

Be afraid.

Be ve̷r͝y̨ afraid.

Meeting A Star

Close friends and family see Dipper’s object form for the first time.

On AO3 // On FF.net

Mabel

Mabel stared at her brother, blinking slowly. He blinked back with a single eye, tiny little pipe cleaner arms shifting restlessly.

This was new.

Part of Mabel was screaming, huddling down inside her sweater, memories of a a triangle and her brother’s screams echoing inside her head.

The rest was seeing through her brother’s bravado, his attempt at pretending everything was okay, as if he wasn’t upset about this development.

“…you think this is permanent?” she asked after a few minutes had passed, needing to say something but this time worried about saying something that would send both of them spiraling out of control and knowing she had to be the adult in this situation despite their parents being just downstairs because they wouldn’t be any help right now and that wasn’t fair to her but it was the truth.

The joking could come later, to make them both feel better.

“No, I’m just too tired to stay human shaped,” her brother answered, thankfully,  both of them relieved by his answer. “I think how I usually look is my default form now, and this is sort of…a power saving mode? I’m still working on the details.”

Mabel nodded as Dipper spoke, doing her best to hide how freaked she’d been. He could see her moods now, faintly, so he had to know, but it didn’t mean she had to be obvious about it. Now that she was calming down, though…well…her brother was pretty cute as a star.

But he was also still pretty obviously upset about this. Well, that couldn’t stand! It was time to unleash the Power of Mabel!

“Wait here, broseph,” she said, gesturing with both hands outspread. “Just hang out in here and wait.”

Impatiently, and more than a little nervously, Dipper waited. He knew Mabel loved and accepted him, but…what ifs kept playing through his mind, and he began to float back and forth across the room, the closest he could come to pacing while like this.

This was going to be a long wait.

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