Manly Dan Corduroy - Tumblr Posts

Everyone in Gravity Falls could tell a Pines from a mile off. How could you not?

Everyone knew that a Pines had masses of red hair, sometimes orangey and curly, sometimes darker red and wavey.

It wasn’t just playing spot the ginger either, because everyone knew that Pineses were all to a person giant. This was a family where six-even was almost freakishly small.

And they were loud and there were a ton of them and they knew all the best places in the forest and-

Listening from his booth at Greasy’s, Dan couldn’t help but shake his head a little. It seemed to him, that people forgot that the Pines twins were on the shorter side, hair soft brown, and a family tree that was more like a branch on a sapling.

And most of all, that people forgot that those were the exact same things they used to say about the Corduroys.

The waitress, under the watchful eye of Lazy Susan who had retired…. to manning the coffee station behind the counter, put down a plate of pancakes, and Dan dug in.

Yes, he remembered all the jokes from when he was growing up, how you could tell a Corduroy- the hair and the height and the smell of pine resin. And sure, there were scraps in school or in the bar or after church if someone overstepped, but for the most part Dan didn’t mind it. He was proud to be a Corduroy. As long as there had been Gravity Falls, there had been Corduroys. His pa had certainly not been one for book learning or mawkishness, but he made damn sure everyone of his boys (and girl) knew which buildings in town were made by them, what parts of the woods could only be logged by them.

Them. Theirs. Ours.

Those Pineses were Corduroys damnit, Corduroys through their dad and-

Dan took another bite of pancakes and shook his head slightly.

And he was being, as Wendy would most likely tell him, ridiculous.

After all, his family had basically thrown Henry away like trash to the curb. Their fault someone else had snapped him up instead.

(He regretted very little about his life, but the one sin that he would take with him to the grave was not getting that boy out earlier. April would have. Tyler would have.

Dan wished he had their courage.)

So what if his grandchildren got lumped into the Pines family sometimes? It happened to the triplets too, especially when they were out with him and Tyler. So what if Mabel and Dipper and Stan weren’t from here? They had certainly been around long enough, put down roots, hell put their lives on the line for this fucking town. 

At the end of the day, what really mattered was his family, in good health and good spirits. The secrets of the forest, Mother Corduroy’s house with that damn pool that attracted gnomes, the little stories that only his family knew and kept alive- those would all pass down, go to the next generation, didn’t make no matter what last name was attached. 

“Hey pumpkin!”

Dan looked up to see Tyler slide into the booth across from him. There was silver in his handlebar mustache now, and his shorts went down to his knees instead of mid-thigh, but he was still the same man Dan had married years ago.

“Sorry I was late, we had a little kerfluffle at City Hall- ever since the unicorns started voting, they’ve been nothing but trouble!” The waitress brought Tyler some silverware and a plate of silver dollars, and Tyler beamed his thanks at her. 

“What have you been up to?”

Dan smiled.

“Just wool gathering.”