These Lunkheads Make My Heart Go Pitter Pat

these lunkheads make my heart go pitter pat

sin’s twelve days of christmas gifts; 2023

spike spiegel & faye valentine ❄ happy holidays @kiraannwrites

It was the butterflies that did it.

Dancing at the edge of his vision... There except whenever he would turn to look. Not always present, of course, but whispering into existence far too often for him to not develop doubts.

It didn't help that he had been half convinced life was all a dream prior to encountering Vincent. And now...

The child was gone, the dog presumably at her side. It had hurt to read that goodbye but it felt somehow fitting that innocence should have fled before things got really bad.

With their absence it was harder to hope for a bright future. Harder to believe that this weary existence wasn't a dream turned nightmare.

And still the butterflies fluttered at the corner of his eyes.

Sometimes he thought Faye might see them too. The way she'd turn her head too quick and then frown in puzzlement. The way she gazed out of the windows without seeing the view beyond the glass... He could always tell when that thousand yard stare meant she wasn't seeing anything truly in front of her eyes.

Jet had actually asked once, when she had somehow not heard him calling her name multiple times. Faye had been startled when Jet clapped his hand onto her shoulder and had mumbled something about dust motes, though Spike could hear the lie in her words.

Were they living a shared dream? Had they actually died at some point before... perhaps as early as the explosion in the Linus Mines? Perhaps bewitched by that restless spirit child who lurked in the internet and drew other souls down into eternity with him? There were countless occasions where they could have met their end without realizing...

Was this purgatory? Was this a dismal dystopian dream? Was this truly living?

Jet was morose. Faye was haunted. Spike wasn't sure he could do a thing for either of them except perhaps ensure they continued to exist in this... Whatever it was. Maybe that was cruel of him. Maybe they wanted out just as much as he did. But he couldn't make that choice for anyone else, could only assume this was reality and that their lives were to be protected.

After he walked away from Faye, he felt a heavy loneliness settle on his shoulders. It was crushing in a different way than the weight he carried for the sins he'd committed over the years. There was no dream of a golden haired vixen... There was no impossible future to pretend was in reach...

There was only Spike, dead set on a mission to find answers. To find closure. To discover the truth, as if it even mattered.

Just Spike, flying off to face the devil and perhaps secure his own death.

Just Spike... and the gentle kiss of butterfly wings caressing his cheeks, brushing against his hair like the softest breeze, almost real and yet...

And yet...

Was any of this real? Would facing Vicious shatter this illusion into some sharp-edged reality he could piece back into something that had a chance of having a tomorrow?

Spike would soon find out.

"You can pick and choose your battles, you know. You don't have to fight every one."

It was not the first time Spike hallucinated Jet speaking words of advice to him while he wavered on the cusp of consciousness and a lack thereof, or perhaps more accurately... living and dying.

It was, however, the first time he heard Faye's frustrated contribution in his mind...

"That's still too many battles! Put some back!"

Of course, neither of them had ever left any fight alone even the times they'd adamantly refused - verbally, at least - to engage... so really, what a bunch of hypocrites his crewmates were.

Jet understood undertaking suicidal missions when there was a greater goal at risk. Faye understood the necessity of never backing down, of refusing to compromise. And yet they both mouthed pithy things at him as if to sway him from putting his life on the line just one more time... and maybe once again after that... and okay, yeah, a few more times perhaps...

The reproval in their eyes was clearly just a delusion on his part. When he finally woke for real, he knew he'd be met with expressions of relief on the faces of his comrades.

He'd made it through another life-or-death adventure. He'd won against the Grim Reaper.

And no one could stop him from fighting that good fight again and again.

dialogue is taken from... well, tbh I'm not sure the original source but we've all seen it before so obviously it's not mine

animals are the best <3

Good boys ^___^

@febuwhump prompt: suffering in silence

***

His grandmother had taught him that a good solid meal could fix just about any problem. Or at least give you the fortitude and energy needed to go out and handle whatever needed handling. It was important to eat well - or at least regularly - to keep your mind and body and spirit sustained.

There was an ache inside his chest. He tried to fool himself into thinking it was lower, deep down in his belly. Hunger was surely responsible. And while they hadn't snagged a big bounty today, they had been given a ton of eggs from Ed's fa...

At any rate, they had a ton of eggs. Boiled up and painstakingly shelled by yours truly and then stacked - nearly a dozen per dish - into four serving plates and one dog dish.

He and Spike sat across from one another in the living room, no words spoken.

The silence was massive. It was suffocating. It was positively unnatural after what the two men had grown used to over the past few months.

There was no clacking of computer keys, no humming or bursts of song, no childish gleeful giggles. There was no hot dog breath panting against their ankles, no random scratching of doggy claws against a furry body, no whines that somehow communicated the intent of a conversation so well. There were no playing cards being shuffled, no woman's voice bemoaning her boredom or slyly teasing, no sound of heeled boots wandering down the hall as the owner returned from a senseless shopping spree.

Hell, he had no fucking clue where Faye had disappeared to. He hadn't seen her since sometime before the girls reprogrammed the ship to land here instead of going to Mars. The dog being gone made some sense... no doubt he'd trailed along after Ed when she departed. Ein had been stuck to her side since the hacker had first boarded the ship - literally, he'd even been glued to her at one point.

It's not like Ed had been kidnapped either. He had a pretty good idea of where she'd gone given who they'd met that day.

So the kid had a father. An actual living breathing blood-related family member. An absent-minded easily distractible work-focused father who probably wouldn't remember to instruct her to bathe once a week, who wouldn't bring her along on general wellness appointments so she could see a doctor too, who wouldn't keep her adequately fed...

His heart twisted painfully.

Or maybe it was his stomach. Maybe it was the bellyache of having finished his own pile of eggs and having ruthlessly and wordlessly joined Spike in devouring the plates that had been set out for the girls.

They hadn't even eaten anything today...

Gone. Not even a goodbye from Faye, though why they ought to have expected one...

When she bailed on them on Callisto there had been a note at least. But that was because she had been secretly hoping they'd track her down. She'd never admit as much, hell, she'd deny it if she bothered to acknowledge the accusation but they'd never had a conversation about it after he'd brought her back.

So this... this meant she didn't want to be found. Didn't want to be brought back like a wayward child.

Another pang as he polished off the second plate and then looked up to catch Spike's troubled eyes before they both glanced at Ein's untouched dish. A growling rumble echoed in the strained silence - was that his belly or Spike's? It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Silently, they both dove for the dish and scrambled to shove as many of the by-now repulsive eggs into their mouths.

It had to be done. He wanted no leftovers to sit in the fridge, mocking him that they had all chosen to leave. He wanted no evidence that he'd cared enough to try and provide for each of them.

Hell, he never wanted to lay eyes on an egg ever again.

Spike disappeared without saying a thing, leaving Jet in his apron in the living room all alone. Futilely trying to convince himself that the rawness of his battered heart was the food not sitting well in his stomach. Crossing his arms high on his chest, Jet closed his eyes and ground his teeth together, suffering in silence.

It would be easier to just go to sleep. No need then to be bothered by the lack of missing companions.

Instead, he opened his eyes again and forced himself to his feet. He made the climb to the bridge and stared hard at the words scrawled on the deck of the ship.

Swallowing past a lump in his throat, Jet turned away and moved to the navigation panel. Programmed the ship to launch and resume course towards Mars.

There was nothing good from Earth to bother with anymore.

"I don't get it," Jet moaned. "How come I'm always the one who catches Lupin's colds? You and Faye are his freaking parents!"

Spike glanced over at Jet's ailing form sprawled on the couch. "Well, stop accepting the treats he offers you. That piece of cheese he shared with you yesterday? That wasn't cheese, that was the flu."

Jet grunted. "But I... you both take his offerings. He screams if you don't!"

Smirking, Spike shrugged. "Sleight of hand, old man. It's a skill you oughta learn."

Groaning, Jet curled into a fetal position. "And Faye? She doesn't do your little magic tricks."

At that, Spike laughed out right. "You're kidding, right? After all the times she's fleeced you, you haven't learned to watch her hands? She's no magician, but she's a goddamn cheat for sure."

Jet scowled at his partner. "I watch people's eyes. That's where their character is revealed. That's how you can tell if someone is bluffing..." He trailed off as if remembering the last time he'd been playing cards against - and losing to - Faye. "I... she... wait a minute..."

"Those cop-issue lie detector eyes are more of a liability than a boon, I think." Spike teased. "Anyway, he's just a baby. If you can't figure out how to pretend you've eaten something he's given you... well, plan on spending a lotta days as you are right now."

Jet whimpered.