TW: Explicit Content

TW: Explicit Content

Let's make one thing clear: I don't read Greek Mythology Retellings. And by that I mean physical books. I read fanfictions, but I'm not willing to pay money for a book which you can instantly quess that it's mediocre only by looking at it. The common saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover." can be applied to anything but books.

So when I found out that there's a whole HxP book series that is trending on BookTok I decided that I will avoid it like the plague, especially after reading a Goodreads review which described it as "If the worst parts of Fifty Shades of Gray and LO had a baby."

Unfortunately, one of my classmates read it, and when I told her that I will never touch that book she sent me a link with one of the *ahem* scenes in order to convince me:

First of all, it seems like a 12yo kid wrote it. Seriously now, even my celibate ass could write better erotica than this. And second of all, what sequence is supposed to be romantic, exactly?

The worst part is that I'm also an up-and-coming med student, and one of the essential things that you're supposed to learn about the reproductive system is that you have to be "prepared" before getting penetrated. Lubrification begins only after the hormones send signals to the brain that you are sexually aroused and the vaginal glands start secreting fluids to help the process of penetration. Otherwise it feels painful and you risk to get injured. Not to mention the fact that if a someone gets inside you without at least giving you a sign then it could be considered rape.

So there's nothing passional or sensual in this scene, it’s straight up disturbing. Also, is it just me or does anyone else cringe when they read these sort of scenes even when they're alone? Honestly, I'm currently trying to comprehend the fact that there are people (especially girls) who would read this thing and be like 🥵🥵🥵 or something like that.

This song is a combination between angelcore, cyberpunk, early 2000's, grunge and alternative.

Also, I had to make a slowed+reverb version as well lol.

While it is true that Ancient Greeks were more ableist, you have to keep in mind the fact that WW1 weapons and technology were way more advanced (to be fair WW1 represented a major transition from traditional to modern weapons). Here's a short list with some of them:

Also, this is the actual damage that war caused to soldiers:

There's a difference between having scars and having your entire face permanently desfigured.

This was also the main reason why restorative face masks were so famous back then. These men were so worried of how people would react when they would see them because their own faces were a constant reminder of the disturbing, traumatising war that many wanted to forget.

Also, here's a short video about Anna Coleman Ladd and her prosthetics:

Now, I'm not saying that an ancient soldier couldn't have been permanently desfigured as well, but that the chances of the injuries to be so calamitous were very rare.

I imagine that Amphitryon had some really nasty battle scars, something that really messed up his face. I read that WW1 veterans who had deformities due to the war where ashamed of going outside and even being with their loved ones, so they had to wear prosthetics, now imagine that but in Ancient Greece where they were way more ableist and hateful toward anything and anyone considered ugly and they didn’t have any prosthetics.

I imagine he was deeply insecure about returning to Alcmene, he fought this war for her and he’s ashamed to not return in one piece. Perhaps when Zeus visited Alcmene disguised as Amphitryon, he didn’t care to stay true to his scars and instead had perfect skin (partially bc of vanity but also bc Alcmene wouldn’t know), but then when she sees her real husband she’s relieved, she’d take comfort in knowing she’ll never be deceived again, bc no one can (or would) replicate Amphitryon’s humanity and imperfections.

Thanks to the Looney Tunes Dionysus meme now I cannot look at that one 300IQ scene from Bugs Bunny without thinking of him.

Shit, now I'm getting ideas...

Perseus: ...and then I'm going to turn that dirty old man into a stone statue at the wedding with your help.

Medusa: Why, so you can fuck with the bride?

Perseus: What the- Ew, no! She's my mother!

Medusa: Never say never.

Perseus: I'm coming...

Medusa: Yeah, that's what Oedipus said too.

*laugh track*

Perseus: I could be a great king.

Medusa: And I could be a great hand model.

*laugh track*

Perseus: Can you please stop singing? It's 3am already and you're giving me a headache.

Medusa: You left me with a headache since we've met for the first time.

Perseus: Look, I'm sorry but...

*Medusa starts singing again*

Perseus: Can you at least tell me why are you singing?

Medusa: A singer taught me once. Now I'm singing every time I remember him.

Perseus: Why, what happened to him?

Medusa: He's a rock star now.

Perseus: But that doesn’t sound so ba- Nevermind, I see what you mean now.

*laugh track*

Medusa: Why is that hot chick chained to a rock?

Perseus: She's going to be eaten by a sea rabbit predator, so I'm going to save her.

Medusa: So that you'll eat her first. Got it!

Perseus: ...

Perseus: What?

Medusa: Nevermind.

Perseus: Okay.

Medusa: That reminds me of the days when Poseidon used to chain me as well.

Perseus: Medusa, please...

Medusa: Sometimes he would turn into a horse...

Perseus: Medusa, we have to kill a monster now.

Medusa: ...and suddenly, his enormous fifth leg...

Perseus: MEDUSA!

Medusa: ...and that's how Pegasus was conceived.

Perseus: ...

Perseus: I regret beheading you sometimes.

*laugh track*

Medusa: You know what?

Perseus: What?

Medusa: We two should form a rock band.

Perseus: Please, no...

Medusa: We need a name. How about Talking Heads?

Perseus: Already taken.

Medusa: The Rolling Stones?

Perseus: Also taken.

Medusa: Medussy and Persassy.

Perseus: ...

Medusa: So you agree with me. Yay!

I saw someone saying that instead of having Perseus and Medusa being either enemies or lovers (or both), it would be a cool idea if Medusa's head would somehow still be alive and talk, and they two would form some sort of a comedic duo, where Perseus tries to say something important and Medusa's head interrupts him all the time with ironic remarks, followed by laugh tracks.

While I'm not a big fan of the concept, it would be a funny idea that would manage to keep both of them sympathetic and likeable.

'The Phynodderree and other Legends of the Isle of Man' by Edward Allow illustrated by W. J. Watson, 1882.