Alittum - Ali - Tumblr Blog

goncharoved

Marbles

Accidentally wound up on "hear me out cake" tiktok, and I swear, if another one of these bitches puts down an at-most-unconventionally-attractive human man, Lady Dimitrescu or Nick Wilde/Robin Hood I am going to lose my fucking mind.

Saw one where the first person they named was Disney's Aladdin and I tapped out so hard I entered a fugue state and didn't regain full consciousness for like a solid hour.

I was typing an entire post about food issues and why I don't like wet food, until I remembered that unlike in Dutch, 'wet food' has a specific meaning in English. Just straight up deleted everything bc all I could see myself as was

I just reada really good fic but halfway through I realized "oh shit this is really familiar.... didn't I write something like this once?" And as I kept reading I kept predicting what happened next and the further I went the more convinced I was that they'd ripped off my story-

like, copied the ENTIRE plot and re-written it, just better than I had? The characters were more fleshed-out than mine were, and the POV was more interesting, and the pace made more sense- but it was MY STORY?

So close to the end I was like "holy shit.. do I message them? Ask if my story inspired theirs? Should I be angry? Flattered?" Cause their tags and description didn't mention me AT ALL, which, sure, it's fanfiction to begin with, but if you're using my work than at least credit me as inspo, right? Just to be courteous?

But I get to the end of the final chapter, and it's not finished, and I'm kind of disappointed cause I never finished my story and I was really immersed in their version now and had been looking forwards to seeing how they tied up my loose ends- so I scroll to the bottom to leave a comment, and.

It's MY URL.

IT WAS MY STORY THE WHOLE TIME.

THE ONE *I WROTE*.

In *2013*.

And FORGOT ABOUT

BECAUSE I WAS SO INSECURE ABOUT MY SLOPPY, SHALLOW, AMETEUR WRITING

And I'm just sitting here now staring into space thinking about every shitty story I've ever written now like

IT WAS ALL GOOD?

IT WAS GOOD THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME??

I'M A GOOD WRITER?????

Veiltober day 8! Neve

I tried to capture that noir vibe

I had to go back to 5th grade and redo all subjects and write tests again.

I'm 26.

I was trying to get top surgery. In Minecraft.

The surgery scars had a cyan glow but so did the nipples.

Why did I have nipples?

•Flowers of the Veilguard•

💀Titan Arum💀

The start of a sort-of-wallpaper/lockscreen series where I draw every companion with the flower that fits them best symbolically 💜 Probably not gonna finish until Halloween but that’s ok! 🧘🏽‍♀️

The Dread Wolf Rises

Girl, just do what you can with that little life. Nobody's judgment is worth a damn here.

i am not unsafe i am just uncomfortable i am not unsafe i am just uncomfortable i am not unsafe i am just uncomfortable i am not unsafe i am just uncomfortable i am not unsafe i am just uncomfortable

DYING

my pussy is writing checks that my intimacy issues can't cash

i love adhd. i have a lot to do at work today. i take my meds. i open the word document. i immediately misspell “benzodiazepines.” i go on tumblr to post “benzodiazepenis….” for the mutualés. and then it’s 45 minutes later and ive caught up on tumblr and checked the weather and read a fic and texted an ex and ordered new pens and looked up a recipe for chicken pot pie and posted about adhd and done zero work.

For those curious:

Our lowest 3 smash are

2.4 for the Elon Musk poll

2.7 for the charles III

4.6 dor Ellen Degeneres

Our highest 3 smash are

95.5 for the second Sigourney Weaver poll

93 for the Appalachian Moutains

92 for the type 30 rotary phone

Currently, at work, there's a debate about whether my coworker (who sprained his ankle and needs a chair at the register) is faking his disability. And every single time I tell someone "debating whether someone is faking disability sets a horrible precedent wherein you think you're allowed to determine who is and isn't disabled, who does and doesn't 'deserve' accommodations, and just serves to harm disabled people by setting impossible standards that force us to injure ourselves to prove that we're "disabled enough" in your eyes," it's immediately followed up with "okay but here's why I think he's faking it."

One coworker was like "but you're different, you actually work hard-" like yeah dude because if I don't I'm afraid you'll think I'm faking and guess what I'M RIGHT. YOU FUCKING WILL. But thanks for confirming that, in your eyes, I'm one of "the good disabled people" who don't "force" you to have to remember or acknowledge our disabilities by, you know, existing in the same space as you. Love the pedestal you've put me on, can't wait for your reaction when I inevitably fall off it! Can't wait for the day when I can't just "push through" and be a hard worker in your eyes, anymore.

Yesterday's cherry on top of the workplace ableism is when another coworker was complaining about the one she thought was faking it and said "I'm so annoyed, I just want to hide the chairs." The chairs. Plural. Because one of those chairs is MINE. So these righteous assholes think that because they don't like this dude (and believe me, that is why they're doing this. He gets on all of their nerves, including mine half the time) they think it's okay to threaten to remove every disability aid in sight. Cuz fuck the people who need them, who gives a shit about that when I can fuck over this one dude I don't like, right?

And this is what is what I mean when I tell my coworkers that it goes beyond this one coworker. It's the precedent you're setting. It's the way you're willing to screw over every disabled person if you even so much as think someone is faking and taking advantage of accommodations (and what's the massive violation in this case? What are we cheating the system out of? Oh, standing in one place for long periods of time, a behavior that we know fucks people's bodies up? Wow, gasp, how awful, poor corporate bastards not being able to break every single person they hire *eye roll*) it's the way abled people will claim they're trying to protect disabled people when they're actively harming us and refusing to listen or even doubling down when we try to education them. It's the way I told my coworker that I break myself every shift just to make sure none of those fuckers have any reason to say that I'm being lazy, just so he could roll his eyes at me like I'm being dramatic.

I'm just over it. I shouldn't even be working right now. My whole care team wants me to go on disability but that shit isn't enough to live on, and I don't have any other choices. I gotta work. I gotta work myself into the fucking ground, I gotta be ten times better than all of them, just to hear some abled asshole talk about hiding my chair cuz she's mad at a different disabled coworker. It's fucking disgusting.

(Edit: okay to reblog)

Maybe it’s just the introvert in me talking, but if I were living with a romantic partner, I would actually love for us to have separate bedrooms. I think it’d work best for me to have our own spaces to retreat to and be alone when we needed it (I certainly need it on a daily basis), and also so our sleep habits and schedules don’t bother the other. I have terrible sleep and if I slept with someone else every night I’d hate to drag them into my sleep problems too. Besides, that way we can have sleepovers with each other when we want to, and it’ll make those nights we do sleep together even more special.

Me and my boyfriend have a fridge magnet with a an adorably twee saccharine vintage illustration of a little kitten with a bow around its neck, surrounded by butterflies, and the text "what a fucked up time to be alive", and every so often whenever we start talking about the various ways of how the world has been going to shit, one of us can just say "don't make me tap the sign", and we both know we're referring to the fridge magnet.