I Dont Want To Be Like Its Homophobia But Genuinely People Do Not Seem To See Gay Men As People Who Have

I don’t want to be like “it’s homophobia” but genuinely people do not seem to see Gay Men as People who have unique experiences and personalities shaped by their gayness AND their masculinity.

Tommy is closed off and defensive in that scene because Gerrard basically called him a fairy to his face and now he’s being ambushed with a serious conversation. This is a natural way to react when you’re a gay man because (and I shouldn’t have to explain this) when you’re a gay man and a homophobe is near you, you get uncomfortable and have to retreat into a shell that will keep you safe. This is the reason so many gay men are “sassy” because having an acerbic tongue is often the only defense mechanism for a visibly feminine man. For more masculine men like Tommy, that defensive shell is going to look a lot like retreating hard into masculinity. So a gay man clamming up and getting snippy when faced with homophobia is pretty damn understandable.

Source: I’m a gay man and my main defense mechanisms are silencing myself or using dry humor to deflect.

The more time passes. The more we have BuckTommy scenes. The more I see myself in them. The more I see people reacting toward them. The more I see the hate. The less I feel safe in what was once my safe-place

Oh my god y'all are so fucking exhausting you get literally the most innocuous scene of a character saying he's letting his boyfriend set the pace in the relationship and immediately it's like "poor Oliver he deserves better than this:(" what do you mean???? What show are you watching where any of this is wrong??? Gay men are talking about how represented they feel by Tommy and y'all keep shitting on him, demonizing everything he does using literal homophobic arguments, then turn around saying bisexuals deserve better rep??? It literally shows someone letting their partner set the pace while they discover this part of themselves how much better can it be. Not surprising coming from the same people who don't understand why showing a close friendship between a queer and straight man is important. Stop parading your ship wars as social justice because the people that should feel represented do.

I am B E G G I N G people to remember that Buck isn't a child nor is he a virgin. He is a grown man who knows how relationships work.

And while we're here... teasing is a thing friends do, adults mostly, when they want to give each other shit but also get their point across without being too fucking serious. This isn't Mean Girls, and Tommy is not Regina George, so please park your bus.

I think I figured out, at least for myself, why the 9-1-1 fandom and part of the Buddie-or-Bust side of it feels so much more toxic than ever before when I know for a fact, those demanding Buddie has to become canon and who are looking for any tiny clue to be able to say it will become canon have always been this toxic. (I mean, with the exception of some people who came into the show because with Buck being bi the show was suddenly not queerbaiting anymore--lol, it hurts even just writing this as if it were really true--and then became die-hard Buddie fans or at least pretend to be to garner enough followers and clicks to make money out of fandom. But I'm not talking about them here.)

Before Bucktommy, there was no real opposition for them in the fandom. Buck and Eddie both had other LI and those had their fans (I know for a fact there are still people now shipping Buck with Taylor or Buck with Marisol or Eddie with Shannon). But those were very few fans and they created their own little spaces in fandom places and were barely noticeable. So the Buddie-or-Bust fans were able to mostly ignore them. And there have of course also been some small fanon ships for Eddie and Buck with other people, but those are barely noticed either.

But Bucktommy? That got huge in practically an instant. Because so many people were excited for bi story line with an established character and one in Buck's circumstances (not even Buck himself). And the Bucktommy fans were loud about their support of this new canon ship. So Buddie-or-Bust fans suddenly felt threatened and became much louder in their hate for anything not Buddie. Because now, for some reason, the fans of the other ship seem to be a threat to them. And also, for the first time for any of the LI of Eddie or Buck, they made an honest effort to set up Tommy and the relationship with him as something long-term. Which the Buddie-or-Bust fans recognize just as much as the Bucktommy fans, and so they try even harder to find fault in every single thing.

And that did change something in the behavior of the die-hard Buddie fans. At times, I've been neck-deep in Ana bashing, in Shannon bashing, in Taylor bashing, in Chimney bashing, in Abby bashing, in Maddie bashing. Because I enjoy a good bashing at times. It can be very cathartic. But you know what I've never seen there? I've never seen any of those characters being called derogatory names. Or their fans being called derogatory names and, in most cases, their fans didn't retaliate to the bashing either. (Though, at least for Chimney fans they sometimes very viciously go against people even just mentioning they don't like him and it came up a couple of times that Chimney fans found derogatory names for those bashing Chimney because that group of fans also seems to be unable to avoid content bashing their fav and instead sought it out deliberately to complaint about it.)

I can't even count anymore how many derogatory names I've seen for Tommy or Bucktommy or Bucktommy fans. They seem to come up with a new name every other day. And they enjoy trumping each other in their creations and using those names to get around the boundaries others try to set for themselves by filtering out the already known names.

And I already see people coming at me with "Oh, but Bucktommy fans started it by calling us BoBs." and just: No. Once more, you get an F in reading comprehension. It's always been made very clear that BoBs stood for Buddie-or-Bust and I personally don't see anything derogatory here but also, it's always been made very clear it's a specific subset of Buddie fans who behave poorly to separate them from the Buddie fans who don't care about Bucktommy. Because those people using that term are very well aware that there are really just a couple of very loud bad apples in the Buddie side of fandom and the rest of the Buddie fans don't deserve to be lumped in with them. While, on the other hand, all Bucktommy fans are always called names as a whole.

And I think their biggest problem is not even necessarily the "threat" they perceive Bucktommy to be to their own ship, though that's clearly a big part still. Otherwise, they wouldn't come after authors and artists and other fans who once shipped and created for Buddie and are now creating for Bucktommy. And otherwise, they wouldn't tag so many Buddie fics as Bucktommy, too, in some kind of strange hope to convince Bucktommy fans to ship Buddie again. (Without noticing that all they are accomplishing is to make everyone annoyed at them. And yes, that includes those Buddie fans who don't care for Bucktommy at all because they need to curate the Buddie tag very carefully now, too.)

I think their biggest problem is this belief that their ship is only valid if it's canon.

Which is so strange. Fandom has always mostly been about ships that are very much not canon. And no one ever expected their ships to become canon in the past, as far as I know. (Except if it was promoted and then didn't happen. Looking at Sterek here.) Canon ships barely get any attention. I mean, look at all the 9-1-1 ships that are canon, including Tarlos, and how little content there is for any of them, and also how little engagement there is for this content compared to Buddie. That's always been a trend in fandom, that's not new with 9-1-1.

It's not only strange, I also think it's honestly sad for these fans. Because they have deliberately set themselves up to be disappointed and dig that hole of disappointment ever deeper. Even if Buddie should ever go canon, which I honestly don't think will happen, it won't be at all what they expect. And they'll either leave the fandom or turn on the ship they were so toxically addicted to before.

whoever is mad at tommy kinard’s behavior sure as hell won’t survive a sec with this cunt