Alovelydesolation - A Lovely Desolation - Tumblr Blog

35mm Film photos from Rhode Island, September 2023. Shot on Fuji 400H in a Pentax K1000, developed by The Darkroom and scanned on my Epson V500 Photo.

So, a comparatively high amount of states are voting on the fate of ranked choice voting this year. Missouri is voting on whether or not to kill it, Alaska is voting on whether or not to keep it, and most importantly, Nevada, Oregon and Idaho are voting on whether or not to adopt ranked choice voting, with maybe Colorado to follow.

And if you live in these states, even if you don't want to vote at the top of the ticket, I urge you to get out there and vote in favor of ranked choice voting on all of them.

Like, the two-party monopoly is a big part of the reason why politics in this country is so shit, and a big part of that is our "first past the post" system making it basically mathematically impossible for candidates outside of them to win anything beyond a local or state level.

So, if you want to try and break the cycle of voting for the lesser evil, of bipartisan cruelty towards the Global South and the country's own citizens alike, we need to change this and we need to vote on it where we can.

Fascist, Thus Inefficient

“As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed,” the Emperor said, triumph in his tone. “Now, witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!”

Luke looked at him in shock.

“Fire at will, Commander!” the Emperor said.

Fourteen months previously…

“Shipment IL-214-73 arriving,” a petty officer reported.

“Thank goodness,” muttered one of the technicians. “After the delays we’ve been having, we need to get those Khyber crystals into the third main focusing array. It’s been on the critical path for a week.”

He brought up the display, frowning. “All right, I think we can make up a bit of time if we just get them straight to cutting and installation.”

“Don’t we need to run them through the testing process first?” a more junior technician asked. “That’s on the list.”

“I know it’s on the list,” the senior tech replied. “But the list was written when they didn’t expect there’d be rebel attacks hitting our supply lines.”

He waved at the screen. “The testing process means heating each individual crystal up to eighteen hundred, even though we know Khyber can all handle temperatures of up to forty-seven-fifty. The cutting process doesn’t rely on heat tolerance either. Any crystalline flaws will come out in cutting, and we can just junk them. It means cutting takes a bit longer, but by going straight to cutting we can save at several hours on the overall process. And you know how much time we’ve lost already.”

The junior tech looked worried, then shook his head.

“All right,” he replied. “I guess so.”

“You need to learn how things are done in practice,” the senior tech said. “No big deal.”

Eleven months previously...

“I’m quite sure Rothana Heavy Engineering’s XJ-15 hypermatter feed systems will meet your needs better than the alternatives,” the Rothana representative said, as Admiral Jerjerrod examined the datasheet.

He wasn’t so sure. The newer units had better specifications, certainly, but they weren’t proven, and they were also somewhat more expensive.

“I don’t think that’s necessarily the case,” he said, out loud. “While I appreciate Rothana’s position, the Sienar alternative has similar flow rates and more proven applications.”

The Rothana representative nodded, sagely.

“I understand entirely,” he said. “However, I must point out that Rothana has some important additional information to present.”

He held out a credit chip, which Jerjerrod took and inspected.

“Owing to the XJ-15’s protracted development, we are willing to provide our test units at cost,” the representative went on. “That is in addition to having a higher production rate than our competitors and a less committed production output.”

Jerjerrod hesitated, then pocketed the credit chip.

“That all seems in order,” he said. “The XJ-15 it is.”

“Marvellous,” the representative declared.

Nine months previously...

“I’ve examined the records that exist from the first Death Star,” a senior technician said. “The amount of strain that was placed on the flash suppression systems was minimal to nonexistent. Even with the full firing that destroyed Alderaan, surviving records indicate that the flash suppressors had no more than a five percent load placed on them – an amount that can be handled by untreated durasteel.”

The other men and women in the meeting looked at the data on the screen behind their colleague.

“You’re suggesting we forego the duratemp treatment on the flash protection systems?” one of the women asked, cautiously. “I can see the advantages, but the downsides seem significant. I’d even say potentially destructive.”

“It is my position that the cost of including the duratemp treatment is unacceptable,” the tech replied. “It takes time and effort, including supervisory attention which cuts into the available man-hours on the project. We only have so much experienced manpower.”

That drew winces, though none of the humans in the room drew attention to the fact that they were spending a lot of that time in interminable meetings.

“In the following presentation, I’ll discuss my proposal and how it could shave as much as one week off the final completion timetable,” the senior tech continued, flicking to the next screen of his presentation. “This model shows how the flash suppression systems are built around the main weapon…”

Six months previously…

“There simply isn’t an option,” the head of personnel replied. “Our existing system is not providing enough technicians and operators.”

“This was quite sufficient for the first Death Star,” Jerjerrod protested.

“The first Death Star was a project that took decades,” the manager replied, shrugging. “It didn’t come up at first, sir – for that I apologize – but if we are going to redress the problem, we need to act now. There is no alternative.”

Jerjerrod rubbed his temples, thinking about the problem.

The fully functional Death Star was going to need hundreds of thousands of qualified technicians and operators, familiar with the systems of the vast battle station, and so many of the men who knew much about the Death Star at the moment were busy building it.

There hadn’t been many left after the destruction of the first battle station, because most of them had been working on it at the time.

“All right,” he said. “So your proposal is…?”

“We keep the same number of trainers for now, but abbreviate the course,” the manager answered. “Two months – at most. Then we have the new graduates train the next batch for two months, and so on. Exponential growth. At twenty students per instructor and a hundred instructors to start with, we’ll end up with eight hundred thousand in six months.”

That was extremely tempting… they wouldn’t be anything like the equal of what they should be, but they could learn on the job.

“All right,” Jerjerrod said. “Approved – see to it.”

One month previously…

“Next item on the checklist?” Commander Jaskier asked.

“Step one hundred and seven,” Technician Mils replied. “Self test.”

She pressed the self-test button, and the computer system clicked and flickered as it ran through the diagnostics.

Data results and readouts went up on the screen, and Jaskier and all the others in the control station watched the results.

None of them had any comment to make about the numbers. The checklist said to run the self test, so that was what they were doing.

“Step one hundred and eight,” Mils went on. “Sign off on results.”

She did that, as well, and Jaskier nodded.

“Good,” he said. “And I believe we’ve finished that half an hour ahead of schedule! Good work, everyone.”

Now.

The firing commands flashed out through the Death Star’s systems, triggering a cascade of further commands, and the whole massive battle station’s main superlaser woke for the first time.

Fifty XJ-15 hypermatter flow regulators controlled the flow of energy from the power core into the power collectors, and the energy being channelled into the system surged rapidly – rising to one hundred and eighteen percent of nominal, above what would have been anticipated, and greater than the one hundred and two percent that the older, more proven Sienar systems would have generated.

Thousands of high powered beams were generated, controlled and focused through an enormous array of Khyber crystals… a small but measurable fraction of which were cheap industrially grown diamonds instead, added to the shipments by subcontractors eager to stretch out their production from the strip-mined planet of Ilum without running so late on their deliveries that financial penalties were imposed.

None of the technicians who were in a position to spot the problem at this stage were actually capable of doing so. Their necessarily abbreviated training had mostly been on what buttons to push, and nobody had the deeper knowledge of the systems to recognize that the system was in an anomalous state.

Then some of the diamonds shattered under the load, allowing the beams free to damage adjacent systems, and in moments the whole of the energy drawn from the hypermatter core was unleashed.

The flash suppression systems were wholly, and fatally, inadequate.

“Watch yourself, Wedge!” Lando called, his head on a swivel, and banked the Falcon around so his ventral turret gunner could clear off one of the TIEs attacking Red Leader. “We’ve got to-”

Then there was a sudden blinding flash, and Lando did a double-take.

The Death Star’s protective shield was instantly, and dramatically, visible – because the entire inside of it was full of plasma and flame, lighting it up as clearly as Ackbar’s briefing had done back before the operation was launched in the first place. Then something blew up on the surface of the forest moon as the plasma followed the funnel of the shield, and the explosive force was no longer contained but began to drift out into space.

“...the kriff?” Lando asked, eventually. “What just happened?”

“Ow,” Darth Vader said, indistinctly, reaching up to feel his helmet, which had been crushed in by an impact with the ceiling.

The Emperor’s throne room seemed to mostly be intact, though there was an Emperor-shaped hole in the window nearest his throne, and Luke had his hands out to either side as he stood on the wall.

“Father, are you all right?” the younger Skywalker asked.

“What happened?” Vader replied. “I remember the Emperor ordering that the Death Star should fire…”

“I don’t know, it exploded just after he said that,” Luke answered. “It turns out that overconfidence was his weakness… do you have any idea where the nearest spaceship is? Keeping the atmosphere in is tiring me out a bit.”

I'm biased because I worked with Beau on this, but I also love the art sprinkled throughout the book. It includes lovely illustrations for all of the beasts, little drawings for the human archetypes, town maps, and stunningly evocative poetry.

Pick it up for the thoughtful essays placed in each chapter, or the delightful feel of the cover, or the cute and fun art throughout, or to be transported to a place where -- just maybe -- your friends and your town can put aside fear and learn to love you for your differences.

Right before the pandemic, I did a Kickstarter for my TTRPG Turn, which is about playing shapeshifters in small mostly rural towns. I worked with some great people on it and I think it is still an amazing game and wish I could play it more and expand upon it extensively, but I don't think that it will be in the cards for me.

However, it still exists.

This game, where you struggle between your public and private identities, where the rules are mostly focused on avoiding faux pas in human social interactions in order to keep your beast side hidden, where violence is easy but has hard consequences, and where the biggest struggle is finding people who will still love and care for you when you're exposed to be something most people would see as monstrous or freakish & you're struggling to live, it exists. I made that, six years after I first conceptualized it, & now five years after I made it real, no one knows.

I didn't get to take it to tons of conventions & promote it heavily, in part because I was struggling with my health, in part because the pandemic cut short a lot of my plans, in part because I didn't truly have a community that loved & cared for me when I was exposed & struggling. Instead, I lost my community, & I eventually had to give up my dreams, too.

But Turn exists. It's still beautiful and special to me, and I have had experiences with it building community and finding myself that I don't think I will have in real life. It's how I found my name. It mattered. Today, I'm holding on to that.

Turn is here, with my other works:

https://thoughty.itch.io/turn

+supplement, Towns Like Ours:

https://thoughty.itch.io/towns-like-ours

+Script Change, which I recommend using with it/any RPG:

https://thoughty.itch.io/script-change

Print:

https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Turn.html

DriveThruRPG:

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/publisher/10592/daedalum-analog-productions

KS:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/briecs/turn-a-tabletop-roleplaying-game

As a bona fide over-40 who got lucky enough to actually buy a house more than a decade ago: I want housing to be free for everyone. I want other people who are less lucky than I have been to have houses even nicer than mine. I'd even be happy to keep paying my mortgage while others get housing at no cost to them.

If we have to live under some form of capitalism, I want government policies that limit the profits corporations can extract from mere property ownership. I want those limits to be harsher the more units a company or person owns, until additional units actually actually cost money to own. I want steep and growing taxes on all unoccupied units that become so ruinous after a year that it is always more worthwhile to sell than to hoard property.

I want more government-owned housing, and for the government to seize housing units from landlords who repeatedly mistreat their tenants (some kind of 3-strikes law, but for asshole landlords). I want the government to turn over ownership of its housing stock to the residents that live there after a short period (maybe 3-5 years) in which they learn any skills they need to maintain the property in accordance with their needs (with classes or other help offered for free).

I haven't become less radical as I've aged. I've gotten more specific.

as we get older we become more conservative, its a natural sign of maturity, so don't worry you'll grow out of this leftist free housing phase in your 40's. & if you somehow don't? Well then you just never grew up in the first place.

i think maturity as defined by capitalism is a strange metric.

Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.

The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.

I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.

That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."

And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."

And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."

And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.

And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.

Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.

"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.

Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.

May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.

Chest harness from the back.

Pentax K1000, Takumar 50mm f1.4, Ilford Ortho Plus 80 developed in Cinestill Df96.

I love a good taxonomy and rating scale.

So my home ttrpg group is between longform games right now, and I have been planning to bring a bunch of games to them this weekend as options for what we might play next. However, I have been trying to figure out how to talk about the games in a way that doesn't rely as much on me explaining the vibes to them.

I know that people have a bunch of qualitative categories for how they explain games, but I find the idea of saying things like Dark Fantasy OSR, or Lesbian Goofball PBTA less helpful when talking about how games actually play, especially when two games in the same category are like, wildly different in the way they use their frameworks.

So I invented a 6 axis, 1 to 5 star rating scale for TTRPGs that you are free to borrow when talking to groups, or whatever.

TTRPG 5 Star Rating Matrix

Width

What is the scope of this game? Is it narrowly about one thing or does it encompass many types of play? (Credit to friend of the blog @ostermad-blog for this one, they came up with it from my draft)

Weight

How much cognitive load does the player need to bear? Do rules often need to be referenced verbatim? Can those rules fit on a handout?

Wargame

Is the player expected to apply tactical acumen? Is movement tracked tightly or loosely? Does a bad build punish a player?

Writers Room

How much are players expected to make narrative choices and drive the story without the rules scaffolding them? Does this game fall apart without excellent improvisational storytellers?

(Prep)Work

Does this game require a lot of pre-planning by the facilitator? Are there intricate systems to attend to outside of table play? Can I put in the same amount of time as other players and still have everyone leave happy? 

Whimsy

Expected tone of the game. Does this game have difficult thematic elements baked in? Is the core subject or role in the game high or low risk?

Here are some games I know well and how I calibrated them:

I have breakdowns of what each star rating means below the cut if you're curious. Happy Gaming!

Width

⭐ - As written, the game has basically one mode of play, or one thematic core that it meditates on. May have phases, but textural difference is minimal.

⭐⭐ - As written, there are at least two modes of play, but the scope of that play is highly thematically focused or highly dependent on using the game’s own lore. Might have only one kind of character (e.g. Mech Pilot) that it supports. Has limited tools outside of the primary mode of play.

⭐⭐⭐ - Has a variety of modes of play, but may be rigid in their execution. Might encompass multiple kinds of characters (e.g. Doctor, Lawyer, fighter) or character options. The narratives that this game tells within its setting are narrowed, a three word description tells you what kind of stories it can tell with consistency.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Loose framework, but with some kind of thematic grounding. Describing the framework in 3 words doesn’t tell you the kind of stories that the game tells (e.g. Dark Fantasy, Star Wars Romp). 

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- As written, this game is designed in such a way that it doesn’t put specific limits on what sorts of stories that it is meant to tell. It might ask players to define abilities or stats for themselves. The Facilitator is going to pitch a thematic grounding on top of the rules set.

One Star Examples: For the Queen, Dialect, Honey Heist Five Star Examples: Fate Core, Savage Worlds, GURPS

Weight

⭐ - It is reasonable for a player to be able to recite the rules from memory. The game may be prompt based, or driven by a flow of rules that are read aloud as played.

⭐⭐ - Players can hold most of the most important information about the game in their heads, with a page or less of rules reference needed to play smoothly. This reference could all fit neatly on the character sheet if one is present.

⭐⭐⭐ - Everything a player needs to know about the game is visible on less than 3 sheets of reference. Players are more or less expected to know exactly how their own abilities work in precise detail, and are unlikely to make a mistake in executing them.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Players make extensive use of multiple reference sheets to keep rules moving smoothly. No external tools are needed, but players memorizing the details of all of their abilities is taxing. 

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- Players and facilitators will prefer to make extensive use of external tools or reference to keep play moving smoothly. Expecting a player to have the exact details of their abilities memorized is not reasonable.

One Star Examples: For the Queen, Stewpot, Mobile Frame Zero: Firebrands Five Star Examples: Dungeons and Dragons 3-5e, Lancer, Edge of the Empire

Wargame

⭐ - As written, this game does not treat combat as mechanically different from any other aspect of play, or does not include narrative violence at all.

⭐⭐ - While players may engage in combat, it is minimally different from regular play. There may be tools or abilities for players to use to conduct a fight, but the texture of those fights is thematic, not mechanical. Narrative and consequence drive the action, not hit points.

⭐⭐⭐ - As written, combat has its own set of rules. This game may have some elements of buildcrafting, but either it is difficult to build something that doesn’t work, or the player may meaningfully invest in other modes of play and still find a commensurate level of satisfaction. If combat occurs, spacing is kept in mind, but is tracked in relative terms (range bands) or highly simplified (zone based combat).

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This game has buildcrafting that is somewhat mandatory if players wish to survive a fight, but there is still a meaningful choice in choosing a non-combat role. It may use a grid or a spacing system to help players visualize the combat. Fights are driven by mechanics, not by narrative.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- To enjoy this game, players must spend time buildcrafting. If a player’s build is suboptimal, there may be significant parts of the intended experience that will either feel tedious, or that the player will not have meaningful access to. This game is played on a grid.

One Star Examples: Wanderhome, Dialect, Belonging Outside Belonging Five Star Examples: Lancer, Dungeons and Dragons 3-5e, Valor

Writers Room

⭐ - Players in this game are not expected to provide much in the way of narrative substance. Story is something that is driven by external input or tools, and players are there to imagine and react. The player need not separate the self from the character they play in any meaningful way.

⭐⭐ - The mechanics of this game drive most of the narrative, or else the narrative is set for the players by an external source or player. Players are encouraged to play optimally rather than dramatically, but do have room for expressing the identity of their character within the game’s mechanical frameworks.

⭐⭐⭐ - While the game does provide strong scaffolding to tell a story, the players present are expected to drive the story within those frameworks. The game’s systems create and resolve conflict on their own, but works best when the players are willing to choose the dramatically interesting option even if it mechanically non-optimal.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - The game provides some mechanical tools that create and resolve drama, but there is a significant expectation that the players are buying into and driving the game’s thematic concepts. Players are the ones deciding what the scenes should be and when to end them, but mechanics still help determine outcomes.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- The players are expected to drive the narrative at all times. Tools for deciding what scenes to do and when to end them are limited, optional, or vague. There is no meaningful scaffolding that creates conflict or resolution, it is incumbent on those present to manifest those things.

One Star Examples: Alice is Missing, Ribbon Drive, For the Queen Five Star Examples: Wanderhome, Systemless RP

(Prep)Work

⭐ - Facilitators are not expected to do work outside the time at the table. All rules can be read while the game is played. No memorization is needed.

⭐⭐ - This game expects the facilitator to have read the rules in advance, but the rules are so few that they can be run from a single reference sheet. At times, the facilitator must think about and potentially advance and adjust the narrative of the game behind the scenes. Prep is qualitative; answering questions about where the narrative is going to go, who will be there etc. The game can be run smoothly predominantly as improv.

⭐⭐⭐ - This game expects the facilitator to not only know the rules, but to imagine scenarios where the group must play. However, the scope of the scenario design is limited and qualitative. It takes a bit of pondering and perhaps a sketch and a few words of notes. Alternatively, the facilitator must design simple foes or track a simple background system. The work is trivial, and can be done with a bit of time before session.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - The facilitator of this game is expected to have run systems between games, or created usable maps or scenarios. Generally, games at this level have some reduced wargaming component. The facilitator might need to engage in enemy design, but the work is limited or imminently reusable. The work is non-trivial, and failing to do it will somewhat impact the quality of play.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- The facilitator of this game puts in significant time between sessions engaging in game design activities. They are expected to plan narratives, write NPCs, draw maps, run significant background systems, and design enemies and combat encounters. The work is significant outside of play, and failing to do it beforehand will result in a worse table experience.

One Star Examples: For the Queen, Alley-Oop, Lasers and Feelings Five Star Examples: Lancer, D&D 3-5e, Stars Without Number, Edge of the Empire

Whimsy

⭐ - This game’s thematic core is considered dark, taboo, or difficult, and separating the game’s mechanical features from this subject matter is next to impossible. Games with horror elements almost certainly fit within this category. These games encourage extensive pre-play safety talks.

⭐⭐ - This game is designed to look at dark subject matter, but doesn’t expect the player to spend all of their time there. Players explore difficult topics, but may get to choose what topics to explore, or when to explore them. Games with political messaging/commentary tend to fit this category. These games encourage pre-play safety talks.

⭐⭐⭐ - This game may have dark aesthetics, but doesn’t enforce them mechanically. Alternatively, there are mechanics that address difficult topics in broad strokes, but players are given leeway in the rules with how any difficult topics are approached. These games may encourage safety talks. 

⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This game may have the option to explore dark topics, but none of the mechanics are tied to such topics. This game may have violence in its aesthetics, but players may choose to adjust the aesthetics at the table to suit their comfort. These games tend not to talk about safety in their text.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- This game is designed to focus on thematic material that is considered to be relatively safe. The game is unlikely to tread into violence or trauma without effort.

One Star Examples: Trophy Dark, Dungeon Bitches, Vampire the Masquerade Five Star Examples: Honey Heist, Princess World, Beach Episode

The system here isn't about what's good or bad, to be clear. I think there are good and bad games at every level of these categories, but when I think about what my game group is good at and comfy with, I don't think we go in for things at like the 5 end of the Writers Room scale. It's too much work, and most of them aren't pro improvisers.

Similarly, if we play another game that is a 4 or 5 on the PrepWork category, I don't have time to run it these days. So this helps me make practical choices about our next game.

Fromsoft games clearly associate transness with overwhelming divine power and a willingness to break any and all boundaries for the sake of personal apotheosis and if you don't think that's the tightest shit ever get out of my face.

Sleepy cat chooses the least comfortable surface for a pillow.

Ilford FP4 in Pentax K1000 with SMC-A 50/1.4 lens. Developed in Cinestill Df96 and scanned via DSLR and macro lens.

Two shots on ilford Ortho Plus, shot at the National Museum of WW2 Aviation in Colorado Springs.

Shot on my K1000 with Pentax 24mm lens, and developed in Cinestill Df96 monobath. I definitely underexposed these indoor shots; this film is ISO 80 in daylight, but only about 50 indoors and I didn't adjust my metering enough.

Wildlife encounter at the Garden of the Gods park in Colorado Springs.

Pentax K-3 with SMC-A* 300/4 lens.

Attempt number two has clear improvements! First, I picked a subject that would not move during the long period of the exposure. Second, I switched to a more sensitive cyanotype method*, and used the paper within a week or so of coating it.

This was still an under-exposure at about 50 minutes of direct summer sun. It probably needed roughly double that time - 90 minutes likely would have produced a more distinct image with higher contrast.

*The more sensitive method: instead of mixing the sensitizer and developer together and coating the paper with the mixture, I coated the paper with only the sensitizer. The reaction is no longer visible to the naked eye, and the whole page must be submerged in the developer agent after the fact (which uses far more of the developer) to produce the image before it is rinsed in water to fix it. Still, this is a much more light-sensitive method as none of the developer agent is present to block the light and kick off the development reaction prematurely.

Revised 3d-printed lens board for my large format lens from 1850. It is a big chonker for a lens that only covers 4x5, but it has been a pleasure working to get it back into image-making after more than a century out of service.

Lots of challenges remain when trying this for image making. This lens pre-dates even waterhouse stops, so has a fixed aperture of about f3.7 (which is enormous and super fast in large format terms), and has no built in shutter.

I still don't have a serviceable shutter for it, so to get into image-making sooner without wasting film, I'm trying out direct cyanotype photography. The image below is my first attempt: a 4.5-hour exposure on paper treated a month or so before the attempt. This image is inverted from the original blue paper negative. This was a poor choice of subject for such a long exposure (there are flowers here, many concealed by the deteriorated chemistry) as they moved in the wind.

I'm working on modifying a 1950's vintage electric Packard-style shutter into something Arduino-controlled so I don't have to have the camera plugged into the wall and rely on super old wiring. When I have a functional shutter, I should be able to find some low-sensitivity film (ISO 10 or less) to take some regular film photos.

What should have been said after the Trump shooting

So what they should say is “This should never happen. We are coming together, and we believe that every single lawmaker who loves this country very much should join us in passing an assault weapons ban in the name of this never happening again, in the name of the safety of every single one of us, including people who are running against us. We're doing this for our opposition. That is how much we care about this, how much we care about them, how much we care about the process.

- Anat Shenker-Osorio

There really is no substitute for just being there when it comes to landscapes and wildlife. Sometimes that means waking up a 3:30 in the morning to pack camera equipment and get on the road so you can reach a location an hour before sunrise. Totally worth it.

Now I just have to wait to get the 120 and 135 film developed...

Revised 3d-printed lens board for my large format lens from 1850. It is a big chonker for a lens that only covers 4x5, but it has been a pleasure working to get it back into image-making after more than a century out of service.

Lots of challenges remain when trying this for image making. This lens pre-dates even waterhouse stops, so has a fixed aperture of about f3.7 (which is enormous and super fast in large format terms), and has no built in shutter.

I still don't have a serviceable shutter for it, so to get into image-making sooner without wasting film, I'm trying out direct cyanotype photography. The image below is my first attempt: a 4.5-hour exposure on paper treated a month or so before the attempt. This image is inverted from the original blue paper negative. This was a poor choice of subject for such a long exposure (there are flowers here, many concealed by the deteriorated chemistry) as they moved in the wind.

I'm working on modifying a 1950's vintage electric Packard-style shutter into something Arduino-controlled so I don't have to have the camera plugged into the wall and rely on super old wiring. When I have a functional shutter, I should be able to find some low-sensitivity film (ISO 10 or less) to take some regular film photos.

Developed my first rolls of black and white film at home, using Cinestill Df96 monobath. Pretty easy, and rather good results! I camera scanned these myself. All of these shots are from the same roll of Ilford FP4+, shot in my trusty Pentax K1000.

The two winter scenes above are shot with a 24mm lens, and the cat with a 50mm. The architectural shot below was shot with a 300mm lens, and @beaujagr took that shot of me with a 135mm lens.

Ultimately an RPG that uses playing cards as a randomizer but doesn't actually utilize the cards for. You know. The things that cards can do. Is just using them as a fancy, weirdly shaped die.

A few things that cards can do that dice can't:

You know that dice superstition that people have about how if they roll enough low numbers they're bound to get a high one? That sort of actually works with cards provided cards aren't immediately returned to the deck and the deck reshuffled. Because there's a limited number of each "roll," good or bad.

You can hold them in your hand. It's basically like pre-rolling a bunch of numbers and then getting to spend those numbers as they become relevant. Maybe you only get to draw more cards by playing all your cards, meaning that if you don't conserve your good cards your character's luck is eventually bound to run out.

You can make poker hands with them. Added to the previous point, maybe you will be forced to play a worse hand and have your character flub a non-critical roll because you're hoping for that better hand that'll turn the tide.

There's suits as an added bit of information that can be utilized for some mechanics. Maybe matching suit with an action type results in an extra benefit?

Ilford FP4+, Pentax K-1000, SMC-A 24mm f2.8 (last shot is SMC-A 50mm f1.4)

Why I never loved the "you can't truly make an anti-war movie" line is that the premise is that the language of cinema will, in some way, glorify the war it is supposedly condemning. The assumption there is that the glory lies in the film; it is inventing something that should not be there.

That is of course incorrect - war simply is glorious. Any cursory review of history & society resounds with it. Its glory is socially constructed, for sure, but so are most human emotions. Review the copious quantities of literature from veterans of military conflicts and so many of them speak to the moments they fucking loved it. From the winners, surely, but you even see it in the losers, a sense of meaning, power and identity that defeat took away from them, but that they still grasped in its peaks. Many, maybe the majority, of people who participate in war at least taste this.

And of course war is also monstrous and horrible, and never worth the price of such glory. In sum most participants hate it, or don't even live to have an opinion. People think those are contradictions but they really aren't - the endurance of horror and its mastery is a load-bearing component to the glory that emerges. Obviously media can do a lot to heighten or distort this, but it doesn't invent it; it comes from the reality the media is depicting. And its gonna be there with or without the media - your movie doesn't matter that much, don't make the mistakes of the 2000's media analysis boom all over again.

Film should never be simply one thing ofc, I can think of many segments of war that are a void for this dynamic. But for the films where this quote is relevant, in my opinion the best "anti-war" films actively engage with its glory. Otherwise its like attacking a strawman.

As a white veteran with a "middle class" upbringing at the time I was recruited, I can shed some light on these apparent contradictions. First let me preface that this is not a defense of anything the US Armed Forces have done or are doing; this is just a commentary on recruiting and service demographics, and on how statistics can be interpreted multiple different ways.

First, the above table shows neighborhood income levels, not family or individual income levels. The majority of recruits live in areas where the median household income is $42-88k, but this does not necessarily reflect the service member's income background. (Not to mention that a $60k household income means something totally different outside Wheeling, WV vs a NYC suburb but this chart treats them the same). The three central income quintiles on this graph represent the floor of the middle class in much of the US (salary range of middle class by state), and only include the lower bound of upper middle class in the poorest states.

Much of what is now lumped in with the middle class is deeply economically precarious. My family struggled to consistently put nutritious food on our table, never took vacations, never had cable TV or high speed internet, and rarely participated in any of the markers of "middle class" life. I moved out before I signed up, and I spent a few years living on bare subsistence working a variety of low wage part time jobs. I frequently had calorie deficits and struggled to pay rent, even with roommates. Yet the neighborhood median income (or even my parents' income) would have put me near the middle of this graph.

A major reason lower incomes are underrepresented in the US armed forces is eligibility: people with lower incomes are more likely to be overweight (poor diet, lack of opportunity for physical activity), suffer from disqualifying physical health issues (due to poor diet, environmental conditions, and lack of adequate healthcare), suffer from disqualifying mental health issues (poverty is stressful and access to mental health resources are limited), have a criminal record (because American society criminalizes poverty), and are less likely to complete high school. Something like 70% of US 18-year-olds are ineligible for military service, and this is more true among the lowest income than among the highest.

Of course a higher percentage of recruits have completed high school than the general population - a high school diploma or GED is a prerequisite for recruitment. According to the Department of Defense, only 1.5% of service members lack a high school diploma or equivalent (link), vs 8.9% of the adult population in the general public (census bureau link).

Also, the same site that provided the income graph also provided graphs showing the racial and ethnic diversity of the US Armed Forces, and how in many cases it exceeds the diversity of the general population (noting that Enlisted personnel make up 82% of the US Armed Forces).

Given that recruits from the poorest quintile still outnumber those from the wealthiest quintile, that recruits are more likely to be non-white than the general population, and that much of the middle quintiles of the neighborhood median income graph are financially precarious and do not indicate high levels of economic opportunity, the statement that "the average recruit is much closer to white, upper-middle class, educated, and with plenty of financial opportunities" either doesn't hold true compared to the general population of the US, or isn't especially meaningful where it is true (education).

Having said all of this, individual motivation for joining the Armed Forces is difficult to track. My own choice was partly economic, but it was also informed by a family tradition of military service and the sense of patriotic duty I felt at the time (noone is immune to propaganda, and I become an adult in the era of 9/11). On different days, I might have answered a survey asking my reason for joining differently, based on how I was feeling and without any intent to deceive.

It is also worth noting that public perceptions of military service are deeply unrealistic and disconnected from the reality of military service. Only about 20% of soldiers in the US Army are in primary combat occupations (e.g., infantry, armor, artillery). The rest are in some kind of support role, like driving trucks, repairing equipment, handling paperwork, or cooking. The proportion of combat arms has been shrinking over time (source). Of course, all of these other occupations are theoretically in service of making those in combat occupations more effective and capable, but most people don't think "line cook" or "truck mechanic" when they think soldier, even though there are more of them than there are infantry. It is very easy for a recruit (like I was) to justify to themselves that because their military specialty wasn't combat focused that they weren't a part of the worst actions and policies of that military, just as it is easy for most US citizens to justify to themselves that they aren't responsible for the actions of the military despite their part in voting for and funding its policies.

TL;DR military recruiting does unequally draw from lower incomes and those that perceive a lack of other options, and many of those that join are able to justify it to themselves even if they disagree with military policies or past actions because they are separated from the immediate harms of those actions and policies and because they don't feel like they have meaningful alternatives. A society that provided the necessities (nutritious food, shelter, and health care) to all its members would have a much tougher time recruiting than the US does.

The onion absolutely skewering AI tech bros.

“At the same time, families across the country face excruciating decisions to relocate to a different state to protect their children from dangerous and hateful anti-LGBTQI+ laws, which target transgender children, threaten families, and criminalize doctors and nurses. These bills and laws attack our most basic values and freedoms as Americans: the right to be yourself, the right to make your own medical decisions, and the right to raise your own children. Some things should never be put at risk: your life, your safety, and your dignity.”

That’s an excerpt from President Biden’s Proclamation on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Intersex Pride Month, 2024.

In my lifetime, we’ve gone from the White House press secretary laughing uproariously at AIDS patients and making sneering accusations of members of the press corps only asking about AIDS because they were gay to POTUS supporting the rights of trans people, trans kids, in a proclamation of national recognition of Pride.

No, more plainly, we’ve come to this point in the last fifteen years.

The depth, breadth and speed of this progress is astounding, especially as it has coexisted with absolute regression and a constant state of attack of LGBTQIA rights from Republicans.

Do not take this for granted.