Guess Who Just Read X-Men: Children Of The Atom (1999)?

✨Guess who just read X-Men: Children of the Atom (1999)?✨

Here’s some incorrect quotes for these dumb children that I adore.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

*in the Danger Room*

Bobby: Is anyone else scared?

Scott: Not really. I’ve already lived longer than I expected.

— — — — —

Jean: We call that a traumatic event!

Hank, turning to Scott: Not a “Yikes” moment!

Hank, turning to Warren: Or a “Major L”!

Hank, turning to Bobby: Or an “Ooph lmao”!

— — — — —

Warren: How much sleep did you get?

Scott: Like eight.

Warren: Hours?

Scott: Minutes.

— — — — —

Warren: Scott, I don’t know to tell you this, but you’re in love with me.

Scott: I am?

Scott:

Scott: Oh my god, I am!

Hank: What kind of confession am I witnessing?

— — — — —

Scott: Due to personal reasons, I will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Bobby: Warren said “I love you” and you said “Thank you”, didn’t you?

Scott: The reasons are pERSONAL!

— — — — —

Jean: I can’t believe you’re training today, Scott. Why aren’t you in bed?

Scott, with his voice clearly gone: I feel fine.

Bobby: That’s what we’re going to put on his gravestone. “He felt fine”.

— — — — —

Magneto: I will spare you misguided children if you are able to answer these riddles. He who makes me doesn’t want me. He who buys me doesn’t need me. He who uses me doesn’t care. What am I?

Scott: A child!

Magneto: Jesus Christ that’s dark. Are you okay? Do you need a heart-to-heart talk about this?

— — — — —

Warren: Okay, here’s the plan. First, we set off the fire alarms—

Hank: Warren, we can’t set off an alarm if there’s no fire; we’ll get in trouble!

Warren: Okay, fine. First, we’ll start a fire—

— — — — —

Warren: Do you ever get that feeling when you look at someone and your heart skips a beat?

Scott: That’s called arrhythmia.

Warren: I get that feeling every time I see you—

Scott: You can die from that.

Warren: I know you’re smart, but can you please stop for one second?

— — — — —

Scott: What do you even see in me…?

Warren: You should sit down.

Warren: {takes out an endless list}

Scott: Wha—

Warren: Let’s begin from the first time I saw your eyes (read: glasses) glimmering while you sat next to the class’s window—

— — — — —

Hank: So Jean! Our dear friend and teammate!

Bobby: We just wanted to remind you of how much you love us!

Warren: And how boring your life would be without us!

Jean, completely done: What did you do?

— — — — —

Warren: We’re just…

Scott: Working!

Warren: Yes! We were just working…together…independently…

Jean: So. You two work without your clothes on?

— — — — —

Bobby: We could be killed!

Warren: Or worse, the professor could give us another lecture on “responsibility”!

— — — — —

Warren: I have an idea.

Jean: A good one?

Warren: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

— — — — —

Scott: Oh wow, this computer is huge.

Warren: Yeah, almost as big as my dic—

Scott: What?

Warren: —tionary…

— — — — —

Hank: What’s wrong with you?

Scott: Off the top of my head, I’d say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

— — — — —

Bobby: If I cut off my foot and, like, swing it at you, am I kicking you or hitting you?

Hank: You’ll most likely mentally scar me more than anything.

— — — — —

Warren: {flirts with Scott}

Scott: {flirts back}

Warren: Well, I wasn’t prepared for this outcome.

— — — — —

Xavier: What could be giving you anxiety?

Scott: Umm, let’s see. Every aspect of my life.

— — — — —

Jean: You have no idea how to show affection to anyone!

Scott: That is not true! I hugged Warren once!

Jean: That was a chokehold!

Scott: Same thing!

— — — — —

*after Xavier takes him in*

Scott: Mental health? Zero.

Scott: Am I okay? No.

Scott: Will I be okay tomorrow? Probably not.

Scott: Hotel? Trivago.

— — — — —

Warren, talking to Bobby: My sexuality is more complex, you see. It’s a spectrum.

Scott: {smiles at him from across the room}

Warren: Gay, I’m fucking gay.

— — — — —

Hank, telepathically to Jean: He’s in the kitchen again.

Warren: “Beat three eggs” in what? Hand to hand combat??

Jean: Get him out!

— — — — —

Scott: I like you how I like my emotions.

Warren: Explain?

Scott, whispering in his ear: Buried deep inside me.

— — — — —

Scott: Life keeps fucking me, and I can’t remember the safe word.

— — — — —

Bobby: {holds up rock covered in painted pride flags} Wanna throw this through a homophobe’s window?

Scott: I’m down, but heads up I might fall asleep halfway through. I’m barely awake right now.

— — — — —

Scott: There’s a tiger painted here. It’s got a fierce look on its face, as if to say, “Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.”

Scott: Don’t worry, Mr. Tiger. Hope and I haven’t been on speaking terms for a while now.

— — — — —

Scott: Have you ever been handcuffed before?

Warren: Wait, sexually? Or by law enforcement?

— — — — —

Scott: I get really nervous when Warren compliments me. Sometimes, I really don’t know what to say.

*later*

Warren: You look beautiful today.

Scott, panicking: Happy Birthday—

— — — — —

Hank: Please, that is utter terminological inexactitude.

The rest of the o5:

Hank: {sighs} That’s bullshit, fuckers.

— — — — —

Jean: How many times do I need to tell you guys this? Pick up any trash you find and don’t leave it lying around! It’s not that hard!

Warren: There’s no need to talk about Bobby like that; he’s right here.

Bobby:

Jean and Hank: Warren, no—

Scott: Geez, Jean, you could’ve just asked me to leave and I would’ve.

Jean and Hank: SCOTT, NO—

— — — — —

Warren: You’re pretty cute when you’re nice.

Scott: What am I when I’m not nice?

Warren: Hot as fuck.

— — — — —

Warren: Hey, remember that time I accidentally walked around telling everyone I got a hentai tattoo instead of a henna tattoo?

Bobby: You mean the best day of my life?

Bobby: I recall.

Sometimes a family is a counter intelligence specialist with a classified secondary specialty, her nameless ninja commando boyfriend, and their wolf.

I recently learned that Miles has a baby sister named Billie in the comics 🥹

(the snowmobile race scene (S1 ep.7) lives in my head rent free)

Rogue: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Kitty: But wasn’t Scott with you?

Scott: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

when will y’all realize tyejaime is god tier…. when

(its up as a speedpaint on my yt)

I love X-Men Evo, and I have hundreds of incorrect quotes saved. I love all of these dumb teens (as well as Logan and Ororo) very much.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Scott: No, I’ll tell you what the problem is! The problem is—

Lance: {holds his breath and covers his ears}

Scott: Great, that’s just what your brain needs. Less oxygen.

— — — — —

Pietro: Isn’t it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they’re annoying?

Pietro: Imagine if people did that to other people? I would’ve been dead years ago!

— — — — —

Rogue: Behold, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

— — — — —

Kurt, during training: Hey, who wants to see an impression of my mother?

Scott: Kurt, no.

*Kurt teleports out of the room*

Scott: KURT, NO!

— — — — —

Scott: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Kurt: Plane tickets?

Evan: Concert tickets?

Kitty: Prostitution?

Scott, eyes closed, holding his shades: Glasses.

— — — — —

Lance: {walks in}

Todd and Fred: {making horse noises at each other}

Lance: {walks out}

— — — — —

Tabitha: Every now and then, I like to do as I’m told just to confuse people.

— — — — —

Kitty: {running away from mutants working for Magneto while on the phone}

Scott: Where are you?!

Kitty: I don’t know! You tell me!

Scott: Any sort of notable sign or something?!

Kitty: Umm…staircase!

Scott:

Scott: Anything else? Like a room name?! Any item that’s unique?!

Kitty: Fire extinguisher!

Rogue, muttering under her breath: She’s gonna die…

— — — — —

Kurt: When life gives you lemons—

Rogue: Squeeze them in people’s eyes.

— — — — —

Evan: Someday, in the distant future, people will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to respond with “baby don’t hurt me”.

Kitty: So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

— — — — —

Wanda: Can you pass the pepper?

Todd: What’s the ~magic word~?

*Wanda begins chanting*

Pietro, panicking: JUST TAKE IT OH MY GOD

— — — — —

Xavier: I admit, I was wrong to give up on you all so quickly.

The Brotherhood: Good.

Xavier: However—

The Brotherhood: No, no however. Just be wrong. Just live in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it.

— — — — —

Lance: Where’s the yogurt? I thought you went to the store?

Pietro: {incoherent mumbling}

Lance: Huh?

Pietro: IT WAS ON THE TOP SHELF

Lance:

Pietro: I COULDN’T REACH IT

— — — — —

*at the zoo*

Lance: So, what are they in for?

Kitty: This isn’t prison.

Lance: So they can leave?

Kitty: Well, no but—

Lance, pointing at a penguin: I bet that one killed somebody.

— — — — —

Xavier: Do you know why I chose you as my first student?

Scott: I assumed you lost a bet.

— — — — —

Scott: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Evan: “Best smile”.

Kurt: “Nicest personality”.

Kitty: “Most likely to start a bar fight”.

Rogue: “Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one”.

— — — — —

Jean: Evan, if we get out of this alive, I will kill you.

Evan: So what’s my incentive to live?

— — — — —

Kurt: Are you a morning person or an evening person?

Scott: If I’m lucky, I get a good few minutes in during the middle of the day.

— — — — —

Scott: Sorry I’m late. I broke down on my way here.

Rogue: Is your car okay?

Scott: Car?

Rogue:

The X-Men:

— — — — —

Lance: Mystique is gonna try and have you killed.

Scott: I can’t say that surprises me.

— — — — —

Kurt, about Tabitha: I don’t know what she’s planning, but I can tell you two things. We won’t like it, and it won’t be legal.

— — — — —

Pietro: Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?

— — — — —

Todd: Why are only roosters allowed to start the day screaming?

Lance: Because we live in the same house and I will murder you.

— — — — —

Scott: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club.

Wanda: What club?

Rogue: The hating Magneto club.

Wanda:

Wanda: The fuck? I should be the leader of that club.

— — — — —

Kitty: Guys! Logan just fell down the stairs!

Ororo: And what did he say?

Kitty: Should I skip the swearing?

Ororo: Yes.

Kitty: Then he fell in silence.