Irrevocably Yours

Irrevocably Yours

Astarion x Durge! Y/N - drabble - 1.1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: mention of SA on reader, nothing too graphic, hurt/comfort, Astarion being himself (aka sweet af because that man is SOFT and I will die on that hill), in my feels big time, Durge reader!

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You rushed to camp, the brush and trees scraping at your skin. You clutched your shirt together, tears streaming down your face. You finally saw camp, sprinting the rest of the way. The sun was long gone from the sky but you could see that everyone was still awake. 

“Astarion?” you yelled when you didn’t immediately see him. Your voice was watery and weak. Your eyes were frantically looking around for him. Your cheeks were stained with tears that never ceased to fall. 

Astarion heard the urgency in your voice and your erratic heart beat, he threw his book down and rushed out of his tent. “Darling?” he said.

As soon as your eyes found him your sobs intensified as you rushed into his arms. He held you tightly as you nuzzled into him. Your head rested in the crook of his neck, he felt your tears hit his skin and his heart broke. 

“My sweet, what happened? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he gently pulled you away, just enough to see your face while still keeping you in his arms. 

Your glossy eyes searched his before glancing at his tent. He looked around, noticing your campmates giving you both concerning looks. He held your hands as he moved you both into his tent to gain some privacy. He sat down but you immediately shuffled into his lap, holding him close. Your fists were tightly grasping his shirt. 

Astarion looked down at you, wiping your tears away. That's when he noticed your shirt. He gently moved it a bit, noticing the buttons were ripped off. He noticed the top two buttons to your pants were also undone. If his heart was still beating it would be racing.

“My love, can you tell me what happened?” he said gently.

“I… I d-didn’t realize h-how late it was…” your voice was shaking, you were terrified and he knew it. “I was trying to find the password for the door to get to the murder tribunal… the alleyway was so dark… so, so dark.” he could see the pain in your eyes as you went on. “A man… a worshiper of Bhaal… he was outside… he pushed me against the wall… I couldn’t move…”

“Did he touch you?” Astarion asked as delicately as he could. You knew what he was referring to. 

You let out a sob, before nodding slightly. “He… he ripped my shirt open… and - and he put his hand down my pants.” you curled into him, you felt shame even though you knew it wasn’t your fault. None of this was. 

“Did he…” Astarion’s eyes looked into yours with the utmost sympathy. 

You shook your head, “I - I didn’t know what to do… I - I used… I became… the slayer.” you looked down. You swore you would never use it. Bhaal had “gifted” you the heinous form when you killed your sister, Orin. It disgusted you to your core, if you felt anything you felt shame about using Bhaal’s gift. 

“You did the right thing.” Astarion said as he cradled your head, rocking you back and forth slightly. “Did you kill him?” he asked.

“No… he ran off… I was scared to death… all I wanted was to come home… come to you.” You held Astarion’s cheek, searching his eyes for something unknown. 

Astarion nodded at you, “Let’s get you changed and go to sleep, alright?” 

You nodded, wanting nothing more than to slip away. You bathed alone, Astarion standing watch at the front of the tent per your request. You changed alone as well before beckoning him back inside. 

He handed you a small green vial, “To help you sleep.” he said gently. He laid down with you. You curled up against him, wanting him as close as possible. You fell asleep quickly after downing the bitter liquid. Astarion connected his parasite to yours, you stirred slightly but remained asleep. He felt your panic, your terror as he watched the scene unfold before his eyes. But he found what he wanted, the man's face. 

He snuck out of the tent, a murderous mission in mind. 

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You woke to the birds chirping. The warmth from the sun radiating inside the tent. You rolled over to see Astarion discarding a blood drenched shirt. His pale chest was covered in crimson, along with his hands. His face had spatters here and there. You sat up slowly. “What happened?”

“I cleansed the rot.” Astarion said, sounding like the kind myconid from the Underdark. 

You knew exactly what he meant and for the first time since that man held you against the wall, you felt the clench in your stomach relax. You beckoned him over, holding your hand out. 

He kneeled in front of you. “I don’t want to touch you… not with him on me.” 

You held his face, leaning your forehead against his as you nodded. You kissed him hesitantly, scared it would take you right back to that alleyway. But it didn’t. All you felt was immense love and gratitude for your lover. “Thank you.” you whispered. Astarion kissed you again before pulling back.

“I’m going to wash. When I come back we are not leaving this tent for the day. We can do whatever you like, my sweet.” he tilted your chin up slightly. You gave him a small smile. You knew it would take time to process and heal but you couldn’t ask for a more understanding partner. You knew for a fact he would never pressure you and would always be there to comfort you through thick and thin. 

Astarion started to fill the small tub. “May I stay?” you asked. 

Astarion nodded, smiling at you as he handed you one of his clean shirts. He knew you liked wearing his clothes since they were oversized and breathable. You slipped it on before rolling the sleeves up and shimmying out of your pants. You tied the tent entrance shut before picking up a stool and setting it behind the tub. Astarion’s head leaned back, a quizzical look on his face. You started massaging his scalp. He let out a sigh, loving your gentle touch. You washed his hair as he cleaned the blood off himself. When you finished you placed delicate kisses over his neck and shoulders. You leaned your head on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around him loosely, giving him a back hug. 

“What is it darling?” he said.

“I’m just… grateful.” you said simply. 

He leaned back further, “I love you.” he whispered before pulling you in by the chin to kiss him. 

“I love you.” you said back before leaning on him again. The simple fact of him being with you. His soft touches that never scared you. Everything about the man in front of you. He is your everything, your heart was irrevocably his. And you would have it no other way.

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Naboo's Note:

Hello! I hope everyone likes this. My period hormones hit me hard today so here is this lol How is everyone? I hope you're all well. I have quite a few fic ideas lined up so be on the lookout for those! XOXOXOXOXOXO! Thanks for everything!

i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person

KRISTEN STEWART

Photographed by Collier Schorr for Rolling Stone (March 2024)

little death

Felice Casorati (Italian 1883-1963)

The Concert, 1924

May I?

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.4K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: fluff, illusion to trauma, Cazador mention, soft Astarion, suggested smut, so sweet you will literally get a cavity

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“I don’t know how else to be with someone… no matter how much I’d like to be.”

You had never heard someone sound so sad, conflicted, and scared. But all you could do was smile gently at him. “May I hold your hand?” you asked him.

His eyes widened ever so slightly, nobody had ever asked before they touched him. He nodded at you.

“I like you Astarion, I don’t have to have sex with you to know that. I also know what it is to be afraid of touch, to be violated. We never have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” you squeezed his hand gently to emphasize your point as you looked into his eyes.

He pondered for a moment, “I… I’d like that. You’re full of surprises aren’t you?” 

You laughed slightly before pulling him towards the campfire to join your friends. 

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Astarion splashed water at you while you attempted to chase him. Both of you standing in the lake up to your hips. You laughed and giggled like you were having the best time of your life. The sky was orange with pink clouds, making the blue water look tinged with gold. You had never seen Astarion smile so much. The two of you continued splashing around for what felt like hours before you stilled. You held your arm up as the sun slipped behind the horizon. 

You watched as the light and warmth slipped away from your fingers. “Goodbye friend, see you tomorrow.” you whispered.

Astarion looked at you quizzically, not understanding your strange little ritual. 

Your eyes met his and your face instantly felt hot, embarrassed he had seen such a private moment. “I was a rather lonely child. But the sun, my constant companion, came back every day just to greet me.” you explained to him as you ghosted your fingers over the lake's surface making ripples dance across its glassy surface. 

Astarion smiled, “Quite the opposite for me. All those years, the moon was my only companion. I took comfort in her ethereal glow.” Astarion copied your movements, your ripples colliding with his.  “Do you think you could ever be without the sun?” he asked, his rounding with a hint of worry. 

“The sun will always rise again for me no matter how long I am away. What about you? Think you could survive without the moon?” you answered.

“She hasn’t failed me yet.” he said cheekily. He leaned forward a bit, his hand twitching towards yours. 

You opened your hand to him but kept it distant, giving him the choice to come to you or not. He gently slid his cold fingers between yours. You smiled at each other, listening to the rustle of the leaves and the water lapping against you. You watched the moon for a bit, talking about the stars and whatever else interested you both.

And before you knew it, your old friend was making its way back into the sky. 

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You stood over the fire, waiting for the small pot of water to boil so you could make yourself some tea before turning in for the night. You yawned; everyone else was asleep but the sweet dream world eluded you. You heard steps behind you, instantly knowing it was Astarion by how light they were.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked quietly.

You hummed in response as you turned to him. “May I hug you?” you asked him.

He smiled, “Of course darling.” he opened his arms to you.

You instantly slipped into his embrace, sighing with happiness. His broad chest was cold but inviting. You nuzzled into him feeling sleepy already. You heard the water boiling and pulled away from his embrace. You made a cup of tea for both you and him; two sugars and a little milk, just the way he liked. 

Astarion gently pulled you back into his chest as you both sipped your tea. You drank it quickly, the warmth from the tea lulling you to sleep. You dozed off, turning on your side and shuffling closer to Astarion. 

You were curled up against him, like a cat, he thought to himself. He smiled down at you, watching your chest rise and fall with shallow breaths. He gently pushed your hair out of the way, “Gods I love you.” he mumbled. He stayed like that the whole night, reveling in your soft touch. 

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Astarion pulled you into his favorite jewelry shop in all of Baldur’s Gate, The Glitter Gala. He excitedly looked at all the pieces in the cases. His eyes focused on a ruby pendant with an onyx chain. He quickly moved on, you noticed he never bought anything for himself despite having quite a bit of gold between the two of you. You cursed Cazador in moments like these, knowing that Astarion didn’t buy anything because he knew he wouldn’t be allowed to keep it when he was a slave. You broke away from him momentarily and quickly bought the pendant so he wouldn’t see. You excitedly clenched your pocket every now and then, just wanting to know you had the pendant. 

Later, when you sat in his tent listening to him read you laid your head on his lap. He absent mindedly played with your locks, both of you finding it comforting.

“Close your eyes and give me your hand.” you said.

He eyed you suspiciously, cautiously holding his hand out and covering his eyes with the other. 

“No peeking!” you giggled when you saw him look between his fingers. 

He closed his eyes for good, feeling something cold and smooth in his palm. 

“Ok, open your eyes!” you said excitedly, sitting up.

Astarion gazed at the very same pendant he looked at earlier but denied himself. He rubbed his thumb over the smooth ruby before he looked at you. His eyes were misty and you could see he was holding back tears. 

“I don’t remember the last time somebody got me a gift,” he whispered. 

Your eyes softened and you shuffled closer to him. He pulled you into a hug and as you leaned back, he tilted your chin up and kissed you softly. You pulled back, smiling as you clasped the pendant around his neck. 

You ran your thumb over the ruby, “I enchanted it… your armor is twice as strong as long as you wear this.” 

Astarion quickly wiped the tears from his eyes before he cradled your face, “Thank you little love, this is… absolutely wonderful.”

“May I kiss you again?” you asked politely.

“Please…” he said under his breath.

You hooked your finger under the onyx chain, gently pulling him towards you before your lips met again in a sweet kiss. 

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Astarion laid on the ground after Orin kicked him in the chest, he saw her raise her sword and prepared to feel the sting of the blade. When nothing came down, he opened his eyes. He saw you rush her, tackling her to the ground. He stayed on the ground, watching in awe as you pinned her beneath you.

“Nobody touches him.” you growled in her face before swiftly slitting her throat. 

Astarion scrambled over to you, helping you up. Blood dripped off your face, you kept your eyes on Orin, rage still seething within you. 

“You’re alright darling, I’ve got you.” Astarion said, “Are we done here?” he asked the others. They nodded to him, Karlach beginning to search Orin’s corpse for anything useful. Astarion nodded before opening the sigil, taking you both back to camp.

You took a bath, Astarion waited for you outside. You noticed him smiling at you as you brushed your hair. “What?” you said, turning to look at him.

“When you killed Orin, I’ve never seen you look so…” he started.

“Deranged?” you asked, a tinge of fear in your voice. Today was easily your most savage moment, something took over you when she dared to touch Astarion.

“Attractive,” he said with a smirk, “Honestly my sweet, I would have taken you then and there if I could have.” 

Your mouth parted slightly, you felt a familiar heat pool between your legs. 

His hands gently parted your legs as he kneeled before you while you sat at your vanity. “May I?” he said as he looked between your eyes and your crotch with what you could only describe as animalistic hunger. 

You nodded, throwing your head back as he dove in like a man starved.

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Naboo's Note:

Hello!!! Hope everyone likes this, I am working overnight for the next few days so I will try to pump out a new fic or two because what the fuck else do I have to do during this time lol. I hope ya'll are doing well. As always, thank you for the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests. XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!