Write Fanfic For Yourself.

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Write fanfic for yourself.

Publish fanfic for the rotation of 3-6 people who are devoted readers and will either go feral or leave you very nice words and yell with you about it.

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Warnings: Uhhh. Non-graphical smut and slight angst, but that's pretty much it for now since I'm still crafting the next part, and some curse words lmao.

I won't control you, but MDNI. This is not for you, please.

Pairings: OT7/(F) Reader

Plot: Seven dates that has a significant mark in your life, one of which massively tilted and fucked up your world for good.

Seven men you didn't want to have more significance in your life than they already have for each of those dates you desperately want to forget.

Genre: mutual pining (ik, ik, i'm sorry), light angst, denial of feelings, eventual poly ot7

placeholder: avoust xxix - óutobre xxxi - nouvèmbre xv - desèmbre xxvi - febrié xxiii - mai xiii - juliet xxii

this is not my first dabble at the bts fandom but this was my first bangtan fic i posted in ao3 2 years ago bc i was a baby army (and my first bangtan creation [not the mixtape series] one is still unfinished and unposted wkwkwkw) so pls be kind to me uwu n i don't really have army moots so if you wanna, come say hi to me on twitter @shimaeara (i don't use it for now because i have no moots there yet) this fic is fucking self-serve and was written without sleep and came to me after reading a fucking drarry slowburn and binge listening to Moonchild and continued after weeks(months) of procrastination and am not good at smut so i might not be able to write it graphically for now idk sorry (edit, 2023: I can write smut now lmao but im still not good at it so i'll try!!!!) artists mentioned are not mine and own themselves. only my original character is self-made, and portrayal and descriptions are in no way real and did not happen in life. everything is entirely fictional not beta'd so i take full responsibility for each and every mistake, my existence included.

i'm reposting this right now because of the date in my country (and a happy birthday to my irl bestfriend, allain. hope you're happy wherever you are, fucker

aight imma head out

💜 You're not aware of the date today.

You wake up unusually early. It's ironic—everything today seems to be, and it's only six in the morning. That in itself should've clued you in because never in a million years would you wake up at five fucking thirty ahead of your alarm, and a weekend at that.

No one dare wake you up voluntarily before seven safest, not after that incident with an overly-hyper Joji that resulted in him sporting a black eye and split lip for a week. No hard feelings were had; you've been bestfriends with him during the past few years since he became your client at the villa. It was resolved with a quick fuck before you even got out of bed. Everybody pretended that the scratches on his back were—ahem—inflicted during the fight.

Pft. Sure.

He has since left residence, but he still flounces around whenever his schedule allows, the motherfucker. You should remind him to bring his own food next time because he cleansweeps the fridge every time.

Your mood has been off since you opened your eyes. You lie there for a few minutes before you realize that it's still kind of dark outside, and a quick check of your phone informs you of the time.

5:36 am

Huh. That's fucking early.

You rub at your chest softly, wondering where the hollow sinking feeling is coming from and what roused you from your sleep. Granted that yes, you're not the most mentally healthy person, but the feeling is different from usual. Almost worse.

You try to go back to sleep but right as you were about to drift off, your bladder decides to kick in. Groaning, you roll out of bed and pad sleepily to your bathroom to do your business with closed eyes, trying not to let go of your sleepiness. Of course, that proves futile. You aren't able to fall right back to sleep after that. Normally, you'd have no problem jumping right back to snoozing, but again, irony.

When trying prove to be useless, you decide to get up. On the way down, you forget to take your phone with you, and you ain't going back to sixth ass floor when you're already on the second. You continue onward and bump into Shads. "Morning, Matt."

He looks at you in trepidation, and you laugh lightly at his expression. Nobody dare forget that you're not a morning person. "Hey, Y/N."

"Relax, I'm not gonna punch you." He laughs at that and visibly relaxes.

"You're up early," he comments.

"Yeah. I don't even know why, and I can't go back to sleep now anyways so..."

He nods. "Well, I'm just turning in. Need to catch some sleep before we fly later."

"Fun night?" You ask.

He snorts at that with a laugh as he turns away to walk to his room. "Wish. Had to be at the studio to fix some things."

"Aw, you poor baby."

"Fuck off."

You both laugh and walk away; him towards his room, and you towards the kitchen. "Sleep well. I'll make sure the car will be here later for you guys."

"Thanks, babe."

You feel it again while you are making myself a cup of hot chocolate at the communal kitchen. You have a love-hate relationship with coffee, so you don't drink it that much. You thump your chest lightly with a slight grimace, the feeling almost crushing now. Your heart is racing and you don't know why, hands shaking as you grip the counter and try to breathe through your mouth.

"Y/N?"

You look up to see Jin in his pajamas, blinking at you owlishly. "Hey, Jin." Your grimace morphs into an awkward smile and you put your arms to your side in fear that he might've seen it—he did.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you say, ignoring the heavy pounding feeling in your chest. He doesn't look convinced. "You're up early."

He shakes his head. "This is my usual waking time. You're early."

Well, you don't have a rebut for that.

"Are you sure you're okay, Y/N?" he asks again when you stay silent.

"Yeah." You will yourself to calm down, even though it's obviously unsuccessful. "I think I'm just having a heartburn."

He raises an eyebrow at that, clearly not buying your lie. He decides to spare you instead. "You shouldn't be having hot chocolate then; that will just trigger it more. Sit. I'll make us some tea."

"No, no, it's okay! I'm fine." You try to argue, but you quickly shut up when he narrows his eyes at you. You wait in awkward silence as he prepares the tea and starts making breakfast, possibly for his friends. Once it was done, you thank him and turn to go back to your room.

"Where are you going?" he asks, spatula raised from where he is cooking.

"Back to my room?"

He shakes his head. "No, you sit. I'm making breakfast anyway."

"But I—"

"Are you really this stubborn?" When you remain silent, he hums and goes back to cooking "That's what I thought. Now sit down."

And what choice do you have?

"Do you take any medicines?" he asks after a few minutes of silence.

"...no?"

"Not even for anxiety? Or anything?"

Wow. What happened to sparing you? You shake your head no. He just raises his brows at that and (mercifully) changes the topic. "What are you doing today?"

"Nothing. It's my first break in months, so I think I might just sleep all day and stay in bed. I don't know." You shrug. "How 'bout you guys? Do you have promotions today?"

He shakes his head. "Nah. We're all preparing for Jungkook's birthday. It's in three days."

Wait. Jungkook's birthday is September 1.

You stop at that, the cup of tea paused from where you were just about to take a drink. "T-three days?" You ask shakily as he puts some food on a plate and places it down in front of you, unaware of your inner turmoil. The food smells amazing, but you don't think you can handle eating right now.

"Yeah. It's 29 today, isn't it?" Jin takes his phone that was on the counter and checks, then puts the phone back down. "It is. We're gonna prepare a surprise for him."

Fuck.

"That's good," you say, trying not to show how your heart feels like it's about to burst out of your chest. He smiles at you and turns back to where he's cooking.

So that's why you've been feeling off since you woke up. 29th. It's the 29th of August today.

You finish your food with difficulty but you don't show it to him to not be ungrateful. His cooking is great, but your mind is really just elsewhere today. "Thanks for the breakfast. And uh, the tea." You clear your throat as you finish washing your plate.

"No biggie." He smiles brightly and you almost forget—almost.

"Have fun today with your plans. I'll be"—you swallow as you leave the room almost hurriedly, and Jin finally notices your distress—"I'll be in my room if you guys need something from me."

You hear him ask if you were really okay but you ignore it, almost tripping on your way out. You don't know you've been holding your breath until you let it out as you reach your room and flop uselessly on your bed. You can't even cry at this rate. You've spent so long crying that it left you tearless and empty. When you try to look deeper, the pain is crippling that you can't even move to shed a tear. It feels like being suspended mid-air in a dark void with that feeling that you might fall anytime, only you don't know when and if the fall will finally kill you.

You spend the whole day in bed with minimal to no human interaction. Matt swung by midday and thanked you with a hug before the band left. It will be hours later when someone knocks on your door again.

It's Namjoon.

"Y/N?"

You're tempted to not answer him. While yes, your closeness with him and his group came a long way from just them being your clients, you still don't feel comfortable with giving them the burden of trying to deal with your tragedies and discomfort. He calls your name again with a light knock before you amble to the door weakly, opening it just an inch. "Hey."

You smile at him, but it's clear as day that you aren't really feeling it. "Hey, Namjoon."

"Are you okay?" He pauses, then shakes his head. "No, you're obviously not. Can I come in?"

And of course, he can.

One thing you like about him is his maturity and perceptiveness. With the chaos that comes with his group, Namjoon keeps them tethered. You love their group, you really do. But when the energy becomes too much, you're thankful because he always senses your need to slow down and calms them. Maybe it's the same reason you're drawn to him the most out of all of them. All you know is it isn't just a plain crush on such a charming person anymore. When you spend a lot of time with someone so kind and wonderful, their looks become just a fucking bonus. Every time you look at him your heart won't stop racing, and it's the exhilarating type that makes you sweat and puts the coil in your stomach.

You both sit on the bed, pulling up the covers as he sits a respectable distance from you.

"Hyung told me what happened," he says at last. Your stomach drops at that. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Do you want to?

With your silence, he continues. "I understand if you don't want to. Just know that we're here for you." Then softly, "I'm here for you."

Your heart stutters, but you keep your face neutral by giving him a soft smile. "Thank you, Namjoon."

After a few minutes, he asks, "Is it because of Jungkook?"

"What?"

"Jin-hyung said you ran away when he mentioned our surprise for Jungkook." There is an emotion you can't name that briefly flits through his face before it smooths out to curiosity. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No!" At his surprised face, you backtrack. "No," you say in a much softer voice. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"I—"

"Noona!"

Wow. Speak of the devil and all that jazz.

Jungkook bursts through the door, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere in the room. Or if he does, he doesn't comment on it. "My favorite Noona~!" He climbs on the bed and sits beside you.

Your eyes flit to Namjoon, and you nearly miss the sharp look he gives him when Jungkook lies with his head on your lap. You snort at Jungkook's antics, a slow smile spreading to your lips.

"I bet you say that to all your noonas," you tease, to which Jungkook splutters.

"No, I don't!" He turns to Namjoon. "Tell her, hyung."

"I—what?"

"That she is my favorite noona!"

"You do say that to all your noonas, Kook." Namjoon deadpans.

"Hyung!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Namjoon laughs. "Everyone knows you love Y/N the most."

"Yeah! Don't be jealous though, hyung." Jungkook chides, a crimson blush slowly spreading over Namjoon's cheeks. "We all know you love her the most."

"Hey—!"

"By the way," Jungkook back turns to you and ignores Namjoon's protesting, "we're all going out later. Want to come with?"

"Uh," you awkwardly scratch the back of your head. "I don't know, Jungkook. I—"

"Please?" He pulls his infamous doe eyes that makes it hard to refuse. While you normally don't have an issue with going out, you're not feeling up for it today. Especially not today of all days.

Your mind drifts to your old friends.

It's been seven years since they'd all been gone, but the memory is still fresh. For the past few years, you'd celebrated this day—all their birthdays—cradling a bottle of whatever liquor you get your hands on. You'd plow through bottle after bottle, glass after glass, trying to forget that you would have been celebrating with them had that day not happened. Then, you'd come home and sob yourself to sleep and pass out from being drunk because them being gone meant your alcohol tolerance was suddenly gone too.

"Y/N?" You snap out of your trance and see both men looking at you in confusion. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah." The hollow feeling intensifies and you feel a little nauseous, but you shake it off. "Sorry, what was that again?"

"Do you want to come with us later?" Jungkook's mood subdues at your lost expression, concern marring his pretty face. "But you can say no if you don't want to!"

You know they really wouldn't force you to come with them if you say no. They never once made you feel like you have no choice with the shenanigans they drag you into.

Then you think about what Alex would probably say if he's still here, what all of them would say. They'd kick your ass for stopping yourself from celebrating and getting wasted. They'd tell you that you need to try to forget even just for a day, and that drinking a whole ass bar is one way to do it. They would probably say some shit about honoring them by getting shitfaced.

"Okay," you say weakly.

The two men looks at you apprehensively.

"Are you sure, Y/N? We really wouldn't mind."

You nod. "It's fine. I'm sure it'll be fun."

"It will be!" Jungkook says excitedly. "I'll make sure it is."

And make sure, he does.

Eight pm rolls around and you're ready to head out with them. You don't want to risk them being seen with someone who'll just drag their image down so as much as it pains you, you actually do put effort in dressing up and looking presentable. Normally, you would just wear the most comfortable outfit. You can't risk that tonight, however. You're going out with people who has all eyes on them. Being associated with someone who looks remotely like a trash can would do nothing good for their image, although you know they could care less about that.

"Noona, you read...y?" You turn around in time to see Jungkook's Adam's apple bob in his throat. His eyes rakes your figure and you can't help the slight flush in your cheeks when you meet his intense gaze.

"Am I overdressed?" You try to joke, but it feels weak. He shakes his head, cheeks a lovely shade of pink.

"You look wonderful, noona ." He mutters under his breath, "too wonderful."

"What?"

He ignores that, giving you a blinding smile. "Shall we go?"

You feel baffled by his actions, but nod at him nonetheless. "Lemme just put on my shoes." You turn around and miss his eyes go wide when you bend over to slip on your pumps. He subtly adjusts himself through his pants and tears his eyes away from your ass before you can catch him staring. "Let's go?"

"Y-yeah." He clears his throat. "Hyungs are all waiting downstairs."

"Are you sure you're okay?" You ask. You walk over to him and put your hand on his forehead, unaware of his inner turmoil at the skin contact.

He catches your hand, and you gasp at his intense stare. A few seconds pass and he squeezes your hand before letting go.

"I'm okay." He then smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Let's go?"

--

You've already lost track of how many drinks you've consumed tonight. The corner of the bar was the perfect place and you made a beeline for it straight away once you spot it, unaware of Namjoon's eyes that were trained on you the whole time. You know you probably should've stuck with the others but you know your presence wouldn't be missed that much, so you stay put. You just left when you had enough turning down unwanted attention. Seriously, can't they all get a fucking hint?

"There you are!"

You startle as you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn around and Jungkook stands there with a dopey smile. You assume he's on the way to being drunk now, but you really can't tell. "Y/N! I've been looking for you everywhere."

Obviously not everywhere. "Sorry, Kookie. I was just at the bar."

His smile gets wider at the pet name. "Kookie?"

"Oh, I mean—"

"I like it." He takes your hand with a slight tug. "Come on, let's go find the others."

You let him lead you and weave through the throng of partygoers. You feel the warmth of his hand on yours and fixate on it. Too much, that you don't know where he's leading you until the sounds of music gets muffled and muted. There's a firm click and thud, and you're being pushed against the door. His lips are on yours before you can even comprehend what's happening.

It takes you a few seconds to realize that you're kissing back. Weakly at first, you try to push him off you until he takes the hint.

His lips detach from yours and he pulls away, breathing heavily. His profile is illuminated by the purple light of the room, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest from catching his breath.

"What are we doing?" You ask him, eyes wide.

"Nothing you won't consent to."

You look at each other wordlessly. He steps back a little from you and removes his hands on your hips. You realize that he's giving you an out if you want to, but that you really don't want him to give you an out.

The last part scares you.

"I won't force you to anything you don't want to," he says gravelly. "You can always say no."

"What if I don't want to?" You mumble. "Say no, that is."

He looks confused for a moment. When it dawns on him, however, his lips pull into a slow devilish smirk. Goosebumps follow his fingers on your skin.

"Then we do whatever you want."

It's all a blur after that.

His lips find yours again, hands seeking the curve of your hips. He trails kisses on your cheeks down to your neck and chest, and sucks bruises that make you gasp out loud as your hands tangle in his silky hair. They don't slack grip as you guide him down right where you want his mouth and hands.

He takes you twice; first is when he pounds you from behind. Your hair is fisted in his hands as he pulls on it, and your eyes roll back in pleasure.

He thrusts deeper when you moan loud. "Stay quiet, noona," the honorific sounding sinful from his lips. You keen when he grinds his hips and hit that wonderful spot.

The second is with your legs wrapped around his waist, arms on his shoulder. You can feel the pulse of his cock inside you with every savage thrust, and it makes you forget what it is you're running from. Half-crescent scratches are etched on his shoulders as you grip him tightly when you come, his hips stuttering in rhythm as his own orgasm crashes through him when you tighten around him.

Once you both finally catch your breath, he puts you down gently and fixes the creases on your dress.

"I'm taking this home," he says and pockets your panties. You don't have it in you to protest. Instead, you settle on rolling your eyes at him with a placid smile.

"I think you fucked the sad out of me," you say as your breathing calms to normal. You run your fingers through his hair and he kisses your wrist. "Thank you, Kookie. Happy birthday."

He pulls you into a tender hug, pressing a kiss on your hair. "Love you, Y/N."

You don't respond, don't need to. You know he feels it with how you fix his appearance and ruffle his hair as you lead him out of the room, totally unaware of a set of eyes that follow you both on your way out.

yEEESSSS

im so well-fed while waiting for the yandere!felix fic 😭😭😭

All in an hour

pairing: felix x reader

summary: A lot can happen in one hour...in other words during what's supposed to be a fun night with all of the others felix instead suffers through a night desperation, need and finally, pleasure

warnings: dom reader, sub felix, voyeurism (pretty much all of the others watch as felix gets ruined), mommy kink (though the reader's gender is never mentioned) nipple play, biting, marking, humiliation, degradation (felix's called a slut like once or twice), possibly more that i forgot

word count: 1.8k

a/n: yes it's short, i'm working on the changbin fic rn so take what you can get!

A lot can happen in one hour.

In 60 minutes. 3600 seconds.

It's funny how when you break it down like that it seems smaller, more insignificant.

Or sometimes it's the opposite, when your eye is on the clock, counting down the seconds time seems to slow just for the fun of making one suffer.

Funny...

Funny how Felix has been sitting here for exactly that long. Three thousand, six hundred seconds. Each tortuous one feeling like an eternity.

He's experiencing the latter of the two. Watching the analog clock that sits on the side table by the tv. He swears it's broken, the seconds can't possibly be moving that slowly.

But they are.

And he's endured a whole sixty minutes of this insanity.

Of clenching his thighs together, trying to stave off the inevitability of his neediness. Especially in front of all the others.

And friday nights are usually his favourite of the week too.

Because it's the agreed upon day when they all get together, him and all his bandmates and sometimes you if you're off for the night.

The one night a week when they get together in one place, set aside work entirely and watch a movie, play games, eat junk food and be normal people for once, not perfect idols with unblemished skin and the vocabulary of puritans and priests.

Not worrying about their idol images and able to act as they are. Young people who if they weren't in the eye of the public would be in college, running around, experiencing the world of sex, drugs and whatever the hell they wanted.

And for one night, in the privacy of one of the three dorms or possibly your place they could do that. Be that.

But tonight he really can't help but want this to be over as soon as possible.

Really, truly, Felix doesn't want to be rude to any of his friends, the guests of the night but it is anything but his fault that your hand brushes over his inner thigh under the comfort of the blanket that covers the two of you, making him wanna kick them to the curb so that you can have a bit of privacy while he lets you have your way with him.

"Okay Hyunjin, truth or dare?"

And this annoying game, the one that Jisung is having way too much fun with, the lightweight he is, all giggly and fidgety as he points at Hyunjin, shouting as if they aren't sitting next to each other.

"Hmm, truth."

They all groan."Pussy!" Minho clears his throat, giving a good fake cough for measure.

Hyunjin glares but doesn't budge even when Han begs him to.

That's all he's picked all night and anything juicy has been extracted from the first few questions, leaving only the dry and boring yet strange ones that Han's drunk mind will come up with.

"Hmm, let's see,"

Felix nearly jumps out of him skin as you touch him again, a simple brush over his hips, it really should be nothing but he really can't help how sensitive they are and the sweat that begins to run down his temple only prove how easy it is to break his composure.

He zones out just in time to hear the question that Han comes up with.

"Would you rather eat an entire block of blue cheese in one sitting, or drink a whole glass of water from a rain puddle? That children have been jumping in, like all muddy and s..."

His voice tunes out, your hands sliding up and higher, twisting and playing with his already hard nipples. And he doesn't even care anymore. He's ready to kick all of these nerds out right here and now. Or, he's not even sure if he has enough energy to do that-at this point he's willing to let them watch.

Watch you make him cry and whimper and beg, play with his body and use it however you'd like.

He can imagine 50 different positions that you could fuck him in right now.

Missionary and mating press and doggy, you riding him, him riding you; him with his back against your chest just like this, legs spread wide open all on display fo-

"Oh~"

He gasps and you smile. "You have such pretty tits baby, just keep quiet and I'll keep playing with them."

You're practically all over him at this point, groping his tits with one hand, pinching at his swollen nubs, twisting them so hard he has to bite his lip to keep quiet. The other higher up, holding his throat in place as you pepper kisses all over his neck, nipping and licking, laving affection onto every freckle and spot with your tongue.

The blanket does almost nothing to hide your stolen touches. It's not hard to see the bump of your hand on his chest and paired with the fucked-out expression on his face and the fingers wrapped around his throat there's very little left for interpretation.

He can feel their eyes on him. Feel the attention he's gained and can't help the way he flushes under it.

His body burns under the weight of it. Humiliation searing through his body like liquid heat, his panting coming out heavier and more ragged.

No one talks anymore. The game seems to be over and even Han's drunk self has seemed to sober up with the show presented in front of him.

"Isn't he pretty?" You coo, nuzzling gently against his ear before nibbling at the lobe.

"So pretty," Felix isn't sure who said it, his head isn't working right, his vision is blurring and a pathetic whine slips out, shivering against you at the praise.

"Oh, he liked that." you laugh, an edge to your voice he's very sure is matched with a wicked grin even if he can't see you. "You like be called pretty by your friends? Like be watched while I touch you like this?"

He gasps like a fish out of water, nodding and squirming, goosebumps breaking out across his skin. You roll a nipple between your fingers again, pushing the blanket down and off onto the floor, forgotten before grabbing the hem of his shirt, pulling it up his chest. Plain instinct takes over as he opens his mouth wide, allowing you to press the fabric into between his lips-red and swollen from being bitten for the last hour.

Part of you is possessive. Part of you wants to keep this pretty, blushing, begging boy to yourself, away from the hungry eyes of the others. His whimpers to your ears only though that's unlikely wherever you are given how loud your baby is.

Instead though, all you can think of is the fact that he's all your's, only your's and you now get to prove that. Make him cum his brains out in front of all of his friends that you pretend not to see looking him with gazes lingering for too long. Force them to see what they will only ever see all while you can play and tease and deny and overstimulate him as much as you want. All while they have no choice but to watch.

"Mommy please, it feels-feels so good!" His hands grasp at yours, pawing at your fingers with no real intent, only clawing at your wrists like his body has no idea what else to do with itself.

He's always been particularly sensitive but it's only been increased by the tenfold now. He's sure he could come from this and this alone, From your fingers and your lips and the weight of hungry eyes devouring the scene in front of them.

"Please Mommy, please don’t stop." His hips buck up into nothing and you place a hand there, pinning his pelvis down with surprising strength.

“Baby," your tongue laves attention over his jawline, voice dropping low. "Putting on a show. You look like a slut.”

Others murmur agreement and his entire body burns in white-hot shame, unable to help the way his hips thrust, trying against you until you pinch his hip, hissing for him to behave.

He wants you to say it again. More than he should.

To his delight, you do.

"Presenting yourself to the entire room like a cheap slut." you say it nonchalantly, so much so that it makes him feel dizzy. "Moaning like a pornstar, look at you. Why, you're practically a natural." Pursing your lips and continuing on, tilting your head like you're telling him the news, how the weather is. Talking as if you're not degrading him within an inch of his life and he's not about to cum from the words alone.

Like it’s normal conversation.

Like this is a normal occurrence.

“Yes! I-I'm” The word crumbles on his lips, voice cracking into a high pitched mewl when your mouth slots against the hollow spot of his collarbone, tongue dipping in before you suck his warm skin. "I-" he gasps, "I can't."

Your mouth moves higher, right beneath his ear. "You will."

And then you bite him-hard.

Right on a pretty little freckle, teeth digging into his neck in a way that feels so inexplicably good that Felix keens.

Too much.

Back arching away from you, mouth falling open in a silent scream as his eyes flutter open and closed for a few seconds before rolling back completely.

Too good.

With the eyes on him. With your fingers rolling his nipples between your fingers. With your teeth sunk into his skin and the way your tongue laves attention around it, soothing the bite, warm and wet.

He's so fucking pretty, is all you can think, is all you're sure anyone can think.

Especially now, like this. All open and vulnerable like he's being presented. It's a wonder that your fingers haven't danced their way down to his sweatpants where an obvious bulge makes itself apparent.

The reality hits him as his head spins, his breath a heave.

He just came in front of all of his friends.

And an even harder truth hits him when he realizes just how much he wants you to do it again.

Of just how much he wants you to now overstimulate him to hell and back. In front of all of them.

--

my taglist is open here, @hobihearteu, @lemonhongjoong, @laylasbunbunny, @d7dream, @abcdefgiwsmcty, @missrobyn81, @maru-matt, @hahagay,

IS POLY??? 🥺😭✨️🖤

Sweet tears of ecstasy? That intrigues me

okay so Sweet tears of ecstasy is one that i've been working on for awhile...it'll probably (dunno for sure😅) never come out if i'm being honest because it's a whole ass series with complexity and toxicity, an actual plot between the smut.

the thing is idk if i actually have the commitment and drive to finish something like this, so if i did end up posting it, it would probably be after i finished writing all of it-which idk if it'll ever happen😭

it is hongjoong x fem!reader x mingi, a college au.

the reader is a smartass in one of mingi's classes who he's obsessed with-why? because he likes smart girls who say things he doesn't understand while he looks at them with stars in his eyes, nodding along even though he has zero idea what they're saying (basically he's a himbo)

the reader is a very private and closed off person, has a few close friends but even with them she mostly keeps to herself. one of said people she is close with is hongjoong-who is pretty popular. him and the reader are like fwb but keep it on the down-low because it's not really anyone else's business.

anyways, the plot pretty much is, mingi ends up walking in on them in the bathroom at a party one night...doing unspeakable things and immediately leaves, embarrassed but even afterwards he can't stop thinking about it

that's all i'm gonna say for the plot, just in case i ever do end up releasing it but yeah. i've got a few parts of it written, i'll release one small snippet of one of them here

Sweet tears of ecstasy

“Shit,” You groan, chest heaving, a bead of sweat rolling down your temple.

Fingers twirl through threads of his hair as he pants as well, trying to calm his racing heart while almost (maybe) unaware of the affect that it had on your shivering body from his hot breath fanning across you. 

He could barely help the churn in his stomach at the way you looked down at him, hungry as your eyes roved over his skin; ravenous, like you weren’t above pouncing on him the second after you came despite the slight tremble still apparent in your legs.

“Stop looking at me like that!” He moaned, trying to hide his head in your thigh as he squirmed, your hand in his hair holding him back.

How could you not? It would be a crime to not appreciate how puffed and red his lips were, his hair messy and chin covered in a mess that his tongue seemed determined to clean, poking out every so often. “Like what babyboy?” 

He sighs and rolls his eyes as you smile, cupping his cheek in time for him to brush his head against your inner thighs, blowing at you just to hear you hiss. 

You groan, “Don’t be a dick!” Using the position in favour for shoving him back, away from you before frowning at the cold left behind and pulling him back in.

He almost laughs but instead kisses your skin softly, lovingly.

“You’ve gotten too good at that y’know?”

“I dunno,” he looks up before crawling up into your open arms, allowing him to cuddle up against you as you light a cigarette, placing it between your lips with a puff. “Is there such a thing as being too good at eating pussy?”

The smell of nicotine fills his head, making him feel cloudy and safe. 

He’s never liked it when you smoke, told you many times to stop, tried many times to make you. 

Hiding them, throwing them in the trash, sending you websites and YouTube videos, threatening you. Nothing’s worked and he still doesn’t like it but he can’t help the way that the smell alone is almost enough to make him hard again.

A cigarette before you give him the best orgasm he’s had in his life, relighting the same one right after, right before round two and then another one before you hop into the shower afterwards.

Pavlov’s dogs or some shit, right? 

“You wanna stay the night?” The words echo hollowly, seeming to bounce off the four walls of his room. 

He feels foolish. For even asking. For even hoping. Especially when you don’t answer, simply taking another puff, offering it to him in which he declines with a quiet reminder of how you should quit.

His body feels cold when you pull away. The bed seems so much bigger when you’re not in it.

“Not tonight lover,” You grab your underwear off the floor, jeans too followed by the shirt you came in. “Got some stuff I need to do,”

He wishes that you’d grab his hoodie right next to it instead, slip it on and wear it tomorrow when he’d see you in class. “Mhm.” It’s a bullshit excuse. You know it. He knows it. 

But it’s an unspoken promise at this point. He asks you to stay. You say you have something. You leave. He stays. Cold and left with the scent of cigarettes and sex.

“You coming to the party tomorrow night?” You put out the deathstick on the ashtray that’s taken space on his nightstand, brought a couple of weeks ago by you after being annoyed with the fact that he had nothing else that you could’ve used.

“Wooyoung’s?”

“Yeah, the one at his and San’s place?”

He thinks over the things he had planned for tomorrow, ready to skip out anything originally planned to go to this stupid party with you. Graciously happy to find that he has nothing. “Yeah, why?”

You turn back to him, smile plastered across you face, looking so much more innocent than you really are. 

“Just wanted to make sure that I’d see you there, probably wouldn’t go if you weren’t. You’re the only one that makes that kinda stuff bearable for me.” He swears his heart soars with the words, with the way you lean down, placing a kiss on his neck, lingering on his jaw, then his cheek and the corner of his mouth before planting one on his lips, nipping at them playfully, pulling away just as quick before he can wrap his arms around your neck and pull you in, effectively starting round 3 of the night.

“Y-yeah,” 

He’s slightly breathless but you don’t seem to notice, fishing your phone out of your pocket to check the time. “Oh shit, I gotta go!” 

You scramble to grab the rest of your things, your bag, the pack of cigarettes and lighter you left on his nightstand beside the ashtray and one last stolen kiss.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, okay? 8 and don’t be late, I will leave you behind if it’s over ten minutes.”

He pouts petulantly, “I don’t take that long!”

You roll your eyes playfully as you unlock the door, peeking your head in one more time before you shut it. “Take a shower okay? You smell like sex and I’ll call you later, text me if you need anything, anything at all.” He nods and you pin him with a look that seems to say ‘don’t fuck around with me.’

“Okay!”

“Good." You smile softly and for a second he can pretend that he's really yours and that you'll come back later tonight when he's sleeping, cuddling up to him in the dark and that you'll wake up in the morning-together.

But then your next words come, like a slap to the face. What you say every night that you leave him. "See you later Hongjoong.”

And with that, you’re gone. And he’s left alone in the dark once more. 

--

so yeah, a snippet from the first part, after this it switches to mingi's point of view, already at the party mentioned the next night. which is where he ends up walking in on them.

thank you to everyone who reads the shit i write, no matter how shitty it is. i genuinely believe that art doesn't have to have an audience, but with my babies, i can't help but feel famewhore sometimes and i get immensely proud and fluttery and so so happy when you guys love my works, and even reblog and follow!!! it's already so much to ask for, and 15-16 year old me would be so so happy T_T

from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much you don't know how much this means to me T_T

-julrein

I know there's a lot of posts on here expressing frustration at the decline of reblog culture (and I do agree with them), but I also want to reframe that to express just how profoundly grateful I am to people who enjoy my work enough to reblog and recommend it to others. Especially since I started RTR, I feel such tremendous joy from every single reblog, and when someone sends me an ask like "I just told my brother/cousin/friend about your comic!" I think I might explode with happiness. I've never had the luck of being promoted by Webtoon's front page so reblogs and recommendations are the only actionable way to gain new readers, and it's so so appreciated to gain that support from people who don't have to give it to still enjoy the comic.

Not to get sappy on the sex blog but... you guys 🥺💜

*Katniss' voice* I volunteer as tribute!

I am no longer able to run this blog. Please contact me if you would like to take over. I would hate for this blog to die because of me. I know this blog has helped so many people.