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some aiku×sendou

Okay but like..Aiku and Sendou are literally this trope

Angry Bf×Calm Bf

The panel where Sendou lost his cool to Sae is literally so cute, and then there was Aiku calming him and assuring that the game only just started .

sometimes it makes me think of this fluffy scenario that I wrote on an evening saturday.(like rn)

…

"Water?" Oliver's calm tone focused on the pissed up man, his duo, Sendou, He knows that this man couldn't control his temper, well atleast sometimes…

"Just leave me alone for now, I don't wanna hear and recieve human interactions right now Aiku, everything is pissing me the fuck off-" The blonde was silenced once Aiku's arms placed on top of his shoulder down his torso

"Calm down Sendou, violence and ignorance wouldn't get you anywhere, the only sensible thing is to stay calm, wouldn't that be more soothing?" his arms continued to tap his body, it somehow calms Sendou down, whenever he is near, whenever he does this gesture simply the presence of Aiku is enough to calm him down

He still offered the water as his mouth smiled when he accepted

Sendou took a sip from the bottle. "Thanks, I'm sorry for acting up, that bastard is getting on my last nerve" he sighed

"The game has only started, now now" he formed a rather calm, cocky smirk, his reassuring touch is enough for him to actually calm down

"You're right, let's go Aiku" The blonde man smiled and replied

some aiku×sendou

Okay but like..Aiku and Sendou are literally this trope

Angry Bf×Calm Bf

The panel where Sendou lost his cool to Sae is literally so cute, and then there was Aiku calming him and assuring that the game only just started .

sometimes it makes me think of this fluffy scenario that I wrote on an evening saturday.(like rn)

…

"Water?" Oliver's calm tone focused on the pissed up man, his duo, Sendou, He knows that this man couldn't control his temper, well atleast sometimes…

"Just leave me alone for now, I don't wanna hear and recieve human interactions right now Aiku, everything is pissing me the fuck off-" The blonde was silenced once Aiku's arms placed on top of his shoulder down his torso

"Calm down Sendou, violence and ignorance wouldn't get you anywhere, the only sensible thing is to stay calm, wouldn't that be more soothing?" his arms continued to tap his body, it somehow calms Sendou down, whenever he is near, whenever he does this gesture simply the presence of Aiku is enough to calm him down

He still offered the water as his mouth smiled when he accepted

Sendou took a sip from the bottle. "Thanks, I'm sorry for acting up, that bastard is getting on my last nerve" he sighed

"The game has only started, now now" he formed a rather calm, cocky smirk, his reassuring touch is enough for him to actually calm down

"You're right, let's go Aiku" The blonde man smiled and replied

Okay, one, I have a migraine so bare with me, two I have so much to say about all that and talking/writing about this as brought it back into my current hyper focus umbrella.

So, back when I came up with this prompt, I wrote more than what I've already posted. Boone is the Courier's love interest in it and if I were to write more it would have to stay Boone simply because I don't have the writing skill to write Ulysses's character accurately. I hope you don't mind me using that Courier when I go over your ideas. I would be happy to share more of what I've written out if anyone is interested. Her is Sirius Mary Graham and she's a tribal from a witch type tribe.

Every single story Joshua hears about his daughter, he absolutely believes Siri is his karma for all the crap he's pulled and he wonders what kind of agent of chaos he let loose on the world. He loves her dearly but he swears she's going to give him a heart attack or a stroke.

I had a scene where the Legion is forcefully shocked out of their deep denial. The Legion had captured Boone and Siri, thinking they had won and that 'see the woman isn't a real threat'. They thought that right up until Siri ripped the throat out of the legion guard with her teeth after they thought they had killed her. Either Alerio and/or Vulpes, see her leaving the base covered head to toe in blood and picking flesh from her teeth with Boone following right behind her. When they check out the base once Sirius 'Bloody Mary' Graham is long gone... well I'll just say they leave very traumatized.

Despite differing belief systems, I think Joshua and Siri would both pray for each other and make effort to understand the other's belief. Siri has a bible and Joshua keeps the charms Siri gives him close.

I think, because Siri cares for her father, she would humor Joshua about a baptism, but only if Daniel didn't bring it up. Siri didn't take Daniel's actions with Waking Cloud very well, so she wouldn't put much worth in anything Daniel suggested and might just refuse outright because demand avoidance could trigger.

Boone is not surprised at all, that Joshua is Siri's father. He's seen Siri bounce right back after injuries that should have killed her. It just makes sense to him. Arcade just goes 'of course, why not' as he's slowly learning to roll with the chaos. Though they do talk about their fathers, talk their feelings out.

Writing Prompt: Burning Man's Feral Daughter

I had an idea so as usual I need to make it everyone else's problem too.

So it's about Joshua Graham having this unholy terror of a woman as a daughter, who ends up as Courier Six. He can know about her or not at first and meets her at Zion, they get to know each other and he quickly finds out he's fathered an undying feral daughter that has been raining hellfire down on the Legion and getting into a ton of trouble. Eventually he just goes "This is my punishment for my Legion days."

I'm thinking she could be a tribal, maybe one that are descendants of wiccans/witches, just to be another thing that just exhausts Joshua. Her and Boone could be Legion killing besties or have a romantic relationship, either way, one more thing to make Joshua want to retire.

Songs I listened to as I came up with this:

Inferno by Sub Urban and Bella Poarch

Villain by Bella Poarch

Little Girl Gone by chinchilla

Okay don't mind me I'm in the middle of a Crooked Kingdom reread and feel overwhelmingly inclined to rant about Jesper Fahey because this fandom just doesn't give him the treatment he deserves. I'm specifically going to incoherently ramble about the scene in Crooked Kingdom where he, Colm and Wylan are being shot at because I feel like that scene is representative of Jesper's arc - but, before we dive into that, let me contextualise a few things first. Jesper does things for the thrill of it: he thrives off chaos and spontaneity, hence why he "always felt better when people were shooting at him". It's because the sound of gunfire "called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else" - and it also provides a distraction from his pain and trauma, because whenever he'd think about it, "everything in him recoiled. Trying not to die was the best possible distraction". Whenever anything to do with his past or his debt is brought up, "his hands returned to his revolvers" because he found himself "longing for the cool, familiar feel of their pearl handles beneath his thumbs". It steadies him as much as it possibly can when he's not in a dangerous situation, momentarily calling his mind into focus, an attempt at distracting himself from his afflictions.

Based off similar instances, the scene in Crooked Kingdom where he, Wylan and Colm are being shot at should have brought him that same satisfaction that any other shooting would. He "should be buzzing from the excitement of the fight. The thrill was still there, fizzing through his blood, but beside it was a cold, unfamiliar sensation that felt like it was draining the joy from him." What makes this situation so different to the others is that he can't ignore his problems and trauma now: it's staring him right in the face. Colm is right there. The thrill of the fight doesn't feel the same because "all he could think was, Da could have been hurt. He could have died." And we know that Jesper's debt would cost Colm the jurda farm Jesper grew up on, forcing him to acknowledge the reality of his problems: with Colm being right there, Jesper just can't ignore his afflictions because all he could think about is how his father would "suffer for his antics". If you ask me, this is so representative of his character arc as a whole.

This is further emphasised by how he's reflecting on the first time he spun Makker's Wheel right before this ambush, its intention being merely "harmless fun", but it ended up evolving into an addiction that "split [his life] like a log into two distinct and uneven pieces: the time before he’d stepped up to that wheel and every day since". The rush of a high-stakes situation is the equivalent of the "harmless fun" - it's a thrill that Jesper enjoys feeling, but in reality it's doing much more harm because it's preventing him from acknowledging and facing his pain. And he's indeed in so much pain: there's so much anguish inside of him, but he'd do anything to distract himself from it because the reality is just too painful.

This is where the tables come in: later in Crooked Kingdom, when the crew are being ambushed by the Khergud, Jesper "could feel the pull of East Stave" because he didn't have anything else to occupy his mind with. Then, the minute he thinks about facing his father, "the need to be at the tables was overwhelming" because he desperately needs to distract himself from the reality of his circumstances: "since Kaz hadn't obliged him with something to shoot at, Jesper needed a pair of dice and long odds to clear his mind". He can't use the ambush as a distraction, so the tables it is. As Inej tells him, "they feel like medicine. They soothe you, put you right for a time. But they’re poison, Jesper. Every time you play, you take another sip." This isn't the first time poison has been used to represent something that is preventing the Crows from healing - we also see it with Matthias, when he tells Brum in Six of Crows, "the life you live, the hate you feel - it's poison. I can drink it no longer". Just like how the exploitation of Matthias' grief and pain as a means of fueling hatred prevented him from healing because it kept exacerbating the anguish within him (he had to stop drinking the poison to do so), Jesper's addiction - and, by extension, the thrill of a high-stakes situation - prevents him from acknowledging the wound inside him and working towards healing it. It gets to the extent where “he had always thought of himself as lucky… what if he’d been bluffing this whole time?” - he’s gotten so used to suppressing his pain that he, in a way, loses sense of who he is. His façade has distorted his perception of himself. It's not until Colm arrives in the Barrel that Jesper is forced to acknowledge just how deep that wound is and how much it's festering - just like how he couldn't even feel the thrill of a fight properly because of the possibility of his father getting hurt.

That scene is one of many cracks that start to form as Jesper continues to bottle up all of this pain and trauma, until he finally breaks when Wylan proposes that he's such a good shot because being a Fabrikator allows him to direct the metal of the bullets. Jesper protests, asking Wylan why he can't "just let things be easy" - why can't he just let him keep ignoring his problems, when it's so much easier than facing them? But Wylan stands his ground, explaining that "they’re not easy... You keep pretending everything is okay. You move on to the next fight or the next party. What are you afraid is going to happen if you stop?" This is why Matthias calls Jesper “angry and frightened” - he’s afraid of stopping, because he knows stopping means that he’s forced to face the reality that he’s deeply wounded. This is when he finally breaks under the burden of his own pain, under the reality that he can't keep ignoring it anymore - hence why he chooses to put his share of the reward in Colm's name because, as he explains to Kaz, "I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of money just yet". For the first time, he's acknowledging his problems and working towards fixing them, no matter how much time it takes (because trauma and addiction don't just disappear overnight).

n e ways this ended up being significantly longer than anticipated but this is what happens when I start analysing these books: it snowballs out of control and suddenly I can’t shut up.

Hey. Y’all wanna know something that keeps me up at night?

Now this is at best a mini theroy/character observation that has basically no marrot, and at worst the ravings of someone with too little sleep and a tendency to overthink. But here I am.

So. We all know what happens to Pap in genocide route. He rambles about how the player is acting really fucking weird, about how they are on a bad path, about how they are not bellow redemption; so long as they have the right tutor, and how he is more than willing to provide such a service…… and then he is decapitated.

Well, there’s one line in that speil that REALLY caught my attention:

(Screenshot credit to JustNathan)

Why does he assume the player is coming to HUG him of all things? It’s a pretty big jump to make, considering Frisk is indicated to just be approaching. And they were never assumed to be preparing for a hug before. Hasn’t he trained for presumably years to capture a human? They are CLEARLY aggressing. Is his blind hope for you just that strong?

I suppose that could be the case, but hear me out: It’s a test.

At this point in game, Snowdin has been evacuated. People are literally running for their lives, leaving all worldly possessions in hope of escaping your wrath. They’ve gone as far as to leave out decoys and notes in the hope to buy just a millisecond more time.

So then why the fuck is Papyrus there?

He’s making a final stand. He’s all that’s in the way of you making more poor decisions. If he fights you- if he STOPS you -then no one else has to die. He’s not an idiot. He sees the dust on Frisk’s hands. He knows what you’ve done.

Yet, Papyrus knows you can be a good person. But only if you TRY to be one. What’s a better way to do that than showing someone as simple a thing as mercy? If they reciprocate, then perfect, they are willing to be a better person. If they are not…. Well, he is a self described ‘Brutal kind of guy’

(Screenshot credit to nochocolate)

He’s almost certainly not going to kill you (he’d never stoop to your level after all), but that doesn’t mean he can’t rough you up. Whether he intends on keeping you in the shed for rehabilitation or just hand you over to Undyne is up for debate, but the result is the same. Everyone’s safe, and he’s the hero for it. It’s perfect.

After all,

(Screenshot Credit to permanently exaughsted)

But that’s not what happened, is it?

In the end, that blind hope bites Papyrus right in his nonexistant ass. He doesn’t realize how strong Frisk is. He doesn’t realize he can’t simply take that kind of hit, even if he’s a rather strong monster. His Defence is just too low, because he’s too confident in you and your ability to make the right choice. It’s why he half offers half accepts the hug in the first place.

He’s one shotted.

(Screenshot Credit to JustNathan)

And in his dying words, he still tries to convince you to do better. Because you can. He isn’t bitter, he isn’t angry or sad, he’s still as hopeful as ever. Because that’s what he’s wanted all along, and his plan is still a somewhat success, even if he’s gone down with it. Me and my sis nearly had to stop our Genocide route because of this.

All that being said, there is one more interesting thing to think about. If all this is true, Paps wouldn’t be the only skeleton to use a hug as a trick attack.

Comfort on New Year’s Eve (FengQing oneshot)

Summary:

Mu Qing is sad that his mother isn't here to visit him for New Year's and laments it on the balcony. Feng Xin comes to take a breather but ends up comforting Mu Qing instead. They talk about their feelings and this ends in a kiss

Notes:

Lol I wrote this in the middle of the night and published it at like 3 am, so it's very bad compared to my other fic and I didn't beta read it cause I was too tired to. Enjoy tho. Constructive criticism welcome as always.

Btw, translations for the text messages in Cantonese will be provided at the end of the paragraph.

“Why did I ever agree to this?”

Mu Qing asks himself as he stares up into the night sky, the loud noise of people partying behind him echoing to where he was standing on the balcony.

Mu Qing sighs and takes out his phone, unlocking it and staring at all the messages that his mother had left him.

Mama

Mama: 我個乖仔點啊? 喺大學讀得開唔開心啊? 識咗新朋友未啊? (sent 11:27 pm, Hong Kong time)

Mama: 新年快樂啊! (sent 11:27 pm, Hong Kong time)

Mama: 媽咪今個新年離唔到英國探你真係對唔住啊, 我喺香港好忙, 連新年過嚟搵你嘅時間都無,但喺你生日嘅時候我一定嚟探你!媽咪應承你! 希望你可以你可以原諒媽咪啦! (Sent 11:28 pm, Hong Kong time)

(Translations:

Mama: How’s my good boy? Are you happy studying at the university? Make any new friends?

Mama: Happy New Year!

Mama: Mami is sorry she can’t come to England to see you this year, I’m very busy in Hong Kong, and can’t even make time to visit you on New Year’s, but I will come to visit on your birthday! Mami promises you she will! I hope you can forgive Mami!)

Mu Qing stares at the last message, his mom hadn’t made it to England to visit him for New Year’s this year, but she’d promised him that she’d make it for his birthday.

The thought that she isn’t there for him this New Year’s made Mu Qing feel… sad? Ever since he was born, Mu Qing always celebrated New Year’s with his mother, making niangao, going to the park to look at the lanterns at night, playing with fireworks at night, those were all the things that they did together, and though it wasn’t much, it made Mu Qing happy, and the fact that his mother was there with him made it ten times better.

But ever since he started college in London, he hasn’t been able to see his mother much, and while she still visits him for New Year’s, Christmas and his birthday every year, the fact that she isn’t here this year just made Mu Qing feel awful.

He wipes away some tears forming in his eyes and takes a deep breath.

It’s just one year, Mu Qing, she’ll be here for your birthday. He tells himself.

But that doesn’t make it any better.

Mu Qing tries to wipe away more tears forming in his eyes and looks towards the sky once again.

“Hey.”

A voice rings out from behind him. Mu Qing turns around to see Feng Xin, carrying two cups of what he assumes is tea and looking at him curiously.

“What are you doing out here?” Feng Xin asks.

“Could say the same for you.” Mu Qing responds, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. “What are you doing here?”

Feng Xin sighs and leans on the railing of the balcony.

“It was too chaotic in there, had to come out to take a breather.”

“What? Can’t take a bit of noise?” Mu Qing teases him.

“Hey-” Feng Xin opens his mouth to protest, but stops himself when he sees that Mu Qing is shaking slightly.

“Hey, are you cold?”

“No.” Mu Qing says, voice trembling. “I’m fine.”

Feng Xin sighs. “No, I can see that you’re shivering.” he takes off his jacket and drapes it over Mu Qing.

“Hey, what are you-” Mu Qing flushes a bit when he feels the jacket being put on him. “I don’t need this.” he glowers at Feng Xin and hands the jacket back to him.

“No, you do.” Feng Xin puts the jacket back onto him and shoves the cup of tea in his hands. “You’re gonna catch a cold if you don’t cover up.”

“Quit mother-henning me.” Mu Qing rolls his eyes and takes a sip of the tea. The tea is warm, not too bitter, and warms him up the moment it touches his tongue, and he could feel the warmth spreading from his stomach to the tips of his fingers.

It reminds him of his mom.

Tears start forming in Mu Qing’s eyes again and he wipes them away.

“Hey, are you okay?” Feng Xin asks him, concerned.

“Of course I’m okay, what makes you think that I’m not okay?” Mu Qing says dryly, but there’s a tremble to his voice and Feng Xin notices that Mu Qing’s eyes are red and there are tear tracks running down his face.

“Yeah I’m not buying it.” Feng Xin says. “What’s going on?”

“I said I’m fine, don’t you have better things to do?” Mu Qing rolls his eyes, trying to appear as apathetic as possible.

“No, no I don't.” Feng Xin says and scoots closer to Mu Qing. “You can tell me what’s wrong.”

“I told you already, there’s nothing wrong-”

“Mu Qing I will literally not let you leave this balcony unless you tell me what’s wrong, right now.” Feng Xin says firmly, and locks Mu Qing’s wrist in a tight grip.

“What the- let me go!” Mu Qing tries to yank his arm out of Feng Xin’s grip, but to no avail.

“I told you, I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s wrong.”

Mu Qing struggles to get out of Feng Xin’s grip, and he tries and tries for a long time but to no avail. He eventually gives up and just sighs.

“Alright, fine.” he sighs in defeat. “I’ll tell you.”

“Hm.” Feng Xin says, satisfied, and lets go of Mu Qing.

Mu Qing takes a deep breath. “You know how my mom always comes visit me on New Year’s Eve?”

“Yeah, I know, she won’t stop fussing over us.” Feng Xin sighs fondly, reminiscing about Mrs Mu’s last visit to their campus, where she fussed over how Feng Xin and Mu Qing kept their dorm room and cleaned and reorganized everything.

“Yeah well, she didn’t come to visit this year.” Mu Qing hangs his head low, trying to not let Feng Xin see the tears in his eyes. “She promised that she would come on my birthday, but I’m still kinda bummed that she didn’t come for New Year. She always comes to visit, yet this year, she didn’t come. I know it’s silly and kind of stupid, but I haven't seen her in so long and I miss her, you know what I mean?” he sniffs and wipes the tears away. He uses a moment to muster up the courage to look at Feng Xin, fully expecting him to laugh at him or otherwise be weirded out, but once he raises his head, Feng Xin’s expression is unreadable.

“Don’t, I already know what you're thinking.” Mu Qing turns to the side, expecting Feng Xin to burst out laughing.

But what he didn’t expect was for Feng Xin to wrap his arms around him and envelope him in a tight hug.

Mu Qing is startled at first, but eventually melts into the hug and wraps his arms around Feng Xin’s waist.

“Mu Qing, it’s okay to miss your mom.” Feng Xin says as he rubs circles on his back. “It’s completely fine to be sad about your mom not coming to visit you on New Year’s. You can talk to us about it. Xie Lian, Shi QingXuan, me… We’d all listen.”

Tears spill out of Mu Qing’s eyes and he cries into Feng Xin’s shirt, but his mouth can’t stop morphing into a smile as he cries, and once he faces Feng Xin, he’s fully smiling.

That sight makes Feng Xin’s heart leap.

“I-I know, thanks.” Mu Qing wipes the tears away and looks down. “Feng Xin, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Feng Xin’s breath hitches. “What is it?”

Mu Qing takes a deep breath. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but since we’ve known eachother long enough, I might as well tell you..”

“10!”

“What do you mean?” Feng Xin asks nervously.

“It’s kind of stupid, and you might hate me for it.”

“9!”

“But,” Mu Qing prepares himself. “I think it’d be better to just tell you instead of hiding it.”

“8!”

“Feng Xin,” Mu Qing begins, staring into Feng Xin’s eyes.

“7!”

“I have a crush on you.”

That takes Feng Xin by surprise, and he is frozen for a split second. “W-what?” he says weakly.

“6!”

“It means that I like you, romantically.”

“5!”

“And I would like you to be my boyfriend.”

“4!”

Feng Xin has to pinch himself a few times just to make sure he isn’t dreaming. “You’re serious?”

“Yes.”

“3!”

“Well then,” Feng Xin puts a hand on Mu Qing’s cheek. “I’d like to.” he says as he stares into his eyes.

“Oh.” a pretty blush floods Mu Qing’s face. “Well then would you want to-”

“Yes.”

“2!”

Mu Qing raises a hand to caress Feng Xin’s cheek, and takes a deep breath. He dives in, lips fitting onto each other perfectly, and touching as soon as the crowd chanted 1.

“Happy New Year, Feng Xin.” Mu Qing smiles as he presses his and Feng Xin’s foreheads together, fireworks going off in the background.

“Happy New Year, Mu Qing.” Feng Xin says before diving in for another kiss from his boyfriend.

Notes:

Thanks for reading this train wreck of a oneshot! It's definitely not as good compared to the other one I have and I think I'll rewrite it one day to fix the mistakes, but for now, happy new year and I hope 2023 will not be as bad as the previous 3 years (I do not have high hopes tho.)

Link to OG on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43982388

Comfort on New Year's Eve (Fengqing oneshot)

“Why did I ever agree to this?” 

Mu Qing asks himself as he stares up into the night sky, the loud noise of people partying behind him echoing to where he was standing on the balcony. 

Mu Qing sighs and takes out his phone, unlocking it and staring at all the messages that his mother had left him. 

Mama

Mama: 我個乖仔點啊? 喺大學讀得開唔開心啊? 識咗新朋友未啊? (sent 11:27 pm, Hong Kong time)

Mama: 新年快樂啊! (sent 11:27 pm, Hong Kong time)

Mama: 媽咪今個新年離唔到英國探你真係對唔住啊, 我喺香港好忙, 連新年過嚟搵你嘅

`​​時間都無,但喺你生日嘅時候我一定嚟探你!媽咪應承你! 希望你可以你可以原諒媽咪啦! (Sent 11:28 pm, Hong Kong time)

(Translations:

Mama: How’s my good boy? Are you happy studying at the university? Make any new friends?

Mama: Happy New Year! 

Mama: Mami is sorry she can’t come to England to see you this year, I’m very busy in Hong Kong, and can’t even make time to visit you on New Year’s, but I will come to visit on your birthday! Mami promises you she will! I hope you can forgive Mami!)

Mu Qing stares at the last message, his mom hadn’t made it to England to visit him for New Year’s this year, but she’d promised him that she’d make it for his birthday.

The thought that she isn’t there for him this New Year’s made Mu Qing feel… sad? Ever since he was born, Mu Qing always celebrated New Year’s with his mother, making niangao, going to the park to look at the lanterns at night, playing with fireworks at night, those were all the things that they did together, and though it wasn’t much, it made Mu Qing happy, and the fact that his mother was there with him made it ten times better.

But ever since he started college in London, he hasn’t been able to see his mother much, and while she still visits him for New Year’s, Christmas and his birthday every year, the fact that she isn’t here this year just made Mu Qing feel awful.

He wipes away some tears forming in his eyes and takes a deep breath.

It’s just one year, Mu Qing, she’ll be here for your birthday. He tells himself. 

But that doesn’t make it any better.

Mu Qing tries to wipe away more tears forming in his eyes and looks towards the sky once again. 

“Hey.”

A voice rings out from behind him. Mu Qing turns around to see Feng Xin, carrying two cups of what he assumes is tea and looking at him curiously.

“What are you doing out here?” Feng Xin asks. 

“Could say the same for you.” Mu Qing responds, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. “What are you doing here?” 

Feng Xin sighs and leans on the railing of the balcony.

“It was too chaotic in there, had to come out to take a breather.”

“What? Can’t take a bit of noise?” Mu Qing teases him. 

“Hey-” Feng Xin opens his mouth to protest, but stops himself when he sees that Mu Qing is shaking slightly. 

“Hey, are you cold?” 

“No.” Mu Qing says, voice trembling. “I’m fine.” 

Feng Xin sighs. “No, I can see that you’re shivering.” he takes off his jacket and drapes it over Mu Qing. 

“Hey, what are you-” Mu Qing flushes a bit when he feels the jacket being put on him. “I don’t need this.” he glowers at Feng Xin and hands the jacket back to him.

“No, you do.” Feng Xin puts the jacket back onto him and shoves the cup of tea in his hands. “You’re gonna catch a cold if you don’t cover up.” 

“Quit mother-henning me.” Mu Qing rolls his eyes and takes a sip of the tea. The tea is warm, not too bitter, and warms him up the moment it touches his tongue, and he could feel the warmth spreading from his stomach to the tips of his fingers. 

It reminds him of his mom.

Tears start forming in Mu Qing’s eyes again and he wipes them away. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Feng Xin asks him, concerned.

“Of course I’m okay, what makes you think that I’m not okay?” Mu Qing says dryly, but there’s a tremble to his voice and Feng Xin notices that Mu Qing’s eyes are red and there are tear tracks running down his face. 

“Yeah I’m not buying it.” Feng Xin says. “What’s going on?” 

“I said I’m fine, don’t you have better things to do?” Mu Qing rolls his eyes, trying to appear as apathetic as possible. 

“No, no I don't.” Feng Xin says and scoots closer to Mu Qing. “You can tell me what’s wrong.” 

“I told you already, there’s nothing wrong-”

“Mu Qing I will literally not let you leave this balcony unless you tell me what’s wrong, right now.” Feng Xin says firmly, and locks Mu Qing’s wrist in a tight grip. 

“What the- let me go!” Mu Qing tries to yank his arm out of Feng Xin’s grip, but to no avail. 

“I told you, I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s wrong.” 

Mu Qing struggles to get out of Feng Xin’s grip, and he tries and tries for a long time but to no avail. He eventually gives up and just sighs. 

“Alright, fine.” he sighs in defeat. “I’ll tell you.” 

“Hm.” Feng Xin says, satisfied, and lets go of Mu Qing. 

Mu Qing takes a deep breath. “You know how my mom always comes visit me on New Year’s Eve?” 

“Yeah, I know, she won’t stop fussing over us.” Feng Xin sighs fondly, reminiscing about Mrs Mu’s last visit to their campus, where she fussed over how Feng Xin and Mu Qing kept their dorm room and cleaned and reorganized everything. 

“Yeah well, she didn’t come to visit this year.” Mu Qing hangs his head low, trying to not let Feng Xin see the tears in his eyes. “She promised that she would come on my birthday, but I’m still kinda bummed that she didn’t come for New Year. She always comes to visit, yet this year, she didn’t come. I know it’s silly and kind of stupid, but I haven't seen her in so long and I miss her, you know what I mean?” he sniffs and wipes the tears away. He uses a moment to muster up the courage to look at Feng Xin, fully expecting him to laugh at him or otherwise be weirded out, but once he raises his head, Feng Xin’s expression is unreadable. 

“Don’t, I already know what you're thinking.” Mu Qing turns to the side, expecting Feng Xin to burst out laughing. 

But what he didn’t expect was for Feng Xin to wrap his arms around him and envelope him in a tight hug. 

Mu Qing is startled at first, but eventually melts into the hug and wraps his arms around Feng Xin’s waist. 

“Mu Qing, it’s okay to miss your mom.” Feng Xin says as he rubs circles on his back. “It’s completely fine to be sad about your mom not coming to visit you on New Year’s. You can talk to us about it. Xie Lian, Shi QingXuan, me… We’d all listen.” 

Tears spill out of Mu Qing’s eyes and he cries into Feng Xin’s shirt, but his mouth can’t stop morphing into a smile as he cries, and once he faces Feng Xin, he’s fully smiling. 

That sight makes Feng Xin’s heart leap. 

“I-I know, thanks.” Mu Qing wipes the tears away and looks down. “Feng Xin, there’s something I need to tell you.” 

Feng Xin’s breath hitches. “What is it?” 

Mu Qing takes a deep breath. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but since we’ve known eachother long enough, I might as well tell you..”

“10!”

“What do you mean?” Feng Xin asks nervously. 

“It’s kind of stupid, and you might hate me for it.” 

“9!”

“But,” Mu Qing prepares himself. “I think it’d be better to just tell you instead of hiding it.”

“8!”

“Feng Xin,” Mu Qing begins, staring into Feng Xin’s eyes. 

“7!”

“I have a crush on you.” 

That takes Feng Xin by surprise, and he is frozen for a split second. “W-what?” he says weakly.

“6!”

“It means that I like you, romantically.” 

“5!”

“And I would like you to be my boyfriend.” 

“4!”

Feng Xin has to pinch himself a few times just to make sure he isn’t dreaming. “You’re serious?” 

“Yes.”

“3!”

“Well then,” Feng Xin puts a hand on Mu Qing’s cheek. “I’d like to.” he says as he stares into his eyes. 

“Oh.” a pretty blush floods Mu Qing’s face. “Well then would you want to-” 

“Yes.” 

“2!” 

Mu Qing raises a hand to caress Feng Xin’s cheek, and takes a deep breath. He dives in, lips fitting onto each other perfectly, and touching as soon as the crowd chanted 1. 

“Happy New Year, Feng Xin.” Mu Qing smiles as he presses his and Feng Xin’s foreheads together, fireworks going off in the background. 

“Happy New Year, Mu Qing.” Feng Xin says before diving in for another kiss from his boyfriend. 

originally posted on AO3 under the name of "ikixingyii".

the original fic on AO3

I don't understand how people can say "sex and romance is what makes us human". Because don't most animals do that? Like there's plenty of animals that sexually reproduce, but we aren't calling them human. So it makes no sense as an argument against ace/aro people. Like if you're gonna be homophobic at least try to make sense

What if Gwen's tattoo is skibidi toilet or anything else relating to gen alpha brainrot

it turns out I am nothing but a bleeding poet sitting atop a throne that I have earned in all the wrong ways and that I do not want

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Warnings: Uhhh. Non-graphical smut and slight angst, but that's pretty much it for now since I'm still crafting the next part, and some curse words lmao.

I won't control you, but MDNI. This is not for you, please.

Pairings: OT7/(F) Reader

Plot: Seven dates that has a significant mark in your life, one of which massively tilted and fucked up your world for good.

Seven men you didn't want to have more significance in your life than they already have for each of those dates you desperately want to forget.

Genre: mutual pining (ik, ik, i'm sorry), light angst, denial of feelings, eventual poly ot7

placeholder: avoust xxix - óutobre xxxi - nouvèmbre xv - desèmbre xxvi - febrié xxiii - mai xiii - juliet xxii

this is not my first dabble at the bts fandom but this was my first bangtan fic i posted in ao3 2 years ago bc i was a baby army (and my first bangtan creation [not the mixtape series] one is still unfinished and unposted wkwkwkw) so pls be kind to me uwu n i don't really have army moots so if you wanna, come say hi to me on twitter @shimaeara (i don't use it for now because i have no moots there yet) this fic is fucking self-serve and was written without sleep and came to me after reading a fucking drarry slowburn and binge listening to Moonchild and continued after weeks(months) of procrastination and am not good at smut so i might not be able to write it graphically for now idk sorry (edit, 2023: I can write smut now lmao but im still not good at it so i'll try!!!!) artists mentioned are not mine and own themselves. only my original character is self-made, and portrayal and descriptions are in no way real and did not happen in life. everything is entirely fictional not beta'd so i take full responsibility for each and every mistake, my existence included.

i'm reposting this right now because of the date in my country (and a happy birthday to my irl bestfriend, allain. hope you're happy wherever you are, fucker

aight imma head out

💜 You're not aware of the date today.

You wake up unusually early. It's ironic—everything today seems to be, and it's only six in the morning. That in itself should've clued you in because never in a million years would you wake up at five fucking thirty ahead of your alarm, and a weekend at that.

No one dare wake you up voluntarily before seven safest, not after that incident with an overly-hyper Joji that resulted in him sporting a black eye and split lip for a week. No hard feelings were had; you've been bestfriends with him during the past few years since he became your client at the villa. It was resolved with a quick fuck before you even got out of bed. Everybody pretended that the scratches on his back were—ahem—inflicted during the fight.

Pft. Sure.

He has since left residence, but he still flounces around whenever his schedule allows, the motherfucker. You should remind him to bring his own food next time because he cleansweeps the fridge every time.

Your mood has been off since you opened your eyes. You lie there for a few minutes before you realize that it's still kind of dark outside, and a quick check of your phone informs you of the time.

5:36 am

Huh. That's fucking early.

You rub at your chest softly, wondering where the hollow sinking feeling is coming from and what roused you from your sleep. Granted that yes, you're not the most mentally healthy person, but the feeling is different from usual. Almost worse.

You try to go back to sleep but right as you were about to drift off, your bladder decides to kick in. Groaning, you roll out of bed and pad sleepily to your bathroom to do your business with closed eyes, trying not to let go of your sleepiness. Of course, that proves futile. You aren't able to fall right back to sleep after that. Normally, you'd have no problem jumping right back to snoozing, but again, irony.

When trying prove to be useless, you decide to get up. On the way down, you forget to take your phone with you, and you ain't going back to sixth ass floor when you're already on the second. You continue onward and bump into Shads. "Morning, Matt."

He looks at you in trepidation, and you laugh lightly at his expression. Nobody dare forget that you're not a morning person. "Hey, Y/N."

"Relax, I'm not gonna punch you." He laughs at that and visibly relaxes.

"You're up early," he comments.

"Yeah. I don't even know why, and I can't go back to sleep now anyways so..."

He nods. "Well, I'm just turning in. Need to catch some sleep before we fly later."

"Fun night?" You ask.

He snorts at that with a laugh as he turns away to walk to his room. "Wish. Had to be at the studio to fix some things."

"Aw, you poor baby."

"Fuck off."

You both laugh and walk away; him towards his room, and you towards the kitchen. "Sleep well. I'll make sure the car will be here later for you guys."

"Thanks, babe."

You feel it again while you are making myself a cup of hot chocolate at the communal kitchen. You have a love-hate relationship with coffee, so you don't drink it that much. You thump your chest lightly with a slight grimace, the feeling almost crushing now. Your heart is racing and you don't know why, hands shaking as you grip the counter and try to breathe through your mouth.

"Y/N?"

You look up to see Jin in his pajamas, blinking at you owlishly. "Hey, Jin." Your grimace morphs into an awkward smile and you put your arms to your side in fear that he might've seen it—he did.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you say, ignoring the heavy pounding feeling in your chest. He doesn't look convinced. "You're up early."

He shakes his head. "This is my usual waking time. You're early."

Well, you don't have a rebut for that.

"Are you sure you're okay, Y/N?" he asks again when you stay silent.

"Yeah." You will yourself to calm down, even though it's obviously unsuccessful. "I think I'm just having a heartburn."

He raises an eyebrow at that, clearly not buying your lie. He decides to spare you instead. "You shouldn't be having hot chocolate then; that will just trigger it more. Sit. I'll make us some tea."

"No, no, it's okay! I'm fine." You try to argue, but you quickly shut up when he narrows his eyes at you. You wait in awkward silence as he prepares the tea and starts making breakfast, possibly for his friends. Once it was done, you thank him and turn to go back to your room.

"Where are you going?" he asks, spatula raised from where he is cooking.

"Back to my room?"

He shakes his head. "No, you sit. I'm making breakfast anyway."

"But I—"

"Are you really this stubborn?" When you remain silent, he hums and goes back to cooking "That's what I thought. Now sit down."

And what choice do you have?

"Do you take any medicines?" he asks after a few minutes of silence.

"...no?"

"Not even for anxiety? Or anything?"

Wow. What happened to sparing you? You shake your head no. He just raises his brows at that and (mercifully) changes the topic. "What are you doing today?"

"Nothing. It's my first break in months, so I think I might just sleep all day and stay in bed. I don't know." You shrug. "How 'bout you guys? Do you have promotions today?"

He shakes his head. "Nah. We're all preparing for Jungkook's birthday. It's in three days."

Wait. Jungkook's birthday is September 1.

You stop at that, the cup of tea paused from where you were just about to take a drink. "T-three days?" You ask shakily as he puts some food on a plate and places it down in front of you, unaware of your inner turmoil. The food smells amazing, but you don't think you can handle eating right now.

"Yeah. It's 29 today, isn't it?" Jin takes his phone that was on the counter and checks, then puts the phone back down. "It is. We're gonna prepare a surprise for him."

Fuck.

"That's good," you say, trying not to show how your heart feels like it's about to burst out of your chest. He smiles at you and turns back to where he's cooking.

So that's why you've been feeling off since you woke up. 29th. It's the 29th of August today.

You finish your food with difficulty but you don't show it to him to not be ungrateful. His cooking is great, but your mind is really just elsewhere today. "Thanks for the breakfast. And uh, the tea." You clear your throat as you finish washing your plate.

"No biggie." He smiles brightly and you almost forget—almost.

"Have fun today with your plans. I'll be"—you swallow as you leave the room almost hurriedly, and Jin finally notices your distress—"I'll be in my room if you guys need something from me."

You hear him ask if you were really okay but you ignore it, almost tripping on your way out. You don't know you've been holding your breath until you let it out as you reach your room and flop uselessly on your bed. You can't even cry at this rate. You've spent so long crying that it left you tearless and empty. When you try to look deeper, the pain is crippling that you can't even move to shed a tear. It feels like being suspended mid-air in a dark void with that feeling that you might fall anytime, only you don't know when and if the fall will finally kill you.

You spend the whole day in bed with minimal to no human interaction. Matt swung by midday and thanked you with a hug before the band left. It will be hours later when someone knocks on your door again.

It's Namjoon.

"Y/N?"

You're tempted to not answer him. While yes, your closeness with him and his group came a long way from just them being your clients, you still don't feel comfortable with giving them the burden of trying to deal with your tragedies and discomfort. He calls your name again with a light knock before you amble to the door weakly, opening it just an inch. "Hey."

You smile at him, but it's clear as day that you aren't really feeling it. "Hey, Namjoon."

"Are you okay?" He pauses, then shakes his head. "No, you're obviously not. Can I come in?"

And of course, he can.

One thing you like about him is his maturity and perceptiveness. With the chaos that comes with his group, Namjoon keeps them tethered. You love their group, you really do. But when the energy becomes too much, you're thankful because he always senses your need to slow down and calms them. Maybe it's the same reason you're drawn to him the most out of all of them. All you know is it isn't just a plain crush on such a charming person anymore. When you spend a lot of time with someone so kind and wonderful, their looks become just a fucking bonus. Every time you look at him your heart won't stop racing, and it's the exhilarating type that makes you sweat and puts the coil in your stomach.

You both sit on the bed, pulling up the covers as he sits a respectable distance from you.

"Hyung told me what happened," he says at last. Your stomach drops at that. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Do you want to?

With your silence, he continues. "I understand if you don't want to. Just know that we're here for you." Then softly, "I'm here for you."

Your heart stutters, but you keep your face neutral by giving him a soft smile. "Thank you, Namjoon."

After a few minutes, he asks, "Is it because of Jungkook?"

"What?"

"Jin-hyung said you ran away when he mentioned our surprise for Jungkook." There is an emotion you can't name that briefly flits through his face before it smooths out to curiosity. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No!" At his surprised face, you backtrack. "No," you say in a much softer voice. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"I—"

"Noona!"

Wow. Speak of the devil and all that jazz.

Jungkook bursts through the door, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere in the room. Or if he does, he doesn't comment on it. "My favorite Noona~!" He climbs on the bed and sits beside you.

Your eyes flit to Namjoon, and you nearly miss the sharp look he gives him when Jungkook lies with his head on your lap. You snort at Jungkook's antics, a slow smile spreading to your lips.

"I bet you say that to all your noonas," you tease, to which Jungkook splutters.

"No, I don't!" He turns to Namjoon. "Tell her, hyung."

"I—what?"

"That she is my favorite noona!"

"You do say that to all your noonas, Kook." Namjoon deadpans.

"Hyung!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Namjoon laughs. "Everyone knows you love Y/N the most."

"Yeah! Don't be jealous though, hyung." Jungkook chides, a crimson blush slowly spreading over Namjoon's cheeks. "We all know you love her the most."

"Hey—!"

"By the way," Jungkook back turns to you and ignores Namjoon's protesting, "we're all going out later. Want to come with?"

"Uh," you awkwardly scratch the back of your head. "I don't know, Jungkook. I—"

"Please?" He pulls his infamous doe eyes that makes it hard to refuse. While you normally don't have an issue with going out, you're not feeling up for it today. Especially not today of all days.

Your mind drifts to your old friends.

It's been seven years since they'd all been gone, but the memory is still fresh. For the past few years, you'd celebrated this day—all their birthdays—cradling a bottle of whatever liquor you get your hands on. You'd plow through bottle after bottle, glass after glass, trying to forget that you would have been celebrating with them had that day not happened. Then, you'd come home and sob yourself to sleep and pass out from being drunk because them being gone meant your alcohol tolerance was suddenly gone too.

"Y/N?" You snap out of your trance and see both men looking at you in confusion. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah." The hollow feeling intensifies and you feel a little nauseous, but you shake it off. "Sorry, what was that again?"

"Do you want to come with us later?" Jungkook's mood subdues at your lost expression, concern marring his pretty face. "But you can say no if you don't want to!"

You know they really wouldn't force you to come with them if you say no. They never once made you feel like you have no choice with the shenanigans they drag you into.

Then you think about what Alex would probably say if he's still here, what all of them would say. They'd kick your ass for stopping yourself from celebrating and getting wasted. They'd tell you that you need to try to forget even just for a day, and that drinking a whole ass bar is one way to do it. They would probably say some shit about honoring them by getting shitfaced.

"Okay," you say weakly.

The two men looks at you apprehensively.

"Are you sure, Y/N? We really wouldn't mind."

You nod. "It's fine. I'm sure it'll be fun."

"It will be!" Jungkook says excitedly. "I'll make sure it is."

And make sure, he does.

Eight pm rolls around and you're ready to head out with them. You don't want to risk them being seen with someone who'll just drag their image down so as much as it pains you, you actually do put effort in dressing up and looking presentable. Normally, you would just wear the most comfortable outfit. You can't risk that tonight, however. You're going out with people who has all eyes on them. Being associated with someone who looks remotely like a trash can would do nothing good for their image, although you know they could care less about that.

"Noona, you read...y?" You turn around in time to see Jungkook's Adam's apple bob in his throat. His eyes rakes your figure and you can't help the slight flush in your cheeks when you meet his intense gaze.

"Am I overdressed?" You try to joke, but it feels weak. He shakes his head, cheeks a lovely shade of pink.

"You look wonderful, noona ." He mutters under his breath, "too wonderful."

"What?"

He ignores that, giving you a blinding smile. "Shall we go?"

You feel baffled by his actions, but nod at him nonetheless. "Lemme just put on my shoes." You turn around and miss his eyes go wide when you bend over to slip on your pumps. He subtly adjusts himself through his pants and tears his eyes away from your ass before you can catch him staring. "Let's go?"

"Y-yeah." He clears his throat. "Hyungs are all waiting downstairs."

"Are you sure you're okay?" You ask. You walk over to him and put your hand on his forehead, unaware of his inner turmoil at the skin contact.

He catches your hand, and you gasp at his intense stare. A few seconds pass and he squeezes your hand before letting go.

"I'm okay." He then smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Let's go?"

--

You've already lost track of how many drinks you've consumed tonight. The corner of the bar was the perfect place and you made a beeline for it straight away once you spot it, unaware of Namjoon's eyes that were trained on you the whole time. You know you probably should've stuck with the others but you know your presence wouldn't be missed that much, so you stay put. You just left when you had enough turning down unwanted attention. Seriously, can't they all get a fucking hint?

"There you are!"

You startle as you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn around and Jungkook stands there with a dopey smile. You assume he's on the way to being drunk now, but you really can't tell. "Y/N! I've been looking for you everywhere."

Obviously not everywhere. "Sorry, Kookie. I was just at the bar."

His smile gets wider at the pet name. "Kookie?"

"Oh, I mean—"

"I like it." He takes your hand with a slight tug. "Come on, let's go find the others."

You let him lead you and weave through the throng of partygoers. You feel the warmth of his hand on yours and fixate on it. Too much, that you don't know where he's leading you until the sounds of music gets muffled and muted. There's a firm click and thud, and you're being pushed against the door. His lips are on yours before you can even comprehend what's happening.

It takes you a few seconds to realize that you're kissing back. Weakly at first, you try to push him off you until he takes the hint.

His lips detach from yours and he pulls away, breathing heavily. His profile is illuminated by the purple light of the room, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest from catching his breath.

"What are we doing?" You ask him, eyes wide.

"Nothing you won't consent to."

You look at each other wordlessly. He steps back a little from you and removes his hands on your hips. You realize that he's giving you an out if you want to, but that you really don't want him to give you an out.

The last part scares you.

"I won't force you to anything you don't want to," he says gravelly. "You can always say no."

"What if I don't want to?" You mumble. "Say no, that is."

He looks confused for a moment. When it dawns on him, however, his lips pull into a slow devilish smirk. Goosebumps follow his fingers on your skin.

"Then we do whatever you want."

It's all a blur after that.

His lips find yours again, hands seeking the curve of your hips. He trails kisses on your cheeks down to your neck and chest, and sucks bruises that make you gasp out loud as your hands tangle in his silky hair. They don't slack grip as you guide him down right where you want his mouth and hands.

He takes you twice; first is when he pounds you from behind. Your hair is fisted in his hands as he pulls on it, and your eyes roll back in pleasure.

He thrusts deeper when you moan loud. "Stay quiet, noona," the honorific sounding sinful from his lips. You keen when he grinds his hips and hit that wonderful spot.

The second is with your legs wrapped around his waist, arms on his shoulder. You can feel the pulse of his cock inside you with every savage thrust, and it makes you forget what it is you're running from. Half-crescent scratches are etched on his shoulders as you grip him tightly when you come, his hips stuttering in rhythm as his own orgasm crashes through him when you tighten around him.

Once you both finally catch your breath, he puts you down gently and fixes the creases on your dress.

"I'm taking this home," he says and pockets your panties. You don't have it in you to protest. Instead, you settle on rolling your eyes at him with a placid smile.

"I think you fucked the sad out of me," you say as your breathing calms to normal. You run your fingers through his hair and he kisses your wrist. "Thank you, Kookie. Happy birthday."

He pulls you into a tender hug, pressing a kiss on your hair. "Love you, Y/N."

You don't respond, don't need to. You know he feels it with how you fix his appearance and ruffle his hair as you lead him out of the room, totally unaware of a set of eyes that follow you both on your way out.

I’m still here

I’m still here I’m still here I’m still here

I made it this far and I made it that far and I made it through the worst of it but somehow the sky is clear and I have a mess to clean up from the storm and I have no promises that there isn’t another one brewing over the horizon or behind the trees or behind my back or in someone else I love

I have no promises, just hard work

I have no promises, just myself today, table for one, but leave the other chair.

I’ll sit in the corner in the back of the room and watch the people walk in

I’ll sit in the booth and my legs will stick to the faux leather and my belongings will fall behind the cushions and I will melt into this place and watch the world go by

He told me I should be angry but how can you be angry at something you can’t believe happened? There are so many steps between denial and acceptance and I wish I could skip them all and get in line for forgetting. It’s an amusement park with only one ride. It’s comic con with empty booths.

Last night I woke up screaming. It wasn’t even the worst nightmare I’d ever had. Not even the worst one this week. I only screamed because in this dream there was someone nearby to help. That almost makes it okay. Usually I am alone. Table for one. Except I woke up screaming, and my husband and I listened to each other’s hearts race for half an hour. Can I skip to forgetting? This afternoon I could barely remember my nightmare. It wasn’t even the worst one this week.

I wrote this instead of sleeping. Please let me sleep.

The idea warms are hitting extremely hard today, so outside of my usual DPxDC I give you, Spider-Man in Gotham...Not MCU Peter edition!

Give me a Peter Parker that is 18 going on onto 19, he has been Spider-Man for like, 5 almost 6 years, getting his bite very early, and dealing with all the things that happen to him younger.

And give me a Year One Batman. Who is still trying to figure out what the hell he is doing, and toting along a 9 year old Robin

Peter, falling out of a portal, and doing his standard check of surroundings, spotting Batman staring at him in clunky armor and a brightly colored child: Waves slowly

Bruce, who heard some freaky shit was happening with a cult near by and went to investigate: blinking at the blue and red being that got summoned

Dickie, who is trying (and failing) to do the Bat glare: still waves back.

And like, just the idea of this 19 year old Spider-Man taking a much older vigilante under his wing, teaching him the ins and outs of it all.

Like..

Bruce, Storming through a bag guys base gets suddenly pulled back by a web to his cape.

Peter, giving him a "bitch you dumb" look under his mask: Traps! LOOK FOR TRAPS?? AND LOOK UP? PEOPLE HID THINGS UP?

Bonus, Spider-Man bending himself into a human pretzels and Dick "I have no bones" Grayson is gleefully testing to see if he could do it too.

Jump cut, years later, Peter beats emotional intelligence into Bruce with Dick.

All the Bat kids grow up with Uncle Peter, (either Peter can't get back or has been told specifically that he can't by a higher being or something) and like...

Peter is the only one that catches Tiny Tim following them during patrol, he shows him all the places to get the best angles, even poses a few times for him.

Either is there when Jason dies and saves him, or is there mourning with Bruce

(Gotham lives in fear of the memory, Batman at his most brutal and Black Suit Spider-Man)

Teaches Jason how to control his pit rage after he comes back, what is Spider-Man if not control?

Stephanie is his bestie in puns and white girl music tastes.

Tim finds a partner in constantly staying up far to late as well as someone who likes to invent,( because I hc that Peter has pretty much worked with every scientist in New York, cus like since this is a blend of canons, he has worked with the Lizard, Doc Oct, Reed Richards, the only one he said no to an internship was Stark)

Duke gets a meta mentor that can help him with his powers, Spidey has been on more than one team with someone that had some form of light powers.

Plus I think Spider-man is Gothams daytime hero before Signal joins him, they are the daytime duo

Cass is his favorite (don't tell anyone because they already know) she can see him and he can see her in a spider sense, they do the point meme whenever they sense each other.

Little stabby Damian finds out that this person with his father has been trained by many an assassin (Wade, Daredevil, Natasha, Shield in general)

And Wade...Deadpool pops up occasionally, even he doesn't understand why or how lBruce gets a strange feeling he should punch the Flash in the face the next time he sees him)

Bruce having to deal with Deadpool is terrible for him and I sadly love it.

(Also on the point of Black suit spidey in Gotham...ESPECIALLY after Jason is murdered? Oh Peter is killing the Joker, or his arm privileges forfeit. I feel like Peter would try not to kill him but wouldn't try too hard.)

Spider-man being a founding members of the Justice League, them having to deal with Peter crawling on the ceiling, and scuttering through air vents!

Peter making Parker Industries, pointing inventions from other heros/villains from his world, he isn't above pettiness, and that's how the DC world gets some of Reed Richard's old designs he gave to Peter "Because they are practically useless" they arnt they save millions of lives. Not to mention Arc Reactors, Peter grinned the whole time claiming it was his idea.

Hope you enjoy my ADHD rambling brought to you be sleep deprivation

how to be a saint

they expect much from you. they will touch your skin and claim your blessing. they will chant your name until their lips form it without thinking, until their tongues have memorized the way it tastes, until they have said it so many times that they’ve claimed it as their own. your name is no longer yours. it is theirs. it is divine, now. 

you, too, are divine. they will fall to your feet and you will feel the whisper of their lips caress your skin. benevolently, gently, they will graze fingertips across your face like they are touching the face of your god. this body is not yours anymore. it is of the gods. it is a vessel. 

they will not always be so gentle. they touch you with reverence, yes, but they are hungry. they are hungry for the touch of the divine for the gods for you. they will devour you with dripping lips and red hands and smile and say more. it is never enough. it never will be. they will slowly taste your flesh and tear you to pieces. your blood is not yours anymore. it is stardust and ichor and wine and ecstasy. 

the choir sings like angels with your name at every breath and you realize their singing starts to sound like screaming. why aren’t you singing? Sing for us. your voice is the gods’ voice. no it is not your voice you do not get to speak for yourself. you never spoke for yourself. your voice is not yours. 

your body is a temple. they will offer up food and drink and more gold than you will ever need. none of it is yours. the church will take it. you do not know what for. they tell you not to worry about it. worry will mar that perfect face of yours. do not destroy that body gifted to you by the gods, they say. do not be ungrateful. they have made you a perfect vessel for us. this is not the first time they have made a temple out of a body. haven’t you figured it out yet? you own nothing. nothing is yours anymore. 

they crave you like they crave anything they cannot have. you are intoxicating, addicting, your silken skin and sweet voice. they stare up at you like you are a god, blinded by the light. they do not realize they are looking at a corpse. 

how come you are not perfect? you were molded in the shape of perfect beings. you should be perfect. they want more. they need more. you are not enough. if you are not enough they will feast on your flesh and lick their lips and beg for more. can you hear them screaming? they need more. more. MORE. 

you taste divine. 

This post will now haunt me forever in my nightmares. I’ve been having nightmares about Takofuusen for 3 nights straight. Well, at least it was worth it.

Hope you enjoy!

Yume Nikki and it's unique open-for-interpretation mechanic

Hello everybody! I am here again with a new post, and this time it’s to speak about the unique kind of storytelling of an indie RPG videogame characterized not for a clear story, but rather for having a gameplay and a hidden plot full of secrets and elements left for fan interpretation, with nothing being quite confirmed yet not being denied either, leaving it to be an intriguing game and a suitable space for passionate fans who like to theorize and make interpretations of it without never really getting any confirmations to the mysteries surrounding the game.

And it’s creator is just as mysterious as it’s creation, since we know nothing about them other than they made this game and their “name” (which it’s not even certain to be their actual name and it could be nothing but a simple nickname): Kikiyama. And said game, is Yume Nikki.

SPOILER WARNING.

For anyone who hasn’t played Yume Nikki yet, I highly recommend that you go play it first and then come back to read this essay. If you haven’t played but still wanna read, then that’s your problem bud. Without anything else to say, we may procceed.

CONTENT WARNING. In this essay there will be mentions of heavy topics such as s*xu4l assault, 4b*rti*n, depression, car accidents, death, and others. If you are quite sensitive to these kind of things, I’d suggest not reading this text. If you decide to continue anyways, then read under your own risk. You have already been warned.

Yume Nikki’s title screen. 

What is Yume Nikki?

Yume Nikki is an indie RPG videogame made made back then in 2004 by the Japanese developer Kikiyama, using the game engine RPG Maker 2003. The game contains llittle to no elements of a traditional RPG videogame, and it has been described by some as an example of an early “walking-simulator” since the game it’s mainly focused in the exploration of a dream world via the protagonist, Madotsuki (窓付き, lit. windowed).

Our protagonist is a young girl who is implied to be a hikikomori (someone who lives reclused, isolated from the outside world) given the fact that when you try to get her to walk out of her  room, she will shake her head, showing us she doesn’t want to go outside. Not much can be done while you’re inside in her room, other than go to the balcony and play the minigame NASU in the Famicom device Madotsuki has in her room.

Madotsuki in her room.

We can also get her to go to her bed, to sleep, and here is where the fun begins: we wake up in the dream world, and our objective here is to collect all of the 24 effects which we can find across the realm. As we walk looking for the effects, we will explore this strange, bizarre world inside of Madotsuki’s mind which will makes us ask ourselves more than once: What does all of this mean? We are in Madotsuki’s subconscious, but what is her subconscious trying to tell us? What do these NPCs, these weird scenarios, flashy images, the effects and events, what do all of these are trying to tell us?

We don’t really know what’s going on inside and that’s what has brought us to the point I’m about to cover:

Fan interpretation.

The story of the game isn’t quite clear if you are trying to follow a lineal order in the game: that simply doesn’t exist. As for a background story, while the game clearly doesn’t show a background story or origins, if you pay attention to the dream world and begin connecting the dots you can guess a lot about how Madotsuki’s past was and we can theorize on how she ended up being a hikikomori in the first place.

And here’s where fan interpretation comes and does its work: 

based on what the game gives us and the etymologies and references where every single thing comes from: the fans simply don’t forget about the details that easily.

I will use the case of these 4 images as an example:

Kyuukyuukun in the Stairway, a strange event which occurs when you stab the zippertile in the Number World.

Madotsuki and Masada-sensei, in the spaceship, a special event in-game.

Madotsuki and Mars-san, triggered by the spaceship crash event.

Takofuusen in the White Desert, an event that only happens in one of 3600 chances. If you see it, then consider yourself extremely lucky (or unlucky).

Kyuukyuu-Kun and Madotsuki’s abuse trauma.

The first image shows us an NPC known as Kyuukyuu-kun (キュッキュ君, キュッキュくん, Kyukkyu-kun, named after the Japanese onomatopoeia of the rubbing noise) which is characterized by its peculiar form and its creepy smile. Something characteristic from this figure is that when you enter the room where it is located, you will find him rubbing the railing of a stair. If you use the cat effect on Madotsuki, Kyuukyuu-kun will rub it slower, and if you use the knife effect, it will rub the railing faster.

The thing itself… if you take this to interpretation it turns out to be really disturbing.

These are what we can take as “canon facts” and honestly? There’s not much we can really get if we just pick these facts and don’t analyze it in depth.

Now, here is what we can get if we analyze these facts plus other implicit stuff in-game, via fan interpretation:

Kyuukyuu-kun possesses rather a phallic form, similar to the masculine genitalia, and to enter the Stairway zone you need to enter through an specific zippertile in the number world. This, added to the fact that he possesses a creepy smile and that he seems to rub the railing only when Madotsuki moves, is usually interpreted by fans as Madotsuki having some sort of trauma related to sexual abuse, with this figure being an oneiric representation of Madotsuki’s abuser.

Masada-sensei, Mars-san and the symbolism of a repressed memory of a train accident of someone Madotsuki knew

In the second image, we can appreciate a character standing along with our protagonist, in front of a grand piano, along with a table with two chairs that can be found in the room, and a big window that allows you to see into space. This character, known as Sentimental Komuro Michael Sakamoto Dada-sensei (センチメンタル小室マイケル坂本ダダ先生, or simply Masada, or Seccom Masada)is found when you go down the staircase of hands, walk past the elevator and extinguish the fire at the end of the room, gaining access to the underground world and entering the spaceship where this NPC is located. In game, all we can know is that he makes a robotic noise when you interact with him. If the cat effect is used, he will approach Madotsuki, and when the knife effect is used, he will move away (and when he moves we can play the piano key that he is standing in front of).

Going to the right side, there is a room with a bed in his spaceship where Madotsuki can sleep, and this can trigger an even which is possible in 1 of 6 possibilities: the Mars crash. This happens if Madotsuki sleeps in his bed and after a while when she awakes, the spaceship will have an alarm, as it falls rapidly. When we go back to check on Masada, he will be panicking and the sound he emits is higher-pitched than usual.

                         Poor Masada… 

The game plays a cutscene of the spaceship finally crashing in Mars and here when after exploring for a while, we get to interact with Mars-San: a blue figure with a crying eye.

Mars-san.

Aside from getting it to make a sound when interacted with him, Madotsuki can stab him, making him to change his eye color to green and blue. Stabbing him again will cause his eye color to go back to normal.

                          Mars-san when stabbed.

Again, basing ourselves on only what the canon gives us, there’s not really much to say about, other than the already explained. Now, using the interpretation, there’s a lot to talk about, and basing on what the canon gives us, the fans have come to theorize that Masada-sensei used to be Madotsuki’s piano teacher, who had with her something more than just a teacher-student relationship (which could be hinted by the fact that there’s a bed in Masada’s spaceship and Madotsuki sleeps on it), and while it is unsure what kind of relationship they had (either a platonic, romantic or a sexual relationship), it is assured that Madotsuki cared about him.

Now, the spaceship crash event, Mars-san’s form resembling to a leg and the fact that in order to reach him you have to fall asleep in three different beds (real life bed, one of the dream world’s beds and the spaceship’s bed)would mean Madotsuki would be dreaming inside of a dream which is also inside of another dream. This could mean that the character represents a repressed memory in Madotsuki’s subconscious.

The machinery surrounding Mars-san seems very train-resembling like, and putting all the pieces together, one of the most popular interpretations is that Masada-san had a train accident and Madotsuki was a part of it (directly involved or not, she definitely saw it), and since she cared about Masada, this incident caused her a trauma that went repressed in the depths of her mind (in here, Mars-san is one of Masada’s injured legs after the accident… this is a personal interpretation here lmao sorry), as it was an extremely painful experience for her.

Takofuusen, TRAP Syndrome, and abortion.

Finally for this post, we will go with the last image: Takofuusen  (たこ風船, タコ風船, 凧風船, Octopus Balloon or Kite Balloon), a random event in Yume Nikki named after the character with the same name, which as I stated earlier, it’s the event with the most rare probabilities of happening. If it happens, consider yourself extremely lucky (or unlucky, depends of your perception).

What do we canonically know about Takofuusen? 

Well. Basically nothing.

We know it has a very weird shape, we know it appears randomly in one of 3600 chances, we know it makes some weird sound when it flies across the white desert and that’s it.

                             Come on man… you can’t say to me this doesn’t look creepy. Or disturbing. Or at least weird.

And now, with the star of the show: interpretation.

Takofuusen has been called out for having a shape which has a disturbing resemblance to a case of Twin Reversed Arterial Perfusion syndrome, aka TRAP syndrome, a malformation of monochromic (identical) twins (and the white desert -including Takofuusen itself- is full of NPCs that are characterized for being all monochrome) which curiously only happens in 1 of every 36.000 pregnancies (and Takofuusen event happens in 1 of 3.600 chances, are you connecting the dots yet?) WARNING: DISTURBING IMAGE AHEAD.

Picture of monochromic twins with TRAP syndrome. The resemblance is… scarily insane in my opinion.

So what’s the theory here? The fans speculate that Madotsuki could have been pregnant (which is implied by other elements in the game too) and Takofuusen could either be the representation of her fear of a malformation, or the fact that she was pregnant AND unfortunately the malformation was there, which led her to have an abortion.

It’s also speculated that this could be Madotsuki’s unborn brother/siblings, who due to the (implied) car accident of her parents, the baby developed the malformation and eventually died.

Alright. We have seen the examples. Now, what’s my point here?

Look at how much we get only if we stay in canon. And now look how much lore and story we get if we begin doing interpretation of the game. I think it’s very interesiting how Kikiyama left us to be the ones to do the research without ever getting clear answers from them, because we are the ones who need to get the answers on our own.

I could speak for hours about this topic with more examples, but for now I’ll just leave it there, or it’s gonna be wayyy too long. Plus, I will invite you to make your own interpretations of the game, share them with me even.

With nothing else to say, I conclude this essay.

Thank you for reading this far, I hope you have enjoyed it, and if I get motivated (and don’t get disturbed while writing) I might even make a second part.

Hope you have a good day! See you next time.

- Beatriz Aqueveque Henríquez.

Okay so hear me out,

Almost three hours ago I was like "hey i wanna Google this" so I took out my phone, but before opening Google I was like "WAIT I wanna see something on Pinterest first" so I proceeded to open Pinterest, and after nearly two hours I am proud to say that I did not, in fact, do anything but read about how you CANNOT actually sneeze with your eyes open!

Adhd is a bitch, but it's MY bitch.