"Out Of The Blue I'm Hit And I Am Experiencing A Fiery Crash. Taken Off Guard I Truly Did Not See This

"Out of the blue I'm hit And I am experiencing A fiery crash. Taken off guard I truly did not see this coming, But isn't that How it always comes? Silently in the night When you least expect it? Soaring through heaven Hell suddenly erupts Dragging you down. Flailing you grope for anything Just trying to find a foothold In order to stop your descent. You are afraid of the depths You know you can go to And everything in you Is wanting to fight. Unfortunately Everything in you Wants to give up. To stop flapping your wings And give in to the sleep. Here you are again Rolling in the pit of your own soul. How many times have you been here? A familiarity That hurts you more than the start." - Andrew

"Have you ever thought about addiction? Wondered what it was like? Her name is desire And she tastes of paradise."

"He watches her, A fading ghost Dissipating over an ocean. The sun is running away And eyes are beginning to close. Sleeping entity Trying to forget That they exist." - Andrew

“Feeling like A dumbass Unable to understand Why Why it was too much to ask Why was this task Too much for me”

- Andrew

Downswing

"I have good days But I also have bad ones. My thoughts begin to run Until they have become An avalanche. I am steadily buried underneath, Unable to resist the onslaught. I start off ok But soon the weight of it all Is crushing me, And what strength I have Is quickly subdued. There isn't any logic to it. It happens. These thoughts I have I know they are not mine, Yet here they are Taring me down. When I was young I didn't know any better. Hating myself Always felt right When these times came. That temptation is still here But I know that it will pass. I have done nothing wrong. Everything is ok. Trying to not listen To the thoughts. Waiting on the upswing To carry me back to bliss." - Andrew

Why I Laugh

"Because I get the joke. I see this pattern In everything. I read it in a book That no one understands. From there I see it in the world, Existence, And now my life. Patterns that are infinitely displayed. I see what is happening. It has happened before. My heart is shutting down. My body is going back on auto pilot. My mind is once again caught up In the constructs; Living themes. Programed responses. Tired. Waiting to wake up again From my philosopher's sleep. To walk the world once more With the hope that then It will be different. That then will be the time And they will understand. Unobserved I walk half-consciously. No one ever understanding Who is walking by." - Andrew