THE INVESTIGATION

THE INVESTIGATION

Summery: They should have seen it coming… Ferrari was going to conduct an internal investigation about some of the races, even though the championship wasn’t even over yet. (This is pure fiction and it probably won’t be accurate, not even a little bit. I am no expert, everything is made up).

Warnings: this is not proofread. Poor English, not even a little bit of accuracy, not very Mattia Binotto friendly

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

The age of the reader is not specified but in my head she just a little bit older than Charles, like 27-30 years old but that’s just in my head

You were standing there, just staring at the building, trying to breath: you knew that as soon as you were to enter the building you couldn’t be your usual self, you were going to be what was asked of you and most importantly what was needed of you.

You already knew what most of the people inside that building were going to think of you, what they were going to call you, you already knew because it was always the same: they were going to think you were a bitch, the mean lady- or pretentious little girl as some liked to call you for your young age- that was going to ruin their life. As if you were happy when your presence ended in people getting fired.

The building was towering over you in a scaring way, even scarier was thinking what your presence here meant. If you could have chosen you wouldn’t be here, your job wasn’t going to be pretty but you knew someone had to do it and who better than you.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but somehow the press knows already”- James, your assistant, said interrupting your thoughts

You kept your eyes on the building in front of you but hummed so he knew you had heard him

“But you already knew that”- he was looking at you with knowing eyes

“I did”- you said still looking at the building

“You were the one leaking the news, weren’t you?”- he asked, even if he already knew the answer to that

“Yes, it was me”

“Why? We’re gonna lose the element of surprise”- James not always understood your moves, you knew that, as you knew he wasn’t asking to undermine your decision but to understand it better

“We don’t need to surprise them, we need to put some pressure on them”- you took a deep breath and started to walk, your team behind you.

The little bit of fear, you were feeling a moment before, was already gone: you were here to do a job and you were going to nail it like you always did.

(Just to be clear this GIF doesn’t imply that the reader is white, it’s just the only one I found.)

The guard at the front of the building had been eyeing you and your team since you had arrived; you were sure he wasn’t used to new people trying to get in the building unless a tour had been scheduled for the day, and you didn’t think the man had been informed of your arrival.

You tried to wear your most reassuring smile and approached the door

“Buongiorno”- (Good Morning) the guard mirrored your smile

“Buongiorno, scusi il disturbo. È possibile entrare?”- you asked (Good morning and sorry for the trouble. Can we come in?)

“Mi dispiace signora, ma il complesso non è aperto per le visite oggi”- (I’m so sorry madame, but it’s not possible to visite the building today) you could tell the man was actually sorry for you and you sincerely smiled at him. It was always nice to meet kind people during a, what you were sure, was going to be a though day, if not weeks of work.

“Lo so, sono qui per vedere il Signor Binotto, qualcosa mi dice che mi sta aspettando”- (I know, I’m here to see Mr Binotto, I’m sure he’s waiting for me by now) the man looked a little bit startled, confirming your suspension that still very few people knew what was going to happen even if you had leaked the news. Despite his surprise, the guard didn’t hesitate to call the team principal

“Grazie, possiamo aspettare qui?” - you asked getting a positive nod from the man (Thank you, can we wait here?)

You and your team hadn’t been waiting long that Mattia Binotto appeared in the hall

“Salve”- he was smiling but you could see suspicious in his eyes: he couldn’t be sure but he knew who you were

“Hello Mr Binotto, I’m Y/n Y/l/n. I’m sure you have been informed of my arrival”- you said smiling at the man.

“Yeah I was informed this morning”

“Good, so without further ado, I would like to start today by looking at the cars and at the reports of the races you have run until now this year. I’m gonna need to talk with some of your employees, of course I don’t think I’ll be able to do all today but- “ you weren’t looking at the man while talking, too taken by the schedule you had made for yourself and your time on your iPad, so you hadn’t seen the look Binotto was giving you, but you heard the harsh tone with which he stopped your speach

“I don’t know who you think you are but you can’t come here and…”- you were usually a polite person and you didn’t like interrupting people, but you had learned long ago that with some people if you let them squished you once they were gonna do it again and again.

You knew you and Binotto were playing a game to see who had the upper hand right now and you almost wanted to laugh at the man for thinking even for a second you were going to “bow” to him.

“Let me stop you right there dear, I don’t care what you think Mr Binotto. I’m here to do a job and I’m gonna do it with or without your help, but let me give you a piece of advice : when I write my final report you’re gonna want me to say that the team principal was very accommodating and provided all the help we needed during our investigation. Because at the end of this investigation, if my report is not gonna be very positive, it’s possible that some head are gonna fall”- yeah you could be over the top sometimes, but you needed this man to understand the seriousness of the situation and you weren’t sure he had yet.

“Are you threatening ing me? Do you think you’re the first person trying to come for my job?”- Binotto said

“Don’t make me laugh, I don’t want your job or anyone else’s. I love my job, I’m good at it and I love Ferrari, that’s why I was sent here. And just to make myself clear, I’m not threatening you not anyone else. If everyone has done his job as they should have, you have nothing to fear from me; but if something doesn’t add up I’m gonna find out, and I’m gonna vividly recommend to fire who is not performing well and can I tell you a little secret, I have found out that usually when you cut the problem at the top , you have more chance to fix it and progress from there. Now are you gonna show me what I need or do I have to find it for myself?”

“This way, but I’m gonna ask for you to be the only one in the room, there are some confidential information”-Binotto said

“Of course me and my team are gonna be very discreet about it”- you smiled

“Your team? Absolutely not”

“I’m tired already”- you whispered and you could hear your team softly laughing at you- “I’m a very smart woman, but I’m not such a know-all to think I can correctly evaluate everything without my strategist, my engineer, my mechanic and go on. “

“If you need any information you can count on my team to help you, if something is not clear to you”- he was still defying you, but you weren’t scared a minute before and you weren’t going to start now. The little fear you had once felt, disappeared as soon as you entered the building.

“Yeah I’m sure your team would be so eager to show me any possible mistakes. You can whine as much as you want, but I have full access to every inch of this establishment and everything it contain, nothing can go out until my investigation is over, just to be clear . My team has the same access as me and that’s that. If you’re not happy about it, you can complain with your CEO since he’s the one who sent me here. Now I’m done with waisting my time.” - you stopped looking at Binotto all together. You had tried to be nice but you weren’t going to waste any more of your time- “Signor Giovanni vero?”- you said moving your attention to the guard at the front (Mister Giovanni right?)

“Si signora” (yes madam)

“Signor Giovanni, da questo momento fino a quando non sarò io a dirle differentemente, nessun documento può uscire da questo edificio senza la mia autorizzazione. Quindi dovrò chiederle di controllare qualsiasi borsa, qualsiasi zaino, qualsiasi busta in uscita e in ingresso. Se le sto chiedendo troppo, non esiti a farmelo presente e le affiancheremo qualcuno per aiutarla fino a quando non toglierò il disturbo”- (Mr Giovanni, from now on and since I tell you otherwise nothing, not even a blank piece of paper, can leave or enter this building without my authorization. So I’m gonna need you to check every purse, every backpack everything that goes out or in the building.If I’m asking too much of you, please let me know and I’ll be sure to find someone to help you until my job here is done)- you smiled trying to be as reassuring as possible, you weren’t here to make friends but you could try not to make too many enemies at least, beside Mattia Binotto of course. You could feel his eyes burning holes in your head and you almost smirked at him, you didn’t necessarily want to antagonize him but man, did he need to be put in his place.

“Certamente signora, farò quello che chiede”- Giovanni said (of course madam, I’ll do as you ask)

“Oh no, non mi chiami signora la prego o mi farà sentire vecchia. La ringrazio per la sua gentilezza Signor Giovanni, le lascio il numero del mio assistente, non esiti a chiamare per qualsiasi motivo, meglio una domanda in più che una in meno.” (Don’t call me Madam please or I’m gonna feel too old. I really appreciate your kindness Mr Giovanni, I’m gonna leave you my assistant’s number, please call him if you have any questions or need any help)

You smiled once again at the man before looking at your team again

“James please be sure to explain to Mr Giovanni what we need from him and if needed stay with him as long as necessary. Now we are gonna…-“ you stopped to look at the front once again when you felt eyes on you. There at the entrance , there were none other than Carlo Sainz and Charles Leclerc, the Ferrari drivers

“Hello Mr Leclerc, Mr Sainz”- you smiled at the drivers, trying to control your inner fangirl. -“It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Y/n Y/l/n, I’m gonna try my best not to interfere too much with your work, the last think we want is for the drivers to lose their focus. I’m here to make sure you have all the elements to succeed. This being said, I’m gonna leave you to your day, I’m sure we’ll have the time to talk. Have a good day”- You looked one last time at the drivers: Carlos was faintly smiling, it was clear he was unsure how to behave himself but he didn’t want to be rude, if you had to bet he had read the news of the investigation. Your eyes met the other driver’s eyes Charles, and you felt your heartbeat skipping a second, you could almost lose yourself in the green of his eyes.

You looked at his lips and damn it if they didn’t look enticing, you really wanted to know how they felt like, you could only hope he knew how to use those sinful lips, it would be such a shame otherwise.

A smirk appeared on his face and that was enough to clear your mind and let you focus on the task at hand once again.

You took a breath and turned around, you couldn’t lose your focus, even though…. Nope, not going there.

You nodded at your team and started walking like you were the owner of the room like your mother had thought you.

“Let’s go guys , we have work to do”- you looked at Mattia Binotto once again before leaving the room… it was going to be a tough job and you were pretty sure the principal had no intention of helping you.

And as though you didn’t have enough problems already, you needed to make sure to have as little interaction as possible with Charles Leclerc.

I’m just gonna dump this here and run 😂

I don’t know what this is really

English is not my first language so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes

Feedback is always welcome and appreciated 😊

Masterlist

The one with “Spill your Guts”

Summery: Henry is a guest on The Late Late Show with James Corden and let something slipped out

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Henry was actually rethinking the whole thing: everything smelled awful and he couldn’t help but gag. It was going to be a long night.

James Corden, sat in front of him, and was already laughing

“Welcome back everyone, I’m James Corden and I’m here with Henry Cavill and we are going to play one of our favorite games “Spill your Guts or Fill your Guts”. Are you ready Henry”- James asked

“I really really am not. I’m thinking about running away”- he laughed

“It’s too late for that; but let’s get back to our game. So here is how it works I will ask a question, you can either choose to answer the question or eat the food I pick. Let’s have a look at the food here: hot sauce, salmon ice cream, we’ve got cow tongue, a thousand years old egg, pig blood curd and our old time favorite the bull penis”- James said laughing - “so do you wanna start, or should I ask first?”

“I can start, so I have to decide what to give you right?”- Henry asked - “ok, let’s see I’d like to give you the cow’s tongue.”- he took the card with the questions and slightly smiled -“oh man, this gonna be a tough one to answer to”

“Really”- Corden asked

“James which product that you’ve been paid heavily to endorse do you not use?”

The question was soon followed by the public clapping their hands, it was clear they couldn’t wait for the answer

“I told you it was gonna be a tough one”- Henry said -“ ok chase bank, curry coffe or Apple Music”

James took a deep breath

“Ok chase bank, curry coffe and Apple Music which of those products I don’t use”- he repeated while thinking. It was clear he was having trouble choosing what to do - “ok… well…”- he added while taking the cow’s tongue -“ I think I’m gonna… Yep”- he took a huge bite of the tongue

“Oh my god”- Henry was astonished- “it must taste awful”

“It sure does”- James laughed -“it’s your turn bud, I’m gonna give you the hot sauce. I’m being nice here as you can see. So the question is”- he started laughing -“to the nearest million how much do you make a year”

Everyone in the audience started laughing along with Corden

“Well… cheers”- said Henry before drinking the hot sauce. His eyes were nearly watering… -“it’s good, I’m probably going to have hiccups so don’t mind me. I’m choosing again right… I’m gonna go with some pig blood curd, it looks delicious doesn’t it”- Henry asked the audience laughing once he saw James gagging already

“I wanna remember you it’s gonna be your turn again next…”

“Ok ok the question. Peter rabbit, emoji movie, trolls rank them from worst to best”

“I feel so bad though, because I like all the people that worked on those films but I can’t eat that”- James said after smelling the curd once again

“If you pinch your nose it’ll go down easier I think”- Henry laughed

“Come on. Ok I’m gonna answer it, there is no way I’m gonna eat that. I’ll rank them best to worst, so number one Peter Rabbit, number two trolls, number three emojii movie. There done it”- James answered earning the cheering of the audience -“ Now it’s your turn again Cavill are you ready?”

“Not at all”

“Ok so I’m gonna give you the salmon ice cream and here’s the question: who is the celebrity that has your number that you wish didn’t”- James read the card

“Oh my god this is a terrible game”- Henry laughed -“whose idea was it… I mean after what you put me through today, probably you… I’m kidding, I’m kidding.. well I’m not totally kidding”

James couldn’t stop laughing

“I bet you’re regretting answering my call and accepting my invite, aren’t you”- Corden asked

“I totally am, I don’t know if I’ll ever pick up the phone again”- Henry asked - “Is my answer valid or should I eat the ice cream?”- he asked the audience

EAT, EAT, EAT

Screamed the audience and Henry groaned before taking a spoon and eating a chunk of ice cream

“It tastes awful if you were wondering”- Henry said to the audience - “ok let’s see I’m gonna give you the one thousand years old egg because that smells really awful and I don’t wanna be the one eating it. So James name two of the cameraman that are here right now”

James tried to look around before eating the egg without saying anything

“Good?”- asked Henry

“Tasty”- jokes James -“so now I’m gonna give you some bull penis”

“Well thank you, I haven’t had some penises in a while”- Henry chuckled

“If you had to choose between Gal Gadot and Anya Chalotra, who would you date?”- James asked

“Oh my god”- Henry closed his eyes trying to figure out how to get out of that one

“Well they are both your costar and they’re both beautiful women”

“You’re putting me in a tough spot James, if I answer this question my wife will never let me live it down”- Henry groaned

“Wait what… wife?”- James asked evidently excited about Henry’s word

Silence filled the studio, it was clear everyone was astonished by what just came out. No one wanted to miss not even a word

“Oh damn I wasn’t supposed to say that”

“So let’s put aside the game because you know it’s my show and I can do whatever I want. Henry are you married”- James was confused. He always tried to be informed about his guests and he would have guaranteed Henry wasn’t even in a relationship until a minute ago

“Oh my god, I’m so gonna sleep on the couch tonight. Can’t I just eat the bull penises, it seems more appealing than answering your question right now”- Henry didn’t know how to get out of this one. He knew you would only pretend to be mad about his slipped out but he should have been more careful. You weren’t hiding per se, you were just careful because you knew that every time people knew about his relationships they would always have something to say about them. He just wanted to protect you and you both wanted to protect your privacy and your relationship.

Anyway dwelling on it wasn’t going to help, he had to decide how to answer now.

“Ok ok. Forgive me love”- Henry said looking at the camera before turning towards James Corden once again -“If someone didn’t hear me a couple of minutes before, yes I’m married”

“There are so many questions… can we know with whom, how did you two met, how long have you been married? In other words tell us everything you can”- James said and Henry couldn’t help but chuckled at the man enthusiasm

“Well her name is Y/n, we met on the set of The Tudors actually, she played my mistress in the last season. We lost contact for a while but we met again four years ago and we have been together ever since. We got married last year”- Henry smiled like he always did when he talked about you.

“Well you have heard here first… but Henry you have to eat the bull penis now”- James laughed -“I’m joking I’m joking”- he stopped Henry who had taken the cup ready to eat-“Henry thank you for coming here and for the scoop really”

You were at home on the couch looking your husband outing your relationship on tv.

“Well Kal, look what your dad did… what do you say should we forgive him?”- you asked the pup. He barked, always ready to defend his human

“Ok ok I’ll forgive him, but I’ll make him work for it”- you smiled already planning Henry’s road to forgiveness.

I have a thing for writing about talk show if you hadn’t noticed

Taglist: @xxxkatxo @jwspiter @maan24 @littlewrenofrivia @omgkatinka @xprettyqueenx @marytudorbrandon @amortentiaaaa @summersong69 @margauxmargaux07

My taglists are so confusing really, so if I forgot someone or I tagged someone who I wasn’t supposed to, please know that I’m sorry and let me know.

English is not my first language so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes

Charles Leclerc // SMAU -Part 4

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I don’t know where I’m going with this seriously. I guess I’ll see what inspiration the next races will give me

English is not my first language so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes

Feedback is always welcome and appreciated ❤️

Masterlist

“Happy birthday Mr Evans”

Pairings: Chris Evans x reader

Summery: Chris thought that the best gift you ever gave him was saying yes to marrying him during Christmas three years ago. He never thought you could top that

Chris had always thought that the best gift you ever could have given him was saying yes to marrying him during Christmas three years ago. I mean how could you top that, right?

Wrong!

You had been able to top that last year during your anniversary when you had gifted him with a beautiful Patriots baby onesie with “Baby Evans” written on the back. Chris had been ecstatic: knowing you were pregnant with his child was the best gift ever. So yeah he was sure now: you couldn’t top that.

He had begged you not to get anything for his birthday: you were eight months long and he didn’t want you to exhaust yourself by looking for a birthday gift for him. Beside he didn’t need anything, he had everything he had always wanted: you had made sure of it.

Chris woke up the morning of his birthday and immediately looked for you, but you weren’t laying beside him: why were you not in bed? Why were you not in bed cuddling him the day of his birthday? You knew how much he liked smothering you and your bump as soon as he woke up.

Since you had told him you were pregnant, the first thing he did, right after kissing you good morning, was talking and showing his love to your baby bump. So why weren’t you there?

Chris lightly raised his head from his pillow and he noticed Dodger on his bed. Well that was even weirder: since you had been pregnant (even before you knew it) Dodger had been your personal bodyguard, he left your side only for his walks and even then Chris had to practically begged him to go out. Let’s say the dog would prefer when you decided to accompany them too. Chris was very proud of his buddy, it was clear he had taken his new big brother status very seriously.

So how come you had left the bed and Dodger hadn’t followed you?

“Dodge? Where is your mom?”- he asked the dog that looked at him whining a little, showing his evident displeasure about not knowing.

Chris was just about to get up and come looking for you when the bedroom door opened and he was left speechless.

You were in a new set of lingerie that not only flaunted your beautiful breast but also framed your beautiful baby bump.

Chris knew you were wearing it only for him and not only because it was his birthday but most of all because you had been very unsure about your body lately, even if he had never stopped telling and showing you how much he loved your body every day.

You had always been stunning and Chris had never been able to resist you, not even when Scott introduced you for the very first time (you two had ended up in bed together that day to Scott’s displeasure and Chris’ smugness) But since you were pregnant and in particular since you had started showing, Chris had almost gone insane with his need to have you.

Did it make him a caveman that rejoice in his efficiency in getting his woman pregnant? Maybe.

Did he care? Hell to the fuck not!

Anyway… you were stunning and Chris knew he was the luckiest man in the world.

You stood on the door just for another moment looking at him.

“Don’t you dare laugh at me, ok?”- you warned him

“Of all the things I’m thinking about doing, laughing isn’t one of them, baby. I promise you”- he licked his lips. He wanted to devour you… well carefully devour you of course.

He wasn’t sure why you were so nervous, it couldn’t be only because of the lingerie, you should have noticed how positively affected he was by you right now. And by positive affected he meant he was painfully hard.

“Baby, are you-” you shushed him before he could finish and cleared your throat and before he knew it you were singing to him and he was smiling like a crazy man. God… he loved you so much.

“Happy birthday Mr Evans… happy birthday to you”- you sensually sang while gently getting on the bed with him.

“You’re so beautiful baby”- he said once you had finished and were laying beside him.

“I’m ridiculous, I don’t even know why I thought it was a good idea. Who would want a whale to sing them happy birthday?”- you whined

“A sexy whale”- he laughed when you playfully smack him

“Come here. Let me show you how much I love you, you birthday man”- you said

You were so caught in Chris’s kisses and hands roaming all over your body that you almost didn’t notice.

“Chris”- you moaned while he was playing with your clit. And suddenly he stopped, his hand was no longer on you.

“Well I’m getting better and better it seems”- he smiled smug while looking at his wet hand

“Oh my god! Chris I didn’t come”- you didn’t know if you should laugh at him or smack him behind the head

“What?”- he was so confuse and so adorable

“Those were my waters, they broke”- you smiled

“What?”

“My waters just broke, baby”- you raised your eyebrow at him

“Oh my god, oh my god… your waters broke. Dodge mommy waters just broke… I’m becoming a daddy. Let’s go let’s go let’s go”- he said while jumping around the room. Dodger started barking and you couldn’t help yourself but laugh.

“You’re behaving like a four year old baby, not a forty years old man”

“Who cares! I’m going to be a daddy”- he said while helping you up.

The road to the hospital was mostly calm, your contractions weren’t fun but you couldn’t wait to meet your baby.

Only when you were on a wheelchair in the hospital you remember

“Oh my god baby, I totally forgot. There is a surprise birthday party for you tonight. I’m so sorry”- you were so crushed , you had spent so much time organizing the party for him and now he couldn’t even enjoy it

“Don’t worry once you’re set in your room, I’m gonna call Ma and Scott to tell them you’re having the baby and I’ll tell Scott to tell everybody else, ok?”- he gently caressed your cheek

“I’m so… uhhh… so sorry baby”- you scream while having another contraction.

Chris really didn’t know how you did it, you were so strong: it had almost been 8 hours of labor but at the end your baby was here and Chris couldn’t stop smiling.

“He’s so beautiful”- he said while looking at his son… he had a son

“Happy birthday Mr Evans… and happy birthday baby Evans”- you smiled while singing again…

And Chris almost cried.

He had always thought the best gift you had ever given him was saying yes to marrying him during Christmas three years ago, but you had proved him wrong two years later when you told him you were pregnant during your anniversary. He had been sure then you could never top that gift.

You proved him wrong once again during his 40th birthday when you gave him his son, with whom he now shared his birthday. It was perfect.

Author note: I wanted to write something for Chris’ birthday and I don’t know why I thought about my cousin’s son who last year was born the day of his dad’s birthday… I think it’s so cute they share a birthday now

Anyway… English is not my first language so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes… I’m pretty sure there is a part that’s not super clear but I don’t know how to fix it 😂

Like always FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOME AND APPRECIATED ❤️

Never Stopped

Baby Daddy/Biker!Bucky x Ex-gf/Remarried!Reader

I do NOT give consent for my work to be republished anywhere!!

Enjoy reading 💕 requests are open!

Summary: you and Bucky have been co parenting for 3 years. You’re re-married and he’s still in love when you go through a dramatic experience that makes you finally open up about your husband.

Warnings: miscarriage, mentions of blood, hospitals, ambulances, depression, toxic and mentally abusive relationship, death, funerals. Also major Bucky fluff, because you need a warning for fluffy Biker Bucky

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“Okay, little man it’s time for bed.” You heard Bucky’s voice from the living room. Him and your son, Bennet, had been watching Benny’s new favorite cartoon since Bucky arrived 3 hours ago. He had been excited, all week, to introduce his dad to the new show he was watching.

“But Daddy-”

“No buts. Your mom said bedtime was 9:00 on weekends and you gotta listen to your mom, Buddy. She’s tired too.” Bucky says gently as he stands up grabbing a few of the things the two of them had managed to throw about. “Will you help me pick up these dishes, Bensy-Boy?”

Bennet just giggled at the nickname. He grabbed a few cups and the boys made their way into the kitchen.

When they reached their destination, Bucky was not happy with what he saw. His face dropped instantly.

It was you standing at the sink, still washing dishes. It seemed like you were always slaving away doing something around the house when he was here.

“Do you even know what it feels like to sit down anymore?”

“I gotta stay busy, Bucky.” You say almost frantically.

“Yeah I know,” he mumbles sadly as he paces over to you. He drops a few dishes in the sink and turns around to Bennet.

“Hey buddy, why don’t you go ahead upstairs and brush your teeth, I’ll be up there in a second.”

Bennet just smiles and nods, always excited to do anything his dad tells him to do. Bucky watched as the boy runs up the stairs before yelling a quiet “walk please” and chuckling at his hyper son.

He turns back to you, watching you scrub desperately at the plate in your hand.

“Come on, it’ll still be here in the morning, you need to rest.”

You didn’t answer, you just picked up another plate and started washing.

“Y/n, I’m serious, you just had surgery you need to lay down.”

“Can’t.” You say quickly, blowing a strand of hair out of your face.

“Yes you can, come on, I’ll take care of the dishes.”

“No, Thomas won’t like that.”

Thomas... the absolute bane of Bucky’s existence. Thomas.... the new husband with a corporate job who always works too late, never able to do so much as help his depressed wife with the fucking dishes.

Thomas is a piece of shit is what Bucky wants to say. But he doesn’t. Now is not the time to be arguing about your new relationship. You two have had that conversation before and it didn’t really go in Bucky’s favor.

“Y/n, honey, it’s just dishes. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Bucky turns off the water and you don’t even have enough energy to fight him.

He hands you a towel to try your hands on while he turns out the kitchen lights.

He let’s you walk up the stairs first, slowly following in behind you. You both can hear the water running in the bathroom from Benny brushing his teeth.

The water turns off as you reach the top step and the little boy you both love more than anything in this world proudly steps out of the bathroom and into the hallway. His big blue eyes shinning and a smile on his face.

“Look Daddy! I put on my jammies on too!”

Bucky beams at him “good job buddy! Go on to bed and I’ll be in there in a second to read you a book.”

“And Mommy?” Benny asks with a grin.

Bucky could practically hear the incessant voices in your head screaming at you. He knew the struggle it had become to even spend time with your son, and how much it pained you to feel that way when your whole heart belonged to him mere months ago.

Bucky had always been a present father in Benny’s life, even after your breakup. He’s never missed a game or a birthday party. These past 5 years, he’s fully devoted his life to his son as much as he could and you never stopped him.

Your break up was mutual. Sometimes people just don’t work out. Neither of you wanted your son to grow up in a house full of arguing. During your time together you both had said some pretty hurtful things, all in passion of loving the other one too much. But you were young, too young to have a kid and too young to be making the decision of who you’d spend forever with.

You took primary custody of Bennet, moving back in with your parents. They didn’t like Bucky very much, but they’ve grown a civil relationship after they saw how good of a father he was.

Bucky sees Bennet probably just as much as you do during the week. You take turns dropping him off at school and picking him up. Bennet has his own room at the garage and you know he loves his room there more than here. Bucky helps with school projects and volunteers for things at PTA fundraisers. He’s very popular with the moms, they practically drool over him but Bucky’s too busy enjoying his son to even notice them, half of the time.

Maybe that’s why you were so trusting when it came to Thomas. Bucky had never not been a good dad, and it must have made you naive to the world because when you met Thomas, your heart eyes instantly turned into rose colored glasses and you married him after a year. Bennet was 3.

At first, Thomas was really great with Bennet... well that’s what you would say but if you asked Bucky he was “doing the bare minimum to sleep with you”

You would just brush him off when he brought up Thomas and all things he didn’t like about him. Maybe it was selfish and careless of you but you wanted to believe he was good.

1 year later, you started trying for a baby. You were ecstatic, and even Bucky was happy for you. You were a great mom, and you and Thomas seemed to be doing really well in your relationship.

That was until you actually got pregnant 6 months ago. At first, Thomas was happy but soon you became a chore to him.

He was distant and neglectful.

All you could think about was how attentive and nurturing Bucky was when you were pregnant with Benny. Making you dinner every night, elevating your feet when your ankles would swell and even helping you bathe sometimes. You were his angel.

Bucky wasn’t surprised when you had first mentioned Thomas’s change in behavior. And yeah, maybe venting to your baby daddy/ex boyfriend about your current husband wasn’t the best idea but you didn’t seem to have many friends anymore. Thomas always gave you a reason to not like them or not trust them, so it was easier to just not have any.

Bucky was the only one he couldn’t convince you to cut off and even if he could, you have a child together so you would have to interact eventually. Maybe that’s what Thomas hates Bucky so much.

You never seemed to notice the tension between the two, but Bucky certainly didn’t shy away from it. Bucky was an intimidating guy. He’s all motorcycles, buzzcut, tattoos, chains and jeans while Thomas is more “I get my suits custom tailored.”

But even through all the bad things you had told Bucky about Thomas, you could usually defend him for most of his actions... it was bullshit reasons in Bucky’s opinion but he tried to keep the peace.

Until recently. For the past three months Bucky had been daring Thomas to show his face around him again. He wanted to fucking pummel him into the ground.

Not after what Bucky witnessed. The look on your face when you woke up in the ambulance, screaming and crying.

Thomas knew your pain and chose to ignore it. Ignore you, Bucky’s whole world.

Bucky can remember the moment it happened, three months ago.

You and Bucky had been with Benny at a school fair. It was October, so it was time for the annual Fall Fest. Bucky had volunteered to stand in line with Benny and ride all the rides with him, while you enjoyed your funnel cake from the bench. You had been getting motion sick easily since you got pregnant, so rides were out of the question.

Thomas had originally suggested you just let Bucky take Benny to the fair while you stayed home and waited for him to get back from a business dinner.

Despite how demeaning he sounded, you just smiled and declined the suggestion, saying “I won’t get to do many things like this when the baby gets here, plus I wanna spend time with Benny before he thinks he’s too cool for me.” You giggled gleefully and Thomas just rolled his eyes.

But despite Thomas’s pleas, you were still here, sitting at the small school fair watching your boys hop from ride to ride.

“Let’s go check on mommy, before we do another ride.” Bucky said to his son as they exited the large metal ride.

“Okay!” Benny agrees. You had always wished he agreed with you the same way he did Bucky but you could except that he thought Bucky was cooler than you.

You smiled as Benny raced towards you, past his dad. He sat down next to you and stole a piece of your funnel cake, getting powder all over his mouth.

“Are you okay? Daddy said we should check on you!” He says using the nonexistent filter from his brain to his mouth.

You giggle at his honesty and nod. “I’m feeling just fine, Benny.”

Bucky called bullshit almost immediately. Your voice sounded strange and you seemed weak as you held the plate in front of you. You looked wobbly.

You knew Bucky was basically a human lie detector, so you glanced at him with a smile trying to hide your lightheadedness.

“How about I get us some water?”

“I want a slushie!” Benny squirmed next to you.

“Okay Bud, you got it!” Bucky says as he walks towards the concession stand.

He’s not even in line yet when he hears “mommy wake up!” He whips his head back towards Benny’s small, panicked voice. “Daddy! Mommy won’t wake up!”

Bucky’s running back towards the two of you. You’re slouched to the side, eyes closed and poor Benny is desperately trying to hold your dead weight up.

Bucky reaches you, sitting you up and diligently looking you over, and that’s when he noticed the red blotch covering the inside of your thighs. You were bleeding.

A commotion of bystanders quickly formed around them, and someone was already on the phone with emergency services.

Benny cried and Bucky died a little inside.

It was a scary night. Benny had refused to leave your side since they allowed visitors in your hospital room. Bucky had been sitting outside in the waiting area with Benny while your new husband, Thomas, was perched up by your bedside, pretending to be the concerned lover.

At first Bucky was focused on comforting Benny. But the calmer Benny got, Bucky finally let himself feel everything his heart had been trying to feel since the fairgrounds.

A nurse noticed his distressed state and took him to get his blood pressure taken. They gave him some food and crackers to settle the nauseous look on his face.

It mostly helped, and Benny thought the machine they used was cool, so it was a small victory for the otherwise completely dreadful day.

Bucky never got to come back and see you.

Thomas had taken Benny back, saying “she’s just too overwhelmed to see anyone right now.”

Bucky was distressed but he understood. As long as you were doing better then it was okay if he didn’t get to see you. He wouldn’t dare be that selfish.

Now, it was 3 months later and you had refused to talk about it. Bucky assumed you were finding solace in Thomas but he would be very wrong.

You had tried to express your feelings to your husband but he seemed to be indifferent about the subject and blame you for his “pain” at the same time.

So you kept to yourself, filling your day with busy tasks until the doctor cleared you to go back to work.

You hadn’t had any appetite since that day so you’ve dropped quite a lot of weight. Bucky always made sure you ate when he came over. Thomas seemed to appreciate your new, barely fed physique. Again, Bucky wanted to pummel him.

“Mommy?” Benny asked again, confused by your silence.

Bucky reached out and grabbed your hand, grounding you a bit. He gave it a slight squeeze of encouragement.

“Yeah sweetie, mommy will be there too.” You said, blinking away a few tears.

Benny ran back into his room with a new excitement.

Bucky takes you to your bedroom where he helps you change, brush your hair and gently wash your face. He notices a few silent tears slipping out of your eyes by doesn’t mention it, he just wipes them away.

When your skincare is done and your teeth are brushed, he pulls you into a hug and you sigh with a bit of relief.

Even the smell of him brings you comfort.

You suddenly feel a lot more relaxed and ready to cuddle with your son. Bucky didn’t know it, but you’ve been putting a lot of your self care on the back burner since you lost the baby. It all seems obsolete and time consuming, and your dreaded it everyday.

And without even asking Bucky noticed your distress, took care of you, and even remembered your skincare routine.

“Bucky would do that for anyone in my situation” is what you tell yourself. But Bucky knows and Thomas knows that Bucky still loves you, and he would do anything for you. He would be anything for you, even if you never wanted him as anything more than a friend. He would always be here. There was nowhere else he’d rather be.

You sighed and lifted your head from his chest. “Benny’s waiting, and he’s been really excited to show you the new books he got at school.” You smiled. It didn’t quite reach your eyes but it seemed genuine, and Bucky could bask in the little bit of joy you were expressing for just a moment. You hadn’t done that in so long.

“Y/n, you can go to bed, I’m sure Benny will understand.”

“No, Bucky. He’s just a kid, he shouldn’t have to understand what his mom is going through. And I’ll be damned if I let it affect my relationship with him anymore.” You pulled away, turning out the bathroom light. “Plus, I really like when we all spend time together as a family.”

Family. Bucky smiled. “Yeah me too.”

You followed in tow behind Bucky, as you stepped into Benny’s room.

You settled in on the right side of Benny’s bed, and Bucky was on the left. Benny was cutely wedged between the two of you.

For about 15 minutes, Bucky held one end of the book while you held the other, flipping the pages. Bucky read to Benny, per Benny’s request, and you would make all the sound effects the way you use to when he was littler.

Soon, you heard snoring and You and Bucky both chuckle at the sight. Benny was passed out. Hair in all kinds of directions, mouth open and drool on his chin.

“I guess tv nights with dad aren’t for the faint of heart.” You teased.

Bucky laughed quietly as he turned off the bedside lamp.

“Yeah, the Where’s Waldo puzzles got pretty wild.” He gave you a look and you giggled.

You both sat in silence, enjoying the presence of your sleeping kid.

“Bucky?” you whispered over Benny’s head.

“What?” He whispered back, looking at you in the moonlight that was peaking through Benny’s curtains.

“Thank you.” You said simply. You knew Bucky assumed you were saying thank you for taking care of you earlier tonight, but you meant it in so many ways for so many things, you couldn’t even count.

“You don’t have to thank me, Malyshka, you would do it for me.” He says softly, reaching his metal hand over and brushing some hair behind your ear.

Tonight was the most physical affection you’ve gotten in nearly 5 months, and you could feel yourself getting emotional. But you didn’t cry. You haven’t cried since that first night, it’s all seemed to dry up.

You smiled at Bucky, but he didn’t miss the sadness in your eyes.

Bucky’s hand dropped from your ear onto Benny’s pajama clad stomach. His metal arm always cooled down Benny while he slept.

A few moments passed, just the two of you listening to Benny’s snores. You had been so quiet that Bucky could have sworn you were asleep, until he heard you mutter something.

“He asked me what I was making for dinner.” It almost sounded like a confession.

Bucky didn’t know what to say because he was a bit confused, but he locked eyes with you and it encouraged you to continue.

You peered down to make sure Benny was really asleep before you unfolded yourself from the bed, cueing Bucky to do the same. He pressed a kiss to Benny’s head before following you out the door. You say at the top of the stairs waiting for Bucky to join you, and when he did, you continued.

“Thomas. The night I lost the baby, while I was in the hospital. He asked me what I was cooking for dinner, because he was hungry. And he said he was hungry because I made him miss his business dinner.”

Bucky could feel his blood boiling at the sound of you broken voice. Bucky never knew what happened in your hospital room. He was only mad at Thomas for not allowing you to have a funeral, like you had expressed you wanted to do. Bucky had never seen you in that kind of pain until that day, sitting in the back of the ambulance with you while you screamed and cried. You had no idea what to do, and once you had settled down, you expressed your desire to have a funeral for the baby. The only thing you asked for and Thomas vetoed it like some kind of law maker in your life. “It’s a waste of time and money”, he said.

“Y/n, honey, I know you don’t like me saying this, but Thomas is fucking asshole.” Bucking whispered the last words extra quiet incase little ears decided to wake up at any second.

You didn’t even argue, you just sighed and said “I just don’t wanna lose again.” You voice was so weak.

“Lose?”

“I lost you, I lost my baby, I almost lost Benny because I’m so depressed. I can’t lose anything else Bucky, no matter what it is. I can’t take another loss.”

“Baby, you didn’t lose me.” And yeah, maybe Bucky should cool it with the pet names for his ex-girlfriend/baby-mama who’s remarried, but he can’t. You are his baby, his honey, his sweetheart, his malyshka. There’s no one else who’d take your place, in a million years.

“I lost you way before we split, you know that.” You exhaled.

“No, Honey-” Bucky started but you interrupted him.

“Stop calling me those names.” You said sternly.

“Why?” He was taken aback.

“Because I like when you call me them but I’m not your honey, no matter how much I want to be.” You admitted involuntarily.

“You want to be?” Bucky couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Of course I do Bucky. You were always my first choice.” You affirm his growing heart. He takes a second to bask in your confession before he realizes you’re probably just saying this out of emotional frustration.

“As much as I love hearing that, you have a husband, y/n. You never married me. You chose him.” Bucky wasn’t saying it in an accusatory, but more like trying to point it out to you.

“I have a husband on paper. A husband that won’t even touch me, or kiss me. He just wants me to sit and wait for him. He doesn’t love me, he loves that I let him control me.” You say, dropping your eyes in shame. “And as for you. I didn’t marry you because you were already married to the club. What we had was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love and I was ready to give up everything for you. I did, and you already gave up so much for me. I couldn’t ask you to give up the club too.”

“Y/n, if you asked me to, I would give it up right now just to sit at your feet until you called for me. I would sell everything I own just to wake up to you every morning. Y/n, you have no idea how much power you have over me, and yeah maybe it’s a little unhealthy but I’ve never trusted anyone with life the way I trust you because I know I can. I trust you enough to trust you.”

Your eyes were glossy and you could feel yourself getting torn up inside so you decided to lighten the mood.

“Not even Dot?”

Bucky’s heart melted all over again when he saw your teasing grin and mischievous eyes.

He laughs and says “she sure was crazy wasn’t she?”

You smiled bigger and nodded. Bucky sighs, looking over at you picking at your fingers, nervously.

“I’d give up everything for you and Benny. I just don’t wanna mess it up. Benny’s old enough to know now. Just the other day, he asked me why Thomas and I weren’t talking. He asked if we got into a fight.” You breathed out with some stress to your voice.

“Parents fight all the time, y/n. We’ll handle it as it comes. You’re an amazing mom, I can’t imagine you can screw it up too terribly.” Bucky chuckles, happy when he gets a smile from you.

“You’re an amazing dad too, Bucky.” You compliment him and he bashfully grins as he looks down.

He glances back up to see you still looking at him. You both lock eyes and there’s a tension lingering in the air from your sudden emotional conversation.

You don’t know when but you find yourselves leaning into each other but Bucky stops you.

“I’m sorry, y/n. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing than kissing you. But I don’t want you to regret it. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it the right way. We’ll wait until you’re divorced. I just know you’ll beat yourself up over it if you don’t and I don’t want it to become something Thomas can hold over your head.”

A smile replaced your confused face. You brushed a hand over his. He knew you so well, always trying to protect you.

“You’re right. And since we’re making demands,”

“I wasn’t demanding you” he laughs at your exaggeration.

You don’t miss a beat while continuing. “I wanna real house. Not the garage. A small house that’s white and has a front porch swing.”

Bucky chuckles at your eagerness. “Whatever you want you will get.”

You squeeze Bucky’s hand. “I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve missed you so much baby. I love you, I never stopped.” Bucky kisses your hand.

“I love you, never stopped.”

message in a bottle

a/n: sadness, anger, breakups; and words, lots of it. this was inspired by a couple of new songs i've heard, and you can find them in a playlist i linked below! as usual... comments and love are much appreciated <3

in which singer!y/n leaves five messages on her new album for her ex-boyfriend, charles leclerc. 

masterlist here! | playlist here

"mate! did you see?" pierre opened the door to his best friend's apartment, eyes glued to the screen as he set the borrowed clothing items down. 

charles looked up from the piano score to him, "see what?" 

"razzo's new album, she just put it out last week." charles stared blankly at pierre. he hadn't heard your nickname on such a long time, it almost didn't register to his brain. but of course, how could the universe let him forget about you? 

his razzo. his little sky rocket. the nickname you'd gotten from his grandma the first time you visited monaco. and it stuck ever since then. 

"do you want to listen to it?" pierre asked.

charles felt like a deer caught in headlights. because he in fact, did really want to listen to the sound of your voice again, but will he ever admit to it? 

"no- no, no. there isn't a need to." 

"are you sure?" pierre asked again. charles nodded, distracting himself by arranging the score sheet that sat perfectly on the piano. 

"okay, i'm just dropping these off. gotta go." 

the door closes, and charles takes out his phone immediately, typing your name into the search bar on instagram. of course, you pop up almost instantly, and charles doesn't hesitate before clicking on your name. 

his heart flutters when he sees the first picture on your feed. a picture of you smiling from ear to ear, champagne in your hand - classic album release picture; 

thereal_y/n: more than a million streams in two days. you guys are unreal! 

he reads the congratulatory messages in the comments, scrolling through all your mutual friends until he stops by one that catches his eye. 

fans_ofy/n: tell me that cover isn't of monaco?

there's a flurry of other comments following it, and charles couldn't help but to continue scrolling through. 

then he sees it in the next post. 

the title of the EP - message in a bottle. it was in your handwriting, covering the center of a picture which made charles gasp. that picture. the one he was all too familiar with. the one you took using your film camera in the summer of 2019 - the sunset in monaco, with charles back view being the focal point of it all. 

his heart nearly plummets to the ground.

this is why pierre asked if he wanted to listen.

now charles couldn't help but to click on the link in your bio, which led straight to the album on spotify. twenty tracks. ten of which were your voice notes. 

he connects his phone to the bluetooth speakers, and pressed play. 

go the distance - 

"ahhh the opening of an ep. it has to be a banger, right?" you chuckle, "i wrote this a couple of years back when i was in a long distance relationship. It was tough, the both of us having to travel the world for our jobs, we hardly got to see each other." 

charles had to hit pause, the sound of your voice too shocking to his system. he covers his mouth with his hand. you sounded so soft, so gentle, like the calm in the absolute chaos of the world. he pressed play.

"and even if we did, it was usually only for a couple of days. it was rough, being so far from the one you loved, but i knew that deep down it was always worth to hold on, because we were so good, and we had the chance of going the distance."

it goes silent for two seconds, before jumping to the tune he knew all too well.

deep down i know, we'll go the distance. charles knew every word to that song. the familiar melody echoing through his house all those years before. hell, he had that song even before it was put together like this. the raw vocals, the squeaking of guitar chords was all he could remember. the way you both slow danced in the kitchen to the stripped down version of it. 

he knew the meaning behind every word, the story each line held. it felt like a cruel trip down memory lane, the silhouettes of you and him now floating around the apartment you once shared with him. it was your song with him - yknow the one that every couple has? yeah, this was it.

it wasn't long before the three minutes and forty seconds are up, and the song ends, allowing your voice to come through the speakers again. 

heart won't let me -

"now this one," you sigh, "it's a complete switch of moods, a switch in timeline. go the distance was very much at the start of a relationship, when you think everything would work; but then comes heart won't let me, which shows how things don't work. how you're constantly arguing about the same things over and over again. how you struggle to work things out with your partner and you should probably leave but your heart doesn't allow you to." 

charles heart squeezes at your words. it went back to you and him, standing in this very apartment, arguing about something he didn't remember - 

"why the fuck are we doing this, charles?" you stand, back pressed against the counter top, your arms folded in front of you. 

charles rubs his face with his hand, "i don't know! you're the one making a big fuss out of it." 

"yeah because you promised to come to the show, charles! my parents, friends, they were all there, excited to see you again-" 

"i had a bad race, y/n. forgive me if i didn't want to entertain your people." he said sarcastically. 

"then maybe i should leave." you mutter. you grab your keys, one hand on the door, but charles grabs your arm, pulling you towards him. he closes the gap between the two of you, resting his head on top of yours, whispering softly, 

"no, don't go." 

tears now ran down his face, and he wipes them with the back of his hand. everytime i try, everytime i try to leave, my heart won't let me.

"fuck me," he pauses the song, grabbing a beer from the fridge that he shouldn't be drinking. he scrolls through the tracks, reading each one of the titles. but it doesn't give him much hints, or any form of preempt for his heart. 

the next song plays. 

what a time -

"what a time - this one has got to be my favourite. it literally came about with one chord and one phrase from me. ahaha, we were in the studio pretty soon after my breakup, and mikey just looked at me, asking why i looked so grim. he was playing a chord over and over again and i told him about my breakup, about everything." 

"fuck." charles mutters, taking another swig from the bottle. he didn't know if he could take it. not hearing your voice for six months straight, and he's now listened to it for ten minutes.

"but yeah, this is about a night i had with someone. we were in belgium, it was literally in the middle of the night-" you laugh breathlessly, "we sat in a park and talked for hours upon hours about our future. and when i look back at it now i just think - what a time, yknow?"

"mmm, and i thought it would be good to have a male perspective of things; because breakups or relationships, they always involve two people, and i wanted to hear the other side, his side of things. that's how niall came into the picture. we wrote this, pretty much in twenty minutes? now i'm just rambling, haha- hope you guys like this one as much as i do." 

charles holds on to the neck of the beer bottle so tightly that his knuckles turn white. i admit that i think about it sometimes. your voice start to turn into white noise.

you both sat on a park bench at 2AM in the morning, just after the belgium gp. charles head was in your lap, your hand massaging his scalp. the air was cool, and quiet; the perfect setting for the both of you.

"how many kids should we have?" charles asked.

"i want two, at least."

"a boy and a girl?" you nod.

"where should we raise them?"

"monaco." you stated simply. he sat up to face you, "not in the states? or france - where your parents are?"

"oh never in the states. i live there because of my job, and besides, france is literally a stones throw away from monaco- we can decide when the time comes, love." you smile, cuddling into his arms.

irrational anger bubbles in his chest - who was this niall? and who the fuck is he to give his perspective on a breakup that he wasn't even involved in? what a lie, what a lie. charles disconnected his phone from the speakers and put in his airpods.

he needed to get out of here before he drowned in painful memories.

when you lose someone -

the elevator ride down seemed to last a lot longer than he remembered.

"more sad ballads...i probably should put a warning on this thing."

"this is about losing someone that you love. well to be honest, it was meant for my grandma, the light of my life that i lost last year. but in between then and the million things happening, the song got morphed into losing the love of your life. and yeah- i, i think it speaks for itself." 

your voice echoes in his brain now, fogging his mind. and he doesn't realise that pierre, his every loving best friend, was waiting downstairs. charles stops right in front of him, and the dejected look on his face tells pierre everything he needed to know.

"you listened to it?" pierre was stating the obvious. he knew charles would listen to it. he knew he didn't have the control to stop himself. he knew he still cared.

"i'm left with the last two." charles tells him.

"give me the keys."

"you're not driving my-" 

"then we'll take my car," pierre readily unlocks the honda. charles didn't protest, climbing into the passengers seat. 

he connects his phone to the speakers in the car, and the song plays while pierre drives into the night. It feels like a Ferrari racing. pierre hears the lyric, his eyes darting to his friend who's expression falters just slightly. he wants to press the radio button, but charles swats his hand away.

"maybe this was a bad idea." pierre mutters.

charles just looks out of the window, the skyline of monaco passing him, "just drive, please." 

he had to listen to it all, he had to know how much he hurt you. 

"maybe we should break up."

"excuse me?"

you had been arguing over the last ten minutes, over something so minuscule it was ridiculous. charles had had a bad race weekend, and you, well you had just lost your grandmother. the both of you in the worst frame of mind possible.

but you hadn't expected him to say those words.

"maybe i should leave." charles repeats. you frown, trying to close the gap between the both of you but he moves away. you knew the words were no longer an empty threat. they held weight; very heavy, heavy weight.

"why are you doing this, charles?"

"its for your sake, y/n." he couldn't even look you in the eye when he spoke.

"bullshit. don't put this on me when you stopped fighting for us. you stopped loving me."

"i love you, razzo."

"then why now? why after the funeral? why at my lowest, at my breaking point did you decide it was right to break up with me?!" you screamed so loud, charles was afraid the entire family was going to barge into the room.

"because i can't do this anymore, mon ange. but i promise-" he reaches to grab your hand, but you pull away quickly.

"get the fuck out of my sight."

charles takes a huge inhale, and pierre is at the verge of muting the radio. when you lose somebody you love. the hardest thing i've ever had to learn.

"charles-"

"pierre, please. just let me listen." but pierre hits the pause button on the speakers, stopping at a red light. he turns to his best friend.

"i have to tell you something." charles nods slowly, looking into his friend's eyes,

"she's in monaco."

time freezes for him. pierre doesn't have a choice but to turn back to the steering wheel and keep driving when the light changes. he sat in silence, unable to play the last voice note, the last song. the car pulls to a stop at a building, one that charles knew all too well.

and they let the next track play.

come back home 

"come back home," you sigh, "if you haven’t noticed, i wrote this for him." you pause, "this entire EP, from start to finish was a message for him. for us. i don't know. i thought alot about it, before i released this EP. i thought about the consequences of my actions and words. but the more i let these songs sit with me in a closet, the worse i felt. so i decided to release this, as a message in a bottle. you know? like the ones that you find at the beach? i don't know if it only happens in movies but yeah. this is for the both of us, for him, if he ever listens - to come back home."

from the outside, it wasn't clear who he was, because god knows you had your share of exes. but charles knew.

pretending that we don't care, but tension cuts the air. you never stopped caring. in fact, you cared more than ever. getting regular updates from the rest of the drivers on the grid about charles. watching every race, every interview, just to get a glimpse of him.

"why don't you ask him yourself, razzo?"

"we're not together anymore, pierre." you paced around your apartment in LA, the 2021 abu dhabi gp podium ceremony playing in the background.

"but you obviously still care." pierre sighs.

"i never stopped caring, pierre. charles was the one that left, remember?"

charles finally had the courage to speak, "she's up there?"

"she's with daniel and lando. but they're on their way back, if you want to see her."

he nods. hell, what do I know where you and I go? damn it, I hope you come back home.

both of them had gotten out of the car, resting on its hood in a comfortable silence until they hear a commotion.

they turn their attention to the noise, and there you stood, in all your glory. laughing at something the boys had said, arms linked with the both of them as you strut down the pavement. lando nudged you to the direction of the two drivers.

your breath is caught in your throat.

charles' heart races.

daniel and lando take the hint, unlooping their arms from yours, bidding you goodbye. charles had to admit that you looked amazing - dress hugging your curves in all the right ways, your hair cut till your shoulders, the way it framed your face so well. oh, how he missed you.

pierre pushes him forward, and they make their way towards you; giving small waves to the mclaren drivers as they leave.

"hi razzo," pierre hugs you, "hi pierre."

he pats you on the shoulder, then charles, and they exchange something in french before he leaves.

leaving you alone, with him.

you laugh nervously, "guess you listened?"

"razzo-"

"charles-"

"ladies first," charles chuckled. it felt too real.

"would you like to come up? for a coffee?" you gestured to the lobby of your apartment, "i really just want to get these heels off."

charles nodded, following you up to your home. he operates on autopilot, taking off his shoes, then kneeling on the ground to help with the straps of your heels-

"charles..." you breathe out, a pained expression on your face. then he panics. he pulls his hand away from your ankles, standing up quickly. you hurry to unbuckle the straps on your own, padding towards the kitchen.

"water, coffee, tea or beer?" you peek from behind from the fridge door.

"water." charles replies. you hand him a bottle, settling for a beer for yourself. it was awkward, standing in an apartment with your ex, after releasing an entire album for him- to him.

"razzo. i- i je suis désolé. i'm sorry." charles sighs, sinking his forehead into his hands. you squeeze his forearm, a sad look on your face.

"je ne trouve pas les mots" i can't find the words. he tells you.

"then use your actions."

it almost felt like a taunt, as if you were mocking him. but charles took his shot, leaning forward and kissing you softly. something that he had been yearning to do the day you packed up your bags and left. and you let him, gave him permission to continue. his hand cupped your face softly, and he could taste the same strawberry chapstick on your lips.

he pulls away first, forehead still pressed against yours.

"pas besoin de s'excuser," no need to be sorry, you finally tell him. you caress his cheek with your thumb, "i'm just glad you got the message."

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