That Feeling When Both Halves Of Your Inner Monologue Are Perfectly Cast

That feeling when both halves of your inner monologue are perfectly cast

I just really really love this post, y'all. Like, so much. <3

Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?

Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.

It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.

I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.

If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.

Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.

In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.

Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.

This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.

If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.

In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.

the moon is a lesbian and she hates terfs

I loved this moment because of the way it shows Eddie's and Dulcie's different feelings about the situation. Because it's not exactly that they suspect Mike of being the killer because they suspect he's gay; but on the other hand it sort of is, that's not not happening. It's muddy. And it feels to me like Dulcie's reluctance to suspect Mike isn't only because she knows him and likes him -- it's also because of this. Because Dulcie's deeply uncomfortable with feeling like Mike possibly being gay is what is making them consider him as a suspect.

There's a way that this moment in particular really highlights Eddie's and Dulcie's different relationships to queerness, I feel. Eddie's done stuff. Dulcie OTOH has seen some shit, and her friends have seen some shit, and she knows exactly what kind of cop she doesn't ever want to be (the kind who targets queers).

And at the same time it also highlights their different approaches to detective work, because there's also a way that Eddie can see the situation clearly while Dulcie struggles to. What matters to Eddie is that Mike might have had a reason to be full of rage and bitterness toward the victims. Part of that is definitely that Dulcie lives here and has a personal relationship to Mike and Eddie does not, but I think another part of it is that Eddie has been doing detective work longer.

This show is just so well-written and I love it <3

I love this fucking show