Sorry If Its Weird- I Just Got Out Of A Toxic Relationship And Have Been Absolutely LIVING! For The Hazbin
sorry if its weird- I just got out of a toxic relationship and have been absolutely LIVING! for the Hazbin and Helluva boss boys being sweet! Could you maybe do something like ideal dates they would do with a reader? Anything really- just in the genre of like 'cute little scenarios you'd make up before falling asleep'
ps loved your alastor headcannon <3
Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss boys' ideal dates (part 1)
Sum: Where they would prefer to spend their time with you as a date.
Characters included: Alastor, Lucifer, Angel Dust, Blitzø, Stolas, Moxie
Warnings: none, it's just fluff, except for like, three curse words and Angel Dust's job (I've put a note on where that part starts). Reader is gender neutral, if I have missed a pronoun here or there please let me know.
Alastor
Alastor lived in the 1930s. That’s all that needs to be said. A really classy dinner in the most expensive restaurant there is, with low lights and candles. And live music. Oh, the live music. Hell might be a filthy place, but the songs are… well… heavenly. You chat and laugh and eat with the soft sound of the sax playing in the background, the Imp on the stage singing “Somewhere over the rainbow” in a sensual voice. Once you finish eating, Alastor gets up and goes over to the stage. He says something to the musicians and they start playing a quicker rhythm, which you quickly recognize to be one of the most popular dances in the 30’s, called the jive. And you’re not surprised when your date offers you his hand and guides you to the dancing floor.
After a long night, you two go for a walk outside, chatting mainly about the Hotel. You tell him that you believe in redemption, and he finds it foolish, yet adorable. After that, the conversation gets deeper. You talk about secret hopes and regrets, about your lives on earth, what you would have done differently. It’s the first time Alastor is being this open with someone, and you know it. Your date ends with him walking you back to your hotel room and kissing your hand gently, before he wishes goodnight and walks away with one of his few real smiles.
Lucifer
Lucifer gets easily bored- no, tired with all the “King of Hell” bullshit. After all, he’s just a father whose wife recently dumped him. And at first it was really hard for you two to get close, him being afraid you would leave him like everyone else did. You’re not that kind of person, and he knows that now. Still, going out can sometimes be too much for him. All the Sinners and Hellborn running the moment they see him, it makes him feel more lonely, even with you by his side.
So he prefers to stay at home. You two make something to eat, like pancakes (they’re his favorite, trust me). As you eat, you start talking about anything and everything- except ducks, that’s a sensitive subject. The conversation will most likely end with Lucifer showing you some old album with photos of him playing with Charlie when she was a child. After you finish eating, you cuddle on the couch, watching TV. He ends up falling asleep in your arms (you’re the big spoon and I’m not negotiating over that), your fingers caressing his blonde hair.
Angel Dust
Before you proceed, I would like to note that this work includes mentions of Angel Dust’s job. If this kind of content is triggering for you, I would suggest reading only the second paragraph.
Angel’s job is a great part of his life. He might hate it because of Valentino but it is what he does best. So of course he wants to show you his talent- pole dancing. The best place to do that is a famous club near the Hotel (one that Valentino doesn’t go to often.) The owner is more than happy to have the famous Angel Dust dancing exclusively in their business, even if it is only for one night. The show starts, and Angel dedicates the night to you, making all the sinners turn around to see the one that stole the pornstar’s heart. The Spider Demon doesn’t fail to make you blush repeatedly during the show, teasing you openly, in a way you haven’t seen before, not even in his movies.
After the performance ends, you’re too shy to even talk to him, a situation that ends with huge amounts of laughing from both of you. After that you go for a walk outside, and probably have some takeout, because, well, Charlie decided that four times a week the Hotel will be serving boiled vegetables for dinner, “so everyone can stay healthy”, and it isn’t exactly the ideal food for a day. You two end up dancing in the music of some other club in the city, hidden from all eyes. Angel is amazed with the fact that you can enjoy something as simple as that. When you finally head back to the hotel, he replays the sweet moments over and over again in his head and that’s maybe one of the first times he’s blushed from something like that.
Stolas
When I say Stolas has money, I mean you couldn't spend one milionth of it in this lifetime, even if you wanted. He's used to paying for everything, so he really doesn't mind you choosing where you want to go- even if it is the most expensive place in Hell. He has a small panick attack on what he should wear, poor thing hasn't been to a date since, well, forever. He is extremely nervous when he comes to pick you up, but quickly relaxes when you start a conversation. The place is absolutely adorable after all you chose it, and the food is really delicious. Well, I don't have to say much, it's your typical ideal date.
After you two finish eating, you go to the Owl Demon's house (or castle I don't think something that huge is a house). You stand at the balcony for a long time, gazing at the stars, occasionally making a comment on astronomy (after you found out about Stolas' obsession with celestial objects you made your own research). The moments are truly blissful, and when he takes your hand and guides you inside, it's the most sweet thing you have ever seen- he doesn't want anything but you close to him, to feel you scent as he wraps his hands around your waist, burying his face in your neck, trying to get as much of you as possible. Not in a naughty sort of way. Just you, him, and the stars.
Blitzø
Blitz simply doesn't have the time. Don't mistake me, he loves you, but his job is taking up most his days and even with Moxie and Millie's help, he barely manages. He always finds a way to be with you if not daily, three or four times a week. Sometimes you just visit the I.M.P. "facility" and tidy up a bit while he's away, maybe make lunch for everyone and hang out with Loona, who surprisingly thinks you're a very cool person. Sometimes you join him in his little "adventures" in the human world, after all it's a great workout and you have to keep fit.
If Blitz actually finds some time to spend with you exclusively, it will either be eating snacks, cuddling on the couch with him complaining about work. Or. The most extreme fucking thing you ever imagined, like, extreme sports or something. The Imp loves the adrenaline in his veins, and you do too, once you get used to it. After all you'd do anything to spend time with the man you fell in love with. You're a bit dazed afterwards but for some reason he loves seeing you tripping around.
Moxie
Moxie is what you'd call a lovebird. The stereotype one. He buys you flowers and escorts you to the car, putting a rose in your hair or something like that. His suit is literally perfect and you wonder how many times he must have ironed it before he came to your place. Moxie is nervous. Really really nervous. He wants everything to be perfect, but once you reassure him, telling him that everything will be perfect just because you two are together he finally gets to relax. As he drives you there, you constantly ask where you're going (he only told you to dress classy and he's not disappointed with the results), but he doesn't tell you anything. "It's a surprise, you'll like it, I promise". The place is absolutely gorgeous but you can't help but wonder how much it cost... But Moxie's got you covered.
It's the ideal date. And gosh you have so much to talk about. When it ends (the Imp implies every four seconds that there will be more), the moment finds you standing in front of your house door, starting into each others eyes. Because in Hell, you found a soulmate.
That's all for now! I'm sorry that it's too short, I didn't have more time with my upcoming exams. I promise there will be a lot more though! I'm already working on a part two.
The characters that will be included are: Husker, Vox, Valentino, Adam, Sir Pentious, Fizzarolli, Striker.
If you want me to add any more, feel free to ask.
My requests are closed at the moment, regarding anything else. I will open them again around mid or end of March, though it's not sure yet.
Thanks for reading!
-Selena
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More Posts from Arcanumofthestars
POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS PRT.7
07 : APOLOGIES & COMFORT
CHPT. SUM. : sirius and remus are both very stubborn and need you to help them make amends, thankfully james is there
REQUEST. : could i request a hurt/comfort blurb with poly!marauders in the heroes in tattoos series where r is having really bad cramps and they comfort her- maybe when they're busy with clients and she doesn't want to disturb them but they notice? - requested by an anon (i had to make some tweaks, i hope you don't mind, my darling)
TAGS. : modern au, muggle au, tattoo artist!sirius black ; tattoo artist!james potter ; piercer!remus lupin ; hurt/comfort ; fluff ; mvp james ; james becomes a menace though so is he really the mvp? ; wolfstar fluff ; making up ; reader is also an mvp ; accidents happen ; period things~ ; remus is on the brink ; somebody save this man! ; no! somebody save reader from this man! ; assumes that reader does not take medication to regulate her periods ; assumes that reader wears sanitary pads for her periods
LENGTH : 4.3k
← PREV. : 06 | SELFISH DESIRES | SERIES M.LIST

“Sirius…” Remus sighs as he sits across from you and the man in question.
“If you have a problem, I hope you know that I don’t care,” you feel the tattooist smirk against your temple as he presses another searing kiss into your skin. The tension from the room hasn’t fully dissipated yet, however, most of the fiction was swept aside leaving the air clear enough for a more civil conversation.
With Sirius’ insistence, you were left no choice but to sit in his lap as Remus sits across from you. This left James to sit all on his lonesome, occupying the grandfather chair to your left as a warm smile reveals his asymmetrical dimple, directed solely at you.
Remus groans in frustration and stands to his full height in order to pull his sleeveless sweater off. Sirius peppers light kisses along the column of your neck but it isn’t quite enough to distract you from the image of Remus undoing the top buttons of his button-up shirt nor the way he rolls up the sleeves to his elbows - a weak attempt at trying to cool down from the heat of the previous encounter.
You’re tempted to look down once again but are too embarrassed to do so; the images that pervade your mind are too inappropriate and they taint the gentle and kind image you have of Remus… Although, maybe that isn’t too bad. A gentle giant masking an indelicate second face was quite attractive in your eyes. Maybe he’ll finally suit the rouge-ish image that comes to mind when you take in his many tattoos, which were often suppressed by his soft, dark academia-inspired fashion.
Massaging away some of the tension in his taut wrists, his large and veiny hands on full display, Remus sits back down with a frown, “This is a fucking mess—”
“—you’re a fucking mess,” Sirius shoots back, a mischievous hint in his tone as the heat in your cheeks continue to increase until you’re positive you have steam steadily rising out of your ears.
“This is serious, Sirius,” Remus calls his name almost mockingly and the icy stare Sirius sends him in return is so icy you feel the chill run down your spine without having to look.
“Oh, I am serious, don’t you know who I am?” before the tension could rise to dangerous levels again, you launch yourself off of Sirius’ lap, willing the butterflies from your stomach away and suppressing all imagery of the affection Sirius was just drowning you. It was his attempt at distracting you from the tense situation but you’re fed up of it now. It also breaks your heart seeing them like this when you know their true affections for one another.
“That’s enough!” you stand as strong as the finality ringing in your statement, “you two need to make up!” Remus and Sirius face the point of your accusing finger with disgruntled expressions, “I thought you two loved each other,” your disappointed tone makes their shoulders sag in shame and their eyes avoid one another’s.
“Dove, please—”
“—Listen…” the careful intonation in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed and wills them to hear you out with care, lips sealed shut, “you were both right — you both had good reason to act the way you did and I can’t blame either of you for wanting to steer things into a certain direction but I’m also to blame for this, okay? I was horrible at communicating my true emotions and that led to a lot of unnecessary heartache on both sides,” with a deep breath, you establish your resolve, “can’t we all just make up and move forward together?” everyone in the room knows that when you said ‘we’, what you really meant was just Remus and Sirius.
James has been an absolute angel throughout all of this, collateral damage to their bickering and unloving behaviour towards each other; stuck between a rock and a hard place. You only have sympathy for him being caught up in the middle of it all.
“Dove, it’s not—”
You swiftly interrupt, “I love all of you,” your confession makes them all stutter and flush pink in the cheeks. It’s an image that makes you smile warmly just before insecurity creeps over and your smile turns shy, “don’t… don’t you love me too?…” it was now clear in their actions that they reciprocated your romantic affections and so you weren’t wrong to assume that they wanted you to take part in their relationship…right?
The drawn out silence that followed was too much for you to bear. Even after taking some of the blame off their shoulders and confessing your love, they were still too stubborn to admit their wrongs and make up. Huffing, you make your disappointment and frustrations known with a deep frown, thoroughly concealing your heartache from their silence .
“We just need—” Sirius finally begins, stubborn as ever, only to be glared at harshly by both, Remus and James. This was not the right time for excuses. You had just worded your true feelings for them and they needed to reciprocate in kind. But those words were hard to come by, the timing for a confession also wasn’t ideal for the moment. Then again, when would it ever be. They’ve all just proven how incompetent they were at emotions despite being in such a loving relationship, and yet, you were still willing to accept and be with them romantically. The words they have for you reached beyond that of just love; they were also grateful, astonished and embarrassed for their incompetence.
“I love you too, angel, so so much,” James finally speaks up, eyes bright and his smile warm with his adoration of you. He ignores the high tension in the room, eyes fixed solely on you as he glowed like the summer sun but he doesn’t reach out for you in any way, he simply sits and admires. Admires how beautiful you look, admires how strong you are, admires how loving and sweet you remain despite all the trouble and anguish they’ve put you through.
You feel the world disappear around you and narrow your focus onto the only person you were grateful for in the room at that moment. Year heart pounds with warmth and devotion and all you want to do is be close to him. Helping yourself into James’ lap, you smile up at the bewildered look on this handsome face, “Oh James, you’re my only saving grace,”
James smiles at your words as his arms wrap around your waist, securing you in place, “yeah?” his voice is a faint whisper and airy with his adoration for you.
“Yeah,” reaching up, your arms wrap around his neck and pull him close so you can press your face under his chin. Behind you, you feel the baffled attention of Sirius and Remus, “how about I feed you some lunch again? Like we always used to do?”
Without waiting for an answer, you lean over to swipe up one of your lunch containers and proceed to feed him, completely ignoring the grumbling and whining emitting from Sirius and Remus.
“I like your thinking, angel,” James giggles adorably and happily accepts your affections as the two of you silently agree to ignore the other two until they make up. In the mean time, you’ll enjoy each other’s company in your own little bubble of love.
“How does it taste?” you ask sweetly, blatantly ignoring Remus and Sirius, sitting side-ways on James’ lap but keeping your full attention on him.
“Delicious! More than delicious!” James exaggerates and basks in the bell-like giggles he draws from you, he doesn’t want the sound to ever stop, “You’re always such a great cook, angel!”
“I made it all with love, just for you, Jamie~”
He hums low and appreciative, “I’m so fucking lucky, aren’t I?”
As you continue to feed him, James takes the opportunity to look over your shoulder and smirk at the miserable faces of his two lovers. They know they deserved this unfair treatment. They also know that, to remedy it, all they have to do is abandon their pride and apologise, which is always worth it when your love is on the line — it should be easy for them. All things considered, this was just light punishment.
Faced with only one solution, Remus and Sirius turn to each other. Sirius still grumbles under his breath as Remus sighs. The brunette accepts that it was entirely his fault for pushing Sirius to suppress his natural way of loving just for his own personal fear that things would turn out horribly, otherwise. And judging from the way Sirius avoids his eyes and continues to whine, Remus knows it’s up to him to make amends.
‘But it’s not so bad’, Remus smiles to himself; seeing one of his beloved partners grumpy and stubborn was oddly charming. And now that most of the conflict has dissolved, Remus had no other reason to hold back an apology other than for his own personal pride.
Making his way over, Remus kneels down beside his grumbling lover and whispers his name affectionately, “Sirius,” Remus waits, patient and unhurried, until his beloved in question finally looks at him. As soon as they meet eyes, Remus is left thinking the same devoted thought he’s always had when drowning in his boyfriend’s diamond-grey eyes, ‘how did I get so lucky?’ which is then quickly followed by a guilty, ‘why did I ever let it get this far?’
“Remus,”
“I’m sorry,” the piercer doesn’t wait for a response and, almost desperately, leans up to capture Sirius’ lips. The kiss is filled with emotions, a mix of sincerity, love and forgiveness. The sentiments were so keen they almost smother the murmured, unspoken words on Sirius’ tongue, “what was that, love?” Remus asks against his lover’s lips, unable to pull away fully. He missed this…
“I’m sorry too…”

It was a unanimous decision to have you spend the night at the boys’ shared flat. They’ve been kept away from you for too long and tonight they wanted to make up for lost time. High on emotions and desperately missing their presence in your life too, you agree as long as you dropped by your place first for a change of clothes. But not before having Remus and Sirius apologise to James for their neglect of him.
“You know, we really are so happy to have you in our lives, dollface,” Sirius utters, leaving feathery kisses on your lips as he pushes the door to their flat open whilst carrying your duffle bag for you. He was kind enough to take you to and from your flat on his motorcycle just for the quick collection of your night time essentials.
“I’m happy you’re in my life too, Siri,” the situation has finally dawned on you but you still can’t believe the events that have lead you to this very moment.
“Stop hogging her, Padfoot!” James whines, sweeping you off your feet and hurrying to the living room with you in his arms. Once there, he sits you on his lap triumphantly, “Aha! You’re finally mine!” he cheers and attacks your neck with a flourish of kisses, tickling you and infecting the air with your melodic giggles.
“Now you’re hogging her Prongs, stop being a hypocrite!” Sirius pants lightly after rushing to the scene from the hallway, a grin plastered on his lips despite his accusing words.
From the kitchen, Remus smiles to himself at the sounds of merriment in the air and continues to cook dinner.
This is how it should be…

Remus wanted to sort the conflict with Sirius out more, so he insisted that you spend the night in James’ bed which you happily agree shyly, James grinning widely at your side. All three of you agree as Sirius whines and makes adorable grabbing motions at you but it’s no use as Remus keeps the tattooist pressed tightly against his side, dragging him off and trapping him in his room for the night. The sight made you giggle but it was a brief reprieve from the anxious nerves that soon had you avoiding James’ eyes.
“You’re so cute,” James whispers affectionately at your shy behaviour, resisting the urge to kiss you as he leads you to his room and gestures to his en suite, “you can change in there, beautiful, I can change out here and brush my teeth at the kitchen sink instead,”
With a small smile, you move past him with your duffle, eager to get ready for bed but squeal in surprise when you feel a teasing pinch at your ass. An explosion of heat blooms across your cheeks when you glance over your shoulder and observe James’ sly wink and devious smirk directed at you.
“James—!”
“Angel with a cutest ass, aren’t I a lucky bastard?” he chuckles and presses a devoted, almost possessive, kiss onto your lips, “I never did say thank you for making those two apologise to me,” he purrs and nips at your bottom lip, “you make me feel seen…god, I love you so much,” you squeak into the fierce kiss that follows, almost losing yourself in the embrace but pry yourself away with a squeal when his hands travel too low and squeeze greedily at your ass.
You rush into the bathroom with butterflies in your stomach as James licks his lips and laughs merrily. He’s come to love teasing you and you didn’t know whether to argue or welcome it with open arms. Shaking the thoughts out of your head, you move on to change into your pyjamas - an oversized shirt and shorts - before proceeding with your night time skincare routine. For a moment, you contemplated taking a shower but rule against it, not wanting to prolong your night time routine. No more than fifteen minutes later, you were out of the en suite bathroom feeling refreshed and ready for bed but giggle at the sight of James already tucked under the covers. He looks so cosy and innocent, it almost makes you forget about his devious behaviour earlier on.
“All ready?” James asks with his usual boyish grin and sits up, allowing the covers to drop from his chest, at which point you quickly realise that James is a liar. He didn’t need to change into anything! All he did was take off his shirt and he was all set for bed! “I changed into comfier pyjama pants, though,” he argues lightly as you slip into the right side of the bed.
“That’s just half changing!” your retort has him laughing aloud, your flustered state beyond amusing and incredibly adorable in his eyes.
“Am I making you shy, princess?~”
“…No,”
“Oh yes I am~”
“Go to sleep, James,”
“Not without a goodnight kiss from my angel,” he leans over you with his naked chest on full display and you stutter in embarrassment, “don’t be shy, come and give me a fat smooch~” he puckers his lips above you and awaits your compliance with closed eyes.
“James—”
“I’m a very patient man, darling, I can do this all night long,”
“No you’re not,”
“Yes I am,”
“You’re not,”
“I am,”
“Not!”
He finally peaks an eye open. Then slowly opens both eyes as he un-puckers his lips to smirk down at you, caged in between his muscular arms as he props himself up with his elbows, “You just like staring at my beautifully muscular chest don’t you?” you watch as his ego inflates to dangerous levels right in front of you, “My tattoos turn you on too, angel?~”
“Oh for goodness sake!” you finally relent and lean upwards, your smile matching his own when you finally capture his lips in his much desired, goodnight kiss. With one arm holding himself up, James uses his spare hand to hold your face in place, prolonging the kiss. You have no choice but to accept his needy demands as your hand searches his bedside table for his lamp switch.

Morning comes with you groaning in discomfort as a syrupy wetness coats your inner thighs and painful pangs make you want to curl up into a ball. Your bleary morning fog makes the situation difficult to decipher but the realisation soon comes crashing down like a landslide and you lift the covers with a scream, the scent of iron becoming more potent. Beside you, James jumps awake, fully alert as his worried, hazel eyes scan you, trying to discern what may be the problem.
“What’s wrong, angel?” he asks, voice deep and groggy with sleep but dripping in concern.
“James, I’m so sorry,” you sob into your hands and curl up into yourself, hiding your face away from him.
“What do you mean?” he reaches forward, inching closer to you in the process and quickly realising what’s wrong when he feels an unusual wetness seep through his thin pyjama pants, “oh angel, don’t be upset, it’s okay,” he coos, gently prying your hands away from your face so he can kiss your forehead tenderly, “it’s normal. Are you okay?” he asks softly, looking over you without an ounce of judgement or anger on his face, only concern and soft, kind, heart-fluttering love in his eyes.
“Th-the blood—”
“I don’t care about the blood,” he insists gently, “I just want to make sure that you’re okay,” you remain silent from the embarrassment but he’s understanding, “do you want me to get you some painkillers?”
As soon as you give an affirming nod, he’s out of bed and hurrying down the hall. It doesn’t take very long for him to come back to you, a glass of water in one hand and a pack of painkillers in the other.
“Thank you,” you finally utter with a small smile, still upset at having ruined the sheets but so incredibly grateful for his tolerance. Patiently, he waits for you to take your dosage before he’s sweeping you up in his arms and carrying you into his en suite.
“Get cleaned up, angel,” he voices into you hair before placing you back on your feet, “I’ll change the sheets in the mean time,” he leaves you with a kiss before you could utter another word of apology. He wasn’t going to take it, he made that very clear, because it wasn’t your fault. And it was nothing a little oxi stain remover couldn’t fix.
The start to the day wasn’t ideal but James, Remus and Sirius made one of the most agonising and frustrating times of the month for you much more enjoyable. James woke his two lovers up while you were showering in his bathroom, thanking your lucky stars that you bought a spare change of clothes just in case you wanted to shower, and they all made the effort of getting you comfortable.
James changed his bedsheets and laid a dark coloured towel down for you to lay on top of just to catch any more potential leakage. He made sure you didn’t see his bloodied sheets again too so that you wouldn’t continue feeling guilty and happily took care of the stains away from your line of sight. Sirius worked on breakfast as Remus made you some tea and a hot water bottle and, before James steps out of the flat to buy you period pads, you hear Remus call out helpfully, “look for the long, heavy flow pads and make sure to get the ones with wings,” their thoughtfulness makes you smile.
“How did you know to get these ones?” you ask when James comes back, panting as he hands you the pack of pads through the door of his en suite.
“Remus told me, and I heard girls experience heavier flows on the first few days,” his answer draws out a proud smile. You have no doubt you’d be well taken care of in this relationship, though it does make you bashful.
“Thank you, James,”
For breakfast Sirius cooked you french toast with strawberries and honey, apparently it was the only good thing he could cook. Remus balanced the sweetness of the meal out with some eggs and toast, while James brought over the tea and hot water bottle Remus had also prepared. Breakfast was pleasant but they boys were insistent that you stay in James’ bed and call if you needed anything. As much as they wanted to spend the full day right by your side, they were preparing to make the announcement of returning their business into full operations and were still taking calls and responding to client emails at home. You didn’t argue, you knew the shop was important to them so you didn’t want to be a burden.

The day drags by and you know they’ve made it clear that you could freely call out to them whenever but the hours drag by and they haven’t heard a single peep. They didn’t mean to lose their full attention in their work; it’s been so long since they were last filled with the motivation to keep up with their business that emails and paperwork on equipment orders had piled up significantly so they were swamped. Thankfully they were finally inspired enough that the work didn’t feel laborious. Unfortunately, that meant seeing them in their element though James’ open doorway and shying away from redirecting their attention back to you.
It wasn’t until you willed yourself to walk to their kitchen that you finally caught their attention. All phone calls, email responses and paperwork filing was stopped as soon as you stepped into their line of sight when your craving for a snack became too much. They had gone for a quick shop to buy you an array of snacks from sweet to savoury that morning and had left the bag on their kitchen counter. You were just reaching for the bag when Remus caught your wrist and swept you up into his arms in order to carry you back into James’ bed.
All three of them felt incredibly guilty for having neglected you, unintentional or not, they even neglected themselves in the process by prioritising their work and forgetting about lunch. In Remus’ head, everything circled back to the night before as a chain of linked events. As you laid in bed, curled up and nibbling on a chocolate bar, you watch and listen as Remus scolds the two about how, if the outburst didn’t happen, they wouldn’t have asked you to stay the night, you wouldn’t have agreed and you wouldn’t have had to suffer from their incompetent care. Remus was being too hard on himself, which reflected directly onto Sirius and James.
“This is why I said we needed to be careful and. To. Be. Patient,” Remus snarls under his breath, almost growling at Sirius and James who stand at the foot of the bed. James nods with a disappointed sigh as Sirius crosses his arms and huffs in defiance. They’re developing a bad habit of speaking about you when you’re still in the same room but, at least, it means their thoughts are open to you.
“I didn’t see you complain when you watched James and I practically devouring her sweet little mouth yesterday,” Sirius’ challenging comment makes the tips of James’s ears turn visibly pink as an embarrassing heat climbs up your neck to bloom across the apples of your cheeks. Interestingly, James can barks and bites to his heart’s content with you but if anybody else brings it up, it seems that bashfulness isn’t far behind.
Remus shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose, “don’t start now, Sirius—”
“—I-I don’t mind, we’re all learning to love together and I know how important the tattoo parlour is to all of you so I really don’t mind…” you interrupt their bickering with flushed cheeks and shy eyes, unprepared for the reaction you would receive.
Remus snaps his full attention towards you in that moment. Your words were innocent and you look the picture of virtue, shy and sweet as you peer up at them with glittering doe eyes and a small smile. Remus doesn’t think anybody else could be more beautiful than you right now. You appreciate his passions, you support it even, you’re understanding, you’re kind, you’re loving, you’re sweet and you’re so incredibly lovable, he wants to keep you away from the rest of the world forever, selfishly keeping you for himself. He wonders if you know how much of a tease you’ve been to him this whole, working him up over and over and over again until he finally snaps.
Morals and patience be damned — he can’t resist you anymore.
Remus’ face carries an unreadable expression as he gives a slow exhale and strides over to you. Sirius and James watch from where they stood, unmoving but with sly smiles on their lips — they know you’re the perfect image of Remus’ weaknesses bundled into one being and they both knew this was coming. It was about time… they applaud him though, he has more patience than them — but he had more desires too.
It all happens too fast for you to register but Remus was quickly looming over you, propped up by a hand on the bed as his other gripped at your chin. His eyes were piercing and held such promise within them, un-breaking and passionate, that you couldn’t look away.
“Don’t tempt me, beautiful girl,” his voice lowers several octaves and is underpinned by a hypnotising vibration that corrupts your limbs with minor tremors and a ferocious heat. Shamelessly, he captures your lips in a soft and tender kiss, an antithesis to the dark gleam in his feral eyes, “I’m not above making a mess in the bedroom,” you gasp at the implication and, for a moment, your cramps become pleasantly arousing. Again, Remus can’t help but hold your lips hostage in an increasingly impassioned embrace. He greedily eats up your pretty moans, the muffled sounds going straight to his groin and making his smart trousers uncomfortably tight — a prickling warning to his precarious conduct, “so be a good girl and sit pretty until after you get over this, okay?”he utters roughly against your lips.
He’ll wait just a little bit longer…it’ll be worth it.

NAVI. | SERIES M.LIST | NEXT : ... →
A/N : goodness me, this was so much harder to write than previous chapters, i kept changing so many things but i think i'm satisfied with the final product, i hope you darlings do too~ the next chapter will be a pretty big one i think, so i won't be posting it for a while, however, i may post short additional imagines/scenarios for this series that don't necessarily follow the chronological order just to satiate some of you XD anywho~ i hope you darlings enjoyed this chapter and look forward to the next one
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The fact that TMA and TMagP are podcasts means that there are no official visuals. You can just Think things.
Boom. Everyone in the Archives now has a cowboy hat. The OIAR staff are all wearing McDonalds uniforms. Alice wears neon party sunglasses constantly. Needles is in a strawberry dress. Elias never actually stopped smoking weed, Jonah loves that shit and does it all the time and when his office gets all foggy Peter Lukas shows up and they make out. Jon read out the Hello, Jon statement in an ugly Christmas sweater that Martin got him for the office secret santa. Georgie and Jon had matching unicorn onesies in S3. Daisy wears MSCHF's Big Red Boots all the time.
Does anyone in this place know about School Bus Graveyard?
I read that shit in one day and I can't stop thinking about itttt

My new headcanon is that Karens become Susans in Hell.