I Should Not Be Listening To Jpop While Writing Someone Dying

I should not be listening to jpop while writing someone dying 💀

Ben Clark rant because yes

Warning: Very subjective because this getting written to cope with my headache🥲

Ben Clark. Just, a silly guy, right?

S1

Usually seen as just a shadow of Aiden Clark, "Oh, it's Aiden's cousin!" "Oh, is it that psycho's cousin?"

Ben doesn't mind! He's given up before, he doesn't mind being seen as "Aiden's cousin" and not "Ben Clark", he doesn't mind only following his cousin around, letting his cousin decide for him, he's given up, and is quite dependent of his cousin's choices.

He doesn't mind the fact that he usually just sleeps whenever there's nothing to do, because there is nothing to do, should he read? Should he listen to music? He doesn't jump into a lot of the group's conversations, and generally just gets forgotten.

He's only a helper to them, he's only their ally, their healer.

S2

And then Ben became more of Ben Clark and not the cousin of Aiden Clark. He started making more independent choices, he started getting seen as someone and not just a shadow.

The group started becoming more like family, his allies, his friends, started feeling more like family, he felt loved, cared, he felt at home.

(ps the headache hadn't subsided👍)

I LOST ALL MY MONEY EARNED BY COMMITING CRIME ON A DISCORD SV DUE TO GAMBLING ON THAT DISCORD SERVER *CRIES IN FUCKING PEASANTNESS*

JESUS CHRIST LMAO

I was never tagged but who tf cares let's help themmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

okay since it was so fun the last time i did this and it resulted in me learning italian on duolingo, i really need motivation from you guys so here we go!

if this gets:

1000 notes, i’ll TRY and take breaks in between my studying.

2000 notes, i’ll TRY MY BEST to eat three proper meals per day (im anorexic)

3000 notes, i’ll tell my parents i think im neurodivergent (been sitting on this since i was 9)

5000 notes, i’ll actually try to get 6 hours of sleep

6000 notes, i’ll finish writing my book :)

7000 notes, i’ll drink water. 2 cups per day.

8000 notes, i’ll actually make conscious efforts to regularly tidy up my mess of a room.

9000 notes, i’ll get rid of all the toxic people in my life.

10000 notes, i’ll come out to my parents.

(obviously the numbers are high bc i really don’t want to do these. no rules with this. go wild.)

Idc what the outcome will be but I'll probably need the motivation

If this post gets:

350 notes: I'll start properly writing the Vigilante AU that I'm struggling to do

500 notes: I'll start to clean my household that's dusty af

1000 notes: I'll start studying for my Journalism(I have to catch on a lot hwlp)

2000 notes: I'll start art studying more on the face

3000 notes: I'll start actually exercising the whole week(I've been needing to take vitamins because of how much I just sit and struggle to do something with my body)

4000 notes: I'll start actually studying for my school

5000 notes: I'll try stopping the voices in my head that says that all my injuries/suffering are just little and actually start trying to ask for help more

10000 notes: I'll go and fight my trauma and start trying to cook more food other than rice and eggs because I still remember that fire back when I was around 5(It's funny because I wanted to become a chef before and now I joke a lot about arson, ironic, ain't it?)

Why so much? I really want to do these and yet there's something in my head making me scared of doing these

No rules, go insane if needed

Guys how to write grief

(No we're not talking about what's happening here)