Artyloganlover - Spencer - Tumblr Blog

nick is a himbo.

that is all.

CM opinion that might be unpopular:

Penelope Garcia was canonically a renegade vigilante who was forced to work for the FBI under threat of incarceration and given no alternative. The FBI blackmailed her into taking the analyst position. Are we really expected to believe that she’s actually just, like, fallen in love with the institution that’s effectively holding her hostage and forcing her to work for them? Because I don’t lol

I personally feel like Penelope has no respect or real regard for the FBI/the government in general? She breaks their bureaucratic rules ALL THE TIME (her outfits, hair, office decor, encrypted files, dating another bureau employee, whatever you’d call her conversations w Morgan, hacking the NSA, going into the CIA database for Prince Harry’s phone number) to an extent that NO ONE ELSE does. And everyone onscreen is like “oh, that’s Garcia, haha, she’s just so quirky and fun,” but to me it almost seems like a form of rebellion against the FBI

I feel like she actually kind of hates the Bureau and wants nothing to do with them, but she loves her team (as individuals) and the act of getting justice so much that she’s on the fence about whether the job is worth it

I went through Shemar Moore’s entire Instagram so that you don’t have to

- Really likes to talk about how “pretty” Matthew is. A little difficult for me to tell whether he’s making fun of him or not?

- (Mentions the prettiness in the captions of all but 2 of the many pictures he posted with Matthew, and brings it up gratuitously, like so:)

- Has nicknames for several members of the cast:

He refers to himself alternatingly as “daddy,” “goofball,” and “baby boy”

Kirsten is “baby girl,” “my baby girl” or “my original baby girl”

Matthew is “pretty Ricky, “pretty boy,” “baby boy” (a few times), or “Dr. Prettyboy” (when they’re on set and in costume)

Joe is “Italian Stallion”

Thomas is “captain no-smile”

- He likes “dynamic duos.” He refers to himself and Matthew as “baby boy and pretty boy,” “goofball and pretty boy,” “ebony and ivory,” “salt and peppa,” and “woody and wessley.” He and Kirsten are “baby boy and baby girl.” He and Joe are “Ebony and the Italian Stallion.”

- Was very close with his mom, and raised a lot of money to research MS, from which she suffered 💔

- Says that he and Paget have “never hooked up.” Published no such disclaimer for anyone else, so idk

- What does Derek Morgan do, according to Shemar? “Blast [shoot] fools, kick doors, and charm them baby girls.”

- Kind of a fuckboy, but actually, aside from that, I think he seems like a really good guy from what he’s posted

- Writes poems (the one he posted is about Black struggle and it’s very good)

- “Morgan and Reid…ebony n ivory, Captain Kick Doors Down and Dr. Smarty Pants”

- Loves to talk about how he’s such a goofball compared to Derek Morgan, who he sees as a very serious badass action hero

- Has a lot of other ridiculous commentary about the show:

Do they cry while arguing: BAU edition

Hotch: absolutely not

Rossi: laughs and smirks while arguing. Very annoying

Morgan: every few years, he’ll cry during a high-stakes, extremely emotional fight, but he’d never cry during a normal argument

JJ: no. cries as soon as she’s alone afterwards tho :(

Reid: cries as soon as it starts to heat up and people raise their voices. Doesn’t like being yelled at

Emily: yes, but like, scary, angry tears

Garcia: cries before the argument. Cries during and after. Cries if she suspects there might be an argument forthcoming. Cries if Derek uses a full stop in a text to her. Cries if someone doesn’t sound enthused on the phone. Crying right now. Tears everywhere, no land in sight

As you all know I have like a personal vendetta against men’s clothing because it’s so fucking ugly and boring so here’s some of the tasteful androgynous fits I would have Spencer Reid wear if I was in charge of criminal minds

criminal minds episode

[suburban house in the dark]

Woman: hey I’m getting some wine okay honey

Man: okay

[spooky music]

[someone comes up behind the woman and slits her throat with a fork]

[powerpoint transitions between clips of the cast, theme song plays]

[picture of FBI Quantico labeled “FBI QUANTICO”]

[inside FBI Quantico]

Reid: did you know that prince removed one of his ribs to suck his own dick

Prentiss: DiD yOu Kn—shut up

Reid: okay sorry

JJ: hey everyone we’re starting. get in here

Everyone: [gets in there]

[sitting at the table]

Hotch: 😠

Reid: 🙂

Morgan: 🤨

Rossi: 🧐

JJ, showing a PowerPoint presentation of dead bodies: the UnSub is killing people with spoons. But now he has used a fork

Morgan: his MO changed…that means…

Rossi : we need to act fast. He’s getting sloppy

Reid: ☹️

Hotch: 😠 wheels up in 20

[everyone starts to leave]

Prentiss: hey wait Reid

Reid: what

Prentiss: do you want to talk about it

Reid: next time why don’t you just ask me if I want to gouge my eyes out with melon ballers because that’s how much I don’t want to talk about it. That’s how avoidant I am. God I wish I had a father [leaves]

[scene of plane flying]

Hotch, voiced over: “What would you do if you did not know how to what okay and. — The Bible”

[inside plane]

Reid: did you know—

Morgan: DiD yOu kNoW— shut up you little twink. You’re so gorgeous I just wanna rub my hands—

Reid: wh—

Hotch: let’s focus please

Garcia, appearing on the computer screen: hello all of you slimy little cum beasts

Rossi: 👁👄👁

Morgan: hey sexy

Hotch: 😠… what do you have for us

Garcia: I obtained a record of all forks bought in the past week

Hotch: great work. thank you

Morgan: god i just wanna fuck your brains out

Garcia: fill me with your mixed babies

Hotch: [disapproving glance]

Reid: 🤭

[meeting the local cops]

JJ: hey I’m agent jereau we spoke on the phone

Cop: oh hey sexy you didn’t tell me you had huge naturals and a slim thick ass when we talked on the phone hahaha let’s go inside we’ll get you set up

[several minutes of poking around at crime scenes]

Hotch: okay. Let’s present the profile

Morgan: are we ready for that

[zoom on Hotch’s face]

“No”

[black screen where there would have been commercials if you were watching this on CBS but it’s 2020 and you’re watching it on Netflix so there are no commercials so you’re forced to see your reflection and think about the fact that you’ve been watching Criminal Minds for six hours straight]

[in room with the cops]

Hotch: it’s a white male in his 30’s

Cop who is racist: you sure

Prentiss: hey shut the fuck up please. It’s a white male in his 30’s and his dick don’t work so he’s decided to kill everyone who looks the same as his mother because he blames her for his dick not working

[more poking around at the most recent crime scene]

Morgan, climbing up a tree or something in the yard: so I’m the unsub. Where can I see inside the windows without being seen

Prentiss: you look dumb as hell up there just so you know. You look like a fucking freak just so you know

Rossi, from inside the house: hey guys I think found something

[commercial break]

Spencer in his lil grandpa glasses reblog if you agree

Criminal Minds ( 02 x 17 )

oh!!!!!! 

you know that meme which us like every bi trans man has a lesbian best friend? that used to be me and my now bf. we started dating before he came out and at the time i id as a lesbian. about 4months into our relationship i cane out as bi and 6 months later he came out as trans... we do be vibing tho

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend

I’ve noticed this revisionist Greek myth is common wherein Persephone loves Hades and eats the pomegranate seeds in order to evade her overbearing mother, and that’s all well and good. You know, sometimes I’m in the mood for it and sometimes I’m not. But hear this: as long as we’re doing this, why is no one wondering whether Aphrodite might really love Hephaestus? 

Think about it. All the gods in their immortal splendor are lining up to marry her, doing everything in their power to impress her, the goddess of love and beauty, and she choses…that guy. A god in technical terms only, a social reject who’s ugly and malformed and um, no fun. Always slaving away in his workshop when everyone else is quaffing nectar and having their eternal beach party up on Mount Olympus. They can’t believe she’d give up all of them for that. 

So, because the gods do not take rejection well (looking at you Apollo), eventually they start to say to each other, well, we all know Zeus made her do it anyway. He’s gotta feel guilty for throwing Hephaestus off Mount Olympus that one time. And it quickly becomes that poor girl, stuck in that workshop full of sweat and dirt and cyclopses when she could have had one of us. Because of course they’ve got love all figured out; it’s entirely technical and dependent on who’s the most charming and good-looking and not at all variable and strange and notoriously unpredictable, right?

Meanwhile Ares, only the most arrogant and brainless of the crew, can’t take a hint and is still showing up wherever Aphrodite goes trying to hit on her, so eventually she and Hephaestus decide to rig up an elaborate mechanical trap for him, using her as bait. When all the gods have laughed at him for getting caught he huffily attempts to regain his dignity by telling them, whatever, guys, you want to know the truth, I was meeting her for an assignation. And they all kind of know he’s full of it but they just accept it as the unvarnished truth from thereon in, because they’d love to believe she’d cheat on Hephaestus with Ares. They’d love it. Come on, Aphrodite, get off your high horse and admit you’re just as shallow as the rest of us. 

So they talk, but Aphrodite doesn’t really care about their collective jealousy because she dotes on her misshapen genius of a husband with his sooty hands and his sweaty brow who always takes her seriously and is always so hard at work inventing astonishing new things to make her happy, and she loves the volcano they live in with its internal pressures so conducive to the formation of precious stones and its passages lit with glowing lava that so gorgeously offsets her cheekbones, and all the cyclopses worship her because even with one eye apiece they’ve still got more depth perception than most men do where she’s concerned. True it is that as a couple the two develop a reputation for not getting out much, because all those Olympian parties bore them to death and they’d rather spend time with each other (poor Aphrodite, she’s such a vivacious young thing and her husband is so grasping and insecure that he won’t let her go out and have fun), but they do all right. 

Peter Parker, a Gen Z kid, screws up: Fuck, guess I’ll kill myself.

Steve Rogers, an artist during the 30’s and a soldier during WWII who knows full well what Dadaism and fatalistic humor are: There’s bleach under the sink–

Bucky Barnes, the guy who listened to Steve’s art rants in the 30’s, watched his back in WWII and went through 70+ years of shit: –And a rope in the supply closet if you want options.

Rest of the Avengers: ?????!!!!!!!?????

fi: pam wyt ti'n dinistrio'r ddaear!!!

estroniaid: oherwydd mae yna bobl sy'n credu mai saesneg yw'r unig iaith sydd ei hangen arnyn nhw i siarad

fi: mae hynny'n deg dwi'n deall

me: why are you destroying earth!!!

aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak

me: thats fair i understand

🤑 i-

Your fifth most recent emoji is what your soulmate thinks about you

so this is kind of out of nowhere, but i have an idea for a garcia pride outfit. like, i personally think penelope is pan right and while i was looking through google for cute 50s inspired dresses i saw this dress 

and i just thought what about garcia in this dress, but with three diferent coloured petticoats under it. one pink, one yellow and one blue. all in that order like the pan flag... well anyway that is my rant for today, good night

glad you're with me

Ok, my second favorite Sanders Sides song. Go:

Let’s review

good what a mooooood

me: logan is so relatable

them: oh why

me, internally: oh just the fact that he represses his emotions for fear of not being taken seriously or the inevitable time when he has to deal with the pain and sadness, the fact that he doesn't infodump or talk about his interests because he's so used to being mocked for it or called boring, the fact that he puts everyone else's wants before his own just so that everyone is accommodated for except him, he constantly does things for other people that is never even acknowledged, and his flaws are picked apart so thoroughly that he's afraid to even show a single personal aspect of himself in fear of immediately being shut down or told he's wrong for being himself

me, externally: he likes books lol

felix or cornelius! i just feel it yaknow

RIGHT GUYS

If everyone reblogs and guesses a random male name, then when the orange dark side and his name are revealed then MAYBE one of us will be right. Like someone might get lucky and be right and it would be hilarious

So uhhhh reblog and add a Random Male Name (or perhaps a name you theorise could be it) and when it's finally revealed I shall return and see if anyone got it right!

My guess is:

Ethan

Pass the happy along! when you get this, reply with five things that make you happy and then send this to the last ten people in your notifications.

my gf

ron weasley

space!!!!!!

logan sanders

and.... my gf again!

i know i have like 14 people following me, but read this masterpiece! it made me cry omg its amazing

Geralt and Yennefer are living their well earned happily ever after and Jaskier is mortal. Jaskier is happy for Yen and Geralt after everything is said and done. Together with Ciri they brought peace to the land and finally made their relationship work after much hardships. It is a hard won decision, but Geralt, tired of all the fighting, decides agrees to take a break from being a witcher and just retire for a while with Yennefer by his side exploring and enjoying their new relationship.

The plan for their retirement doesn’t involve Jaskier and he doesn’t ask to accompany them. This is the ending of their story and he was never a protagonist. Side characters have no role in the happily ever after and he came to terms with a long time ago. All of them walk together side by side not quite ready yet to say their goodbyes. In his heart he knows it will be the last time they’re together like this, but he refuses to say the words out loud clinging to the hope that he will see them all again. The immortals by his side don’t notice the inner conflict, he hides with song and laughter.

First to go is Ciri, who has become like a daughter to him over the years even if the sentiment isn’t quite shared. To her, he ponders, he must be more like a fun uncle she can turn to when she needs a break from Geralt and Yen. He gladly gives her everything she needs and asks for and is so proud of the strong woman he helped raise. When she depards, eager to find her own place in the world, she leaves them alone in a clearing far enough from Kaer Morhen for Yen to use her portals.

Who would’ve thought the witch would grew on him so much over the years. A deep and chaotic friendship connects them now and knowing she finally found the love she’s been looking for all her life fills him with joy. The jealousy he used to feel towards her seems an eternity away. She deserves all the love she’s getting and gives so much back in return. Thanks to her hardly a day goes by without Geralt smiling and even with his smiles mostly directed at Ciri and Yen, Jaskier can’t find it in his heart to be discontent.

Geralt, grown so very soft compared to their beginning, initiates a hug and Jaskier allows himself to indulge in a fantasy of what could’ve been and never was. He imagines a life full of secret glances and stolen touches, whispered confessions over the campfire and a warm bed to return to. He imagines Geralt turning his embrace into a passionate kiss asking him to run away with him somewhere far away and then he lets go.

“See you around, Geralt.” He says with a smile as Yen leaves with him through a portal and he is left alone on the clearing.

Tears he held back for weeks flow freely down his cheeks now that there is no one is see and Jaskier takes his time to collect himself again before starting his journey again. It’s nearly dusk already and he should start putting it all into song. Audiences love a good happy end. 

His bones ache.

Keep reading

my best friend is cousins with sophie evans (dorothy in the broadway stage production of wizard of oz), and im friends with the daughter of any wadge (she wrote shape of you the ed sheeran song, she also has a grammy)

Anybody else got like,, rlly random connections to famous ppl?? Like my older brothers were friends w Jennifer Lawrence when they were like 12 and I just found out I’m friends w the cousin of the girl who voiced honey lemon in big hero six like, idk what I’m supposed to do with either of these tid bits I feel like I was supposed to live my life in ignorance of them

i just really love the horrid henry theme tune , the actual theme sounds a bit like american idiot in the intro