
i was born to write she/her descendants / marvel / dc / multi fandom / goT
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Ok So This Is A Tmi And I Will Probably Delete This Later But Safari Fucking Deleted All My Private Tabs
ok so this is a tmi and i will probably delete this later but safari fucking deleted all my private tabs and i lost this hood ass fanfic from a03 it’s like the reader babysits leia and Luke for ani and then she goes on their family trip to the aquarium
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More Posts from Astarborntowrite
Enamored Masterlist

Summary: Everything you heard about matters of heart and desire told you the same thing; love could lead to heartbreak at best and disastrous results at worst.
Yet, you were convinced that everyone was wrong. They had to be, because love was supposed to make everyone happier, no confusion or pain in sight.
Regardless of how naive it sounded, you were sure that you were ready to fall in love and lose yourself in the infamous bliss.
That assumption right there was a terrible mistake, though.
You were nowhere near ready.
Warnings: Slow burn, mutual pining, Regency era society and social rules, angst. (Separate warnings included in chapters)
Keep reading
THE VISCOUNT WHO LOVED ME

tewkesbury x fem!reader
warnings: old time values, misogyny, mature themes, marriage of convenience, love at first sight (tewesbury)
songs: until i found you - stephen sanchez, i hear a symphony- cody fry, good old fashion lover boy - queen, enchanted- taylor swift, head over heels - tears for fears,
the viscount tewkesbury believed in true love. he believed that his perfect match was somewhere out there, he once thought his perfect match was enola holmes but after confessing his feelings to her she sadly shot him down, she didn’t feel the same way at all, not even in the slightest bit.
tewkesbury decided that it was time to move on, he was twenty but he was the viscount, apart of the house of lords and most importantly he wanted a wife to spend time with and a family of his own to take care of. he told his mom that he was interested in finding a match this season and she was more than excited she was absolutely thrilled for him. she really wanted a daughter in law… someone to take her place as viscountess.
not even a week later they had gotten dozens of invites to balls but to tewkesbury disappointment he didn’t find anyone who sparked his interests, but he wasn’t one to give up, he’d attend two more balls this week, he hoped he had better luck.
the lady y/n bennett would make her debut into society at the watson ball tomorrow night, she was very excited. she loved getting all dressed up, she loved party’s and dancing. there was one thing that y/n didn’t love and that was love itself. she didn’t really really hate love she just disliked it a lot.
she didn’t want to get married so quickly but her father was very eager to marry her off to an earl or perhaps a duke. her father was an earl but he wanted his daughter to marry someone with a higher title then himself. y/ns mother was one of the reasons y/n didn’t really believe in love, her mother taught her that it didn’t matter what he looked like or how he acted if he had a higher title you say yes. well now she’s dead so your fate was in your fathers hands
your mother was well, decent but she never really showed you any love or payed u any attention, she couldn’t care less that you excelled at academics. she only cared about your looks. she fell ill last year and died before the season started.
you knew most men only saw women as cattle, they’d use them to breed an heir and that’s about it. men didn’t care if you had a personality or hobbies, as long as you looked decent and had good “birthing hips”. you prayed that at least a decent looking man took interest in you. oh did u have a storm coming.
•
it was the day of the watson ball and you were both excited and extremely nervous, you wore a light purple gown with grey accents. your hair was styled. your ladies maids did your makeup and picked your shoes. after you were all finished you headed down stairs to the living room area. your father was his usual self, serious but very loving towards you.
“y/n you look pretty, your mother would be very proud” he smiled and you nodded and gave a warm smile back. “we should head to the watsons the way isn’t far but i would like to get this over with” he let out a sigh and you followed him to the door.
at bashilwether hall
tewkesbury was trying to remain positive about tonight’s festivities, his mother constantly reminding him that new eligible young ladies would be attending. he just wanted someone to love, someone to start a family with. he was getting awfully bored at bashilwether hall, all those rooms but no kids to fill them up, most men his age would wait until the age of one and thirty to tie themselves down but he was different he didn’t just run on lust. he wanted love.
he and his mother caroline stepped into their carriage and made their way to the watsons manor for their annual first season ball. his mother tried to make small talk by telling him about some of the young ladies that would be attending. “i hear lady bennett is simply breathtaking, maybe you shall make her your marchioness” caroline said in a cheery voice. the young man muttered “maybe mother”
“perhaps lady daphne watson she’s freshly debuted in society, I hear she watercolors” caroline chuckled. “is she well read? does she like flowers?” he questioned. “son… none of these young ladies will tick everything off in your list”.
• 20 minutes later
tewkesbury standing by the dessert table munching on mini chocolate cakes. it had been twenty minutes and still no young lady had ignited a spark in him. many mamas shoved their daughters down his throat. everyone was dancing and mingling but him. the ballroom door was open and it revealed a breath taking young women and who he hoped was her father. he noticed other gentleman take a liking to her. he saw sir peters practically run towards her. this mystery girl in purple was the one for him. he shall have her, she shall become viscountess tewkesbury.
she and sir peters were now dancing, his jaw clenched. this wasn’t a diamond in the rough situation she was like a diamond in the clearest water. a diamond that he and every other lord and maybe even lady wanted. viscount tewkesbury was different from the other men, he was young and more open minded. he was all for women’s rights.
he watched as the lady in purple swayed and danced with dukes, earls and even other viscounts but she didn’t really looked interested in any of them, so he was going to sweep you off your feet and become your knight and shining armor. he knew if anything about courting it’s best to talk to the lady’s father.
so that he did. he walked across the room and introduced himself. “viscount tewkesbury the marquis of bashilwether” he flashed his charming smile. the older gentleman shook his hand and stated his name back. “earl of davenport, edmund bennett”. after conversing with the gentleman for a good thirty minutes he managed to make the man laugh….. edmund hadn’t laughed since his wife died.
“you should meet my daughter. the young lady in light purple. y/n bennett” he pointed out his daughter. “i’d be honored. she’s very beautiful.” he almost stuttered. “oh look the music stopped, let me go fetch my daughter. stay put son.” he patted his arm and went to get his daughter.
after a few minutes of y/ns father shooing away men they finally approached the young handsome viscount. “viscount tewkesbury, this is my daughter’s the honorable y/n bennett.” y/n bowed but she looked rather bored. “viscount tewkesbury the marquess of bashilwether” he grinned and kissed her gloved hand. “y/n darling why don’t you tell the viscount of your hobbies” the man gave his daughter a little nudge. “i- i like to read,write um- walks in my garden. i love flowers” that was the moment tewkesbury knew she was the love of his life. “flowers? something we have in common what’s your favorite lady bennett” before she could answer an much older man approach them. “sir melton, you are very lovely may i have this dance?” tewkesbury mentally cursed at the man, he was way to old to be courting a freshly debuted women. “actually sir. i owe the viscount here a dance” tewkesbury got the hint and took her by the arm. “the viscount has the last slot on her dance card, hurry on children” y/ns father let out taking a drink of his liquor.
with that said you and tewkesbury strolled to the dance floor. “your gown is amazing.” you smiled not to big but it was there. “thank you my lord”. another song started playing and they began to waltz. tewkesbury admired her as she spun around. after a couple minutes of silence between them, y/n bennett spoke with a genuine tone and not a blank one like before. “hyacinths.” tewkesbury was caught by a surprise by her sudden attitude change. “pardon?” he pretended he didn’t hear but… he did.
“if i had to choose a favorite it’d be the hyacinth flower” she smiled and her smile made his legs turn to jelly. “lovely flower for a lovely girl” the music stopped and you bowed. he escorted you back to your father on the other side of the room. “you two would make such a lovely pair” tewkesbury wanted to ask him for your hand already but he knew it was to soon and frowned upon. “father.” y/n grumbled.
“well we should get going. if u intend to court my daughter you best get on the list of callers. a lot have taken interest” you wanted to dig yourself in the ground. “i fully intend to win your daughters hand” he bowed. “it brings me such despair to say goodbye, until tomorrow” you blushed a little
[the carriage ride home]
tewkesbury talked his mothers ear off, he explained to her his plan on winning your heart. caroline was just happy that he was finally happy. “she’s my true love mother, i was foolish to think it was enola” caroline just smiled and nodded. “what will you bring her? when u call on her tomorrow.” she yawned. “hyacinth flowers and maybe some sweets.” “i think i predicted this, i knew you’d pick ms bennett she’s very beautiful and talented.” his mother smiled.
“i was talking to her father and he seems eager to marry her off. it was her mothers wish. she died before the season started.” caroline let out a soft sigh. “how sad. i hope he doesn’t marry her off to the first person that asks. i’d like the engagement ring father gave you.” he cleared his throat. “of course son, i can’t wait for a daughter in law and grandchildren, it won’t be so empty” she smiled just thinking about it. little versions of her son running around would bring her so much joy.
•
the ride home in your carriage was much more quiet. eventually your father broke the silence once he coughed. “the viscount tewkesbury would be a perfect match my dear. he’s only a couple years older than you, he’ll make a fine husband” he let out. you didn’t want to marry this fast. you just wanted to enjoy the season. “he’s alright i suppose” you just closed your eyes wanting to drift off to sleep to avoid this conversation. “duke haselby also was very smitten with you. maybe the duke of hastings he seemed very kind to you.” you ignored him and kept your eyes closed hoping he’d think you were asleep.
“Y/N!” your father raised his voice. you pretended to just wake. “yes father?” you said in a sleepy voice. “I spoke to the boys mother and tewkesbury is very set on marrying this season. he’s going to be on one knee in a fortnight.” you sighed frowning a bit. “I don’t want to wed this fast father, why can’t i just wait until the season is over.” you said in a serious tone giving your father the death glare. “your mother wanted u to…. her dying wish. you’re lucky she’s not here with us, she would’ve married you off to old duke wellings” he yelled and you felt tears stream down your face. “I love you dear. i just want what’s best for you.” you cried until you reached home.
•
it was the next morning and your ladies maids woke you up to prepare you for breakfast. one your ladies maids told you that your father requested that you eat in your room so you can get prepared for the evening. suitors would probably burst down your door in about five hours so you sighed and ate your fruit salad and tea. “I’d like to wear my pink dress today. and i want my hair to be pinned up please” your maid’s comply almost immediately. one gets your pink dress and the others get to work on undressing you to prepare you for a bath.
after your bath, your maid start to do your hair and another one applys makeup. you start to think about what you’ll say to suitors. you don’t want to embarrass your father but maybe if u act unlikable the suitors will leave and never come back. there is both upsides and downsides to that plan. you just hoped and prayed he didn’t show up, tewkesbury was handsome and very wealthy but he just seemed so in love with you and you didn’t like that. love in general made u feel a little weird. you loved your father and uncle but that was family love not romantic. after a while you were done getting ready so you went downstairs to the living room where you knew your father would be residing.
“the callers should be here in an hour” your father grumbled while he read a news sheet. you sighed and sat down on the sofa with your favorite book in hand. a maid entered the room and your father ordered for her to alert the chef to bring out pastries and tea and finger sandwiches for the guests. you rolled your eyes. an hour passed and already you had 14 callers lined up at the door waiting for their turn to meet you. another hour passed and you’ve seen about twenty men, that was way more than you expected but tewkesbury didn’t show.
the last suitor left as his time was up, he wished you and your father a good evening and left. you could tell your father was angry, probably because stupid tewkesbury didn’t show up, he probably realized that love is stupid and he doesn’t like me but before you could bask in your victory, there he was with flowers and chocolate in hand. the butler announced him and your dad grinned. “viscount tewkesbury the marquess of basilwether” the viscount bowed and you got up and did the same.
“i’m sorry i’m late, paperwork got the best of me. here” he handed you a bouquet of hyacinths and a chocolate box, he remembered your favorite flower so you decided to play nice for now. “thank you my lord they are very lovely.” you stared at the flowers in awe, you alerted your maid to take the flowers up to your bedchamber. “should we sit? i’d love to talk more about you. what’s your favorite colors?” you looked at your father who gave you a look of approval so you smiled and sat down next to tewkesbury.
“well if you mean dress colors, i suppose pinks, blues and purples- OH and greens. i love green in everything.” your voice became more cheery and he adored that. “you do look beautiful in purple. i bet you do look stunning in a green one.” he smiled. after some hours of talking he fell more and more in love with you, you checked off everything in his list. loves flowers check! beautiful check! loves to read check. there was just one more thing to ask.
“do you like children?” your eyes widened. he already talks of children? you two aren’t even engaged. “i do” you just smiled because yeah you hated love and the idea of marrying but you loved kids, you especially had a soft spot for your aunts twins. she would sometimes bring her baby’s over when she visits you. you loved them. you didn’t have much family. just your dad, uncle and your mothers sister and her twin sons. “how many would you want?” he cleared his throat clearly nervous. you blinked trying to think of what to say. should you be honest or should you be realistic?? but before you could figure it out your brain just muttered it out for you. “four! three boys and one girl” you saw his eyes soften. “I think that’s a perfect amount of children, you’d be a perfect mother.” he touched your hand and for a second it felt like you two were already married and expecting. “uh thank you my lord, im sure you’d be great father.” he blushed.
after a while he talked to your father, then as it was getting late he left. you knew this wasn’t gonna be the last time you see him. oh no! this was just the beginning.
four weeks later
it had only been four weeks since they met but tewkesbury was already one hundred percent sure he wanted you now and forever. so he planned on asking for your hand at tonight’s ball. he was so happy about his future for once. you two would get married in a couple months and then you’d move in with him, you’d start taking on some of the viscountess duty’s and then maybe in a years time…. you’d have children.
an hour passed and he let other men dance with you because he knew you’d be his very very soon. he spotted edmund and informed him of everything. your father was excited he shook the boys hand gave him permission. “you have my blessing” your father happily said while him and tewkesbury raised their cups for a toast. you were dancing with a duke and so very oblivious to what your father agreed to.
after a while you started snacking at the dessert table. there you saw your father and tewkesbury talking but not just how normal gentleman talk like how a family would talk. you wanted to yell at your father and ask him what they were talking about. you were wearing a yellow gown, your father picked it. it wasn’t hideous but still yellow was just not the color you were feeling on this cold fall night. you would’ve wore a dark purple if you had the choice.
you started to feel tired so you walked across the ballroom and alerted your father that you wanted to go home. he grunted probably annoyed at you but he agreed and he apologized to tewkesbury for cutting there conversation short.
•
the carriage ride was peaceful until your father cleared this throat. “I know you’ve only knew the viscount for a while now but-“ you cut him off and this time you were going to be honest. “he’s great father. very handsome and yes he sent me a mountain of gifts but I don’t want to marry him” you’re fathers face turned purple… he was going to freak out. he was going to yell at you and you knew it.
“Being a marchioness is an honor you know!, an honor you will get used to” he calmly said. he didn’t yell. “I don’t want to be married, I’m only eighteen i just left the schoolroom father. can’t i just participate in next year’s season ill be nineteen and ready.” your father scoffed. edmund cleared his throat and simply said. “if the viscount tewkesbury proposes to you…” he huffed. “you will accept with a smile on your face” tears came out of your eyes as you pleaded with him. “do u understand me girl?”
“yes father.” was all you could say. you knew that viscount tewkesbury would propose soon, and you’d have to say yes… with a smile on your face.
•
it was about a week later, it was a friday morning and you got up bathed, brushed your hair and got dressed. the night before your father told you tewkesbury and his mother caroline were coming over for dinner, he also told you to wear your new blue dress with the gold detail. you knew that this was a proposal dinner. you sighed. the ladies maids left your room as you huffed and threw yourself on your bed. hopefully your makeup wasn’t smudged.
you woke up to the sound of your ladies maid calling your name out. “ms bennett? miss? y/n?.” she shook you up. did you seriously fall asleep? “miss it’s been hours the viscount will be here soon, let’s get you freshened up.” you did as she said and to your surprise it was already dark outside… YOU SLEPT THAT LONG??!!!!!. you jumped out of bed and looked in your mirror. “I’ll just fix your hair miss, your makeup is still on” and so you let her. she did it quickly and you thanked her. you basically ran down the stairs into the dinning room.
“daughter our guests will arriving soon, take your seat. if tonight is thee night.. you shall do as your told.” he chuckled drinking the brandy from his cup. “i get it” you sat down and started mentally planning your death. thirty minutes passed and tewkesbury and his mother arrived, you got up from your seat and bowed to them both. caroline walked over to you looking you up and down and she hugged you. it felt nice… motherly love you never got. you hugged back and after a minute or two you both pulled away.
dinner went by fine, your dad and tewkesbury bonded over well… you. you and caroline had so much in common. she told you that in bashilwether they had a french modiste who did amazing dresses with embroidery. dessert came around and it was probably your favorite the chefs ever made. it was a chocolate croissant. after dessert, you four took the party into the living room where you and caroline continued to talk. the night was going well until tewkesbury walked over to you and got down on his knees. “will you do me the honor of becoming- viscountess tewkesbury the marchioness of bashilwether? be my wife??” you looked to your father who gave you a stern look, you wanted to cry.
“yes, i would be honored” caroline cheered and so did your father and the servants. tewkesbury slipped the ring on your finger and got up and hugged you. carrying you and spinning you. you put on a fake smile, this was going to be your new life.
really into me???

tom!peter parker x f!reader
I love the nerdy! peter x popular girl trope sm🥹
i was surprised to see that a woman like that was really into me”
you’ve always been popular, you were pretty but with popularity comes fake friends,people assuming your a bitch and a long list of expectations.
you wore the best clothes, your hair and makeup were always flawless, you wore cute shoes but that’s not why peter liked you, he liked you because one time in biology class he saw you looking at star wars memes and from that day on he was in love and total utterly obsessed with you. also because he thought you were nice and smart but never in a MILLION years would he think you’d like him back .
ur pov
i walked through the long hallway to get to my locker, i needed to get something… a lightsaber, a star wars replica lightsaber. i wanted peter to talk to me. he was nerdy and he liked star wars which is always a green flag in men, i tried dropping hints that i liked him but he just wasn’t getting it. i hope he didn’t have a gf. i see him sit with michelle watson at lunch all the time but they didn’t seem like a couple.
i reach my locker and put in my combo, i open my locker and grab the toy and quickly shove it in my bag, i slam my locker shut and hurry to biology class.
•
you reached your classroom and rushed to your seat and just in time the bell rang loudly. peter grinned as you huffed under your breath, the teacher welcomed everyone and wished them a good afternoon. you tuned her out because honestly you were just looking at peter and you hoped he didn’t notice. when the teacher finished talking and gave everyone instructions for the lesson plan. peter turned to you and began spurring out random facts to put in your notes you smiled at him and to your surprise he smiled widely back at you. you felt your heart race.
when the bell rang and class was dismissed before peter had got up to leave you tapped his shoulder and you pulled out the lightsaber and his eyes lit up. “woah that’s scarily accurate. does it turn on” he said with curiosity. you nodded your head and turned it on and the saber lire bright green. “it’s actually uh for you- you seem like a green lightsaber guy” you smiled way to wide you mentally kicked yourself.
“no uh i couldn’t accept this” he was charming and you just wanted to kiss him then and there. “no please do! i have another at home, blue. like obi wan” you softly chuckled. “do you maybe wanna come over and like hangout”. you retracted the saber and put it in his hands. “yeah” he didn’t expect you to actually say yes. you took a marker from the table and wrote it on a piece of paper. “text me soon parker” you got your bag and left. he was in shock. Ned would never believe this.
•
he almost immediately texted ned and told him everything. ned couldn’t believe it until you waved to him at lunch, ned was now convinced. peter couldn’t wait for your hangout. your friends weren’t supportive of your interest in peter, who you thought was your best friend maddy had actually gagged when you told her you were planning on hanging out with him, sadie thought you were committing social suicide by associating yourself with Peter.
but you didn’t care. you made sure to look extra pretty so you could impress him. you wanted so badly to ask him to the dance but it was to early to tell if he liked you yet, flash asked you twenty times yesterday and you rejected him twenty times. flash sent you roses and chocolate but you thought it was annoying. flash bullied peter and he was just an asshole to everyone who wasn’t popular.
•
your hangout with Peter was a success. you learned so much about him and you were surprised to learn he already knew everything about you. you two became fast friends. you began hanging out with him two times a week. you studied and watch movies, you even went out to dinner with him and his aunt may. did i mention aunt may was basically the biggest peter x y/n shipper. it was prom week and today was the day you mustered up the courage to ask Peter if he wanted to go with you.
**********
you texted peter to meet you in the hallway during 6th period and you anxiously waited. you cleared your throat and practiced how you’d ask him. you feared he’d reject you or what if he laughed in your face? you’ve never feared rejection before but with peter… it was different. he was different then any guy you had liked before, you genuinely liked hanging out with him and you didn’t just like him cus your friend pushed you towards him practically forcing you.
you saw him walking up to you and he smiled. “hi y/n what happened?” you smiled and finally just blurted it out. “do you wanna be my date for prom?” you reached into your pocket and pulled out a keychain. “you have anakin, i have padmé” you showed him. he looked around the hall but nobody was there. “Am i being pranked?” he frowned and sighed. “what no, why would you think that?”.
“because you’re pretty and one of the most popular girls in school, i thought i was just your new charity case” he looked at you and your heart shattered how could he think you were that shallow. “im just surprised that a girl like you would like a guy like me”
“your handsome and smart and charming. that’s why i like you.” his jaw almost dropped. “I like you to a lot y/n”. “then be my anakin at prom? uh that sounded so cringey. Go out with me?” he smiled. “yes. i would love to be your… date.”
UNEDITED AND CRAPPY CUS IM SOO TIRED BUT I JUST WANTD TO GET A MCU IMAGINE OUT. IM GONNA WORK THROUGH ALL MY DRAFTS RN.
DC SMUTS WILL BE OUT SOON INCLUDING A REQUEST I NEGLECTED ( u know who u are) CUS WRITERS BLOCK.. ITS LIKE MY SMUT WRITING SKILLS JUST DISAPPEARED??!!!!! SRRY :( 🖤💗💗
y’all needa read this 😩🫶🏻
after hours (chapter 4)

⯈ previous chapter : chapter one - chapter two - chapter three
⯈ pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x female!reader
⯈ summary: the nights in Gotham are always unforgiving, you, you strip for money, to feed your son and to forget some of your troubles. it's easy, it's simple until Vengeance appears in your night.
⯈ rating: mature, the good stuff starts in this chapter girlies
⯈ tw: stripping, violence, light d/s dynamic (blindfold)
⯈ word count: 6k
⯈ NOTE : the response to the story has been amazing and i'm back with another chapter long as hell, with some smut so hope you like it. tagged ❤️ : @luvmeijii - @blossomedfloweroflove - @deadflowerd - @measure-in-pain - @yuki235171 - @daryldixonstorm - @alicefallsintotherabbithole - @pop-rocks-and-skittles - @snowflames-world - @ticktikboom - @mischiefmanaged71 - @mr-robot-x - @shirukitsune - @thelastofkryze - @jimmorrison13 - @satans-butthole666 - @nowayhomerry - @loverofminesworld - @duwcsd - @lanatheawesome - @darling-imobsessed - @deadsounds-andbones - @lecterloveswill - @theoddcafe - @temptation-waits - @twinkletoes718 - @ancientimes - @binxy - @noble-rebel-heart - @verymuchsugoi - @archive504 - @jupiterredolent - @xl4ud1a - @sparrowwithaquill - @daddysfangirls - @poseidons-goddess - @kylieinwonderland - @glizzygobbla - @softpascall - @xoxoloverb - @flyforeverfree - @palladium-pineapple - @pleasantcandcandybear - @t0r - @lover4jane - @averagethottie - @janesofia7 - @sleepycatboo - @mello-d - @poseiodons-goddess - @deadsounds-andbones - @appapillowpetblogs - @tatammonita - @siriuslydestiny - @yoshinorecommends - @ummiii - @aesthetics-blue - ❤️❤️ to be added to the tag list : click here
You wait for him.
Yes, you wait for Vengeance to come back, in the semi-darkness of that luxurious garden and you don’t know how long you wait but the longer you’re alone, the more aware you become of your surroundings. It starts slowly, gradually even. First, the siren sound startles you a little bit, you swear you can hear some things falling to the ground, harshly, brutally, and then, there’s a gust of wind in your hair. Blowing the hair into your face and you move it away slightly, with one hand, with shaky fingers because you’re cold. You don’t have your shoes, you did abandon them in your failed attempt to run away and your bare feet are now wet, deep into the freshly cut grass and you probably going to catch something if you remain like this for too long.
But Vengeance asked you to wait. So you do as you’ve been told. You wait. Shaking and hoping, shaking and praying not knowing what to expect for the rest of the evening, not knowing if you’ll finally reach your bed, your home, back to your son. You were so stupid, why do you always do this at night? You have no idea, the club should have been enough, the club is somewhat safe. What if you do end up in jail?
Mind racing, heart beating almost as frantically, you think about the kiss, you cling to it, it doesn’t make any god damn sense, but it’s something grounding you, grounding you into the moment, into the present, something real, something that’s not just in your mind, something you actually shared with someone during the night. Something concrete and real, more intimate than anything share with any of your customers. It’s different. One hand finds your own lips, Vengeance, you decide, kisses as if he were only given one chance to kiss you.
***
The wait is killing you slowly. But he does appear again, and you stand a bit taller as he walks towards you and doesn’t even pause, doesn’t even stop, and grabs your left hand, growling a simple “follow me” and he leads the way back to the mansion. You fight down the urge to beg, you don’t want to see what’s left inside, and you certainly don’t want to be seen by the police.
However, you do want to follow him, you want to follow the bat so you suppose you don’t have a choice.
The party is indeed over inside, it’s a mess, it’s a filthy mess of broken glass and dollars bills, and … is that blood? It is and you don’t even flinch at the sight of it, there’s a lot, probably enough to fill up a sink and the thought is not even scary, it’s just there and you tap on his shoulder when you spot your belongings. Your dress, your coat, and your bag, which means your phone and some part of your life.
“Wait, that’s mine, let me just...”
You swear he winces a little but he lets go of you for a moment so you can grab everything, you do so as fast as you can and if you catch him looking down at the pretty dress, it doesn’t last long.
“Let’s go,” the bat mumbles and you have no choice but to follow again. You’re surprised when he leads you outside, by the front door, glad he’s holding your hand and when you spot out of the corner of your eyes the officers in uniform, you look down, at your naked feet, hoping no one will pay attention to you, that no one will ask for your name or try to interact with you.
It seems to work for the most part, you suspect it’s because of him, because of the Batman, they make way for him, make a conscious effort to avoid his path, and let him walk through and you swear you see a few people in handcuffs and sitting at the back of some cars. Where’s Natasha? You wonder if she managed to escape the madness, you’d have to check up on her at some point, you are almost certain she would have done the same for you, almost.
“What about this one?”
He stops, you stop too and you raise your head to see that you’re in front of someone not wearing a uniform, someone with glasses, and you’re pretty sure, from reading the newspaper sometimes that the black man talking about you is no other than Lieutenant Jim Gordon, a close ally to the bat.
“I’m taking care of it,” he responds and everything from his tone to his posture indicates that it’s not up for discussion. Jim however tries, arguing with a simple “she was on the scene, she might have s…”
“She didn’t. And regardless, she won’t talk to you.” There’s some ferocity to his tone, something dark and twisted and somehow protective and you suppose that it’s enough, you don’t see the look he exchanges with the Lieutenant but that seems to do the trick because Jim just sighs and motions for the both of you to get out of here. And you do, he leads the way and you follow him and you’re not even surprised when you’re standing in front of a car, black, just like the rest of him, clearly more powerful than any other car in sight. You can tell from the wheels and by the general exterior of the car.
“Get in.”
And you understand that this time again, it’s an order.
***
You don’t know where he drives you to. It’s not too far away from the mansion you’ve just visited, on the outskirts of town, deep, deep underground and you are a little bit startled as the car seems to reach a large platform and you go down. An elevator, you realize a second later, to be away from everything and everyone.
You wonder how many people got to come here, how many people does he bring here? Probably not too many, probably not too many lost souls in Gotham, anyone sane would have run away, would have preferred the police over the bat, but ironically, you don’t feel in danger.
When he gets out of the vehicle, he doesn’t seem to pay attention to you for a while. He moves, swiftly in the semi-darkness and turns on a few lights, giving the atmosphere an eerie look, with a halo of blue that surrounds everything. Or maybe it’s because of all the computers and the monitors playing some kind of video… the streets of Gotham you gather as you step out of the vehicle. You leave your belongings in his car and you step inside his cave? his lair? barefoot, jacket on your shoulders, still wearing nothing underneath it but your stripper outfit, hair pushed to one side of your face. You can feel some of your makeup sliding off your skin and you wonder what you look like.
It doesn’t matter now, you take a few timid steps inside, towards him, he’s removing his cape you realize, and slowly, piece by piece, his armor. You wonder if he will take off his mask.
He doesn’t but the armor goes away, leaving him with what you could only describe as a black wet suit, all tight and still menacing as the previous armor. He doesn’t look less large or less frightening, this is just another side of him.
He’s showing you his back and you stop staring and look around. The streets of the city appear busy on the screens, and he has a bed on the corner of the room, it’s just a king-size mattress on the floor but it’s made nonetheless, with more pillows than you could ever imagine there’s even a fridge. That is really a cave.
“What were you doing there?”
The bat is whispering and yet it’s almost as if he had screamed the question right into your heart, it echoes all around you and you can’t help but feel this wave of guilt washing over you. That’s new, you stopped feeling guilty for your mistakes when you realized they paid your rent and put food on the table.
“Working. Dancing. It’s Friday night… what’s a girl supposed to do, right?”
You play it off but you’re still shaking, you wish you were better than this, you wish Bruce had shown up and you wouldn’t be having this conversation with the bat. It’s more a scolding than a conversation.
“You seem to be attracting only the company of known felons and their associates.”
“Well, if you know anyone else who’s ready to pay upfront for a lapdance in Gotham, call me, in the meantime, it’s the kind of people I have to deal with.”
“You don’t have to, you choose to.”
“Don’t… don’t do that, don’t act like this is all black and white, right or wrong,” you start, wishing he would just turn around and actually look at you, like you were actually there and not just a ghost. “I do my job, I get paid, I take care of the people depending on me… I thought at least you could understand that.”
He turns at that, he finally looks at you, still wearing his mask, more vulnerable without the armor, you don’t know who’s behind the layers of darkness, behind the violence and the righteousness. You don’t know and you should be scared, that’s not what’s moving you right now.
“I do understand, it’s still not safe.”
“What you do isn’t safe either, who’s worrying about you?”
You don’t control the words and you certainly don’t control what you do next, he seems to have the same idea because you meet in the middle, you crash into his chest, your hands meeting muscles, his on your hips and you look up. Still, so much unknown, still so many questions you want to ask, but you don’t. Not when he’s looking at you like that, not when it’s clear you’re both broken pieces of something that was destroyed a long time ago.
“Kiss me again,” you hear yourself whisper.
And he complies without a single trace of hesitation. The bat kisses you again, and it’s as intense as before, it’s rough when his mouth meets yours, he presses his gloveless hands into your back and you shiver as he peels the jacket away from your shoulders and he finds your skin. His hands are warm and you’re so cold, so cold and you need all of him. That’s the only thought on your mind as you make yourself taller, on your tiptoes to meet him with the same intensity, your lips moving in unison with his and finding everything in that embrace.
You gasp and you moan softly against him, arms around his neck the very next second and you think your knees are going to give away, but he’s here. He’s right there, he circles your waist and so easily, he picks you up from the ground and leads the way. You kiss everything that you can reach while he drags you to his bed, his chin, the corner of his mouth, his lips, his jawline, you want everything, you want to map out everything you can see and you can reach, just to play it in your head over and over, every night until your mind goes either crazy or blank. You suck on his Adam’s apple last, because why not that’s something you can reach too, and the strangled sound he makes leads you to believe he wasn’t expecting that, not at all. You want to hear that sound again, you want to drive Vengeance insane, but before you can do that, he lays you down on the mattress and next thing you know, he’s on top of you once more.
Except the dance is very different this time, you part your legs so easily and he fits in between them like he was meant to be there, you circle his waist with your legs and your lips meet again. It’s a discovery and yet again, your entire body shiver, yet again, you move when he moves, following his lips on your lips, his chest pressed against yours, one of his hand in your hair and the other one on your hips, trying to hold your down. Because you’ve never felt more alive than right now and you are trying to wrap all of you around all of him, and you need more. You need to see him, you need to see his skin and sink your teeth into it, mark him like he’s marked you, and then move on.
You claw at the suit he still has on, you’re more exposed than him and that’s not fair but he grabs your hands, slowing you down in a way and you exchange a puzzled look. He moves away from the bed next and you moan in protest, only to have him, the bat, come back to you, holding something in his hands. It takes you a few seconds of breathing harshly and loudly to realize that he has a scarf in hand and softly, still with that low voice of his, he asks you to close your eyes.
You could say no, you know you have the option but you don’t want to come down from that high and you nod and finally close your eyes. He moves you so slowly on the mattress and next thing you know, the soft fabric is on your face, covering your eyes and he ties a simple knot at the back of your head, still strong and you’re blindfolded, completely in the dark this time.
“Is this okay?”
“Yes.”
Your reply is instant, almost too instant however you feel more at ease now that you’ve ever been with any of your previous partners, you figure.
You don’t know why, the darkness doesn’t scare you and you can hear him, right above you, breathing as hard as you, and you slowly raise one hand to his chest, his heart is beating as fast as yours. Is he scared? Excited? Anxious? You suppose it’s a combination of all of that, slowly, you continue to touch, you continue to map out your surroundings, of him, right above you and you gently trace the line of his neck. You feel the bat swallow and you make a point of making your touch gentle right there because he has nothing to fear, absolutely nothing to fear.
You feel him relax, right there, and you continue your exploration. Again, it’s that jawline, strong and defined. You’ve learned to identify it and you trace it as well with your fingertips and you hear his breath quicken before you can feel it. You keep going up, to both of his cheeks, you trace the cheekbones and as you go up, tracing his nose completely, you realize that the mask is off. It makes you smile, he can probably see it and you don’t stop there, he closes his eyes for you as you gently touch them too, and then his eyebrows, his forehead, and his hair. It’s him, it’s all of him, you don’t get to see yet but in a way you do, in a way you get to know him behind the mask. Not just darkness, not just Vengeance, just a man.
It shouldn’t be this enticing but it is and you guide him to you for a kiss, it’s slower this time, there is less urgency, you get to explore and map out his mouth, his lips in a way you haven’t done before. And not seeing anything, makes the experience ten times more real, more present. You hear everything single sound and intonation he makes softly as if he was kissing for the first time and being surprised and delighted by the comfort and the warmness of it all, there’s his body pressed against yours, all muscles and if he should feel heavy, it doesn’t, you love the weight, that slow ache and you know you’re going to miss it the next night, that and his perfume. It’s sweat, tears, and blood and something else, something just him. He guides your hands during the next long and intense series of kisses, to the zipper of his suit and you help him strip down as much as you can.
He’s away for a few moments, your air is just yours and it’s not a pleasant sensation, you’re glad when you feel him close again and you moan as you feel his naked shoulders just ready for you to trace and to explore. You do just that, you take your time again and your hands move from his shoulders to his collarbone and lower. He’s just hard lines of muscles and scars. So many scars. Some are tiny and light, others deep and long, and you don’t think you would be able to count them but you do your best to find every single one of them in the dark and give it the proper attention. He’s not completely naked you realize, he just pushed the wet suit to his hips, exposing his bare chest to you and you smile as he moans when you reach the lower part of his abdomen. He hides his face in the crook of your neck, you can feel it and you turn your head to one side, giving him the proper access, as he bruises your skin with your hips. Yes, you think, nails digging deep into the skin of his back, he’s going to leave a mark and give you something to remember him by.
He doesn’t stop there no, the sounds he makes are animalistic in a way, they make your stomach and your toes curl in a very special way and you can feel yourself getting affected by all of that attention and the sounds he makes. It gets worse, or is it better, when the bat moves from your neck to your own collarbone and then lower, to your chest. Your outfit is not hiding much and you swear, you can feel him look up to you before he pushes the fabric of the bra to one side and his mouth is right there, on one of your nipples. You moan, like never before, arching against his mouth, hands deep inside his hair, pulling and breathing hard. You can’t see anything but you feel everything, and you can picture it, him lapping at your chest like it’s going to give him the meaning of life itself. “You taste so good,” he whispers against your skin and you think you’re going to die right here and now because you’ve never heard anything hotter in your entire life.
You stay there on this mattress with him, burying both your hands deep inside his hair and you can’t do anything else but moan as he explores and his mouth roams on your skin, kissing and tasting anything he wants. Your other nipple gets the same treatment and he makes a low sound, coming from deep in his throat that it shadows the rest and the way you’re shivering and the way you want him so badly. His mouth trails between your chest and to your stomach and with any other man, you’d be self-conscious, about the fact that you’ve had a baby and that you’re not as pretty as you used to be, not tonight, tonight you feel like a fucking goddess. Especially when he finally comes back to your face, kissing you hard again, stealing all your air, and pinning you so forcefully to the mattress that all you can feel, hear and breathe is just him. And you want nothing else, you cling to his shoulders for dear life and you let him kiss you, let him crush you completely, and when you feel his hardness pressed against you, against your inner thigh, you can’t fight down the urge to grind against it, against him.
You’re rewarded by another series of low sounds and kisses, as you move and if it’s supposed to stop you, it’s quite the opposite. Your hips meet his easily in this position and you can’t help but smile when he shifts his body to rub right against your thin underwear the right way the very next moment, clearly in need of a release. You want that and so much more and your press your feet on his lower back and you encourage him and you moan loudly as you feel his teeth sink into your neck. It’s not too hard, it’s perfect and if you do bleed, you’re glad, you’re glad he’s taking exactly what he needs from you, and from no one else. It’s almost as if you were one, almost, there’s no rhythm, no sense of logic as you move together, shivering because of the friction between your two bodies, needing more, wanting more. He could push the underwear to the side and take you right there and right and you would let him. Just like that, blindfolded, arms around his neck, legs around his waist, it’s all you need really.
You can tell he is close by his labored breathing and his erratic movements and you kiss him right before he reaches bliss, you manage to grab his face and plant your mouth against his and you feel him break above you, break and moan into your mouth, shivering against you and finally, finally, giving some sense to your night.
You don’t even mind that the bat collapses on top of you or that it’s still dark. You don’t mind.
***
You eventually fall asleep with Vengeance partly still on you. Still breathing on top of you. With the blindfold still on. You don’t know what to say, you don’t know what you’re supposed to say but you do feel better. At peace in a way, it’s still dark all around you, it’s still night outside.
Except you’re not alone.
He’s with you.
And you fall asleep on that thought alone.
You do wake up moving, you frown and you have one hand to your eyes, rubbing them slowly and it gives you enough time to feel the kiss he presses to your forehead and to slowly take into account the fact that you’re not in his bed anymore. Leather seat, probably his car, and … you’re wearing something. That definitely wakes you up and you can’t help but smile fondly when you take in the GCPD shirt that you are wearing, a bit too large for you, same for the pants. Your belongings are in a bag by your feet and when you turn your head to the right, you can see the bat driving.
The mask is back on, as well as the suit, and the full armor, and more than ever, he seems unreachable. Unbreakable. Too powerful to be touched by anyone, let alone by you.
He’s staring ahead as you make your way back up and when you’re finally outside, you glance ahead as well, staring at the Gotham skyline and the sudden truth that the night has ended. It’s the early morning now, it’s probably 4 or 5 am and you can’t help but sigh deeply. Back to reality, it is.
He drives fast, too fast, you should say something but you don't. You should probably say goodbye when he stops in front of a station, but you don’t. You don’t know what to say, the night has been long, and ended up on a high note, you wish you didn’t have responsibilities and you could just lean in, kiss him and ask for another night like this. You don’t, when the car finally comes to a halt, you stare at each other for too long and when you can see him opening his mouth, you nod no.
You don’t want to hear any apologies, you don’t want him to ask you if you’re okay or to tell you that last night shouldn’t have happened or it was a one-time thing. He can’t predict that, the bat has shown you another side of him last night and you’re going to be greedy when the next night comes. It’s all you can say for now.
“Come find me some time, okay?”
You leave him with that and a nod and finally, grabbing everything you own, you exit the car. And you do your best not to look back.
The trip back home is quicker than expected. You keep replaying last night in your mind, him on top of you, the bat groaning in your ear, biting your neck… and it’s all so much that you almost miss your stop but finally, you’re there.
Eventually, you’re in front of your own apartment door, about to turn the key in and you decide that lying will be the best policy for your mother and your son. Tell them that Bruce never showed up, that you spent the night with friends and you forgot the time because you finally had some time with other adults. That seems reasonable enough.
And you’re not going to think about Batman.
Not at home.
Taking a final deep breath, you open the door and you creep inside. Everyone is still soundly asleep and it’s good. You go to your room as slowly and quietly as possible and finally, you take out everything that was in the bag the bat gave you. Your dress will need to be dry cleaned and as for your work outfit well… you shove it in your laundry basket with some force. Before heading to the bathroom, you let the hot water run in the shower cabin first and you glance at your own reflection.
You are… a mess. Your hair has seen better days as well as your skin in general and … you pause as you notice several bruises on your neck and a biting mark.
No, you’re definitely not thinking about that.
You hop in the shower trying to keep your mind as empty as possible and you scrub yourself as hard as you can trying to push the thoughts away. Telling yourself that you can not think of the bat here, here, you’re a mother, you’re an adult, and you do know better. Than making out with a random stranger and let him blindfold you.
Everyone is still asleep when you step outside the bathroom wrapped in a towel and you head for your bedroom, getting into some comfortable pajamas and doing your best to fall asleep.
It does work and your son is the one to wake you up a few hours later. He wants to know everything about the opera and apparently, his grandma made pancakes. You have no choice but to follow, with a yawn, grateful for the hugs and for the food you see when you step into the kitchen.
“Long night? I didn’t even hear you coming in,” comments your mother.
And for the most part, you hide in your coffee and your food, because you’re tired and it’s not because you’re good at lying to them that you enjoy it. But they do seem to buy it, your silly little excuse and Bruce not showing up, your son seems disappointed for a minute or two and you change the subject to what you are going to do this weekend instead of dwelling on that. Your mother stares at you for a bit too long but she remains silent for the most part, only joining in to remind your son of his homework and the fact that no, you can’t skip church yet again on Sunday.
As if God were about to save you. As if.
***
For the most part, you do a pretty good job of not thinking about the bat. A very good job, it’s only when you curl up in bed that Saturday evening that he lingers into your thoughts and you can’t help but press your own fingers to your neckline, wishing he were here.
A silly thought. That you push away. You also fight the urge to go down to the club, deciding that you really need to stay out of trouble, for your own good.
And you absolutely do not think about Bruce Wayne at all.
That is except for his insistent calling. It starts after breakfast, the very same morning after the bat drops you off. You miss his calls simply because you’re watching TV and your phone is in another room, abandoned. A few hours later, you have a few missed calls from the Wayne, a few…
And really, you get it, he didn’t promise anything and he is a very busy man, you’re just not in the right headspace to answer. Except that he does call again a few hours later. And again. You should probably do something about it but you decide to turn your phone off.
It’s silly, you’re being stupid, but you simply don’t know what to say. Oh yeah no, it’s okay you canceled what I thought was going to be a date, I just ended up kissing Gotham’s vigilante instead… anyway, how was your weekend? Promised or not, you do feel guilty, and the last thing that you want to hear is Bruce, being perfectly reasonable, a gentleman even, and letting you off the hook.
So you don’t answer, you don't plan to, you help your son with his homework, you even make an appearance at church with your mother that Sunday and you do not think about it at all. Bruce or Vengeance, you don’t trust your mind or your heart, either way, to do anything about it.
***
So another week rolls in, and suddenly it's Monday.
Suddenly you're back at your day job and that afternoon is even more boring than usual, you sit behind the counter of the small shop, selling candies to kids and beers to people who should probably be working harder than you. You don't care, you're getting paid and you're being safe. It starts pouring down rain eventually, like it always does in this goddamn town and you turn on the TV to drown the sound. Except that you almost drop a bottle of water that you were handing to a customer when you spot the bat, Vengeance himself on TV. It's just a blurry picture, and it's followed by a journalist, informing the viewers of Batman's latest antics and how he helped the police over the weekend to put some hard felons behind bars. Apparently, they were having the party of the century.
It sends a chill down your spine, an actual one, knowing you were so close to the action, you were so close to being caught yourself and it could have all ended right there and then.
This is why you're not calling Bruce back, he is good in a way, almost too good, he has a future ahead of him, you? You're not so sure, the last thing you want to do is taint him. So you sigh and you turn off the TV and you focus on the rest of the shift. You start cleaning to keep yourself busy and when your colleague shows up for his night shift, he is impressed, you must have been either really bored or really motivated. His words, not yours, you needed to focus on something that was not you for a few hours and you shrug, wish him a good night, and head home.
It's still raining when you step out, it's light, so light, in fact, you could believe it was not in fact raining but your face gets damp in a matter of minutes and you accelerate your pace, you just want to curl up on the couch and listen to your son tell you about his day, his perfect day. That's all that you need at the moment. The only thing you can think about so you really don't expect the black familiar car parked in front of your building, and you certainly do not expect the door to open as you approach the building and you certainly do not expect to see Bruce stepping out of his car, eyes on you.
“Hello,” he offers with one of his hesitant smiles and you don't know what to say for a few seconds. Your right hand is on the door, you're ready to go home and forget about the world, but he's here. A few days late, you can't help but think and you want to roll your eyes at yourself, because you have no reason to be upset with him, especially with how you did occupy your time in his absence.
"Hello," you whisper back, he probably didn't hear it. But he makes a step in your direction regardless, always, wearing black, the jacket he currently has on is too big for him and you suddenly wonder if he owns anything in his size. He looks so... lost? Out of place? With his baggy clothes and the damp black hair stuck on his face and his eyes glued on you.
"Is this a bad time?" Bruce asks out loud and you nod no before you realize it, you force yourself to take a deep breath and let go of the handle, stepping in his direction. Back into the cold and back into the rain, somehow, it doesn't feel like that. "I just thought... because you didn't text me back..."
"I've been busy," that's a bald-faced lie and if he suspects it, he doesn't interject, doesn't protest, it's his turn to nod and your eyes remain on him as you watch the gears turn and he makes his own reflection. He looks at his shoes, then backs up at you, frowning slightly. His face is so open, so earnest, that you can see he clearly is confused by your answer and maybe hurt, why is Bruce so easy to read? That's a question for another moment, he's about to open his mouth and you interrupt him.
"Don't, don't apologize, you're a busy man, I get it, it wasn't that important.
"It was." He interjects, sounding dead serious. "Let me make it up to you."
"That's not..."
“Please?"
He asks simply, he begs even and it's not the word itself that stuns you, but everything it seems to carry, Bruce's intense gaze is still on you, you didn't even realize he took another step in your direction, didn't realize that you could actually push the hair away from his face from that distance and you do it before you can stop yourself, because there is no way he can see you properly and it's such a contrast to... the rest of your life. It's not messy, it's not complicated, he clearly is sorry, and he apparently wants to spend time with you, no lies, no darkness, no mask, just him.
"Okay, fine, we can do a do-over, but no opera, something simple, if you can think of simple," you joke at the end to lighten the mood and because he can't keep staring at you like that, you might ask him to do it all night long if he keeps going.
"Something simple, yes, I'll text you."
"And I'll answer this time."
He nods, it feels like a goodbye and before you can say the word, Bruce leans in, and he plants a kiss on the corner of your mouth. It's quick, it's sudden, it's over before it even began, and just like that, he flashes you a smile and climbs back into your car. Did you... did you just agree to actually have an actual date with him? While you recently spent the night in Gotham's vigilante lair? Yeah, you think as you finally push the door, there is something wrong with you.