Stormlight Characters Switch Roles For A Day

Stormlight Characters Switch Roles for a Day

As request by anon. :) [Some spoilers for Stormlight! Includes some roles people only have in later books]

It's important to me for you all to know that these combos were generated by a random number generator. Here is how fate (=random number generator) has decreed that Stormlight characters will be swapped around! How will they do in their new job?

1. Renarin takes on Jasnah's role as Queen of Alethkar

Renarin: [smiling beatifically] Rlain: You're stressed out of your mind, aren't you? Renarin (calmly): I am about to vibrate out of my skin, yeah. Rlain: Does it help that we already have three preemptive surrenders from nations who "don't want to risk angering the all-seeing prophetic god-king of Alethkar"? Renarin: What?! Rlain: Just kidding. Rlain: ...There's only been one surrender so far. Renarin: ... Renarin: I didn't even SAY anything!

2. Navani takes on Kaladin's role as leader of Bridge 4

Navani (Hour 1): I'm not a commander, of course. I'll stay out of the way and allow Teft and the other lieutenants to handle things. Navani (Hour 4): I'm not a commander, of course, but I have suggested a few small improvements. If Teft and the other lieutenants can make them work, then that's great. Navani (Hour 8): With the help of Teft and the other lieutenants, we have created nineteen new devices that have improved the efficiency of Bridge 4 by 35%. I'm so glad I can support them in some small way. Navani (Hour 12): Wait a second...I'm actually amazing at this.

3. Shallan takes on Adolin's role as duelist

Jakamov stands in the dueling ring, frozen. The 7 Shallans surround him, taunting him. One of them seems to know all of his secrets. One of them wears the face of an old girlfriend whom he ghosted. One of them has his mother's frown--only her frown. All of them have swords. All of them are watching him. Shallan (actually up in the stands): I'm so great at this, actually. Adolin: Shallan...he's crying.

4. Dalinar takes on Shallan's role as Ghostblood spy

Dalinar tramps into a seedy bar. Everyone takes one look at him and immediately they all file out. He is alone. Dalinar: ... Dalinar: And I wore a fake mustache and everything.

5. Teft takes on Dalinar's role as leader of Urithiru

Teft: Kal...congratulations on becoming the leader of Urithiru. Kaladin: I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS

6. Szeth takes on Navani's role as artefabrian

Navani: Well...you've certainly been...busy. Szeth: I am physically incapable of not giving a role my all. Navani: So... Navani: ... Navani: They're all complicated instruments of horrible death, huh? Szeth: I like the one with the spring.

7. Sadeas takes on Szeth's role as the Assassin in White

Sadeas: Ialai...can you have your assassins kill all these men? Ialai: Already sent 'em out. Sadeas: I love you! Sadeas: Wow...this job was so easy and not emotionally taxing in the slightest.

8. Leshwi takes on Sadeas' role as betrayer of Dalinar

Leshwi: I feel like........I'm just going to fly down and stab him. Leshwi: Well, after I introduce myself of course. Leshwi: And allow him to summon his sword for an honorable duel. Lezian: You suck at betrayal. Leshwi: ...Thank you?

9. Rlain takes on Wit's role as the King's/Queen's Wit

Rlain: I see that you have chosen to wear yellow to this feast. Rlain: It was a good choice. It looks nice on you. Wit: I want to cry. Rlain: What? I said it to Amusement.

10. Wit takes on Rock's role as Bridge 4's cook

Wit: As a vegetarian whose morals are supernaturally enforced...I'm gonna introduce you all to a little something I call "Tofu." Rock: YOU'RE FIRED

11. Jasnah takes on Teft's role as Kaladin's lieutenant

Jasnah (holding an enormous notebook): I have some suggestions...Captain. Kaladin: M-My life is flashing before my eyes!

12. Adolin takes on Lirin's role as ultra-pacifist doctor

Adolin: Okay, but...dueling is pacifist, right? No one dies. Lirin: Play-violence is still violence! People get injured and it's so horrible and pointless! Adolin: What about fighting but, like, noble fighting? Lirin: D-Do you know what pacifist MEANS? Adolin: But my sword is my best friend! Lirin: ...every day the Almighty tests my patience.

13. Lirin takes on Renarin's role as Prophet of the Everstorm

Lirin: ...and that is how and why I know that something bad is coming, and why I think you need to prepare to save everyone. Dalinar: Wow...you just...said all that. To me. Directly. With details. Lirin: I understand that you may choose to execute me for blasphemy or whatever, but I couldn't sit back and allow people to die for my own comfort. Dalinar: What a mature and straightforward way to handle that!

14. Rock takes on Rlain's roll as "Parshendi" spy

Rock: Here are everyone's secrets! Rlain: I am...impressed. How did you get all this intelligence so quickly? Rock: People LOVE talking to the cook!

15. Kaladin takes on Leshwi's role as leader of shanay-im

Kaladin: So...you guys...can't die? Shanay-im guy: That is correct. Kaladin (tears welling up in his eyes): S-So...I can be commander of a squad where...no one ever dies? I-Is this happening? Shanay-im guy: However, we have to kill someone and take over their body to return. Kaladin: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

One thing I haven’t seen anyone question in the latest Game Changer episode is Sam - his performance feels a little off. I think he might be being played by someone else as a big plot twist for part 2

Imagine being the space ship captain from Yumi and the Nightmare Painter.

You just spent all this time and effort making the impossible possible, stretching the limits of technology, going farther than any before you has. You achieve your goal, meet an entirely new alien race, beginning a new era of discovery and wonder for both worlds and then you get back and... people already forgot about all of that because, somehow, the entire environment of the world shifted while you were gone. And you can't even get mad at them for it because the entire (lowly) sky has changed colors and yeah, that's a pretty big deal!

So to cheer yourself up you go to this great noodle place you know, the one with the hostess who has mathematically incredible curves (highly) and that delightfully quirky coat rack. Turns out it's now run by some punk (lowly) kid and his girlfriend who got rid of the coat rack are now talking about putting in an art museum?!?!

Unfair (lowest).

*Dalinar giving everyone but Sebarial a good pep talk before a war*

Sebarial: Where the hell is my impassioned speech?

Dalinar: Go to your tent and don't get in the way.

Sebarial, genuinely: Perfect!

Bugs Bunny could have simply walked into Mordor. He would have shown up at the gates of Mordor in a disguise and been like "Evil volcano inspection unit" and flashed a fake ID badge to the confused orc.

Cosmere-Themed "Would You Rather" Questions

How would you respond to these tough questions?

1. Would you rather

-Do something that genuinely makes Kaladin smile or -Write something that genuinely impresses Jasnah?

2. Would you rather

-Take the place of Taln, Bearer of Agonies, on Braize for one day or -Date Amaram--while convincingly pretending to be in love with him--for one year?

3. Would you rather

-Become a Drab in return for you and your family being set for life or -Get any wish granted by the Nightwatcher in return for a guaranteed curse?

4. Would you rather

-Be a Mistborn or -Be a Radiant (Order of your choosing)?

5. Would you rather

-Have Hoid consider you an enemy and be out to get you or -Have Kelsier consider you an enemy and be out to get you?

6. Would you rather

-Strictly follow a Vorin woman's diet or -Strictly follow a Vorin man's diet?

7. Would you rather

-Have Hesina as your mom or -Have Rock as your dad?

8. Would you rather

-Be born into Era 1 Scadrial or -Be born into Canticle (Sunlit Man world)?

9. Would you rather

-Have the immortality of a Returned (gorgeous, healthy, living in luxury--but you have to steal a Breath a week, usually from children, to survive) or -Have the immortality of a kandra (shapeshifting, strong--but can have your autonomy overwritten by Harmony)?

10. Would you rather

-Have Sanderson canonize your favorite non-canon ship or -Have Sanderson guarantee that a character of your choosing will survive until the end of their natural life and die of natural causes?

11. Would you rather

-Be tossed into Elantris with the Shaod or -Be assigned to Sadeas' bridge crews?

12. Would you rather

-Eat Design's noodles or -Eat Rock's stew?