I Was Having A Shit Day And This Singlehandedly Added 100yrs To My Life Also Thank You For Giving Him

i was having a shit day and this singlehandedly added 100yrs to my life also thank you for giving him eyebrows

smonker

having watched punk hazard and just rewatched stampede, we need to talk more abt how much of a literal SASSPOT smoker is. like holy cannoli this guy is just so smug sometimes it's the GREATEST thing known to man

some notable lines:

"i'm listening" (vaguely sultry, while law is explaining a plan, one boot on top of buggy)

"well, you can tell me at least" (still vaguely sultry, law still explaining plan)

"what now, genius?!" (to law while they are in total freefall)

"i can do both" (somewhat sultry? to hina when she asks him to do his job and not his super secret personal agenda)

"doesn't sound like much of a plan but what can i say" (hilarious. talking shit abt law's plan to his face)

"you little-" (to sabo after being called "smokey")

"were you trying to fly into his fist?" (upon luffy getting smacked by douglas bullet)

"can someone stop him? moron, he never learns" (affectionate, but luffy getting smacked again)

"i'm so sick of running from this crap" (on punk hazard running from the poison gas for the 80th time)

"undone by your own powers, huh? that is some record-breaking stupidity" (stuck in the cage in punk hazard w law. this one is GENUINELY MY FAVORITE, ITS SO OUT OF POCKET)

"quiet, dumbass! stupid pirates, don't you realize the gravity of the situation here?" (to luffy. need i say more)

"QUIT YOUR BITCHING! YOU FOOLS COULDN'T STEAL CANDY FROM A BABY! you're not even worth suspecting🙄" (yelling at the G-5, one of my fav lines as well)

"you don't get to lecture me on the law" (i can't remember this one verbatim but towards the start of PH, aimed at the G-5)

- calls pretty much everyone younger than him (aka everyone) a "punk"

- says "crap" a lot bc PG-13 but absolutely means "shit". please let him say shit. just ONCE

- also lots of "well, damn" or "i'll be damned", sometimes in just the most (un)impressed voice and it makes me giggle

he probably has some zingers in loguetown and elsewhere (maybe his brief appearance in marineford) but these are all i can think of for now. anyway please spread smug smoker far and wide and never forget how insanely sassy this 36 year old dilf is

“ Let me put myself in your shoes,

As a puppet loosely strung.

Around you they were so confused

That a faulty man could have so much fun. “

⚔️ •••••••• ⚔️

reblogs appreciated, i worked really hard on this! <3

hey there! hope everything is great with you; i just wanted to let you know that I recently finished your First & Last series and it was one of the most incredible reading journeys i’ve ever been on! Tharya and Miraak were brought to life through your writing in a manner i’ve rarely seen in any text, fanfiction or otherwise. Every story made me laugh and cry, both from joy and sadness, and i’m sure i’ll be rereading the series for years to come. I hope that you revisit our favorite dragonborns if the inspiration strikes you, but the series is still perfect as it is if you don’t. best of luck with your education/career, and thank you for giving this stressed student a wonderful adventure to read!!

WOW HELLO????!!!! OMG!!!

first of all, thank you SO SO SO much for your kindest words!!!! i love getting these asks and texts from after the fact of people reading the whole series - that's a HUGE commitment and i am endlessly grateful people got as invested in tharya & miraak as i did (and am!). i laughed and cried while writing and i'm so glad to hear that emotion came across. so thank YOU so so much for your support and for reading!!

i actually do really want to revisit them sometime soon, i've left a short minific (the arms of chaos) on hiatus for a quite bit but it's been creeping back into my thoughts lately. but i'm quite busy currently so i'm not sure when that will be, so keep an eye out 😎😎

of course if you have any IDEAS or things you'd like to see me write for them, i'm always open to it (and honestly it only feels right as a reward for reading that whole mess of a series lol) from one stressed student to another, thank you so much and stay in touch!!!🤩🤩🤩

tired of blue from blues clues not being a beloved tumblr dog. she is literally everything