Hes Just Like Me For Real - Tumblr Posts
I want to do that but my parents call me 🥲
Hera: i called you three times. why didn’t you answer?
Hephaestus: I deleted the phone function off my phone
Hera: what?
Hephaestus: I don’t want phone calls
having watched punk hazard and just rewatched stampede, we need to talk more abt how much of a literal SASSPOT smoker is. like holy cannoli this guy is just so smug sometimes it's the GREATEST thing known to man
some notable lines:
"i'm listening" (vaguely sultry, while law is explaining a plan, one boot on top of buggy)
"well, you can tell me at least" (still vaguely sultry, law still explaining plan)
"what now, genius?!" (to law while they are in total freefall)
"i can do both" (somewhat sultry? to hina when she asks him to do his job and not his super secret personal agenda)
"doesn't sound like much of a plan but what can i say" (hilarious. talking shit abt law's plan to his face)
"you little-" (to sabo after being called "smokey")
"were you trying to fly into his fist?" (upon luffy getting smacked by douglas bullet)
"can someone stop him? moron, he never learns" (affectionate, but luffy getting smacked again)
"i'm so sick of running from this crap" (on punk hazard running from the poison gas for the 80th time)
"undone by your own powers, huh? that is some record-breaking stupidity" (stuck in the cage in punk hazard w law. this one is GENUINELY MY FAVORITE, ITS SO OUT OF POCKET)
"quiet, dumbass! stupid pirates, don't you realize the gravity of the situation here?" (to luffy. need i say more)
"QUIT YOUR BITCHING! YOU FOOLS COULDN'T STEAL CANDY FROM A BABY! you're not even worth suspecting🙄" (yelling at the G-5, one of my fav lines as well)
"you don't get to lecture me on the law" (i can't remember this one verbatim but towards the start of PH, aimed at the G-5)
- calls pretty much everyone younger than him (aka everyone) a "punk"
- says "crap" a lot bc PG-13 but absolutely means "shit". please let him say shit. just ONCE
- also lots of "well, damn" or "i'll be damned", sometimes in just the most (un)impressed voice and it makes me giggle
he probably has some zingers in loguetown and elsewhere (maybe his brief appearance in marineford) but these are all i can think of for now. anyway please spread smug smoker far and wide and never forget how insanely sassy this 36 year old dilf is
which team are you? team crust or no crust? 😆
hear me out,
i think it could be very funny if Kaveh was the first character to seriously delve into and explore the theory of once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-unified-nation-across-Teyvat, because he studies architecture
and i just think it would be hilarious if he discovered some very particular similarities in the architecture of ancient ruins - which is not that surprising, but those would be ruins from, for example, Mondstadt and Enkanomiya (possibly open for research purposes after the ritual for a while), and that would drive Kaveh almost to the point of absurd insanity [because according to modern historical records the nations of modern Inazuma and Mond at that time, for example, had supposedly absolutely no connection with each other or something like this, and what do you mean these are all devoted to the same deity? what kind of deity? what do you mean it was something about winds of time-]
Kaveh trying to get Alhaitham to finally approve finances for Kshahrewar because it's either him going on some extensive research trips OR it's him slowly driving the Scribe insane with his new research findings because, surprise-surprise, they are roommates, so what's Alhaitham to do about it-
Just Kaveh casually stumbling across the Horrid Ancient Truths while trying to study some funky murals-
Death: So... what's wrong? Morpheus:
stede bonnet: talk it through as a crew :D
stede bonnet: except for me. if i talk about my feelings at all I Will Die
i just know that will doesn’t have an ac unit, like not even a window unit, he just leaves all his windows open
everyone in ANH: hey Luke what experience do u have?
Luke:
everyone: oh ok <3
