One Of My Favorite Things I Do Ever Is Look At The Ao3 Tag For Anything I Watch ESPECIALLY If It Is Deeply

one of my favorite things I do ever is look at the ao3 tag for anything i watch ESPECIALLY if it is deeply normal mainstream content. what do you mean there are 20 works in Bad Moms Christmas and they’re all written by one person!!!!!

despite being a 2010s tumblr teen i never got into doctor who, so naturally i'm here in 2023 (entirely david tennant's fault)

Awash In Crimson Wine - Agatha x Succubus!Rio

A/N Hi guys!! You asked and you shall receive! This story takes place in a universe where instead of trapping her in westview, Wanda lets Agatha go with a fraction of the power she once had. Just a silly little fic to sooth my Agathario cravings in between episodes! I’m gonna try and get new chapters out every other day or so.

Title from From Eden by Hozier

***********************************

It started with a flicker, unsuspecting and uninteresting. Agatha was rooting through some old spell books to try and find a glamour enchantment to attract sexual desire. It was a childish whim, made in her desperation to regain some semblance of control. Wanda left her weak, and with so much of her power gone, she felt her grip on those around her loosen significantly.

It was jarring, a loss too odd to articulate, when you go from bending the will of others at your whim to an indifferent force in the world around you. Agatha craved it, that feeling of utter control, more than anything else Wanda took from her. She knew she had to get it back, even if she had to start at the bottom and claw back to the top. She had to start with what she knew to be the easiest, simplest way to attract total devotion‒ through sexual desire.

The spell went, for the most part, just as she had planned. The ingredients were easy enough to find. Roses, honey, salt, red candles, and some kitchen spices you could knick from any grocery store. Simple, easy witchcraft she’s been capable of for centuries. The shift in energy would’ve been imperceptible to most, but to Agatha, the sudden, illogical flicker of each candle in unison made her hairs stand on end.

Still, she chalked it up to Wanda's ever lingering damage and went about the rest of the ritual as she always had. It wasn’t until that night that she understood the true gravity of her error.

The warmth stroked her every muscle with a tender hand, lulling her into an inky black sleep. Each pulse of her heartbeat sent liquid gold to her limbs, bringing her closer and closer to bliss. An orange light surrounded her, and a laugh like honey rang in her ears as a hand reached out to touch her. First her shoulder, trailing up to her cheek, then down to her knee. Through hazy, lidded eyes, she peered up at the golden light. A woman, dark haired and effervescent, peered back at her, smiling through red lips. Her tongue darted out to wet them, and it sent electricity all through Agatha's body. The woman's hand trailed slowly up her leg, past her robe, and grazed her upper thigh with a torturous, feather light touch. Every inch of contact was like fire, warmth blooming in her chest as she gazed at the woman. She felt magnetized to her, like any inch of space between them was an inch too much. Agatha leaned in to press her lips against hers, but before she could get any further, she felt a piercing pain in her thigh. Yelping, she pulled back to see long fingernails emerge from under her robe, dripping with blood. The woman laughed, the sound radiating as she licked her fingers.

Agatha shot awake in bed, body drenched in sweat. She ripped the covers off of her body and peeled back her robes, dreading to see what she already knew was there. Four long claw marks stared back at her, etched into her skin and trickling blood. Worse than that was the ache radiating from her core, needy and clearly present. She shoved her head back into her pillow and groaned at her stupidity, as it slowly dawned on her how utterly fucked she really was. If she knew anything about witchcraft, she knew one thing — She had a Succubus.

Agatha cursed under her breath, clutching the sheets in her fists as the realization sank in. A succubus. She hadn’t summoned a lover, a pawn, or even a mortal with fleeting devotion. No, she had called forth something infinitely more dangerous. 

She sat up, trying to steady her breath, but her body betrayed her. The warmth from the dream—the succubus’s touch—still lingered on her skin, an itch that wouldn’t quite leave. Her thigh throbbed, and the marks from the Succubus’ claws began to feel all too real. Was this just the beginning? How much could she physically harm her? How much would Agatha let her? She glanced at her reflection in the mirror across the room, her eyes dark with need, frustration, and… something else. Was it fear? No, not quite. Anticipation. The thought turned her stomach.

Agatha swung her legs over the side of the bed, wincing as her bare feet hit the cold floor. She cursed again, this time more audibly, as she paced back and forth, trying to shake the lingering sensations. Her mind raced with the implications. Succubi were notorious, not just for their insatiable appetites, but for their ability to manipulate, to control, to twist their victims until they craved them beyond reason. She knew the stories. Hell, she had lived long enough to have seen the aftermath of succubus entanglements. Witches, sorcerers, even powerful beings like herself, brought to their knees by desire.

“I’m not one of them,” Agatha muttered, a desperate edge creeping into her voice. “I’m not weak.”

But even as she said it, she could feel the echo of that laugh in her mind—smooth, sultry, dripping with amusement. It was a sound that made her chest tighten with equal parts fury and desire.

She needed to figure this out—now. Agatha stalked over to the grimoire she’d been reading earlier. It still lay open on her desk, the candles from the ritual now melted down to stubs, the faint scent of roses and burnt honey hanging in the air. Flicking through the pages with a practiced hand, she searched for answers. There had to be a way to reverse this, to banish the succubus before things spiraled further out of control.

But as her eyes scanned the old, familiar words, she found nothing. No incantation. No banishing ritual. No easy fix. Of course, there wasn’t. Summoning a succubus wasn’t the kind of mistake one could undo with a flick of the wrist. She knew that.

A low chuckle echoed from the shadows, making Agatha freeze. The temperature in the room seemed to spike, and a sultry voice purred from behind her, "Looking for something, darling?"

Agatha turned sharply, heart pounding as her gaze locked on the succubus, who stood casually in the corner, leaning against the wall as if she had always belonged there. Her dark hair spilled over her shoulders, the same as in Agatha’s dream, but now she was here, in the waking world, every bit as alluring—and dangerous. Agatha stared at her long, tan legs, just peaking out through the slit in her emerald green robe. It was more modest than she had imagines for a succubus, covering all the way up to her collar bones. Still, Agatha could see the lace of a black bra peaking subtly out of the top. Her skin seemed to glow a dull gold as her scent carried across the room— Honey and warm spice. She thought about the skin of her thighs, how soft it looks and how if she could reach just a little further—

"How did you—" Agatha began, cutting herself off before her mind could wander any longer, but the succubus just smirked, pushing herself off the wall and walking towards her with that same predatory grace.

"How did I get here?" her voice was teasing, almost patronizing. "You summoned me, remember? And I must say, you have impeccable taste." She stopped just inches from Agatha, her eyes glinting with mischief. "Though I think we both know this is about more than just a casual attraction spell. You wanted something… deeper."

Agatha clenched her jaw, trying not to flinch as the succubus reached out to trail a finger across the line of her jaw . The touch was electric, sending sparks of heat through her veins despite every instinct telling her to pull away. But the pull was there. Undeniable.

"I didn’t ask for you," Agatha hissed, stepping back, though it took more effort than she wanted to admit.

The succubus smiled, a slow, dangerous smile. "Oh, but you did. Your power called to me, Agatha Harkness. You were searching for control, for dominance, for someone who could bend to your will." She circled Agatha now, her gaze lingering on the claw marks she had left. "But you should know… you can’t summon a succubus without offering something in return. And lucky for you…" Her hand brushed against Agatha’s lower back, making her breath hitch. "I’m very, very good at fulfilling desires."

Agatha spun to face her, eyes blazing. "I don’t need you."

The Succubus' smile widened, a predatory gleam in her eyes. "Oh, darling, we both know that’s a lie." She leaned in close, her breath warm against Agatha’s ear. "The question is… how long can you resist before you admit what you really want?"

Agatha’s breath caught, her pulse racing as she met the demons gaze. There was a challenge in her eyes, one that both enraged and enticed her. Agatha had always been the one in control, always the one with the upper hand. But this—this was different. She wasn’t just a distraction; she was a threat, a temptation that Agatha wasn’t sure she could ignore.

"Where are my manners? I haven’t even introduced myself," the succubus purred, her voice as smooth as silk. She smiled, a sickly sweet smile that sent a shiver down Agatha’s spine, stepping closer with an effortless grace. Her dark eyes glittered with amusement, lips curling into a pout as she batted her lashes. "Well, aren’t you going to ask me my name, Agatha Harkness?"

Agatha's breath quickened. She wanted to ignore her, wanted to maintain her sense of control, but the succubus’s presence was magnetic. The air between them hummed with tension, a pull so strong it felt almost physical, drawing Agatha closer without her consent. Her instincts screamed at her to keep her distance, to push this creature away before things spiraled further out of control. But her curiosity—and the simmering desire beneath it—kept her frozen in place.

She swallowed hard, trying to regain some semblance of composure. "I’m not in the habit of making small talk with demons," Agatha said, her voice steadier than she felt.

The succubus chuckled, a low, throaty sound that made Agatha’s stomach twist with both irritation and something else she didn’t care to name. "Oh, darling, this isn’t small talk," she said, stepping even closer, her gaze fixed on Agatha like a predator toying with its prey. "It’s tradition. You summon a demon, you give them a proper introduction. It's the polite thing to do."

Agatha raised an eyebrow, forcing herself to meet her gaze head-on. "Since when do demons care about tradition?"

The succubus smiled again, but this time there was something darker behind it, something ancient and knowing. "Since we’ve had names worth remembering."

Agatha clenched her jaw, refusing to be drawn into whatever game the succubus was playing. She had been down this road before—manipulation, seduction, promises laced with power. This demon wasn’t the first creature of darkness to try her hand at controlling Agatha, and she certainly wouldn’t be the last.

But there was something different about this time around.

Her heart pounded against her ribcage, and no matter how much she tried to brush off the feeling, Agatha knew this was more than just a game of power. The challenge in the succubus' eyes wasn’t just about control. It was about want. Hunger.

And Agatha, against her better judgment, felt that hunger stirring inside herself too.

The succubus watched her with an amused, expectant expression, like she knew exactly what was going through Agatha’s mind. "Go on," she coaxed, her voice dripping with honey. "You know you’re curious. I can feel it."

Agatha took a slow breath, trying to quiet the heat rising in her chest. Her body was betraying her, reacting to the succubus’s presence in a way she hadn’t felt in… she couldn’t remember how long. She clenched her fists, nails digging into her palms as she fought to keep her cool.

But the words slipped out before she could stop herself.

"Fine," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "What’s your name?"

The succubus’s smile widened, satisfied, as if she had been waiting for this exact moment. She leaned in closer, so close that Agatha could feel the warmth radiating from her skin, the scent of something sweet and intoxicating filling the air between them.

"My name is Rio Vidal," she said softly, her lips brushing against Agatha’s ear as she spoke. "And now that we’ve been properly introduced… things are about to get very interesting."

Agatha’s pulse quickened at the way Rio’s name rolled off her tongue, rich and dark like wine. She hated the way it felt, hated that her body responded with a shiver that ran down her spine, hated that her mind was already racing with possibilities.

But more than anything, she hated that Rio could see it.

"Don’t get too comfortable," Agatha snapped, stepping back, trying to regain some distance, some sense of control. "This isn’t going to be your playground."

Rio didn’t seem fazed by the sudden shift in tone. She merely tilted her head, studying Agatha with that same knowing smile. "Oh, I’m not looking for a playground," she said, voice low, almost a purr. "I’m looking for something much more... satisfying."

Agatha’s stomach churned, a flush creeping up her neck. She turned her back to Rio, pacing to the other side of the room, needing space to think, to breathe. The succubus’s presence was suffocating, overwhelming. Every word, every glance was designed to provoke, to ignite something Agatha wasn’t ready to acknowledge.

"I don’t need your help," Agatha said firmly, her back still turned. "I can handle my own power."

"Really?" Rio’s voice was closer than it should’ve been, and when Agatha turned, the succubus was standing just behind her, their faces inches apart. "Because it seems to me that your power is the one thing you can’t control anymore."

Agatha glared at her, refusing to be intimidated. "I’ve lived for centuries, Rio. You think I don’t know what you’re doing? You want to get inside my head, make me doubt myself. But you won’t succeed."

Rio’s eyes gleamed with amusement, her lips curling into a slow, predatory smile. "Oh, Agatha," she whispered, leaning in until their foreheads almost touched. "I don’t need to make you doubt yourself. You already do."

The words hit Agatha deeper than she wanted to admit. She felt the truth of them, the gnawing uncertainty that had been growing ever since Wanda stripped her of her power. The fear that she wasn’t as strong as she used to be. The creeping doubt that maybe—just maybe—Rio was right.

But she couldn’t let that show. Not now. Not ever.

"I think it’s time you left," Agatha said, her voice cold, pushing the words through clenched teeth.

Rio lingered for a moment, her dark eyes flickering with something unreadable, before she finally stepped back. "As you wish," she said, her tone light, though there was a shadow of something deeper in her gaze. "But don’t think for a second that this is over, darling."

With a casual wave of her hand, Rio vanished, the air in the room suddenly lighter, but the tension still thrumming beneath Agatha’s skin.

Agatha stood alone in the silence, her heart still racing, her thoughts a jumbled mess. She had won this round, but she knew the succubus would be back. And the worst part?

A small, dangerous part of her wanted her to.

A/N: Hi guys! I’m fairly new to fic writing and brand new to tumblr (in a sense, I’ve been ON Tumblr since like 2016 but I’ve never really posted), so I’m not really sure what I’m doing tbh. I’ve been writing for awhile but I’ve never really posted anything, so let’s just see how this goes! PS Constructive criticism is welcome! I'd love some tips :)

Han Solo x Reader

Prompt: “Do I have to spell it out for you? I’m in love with you!” + Kissing to hide from someone

The funny thing is, you were probably the best pilot in the rebellion before Han. And you absolutely resented him for it. There were few things you hated more than someone upstaging you, but there was nothing you hated more than them being smug about it. And Han Solo without smug is like Hoth without winter, impossible. So when you found yourself crammed nose to nose in a maintenance closet staring back into that smug, shit eating grin, you came to the conclusion that if you made it out of here alive the first thing you were going to do was rip the wires out of that cocky assholes prize winning ship and shove them down his throat.

The morning was typical, breakfast in the Cafeteria and some training in the Gym, then straight to the meeting that was scheduled for that afternoon. Unfortunately, you never actually made it to that meeting, because half way through your training session the emergency alarm went off. You dropped your practice weapon and turned to run towards the center of the base.

“Damnit!”

You forgot to take off the resistance band tied around your ankle and ate shit on the training room floor. A mocking laugh echoed through the room as you felt firm hands grasp your wrists and pull you up.

“You should really be more careful, we wouldn’t want you to do any damage to that pretty face of yours now would we?”

Han grinned, sarcasm dripping from his tone. You groaned in frustration, face flushing from a wounded ego.

“If you haven’t noticed we’re in a bit of an emergency, so if you could be a little more helpful and untie my leg so that we can make it to the meeting before The Galactic Empire blows up our base that would be great.”

“As you wish, Princess”

He leaned down to pull the band off of your thigh, lingering a beat too long in his particularly flirtatious manner. You shoved ahead of him, tactlessly hiding your blush. You know it meant nothing to him, but that didn't mean it didn't drive you nuts. You just didn't operate like Han. He was so casual. Sometimes it seemed like he couldn't help but charm anyone that walks by, just to prove he could. You're pretty sure he would flirt with a coffee pot if it was wearing mascara, while you, on the other hand, had barely managed to seduce half a dozen people in your lifetime. It was for this reason that Hans nature was so irritating to you. When he first moved to this base, you had assumed he was making a pass at you. It's just that no one had ever been so bold about it. At least not with you, the plain looking girl from Batuu who's hottest feature, in the literal sense, was her perpetually flushed cheeks and sweaty palms. It had barely been a week before you fell hard, giggling like a child every time he made one of his frisky remarks. Bless Leia's heart for being the only person kind enough to burst your bubble. After what must have been a few too many puppy eyed stares, she pulled you aside to tell you Hans' deal. That he was an egotistical bastard who got a kick out of making people fall in love with him just to see if he could. You crashed back down to Earth pretty swiftly after that, and had now spent the better part of a year rolling your eyes every time he entered a room. Now you're stuck being second best to the man who stole your heart and your rank.

By the time you both reached the meeting room, the alarm had stopped and Leia was the only person left there.

“Y/N, Han! There you are. Where were you two?”

“Long story, what’s up?”

“ok...”

Leia raised her eyebrow suspiciously before continuing 

“There’s a Galactic Empire ship flying in our atmosphere. We’re not sure if they got a tip off about our base or if they’re doing a routine scan of the planet, but either way we can’t risk allowing them to continue. We only have one stolen TIE Fighter at this base, which means the rest of the crew will be working from land to shield the base and prepare for battle in case we’re spotted-“

“Great, where do you need me?” You interjected.

“I was actually hoping you and Han could fly the TIE fighter...”

“Oh?” You questioned, a bit shocked.

She eyed you with a sympathetic look, the two of you still close enough for her to be well aware of how you feel about Han.

“I don't need to tell either of you that you're the best pilots we have on site, and we need this mission to succeed. We can’t risk sending anything but our best, I’m counting on you two to destroy the ship by sabotaging the main engine.”

“Just tell me where to fire and that ship’ll be out of the sky before it can get within 100 miles of our base.” Han said, rearing for battle.

“Not so fast”

Leia sighed, clearly not willing to deal with Hans' rash nature at this exact moment. 

“There’s a reason I’m squeezing Y/N into a single-pilot TIE with you, Han. You need someone who actually thinks rationally, this is too much of a risky situation for you to just go in there and fire at will like you usually would. You need to be calculated and precise, which is why you’ll both be undercover.”

“Hey! I’m calculated and precise...” Han frowned.

You gritted your teeth and turned back to Leia.

“Where’s the engine?”

“It’s on the north end of the ship, right next to the escape pod, you can’t miss it. A few hits should do the trick, especially since we’re using a stolen Empire ship with stronger blasters. By the time they realize you two are there they’ll already be toast. Here are your Uniforms, just in case anything goes south and you have to come face to face with Galactic Empire soldiers.”

You nod and take the uniform out of Leia’s hand, two Stormtrooper suits probably taken off of the soldiers from the stolen TIE fighter.

“Be careful, they’ll be on high alert if a ship just flies at top speed towards their engines. Don’t be suspicious.”

Han scoffed,

“Yeah, great advice ‘Don’t be suspicious’. And how are we supposed to do that? A random TIE fighter that’s probably already been reported as stolen flying up to the ship during what seems like a routine check? How are we going to be sure they don’t stop us immediately and blow us out of the sky?”

Leia took a deep, patient breath,

“You really have no faith in me, do you. We’ve been monitoring the ship and can see that there are TIE fighters flying in and out. Just follow the path that the rest of them are taking to avoid standing out. We know the ship hasn’t been reported as stolen because when it crashed the pilot died, so there was no one to alert them when we recovered it. We don’t have much time, I just need you to trust me. Put on the uniforms, fly in if you have to, but fly out and destroy the engine. It’s our only chance.”

A grim look passed over your face, this mission was risky, and you knew if she was going to put the two of you together it really was her only option. Things could very easily go south and if worse comes to worse her best pilots would have the closest shot at getting out of there alive. You turned to Han and realized he must’ve gotten the message, because for once in his life he didn't have anything witty to say back. He just nodded and went to change into the stolen uniform

You turned back to Leia and took a deep breath before wrapping your arms around her. She returned the hug before pulling back and putting her hands on your shoulders.

“Just, please make it back, ok?”

You smiled “I will. I might leave Han on the ship though, he’s already starting to get on my nerves.”

Leia laughed “As much as he’s a pain in our asses, he’s one of our best. Try to keep him in line for me, you know how he gets...”

You chuckled, “Yeah, I will. See you later, okay?”

“Yeah, see you later.”

You walked off to go change before meeting Han at the ship.

...

By the time you squeezed into the stolen uniform Han was already in the pilot seat of the TIE. You truly wish you had the energy to argue about it, but there wasn't enough time to be petty. He was a better pilot, plain and simple, and your pride wouldn't change that. You also wouldn't change anything by slamming on a non-existent brake pedal as he took off with an all too aggressive jolt, but that certainly didn't stop the instinct.

"Can you slow down?" You snapped, tension seeping into your shoulders. "We're supposed to be blending in, and your narcissistic flying style gives you away to literally anyone who has ever seen you pilot."

"'Narcissistic flying style'?" Han scoffs "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know, shut up." You blushed, doing your best to avoid his gaze.

"You've got to get better at that, you know"

"At what?"

"Being mean. It doesn't suit you"

"Unless you want to figure out how well my foot suits your ass, I suggest you just shut up and fly"

He lets out a warm chuckle, laughing through his response -

"See what I mean? It just sounds weird coming out of your mouth. It's like a youngling swearing for the first time. To much bite, it's not natural yet"

"Well if you're so sure it's unnatural to me maybe I should take notes from you, you seem to have no problem being an asshole."

This one came out with a real bite, he's pissed you off now.

"And what does it matter? Maybe it's not natural to me because you're the only person who makes me feel like saying rude shit. Now what does come natural to me is flying, and maybe if you weren't so focused on how things sounded coming out of my mouth you'd have noticed the TIEs flying on either side of us."

"Oh shit!" He exclaimed, caught off guard for once.

"We're going to have to land on the ship."

"what? why?"

"We don't have access to their channels of communication and we're going to have to explain what the hell we're doing flying off Crait. If we start flying towards the reactor now they'll just gun us down. We can pretend to be the soldiers that crashed on this ship, explain that we were only missing because the engine failed and we needed time to repair it. The communicator broke in the crash, and that's why we haven't called for help, got it?"

"Got it, captain" He said, with an impressed lilt in his voice.

You smiled, tallying this as a win against him. If it was impressive to him that someone could come up with a plan that wasn’t whatever made the most explosions, then so be it. He’d just better be prepared to be impressed for the next few hours.

As Han flew the TIE into the landing bay, it became increasingly clear that this was going to take more convincing on your part than you were prepared for. The two TIEs guarding either side of you followed you into the port, and a group of high ranking soldiers began to gather where your ship was landing. You shot Han a concerned glance before remembering it was useless through your helmet. He seemed to get the message anyways, giving you a short nod in response. You just hoped that meant he was taking this as seriously as you were and wasn't planning on doing anything rash. 

The both of you slowly stepped out of the TIE, unsure of what the soldiers around you were planning. You tensed as a burly looking man approached, eyeing the both of you suspiciously-

“CF-0065, TZ-1764. It’s been quite some time since we’ve heard from you. Your vessels had been reported missing and it was our assumption that you had crashed or been captured. Explain what has kept you from reporting to your posts immediately.” 

He snapped, authority evident in his voice. You decided to cut in before Han could say something stupid-

“Yes, sir. Our vessels crashed on Crait, and we have spent the time in between now and then repairing the engine of the more salvageable ship. We were able to get it functioning yesterday, and we're working on getting the communication systems functioning next. We spotted your ship flying over and hoped to explain ourselves and have aid in fully repairing the TIE.”

“Ah, yes, well I’m glad you were able to recover your vessel and return to work. We could use the extras hands on board.”

“What exactly is the mission of this vessel?” Han chimed in. “We’d like to help in whatever way best suits our skills.” He added, nonchalantly.

The man, who you had now gathered to be the chief officer, began to walk. The two of you followed, doing your best impression of the mindless soldiers surrounding you.

“Well, we were sent to a maintenance level scan of this star system, but have since detected some suspicious activity on this planet in particular.”

 Your shoulders immediately tensed, and you shot a sideways glance at Han. 

“We would like to get a more comprehensive idea of the situation before moving forward, so as of now we have not reported anything to the other fleets in the area. We’d prefer not to alert the planet of our suspicions yet, and give them the least time to prepare if we decide to strike.”

You silently thanked the stars that they haven’t allerted anyone else of their suspicions. You know Han did too, it’s going to make what you have to do here a whole lot easier without an entire fleet against you.

"Well, we’re both especially skilled in repair and maintenance,” Han jutted in, “so if you could point us towards the engine room we would be happy to make sure everything is working in order while you further investigate the planet.”

It was a risky move, and the general eyed you suspiciously.

“The both of us were able to repair a damaged TIE fighter engine with nothing but the materials we were able to trade for on Crait, if you have any issues we’d be happy to help.” You added, hoping it would convince him.

“Actually,” he conceded, “I have been concerned about the operation system in one of  our navigation ports. We’ve been having quite a few rough takeoffs recently. I was going to wait until we landed to get it looked at, but since the two of you clearly possess enough skill to repair that TIE I’d rather you just take a look at it now.” 

He led the two of you down a series of long, winding hallways, which you did your best to memorize if a quick escape became necessary. The room he brought you to was a small one, with about a hundred buttons you barely recognized. You may be an experienced pilot, but Empire technology was something else entirely. You just hoped the general wasn’t planning on staying, or you and Han would have to put on a pretty convincing performance.

“So,” Han coughed, “what seems to be the matter?”

“Well since you two are such experienced mechanics, shouldn't you be the ones telling me?” The general questioned suspiciously.

“Of course, Sir,” You turned, praying to god that you could make some sense of this mess in time to keep your cover. “It looks like-”

A loud thud echoed behind you and you whipped around to see Han standing over the unconscious general. He just shrugged, turning to replace the wrench he pried off the wall to club him with.

“Han!” You whisper-shouted, trying not to alert more people than he probably just did by being his typical, impulsive self.

“What? He replied, “He was totally on to us and It was more trouble than it's worth to try and convince him we know anything about Empire tech.”

“Right, so you decided braining him with a wrench was the next best option?”

“We don’t have time for this, Y/N. At this point we’re going to have to sabotage the reactor from the inside, which might take more effort than we anticipated.”

“And what are we supposed to do with him?” You both eyed the unconscious general, and Han shifted his gaze to a utility closet in the corner.

A few good thunks with the wrench for extra measure later, the both of you began to fold, shove, and contort the general into a crate in the navigation room closet. You had taken your helmets off, sweating uncomfortably with the effort it took to lift the fairly bulky man across the room. You wiped your forehead, staring at the now properly concealed general, and shot a concerned glance at Han, 

“How long do you think it’ll take before they notice he’s gone?” 

“I think we’ve got some time,” He said, reaching for his helmet.

It was at that moment that the doorknob began to jiggle, and in a blur of movement Han had you up against the wall with his lips on yours. It didn’t even register at first, shock and adrenaline coursing through your veins hard enough to freeze you completely.You weren’t exactly sure what the rules were in The Galactic Empire about soldiers kissing, but you had a feeling the punishment for being caught would be less severe than killing a high ranking general. Plus, this was probably the easiest way to hide both of your helmetless faces, yours may not be recognizable, but his certainly is. It took a second before you began to kiss him back, but by the time you let yourself reciprocate, you heard the door click shut and Han pulled away. You kicked yourself and your neurotic brain for running through all of the possible plans of action before you even got the chance to soak it in. You’d dreamed of this so many times, and in so many ways, and the one time it’ll probably ever happen you let it get away from you. As you looked back up at Han, he was stuck with the same searching look you couldn’t wipe off your face. You stared back at him for a second, trying to gauge his reaction.

Han butted in, cutting right through your thoughts. “Maybe we should do that again. You know, just in case they come back.” He said, dazed.

“Yeah…” You muttered, “Yeah that might be best.”

His lips crashed back into yours, and you kissed him with a renewed sense of purpose. Han kissed with a passion you had never felt before. With everyone else it had been awkward and fumbling, but the two of you seemed to fit together so naturally. You took a metal note of every part of him, from the rough feeling of his lips to the bold flick of his tongue. You tried to memorize everything you loved about this, because you knew it was never going to happen again. You’re sure you were going to torture yourself with this moment forever, so you might as well remember it as clearly as possible. The way his hands grazed your waist, not grabbing, but just hovering above your hips with a feather-like touch as if he was afraid you were going to burn him. How his adams apple bobbed when you kissed his neck, swallowing hard out of desperation. The way his hands felt in your hair, not tugging, but carding through it with a sort of reverence. He pulled away too soon, tearing you out of your blissful analysis of his body and back into the present tense. 

“We can’t keep doing that,” He said, panting.

“Yeah, I think we’re in the clear and we need to find the reactor” You replied, trying your best to hide how it stung and moving towards your helmet.

“No.” Han put both his hands on your shoulder, holding you in place, “No, we can’t keep doing that because if we do I will want to do it again.”

“What?” You paused, shocked.

“You know what I mean, Y/N, don’t make me say it out loud.”

You stared back at him blankly, truly at a loss for words.

“Jesus Y/N, Do I have to spell it out for you? I’m in love with you!”

“What?” Seemed to be the only word your brain could muster in this moment. You felt as though your whole world view was crashing around you, as though the very ground beneath you was shaking… On second thought, the ground might actually be shaking, because judging by Hans face you weren't the only one feeling the rumbling beneath you.

“We’ll deal with this later.” He shot you a look before grabbing his helmet and running out the door, following quickly after to discover what was the matter. 

It became clear as you walked that the ship was preparing for takeoff, but you weren’t sure why. Your nerves were on fire, and you know you’ve wasted too much time to get it wrong now.

“That general sure wasn’t kidding when he said their takeoffs were rough. We need to get to the reactor before they can get the ship up and running or we’re screwed.” Han said, eyeing you nervously.

“Do you think if we go back to the landing bay we can tell them we have orders to go back to Crait and investigate some of the suspicious activity we saw on-world? If we take a nicer ship than the TIE we came in we won't have to worry about the blasters not being strong enough to take down the ship.” You replied, already in go-mode.

“Sounds like a great plan,” Han said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “except how the hell are we supposed to find our way back to the landing bay with no map of the ship?”

“Just trust me.” You said, grabbing his arm and leading him down the hall. Your freakish memory is good for more than memorizing Hans lips, and you were able to bring the two of you back exactly the way you came. You strode up to the nearest pilot you could find, and with the confidence of somebody who has no other choice, demands he give the two of you access to an ST-70 Assault Ship. 

“For what purpose?” He responds, taken aback by your assertiveness.

“We are the two soldiers who we’re just recovered from Crait, and were ordered back down there to investigate suspicious activity on the planet. We don’t have time for this, just give us the vessel.” Han repeated what you had planned to the pilot, striding towards the ST-70. 

“I haven’t been told of such an order, the two of you are going to need to wait until I receive the command from higher up to authorize use of this vessel.” The pilot replies sharply.

“We’ve already been held up by engine maintenance,” You added, not exactly sure where this was going but hoping you found something convincing to say in the midst of your rambling, “and spent much of that time relaying to a general on this ship the reason for our brief disappearance. We are part of a high clearance mission to uncover rebel activity on the planet Crait, and are close to infiltrating one of the largest branches of their military. We came here to dismiss your vessel, as we were worried your presence would alert the Rebel Alliance of our presence on the planet.”

Han joined in, stepping up to the unarmed pilot with his intimidating stature. 

“If you don’t hand over this vessel, the failure of a months-long plan to eliminate one of the largest branches of the Rebel Alliance will be on your head. Whatever you think we might do with this ship that is ‘unauthorized’ cannot possibly have consequences as dire for you as that will.” Han rolled his shoulders back, taking one more menacing step forward.

The pilot stepped aside, granting you and Han access to the ST-70. If the two of you make it out of here, you would have to be permanently assigned as partners for missions like these. You have never felt more invigorated or on your game than when you were with Han, the idea of the word ‘partners in crime’ finally settling in your skin. You weren’t out of the woods yet though, and as Han began to start the ships engines, a very rumpled looking general marched into the landing bay.

“Shit!” You exclaimed. “Go, Han, Go, go, go go GO!”

“I hear you Y/N!” Han shouted back, kicking the ship into overdrive and jolting you violently into space.

 You got a few feet out from the ship before three TIE fighters started tailing you, and Han took a sharp left before nose-diving under the belly of the ship. You whipped around to the laser cannons, doing you best to aim as Han whipped the ship around to try and find the main engine. Just as you took one TIE out, two more appeared.

“Do you have eyes on the engine Han?” You shouted, limbs tingling as you shot down two more TIE fighters.

“Got it!” He yelled back, and you swiveled to face the ship's surface as he flew at top speed towards the engine.

You began to count down, preparing Han to nose dive the second you blasted this thing out of the sky.

“Three… two.. One!” You fired directly at the engine, and your stomach did somersaults as Han dodged the blast.  

“Yes!” He screamed, and you laughed with manic joy as you felt relief wash over you. 

The TIE fighters following you weren’t prepared to dodge the blast, and the two of you watched joyfully as they went down with the ship. You barreled towards Crait, with more than just a successful mission to show for it. The two of you had just destroyed a high ranking Empire ship, and come back with an ST-70 Razor Crest M-11 ship as your bounty. Han landed the ship and ripped off his helmet, smiling from ear to ear. The excitement was electric, making its way through every limb and out your fingers to charge the atmosphere around you. You turned to Han and before you knew it you were crashing your lips into his, desperate for an outlet. He kissed you back with double the vigor of the last time, and seemed to be determined to explore every inch of you. Your mouth, your waist, your hair, your thighs, he groped and fumbled at all of you as you pushed back with just as much energy. Kissing Han felt like, for lack of better word, winning. Winning your first race as a newly vetted pilot, winning a mission against the empire, winning the man you thought wanted nothing to do with you and you thought you wanted nothing to do with. You laughed into the kiss as he bit your lip, giddy with an amount of energy you didn’t know how to control. 

“What?” He said, sporting that smug grin you always wanted to slap off of his face.

“Nothing,” you replied, deciding firmly that kissing it off was the better option. “I’ve just been so in love with you forever and can’t believe this is happening.”

FIN.

river: waxing poetic about how you "can't expect a sunrise to love you back!"

the doctor: laying on their stomach kicking their feet in the air writing in their diary like "oh my God Professor Song was sooooooo cool today she took down six people with one single bullet!! and her hair was extra bouncy today, I wonder if she's bought a new shampoo? I should take her somewhere with zero gravity to see how bouncy it can truly get. And I FINALLY plucked up the courage to boop her nose and she didn't bite my finger!! greenlight!! I'm gonna boop her cute nose every time I see her from now on!! I have such a pretty wife. I love calling her my wife! my wife my wife my wife! I'm making dinner reservations for us under 'Professor and Mr. Song' as we speak. she's so cool I don't know how she puts up with me. I wish she'd spend more time on the tardis with me :(

“it’s a queer show” ok so agathario canon confirmed! if not i will blow up my body in front of marvel studios.