Bruce: Did It Hurt When You Fell-

Bruce: Did it hurt when you fell-

Thor: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Bruce: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Thor: ...

Bruce: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Loki: Dear Santa,

Loki: I’m writing to let you know that i’ve been naughty

Loki: And it was worth it you judgmental bastard

hulk. is a little spoon

this is so much fucking better than the top/bottom discourse oh my lord YES

Tony: No one here’s a mole.

Fury: How can you be so sure?

Tony: Because I know these guys. I know everything about them.

Fury: You’re a poor hero if you think people can’t surprise you.

Tony: Not these people. Here, watch this.

Tony: It’s Thursday, so Nat’s gonna leave early to rehearse with her new dance group. Clint’s going to be going over his weekly budget. Bruce and Thor are gonna watch a movie while eating pizza, and Bruce is gonna have to explain everything throughout it because Thor won’t understand anything.

Tony: And if I run and leap at Steve, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. *starts running*

Steve: Wait no, i’m holding coffee!

Also Steve: *Drops coffee to catch Tony*

Bruce: I promise i’m not going to get mad.

Thor, taking a deep breath: I moved an astronomical megastructure with my bare hands, got hit by the beam of a neutron star willingly and would have died if they hadn’t put together ‘storm breaker’ in time.

Bruce:

Thor:

Bruce: *slowly changes into hulk*

Thor: *running away yelling* Shit shit shit! He’s gonna kill me!