231214 - Jungkook X Iheartradio Live

231214 - jungkook x iheartradio live

Oh this series is so angsty and drama filled and I’m living for it!

Can’t wait for the next chapter as the drama is so intense and I can’t wait for the conclusion.

If you haven’t read it I suggest you start from chapter one to see why this chapter gets to be so angst ridden.

If you love messy angst with smut then this is for you!

This chapter had me in my feels, poor Jungkook! Our boy needs to grow a backbone and stand up for himself. And Yoongi needs to tell her that he’s not good too! This love triangle is living on top of angst mountain and ain’t coming down anytime soon! 🙆🏻‍♀️😔

But I’m still gonna watch this car wreck and have my heart squeezed!

Sinful Lust | ch 4 (myg & jjk)

☆summary: Jungkook has been living his life like he's riding a car, and he sees a wall looming closer. Will he hit, or will he find a way to avoid the collision?

☆pairing: bisexual boyfriend!Yoongi x female!reader x Jungkook

☆rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

☆genre: mostly smut, angst, snippets of life!au

☆warnings: cursing, jealousy, a flashback to how it all started five years ago, alcohol, mention of social anxiety, some sort of cheating?, explicit content: unprotected sex, jerking off, tied hands/bondage ish?, oral sex (male and female receiving, male on male, male on female), face riding, mouth fucking, choking, hair pulling, anal sex, cumshot, protected sex, sexting, nudes, a side of degradation?, facetime sex, ass slapping, guided sex, creampie

☆word count: 8.6k

☆a/n: Jungkook pov time babyyy! I hope you will love it <3 Thank you to @moonleeai as always for beta-ing this fic <3

☆a/n pt2: I do not own BTS or any of the members. I do not know what they are like irl (I do not claim to know their personalities, sexual orientations, beliefs, etc.). This fic is just a work of fiction, so please keep that in mind while reading

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

                Each time he’s with you and Yoongi, Jungkook has a hard time figuring out why, or how. Especially right now, as he lies under you while you fuck yourself on him.

He watches your breasts as they bounce on your chest, watches the light sheen on your skin from your sweat. Yoongi is jerking off next to Jungkook, and he can’t help but glance at that too – Yoongi’s frowning, mouth slightly open as he grips his cock hard, pumping fast.

Your walls clench around Jungkook’s dick, and he returns his attention to you as he grunts and you let out a moan, bending forward to rest your hands on his shoulders for leverage. Jungkook lets you do it, though he tugs at his restraints, his cock twitching as his hands are held back in place.

It was Yoongi’s idea to tie him up. At the mischief lighting up your gaze, Jungkook hadn’t been able to say no, and frankly, he doesn’t think he regrets his decision.

It started with Yoongi sucking his dick while you sat on his face, and Jungkook can still taste your sleek juice in his mouth. It’s inebriating, and he thinks he’s drunk – or perhaps he’s just swimming in ecstasy. Even if Yoongi fucked his mouth after that.

Jungkook doesn’t particularly enjoy the bisexual action he’s been partaking in with you and Yoongi. He doesn’t dislike it, but he doesn’t feel any sexual attraction to it. He doesn’t think he would touch Yoongi if it wasn’t for your begging eyes. But whenever you look at him, whenever you tell him to do something, Jungkook folds, unable to tell you no.

He’s convinced Yoongi’s caught up to it, yet it seems you’re still lost in the fog of oblivion. Or maybe the three of you are just too good at pretending that it’s not there, that he didn’t say yes to this whole ordeal just because he gets to fuck you.

You clench again, this time moaning his name, and Jungkook has the visceral need to pull you flush to his chest so that he can thrust into you just like he likes. Tugging at the restraints proves to be useless, and he lets out a frustrated groan even as you pick up your pace, visibly chasing your orgasm.

It’s hot. It’s fucking hot and Jungkook feels his balls tighten, though he reins it in – he’s not going to come yet.

Your right hand shifts to his neck, and then you’re choking him, though your up-and-down motion grows sloppy, as if you have trouble focusing. And you barely choke him – you were just looking for leverage, he assumes.

“Bend down,” he tells you. “Fucking bend down, I’ll make you come.”

At his words Yoongi grabs a handful of Jungkook’s hair, forcing his head back. But you do bend down, and Jungkook braces his feet on the mattress so that he can fuck into you. He sets a relentless pace, meeting Yoongi’s gaze as you moan into his neck.

Perhaps that will be enough to make him come after all. Because he knows your Yoongi’s. Knows he’ll never have you any other way. But when you cling to him like you are doing right now, Jungkook likes to believe that you’re his, too.

He knows you’re coming the moment your orgasm crashes into you, and he doesn’t relent, doesn’t slow down. You moan against his skin, and Yoongi pulls on his hair harder, and Jungkook thinks maybe he’s coming too.

He keeps it in at the last second, his balls hurting from the denied orgasm. But he doesn’t want to come in such a subdued position – he’ll fucking ride you until you cry from the pleasure before.

He slows down, and you slump against him, your sweaty skin feeling like heaven against his. He’s still looking at Yoongi, who’s still pumping his cock hard, though he finally lets go of Jungkook’s hair. Nothing happens for a moment, until you raise your head from his neck, and then Jungkook meets your gaze.

Your cheeks are flushed red, your pupils are blown wide and you look so fucked out he feels his dick twitch inside of you. At that you moan again, and the pain in his balls increases even more because fucking hell does he need to come soon.

You smirk. You smirk and Jungkook thinks he’ll go insane. Especially as you push up from him, and then his dick leaves your velvety walls as you move to the side. You grab his cock, jerking him slowly, and Jungkook looks down at himself.

He’s covered in your juice. You came on him – a lot – and now you’re using it as lubrication to jerk him off and he doesn’t know right from left and up from down anymore. He’s insane – you’ve brought him right to the land of insanity.

“Gosh,” you let out, and he focuses on your face again, though you go in and out of focus as his orgasm is still so close. “I’ve soaked your dick so much you could fuck Yoons like that.”

The orgasm recedes, and Jungkook remembers that he’s not alone with you. That Yoongi is here, and he’s been deprived of attention for a while. Jungkook does feel bad about it a little, but then again, your hand on his dick just feels too good.

Yoongi murmurs your name, adding, “Don’t push his boundaries.”

You bite your lips, holding Jungkook’s gaze with a searing look in your eyes. “Would you fuck his ass if I ride your face again?”

Jungkook is at a loss for words. Especially as you bend down and spit on his dick, adding lubrication to his already soaked cock.

He thinks you’re jerking Yoongi off too now, because Yoongi groans and you let out a small laugh.

“I fucking love having the two of you for myself,” you say.

And that’s when Jungkook knows he’ll say yes. He doesn’t even care that it’s Yoongi’s ass as Yoongi sinks on him a minute later. All he’s looking at is you, and Yoongi’s ass is so fucking tight Jungkook thinks he might not get to fuck you into oblivion after all.

Yoongi moves up and down, slowly, and Jungkook grunts as you wrap your hand around his neck, choking him again. And then you force him to look at Yoongi, who’s got his head thrown back and dick so hard Jungkook feels like Yoongi’s going to come on him in just a few strokes.

You’re the one that reaches out to grab Yoongi’s dick, and you start jerking your boyfriend off as he keeps fucking himself on Jungkook. Jungkook watches, unable to do anything else, and when Yoongi’s ass clenches on his dick Jungkook closes his eyes.

He doesn’t want to see Yoongi coming on him. Doesn’t want to think about the fact he’s got a man on his dick right now, and not you. He just wants to feel how fucking tight it is, and how the drag on his dick is so sinful he knows he will come.

He’s turned on. He’s so fucking turned on by the tightness of Yoongi’s ass that he pulls at the restraints, once again trying to take control. But he can’t. He can’t, yet Yoongi bends forward somehow, and Jungkook’s mind fills with so much ecstasy from the new angle that all he can think to do is to start hammering his hips into his friend.

He comes first. He comes as he’s fucking Yoongi so hard everything hurts, and then Yoongi is coming on him, while you praise the two of them. Jungkook almost forgot that you were there, but then when he opens his eyes, it’s you that he sees first.

Perhaps because Yoongi’s hiding his face in his neck, just like you were doing earlier. And seeing you so close makes Jungkook’s orgasm linger, his dick twitching in Yoongi.

You bend down, catching Jungkook’s mouth in a languid kiss, and he kisses you back with everything in his chest, not caring that he emptied his balls in your boyfriend just a moment ago. Not when you kiss him like that – like every swipe of your tongue on his is a hidden message, of feelings shared even though they shouldn’t be.

Yoongi moves away from Jungkook as you’re still kissing him, and Jungkook tries to hold you, to cup your cheeks, but his hands still don’t move from where Yoongi tied them up. He pushes his tongue in your mouth still, lapping you up, and right when he thinks he’ll die from the lack of oxygen, you pull away from the kiss.

It takes Jungkook a moment to realize that Yoongi is gone. You’re looking towards the door, and Jungkook is still just watching you, and something hurts in his chest. He clears his throat to push it away, which gains him your attention again.

“Can you untie me?” he asks, voice still a little scrappy from when Yoongi fucked his mouth earlier.

You nod, and he notices you gulping. Something’s wrong. Something definitely is wrong between you and Yoongi, and Jungkook feels sick and twisted for it.

“Sorry,” you apologize as he mindlessly massages his shoulders, which started to ache a while ago from staying in that position for so long.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook tells you, and then he glances at his stomach. At his dick, that’s softening on his pelvis.

He’s covered in cum. Both his and Yoongi’s, and even yours from before all that. The sight nearly makes him gag, and he motions to the box of tissues on the night table.

“Can you pass me these?” he asks.

You don’t answer, though you grab a handful of tissues. Jungkook makes to grab them from your hands, but you start cleaning him up. He almost gulps from the attention, from the care in each of your motions, but he focuses on looking towards the door.

He doesn’t even know if he wants Yoongi to come back. Just that it feels weird that Yoongi left so quickly.

“Is something wrong?” you ask him, and he frowns, looking back towards you.

“No,” he answers. And though he doesn’t want to pry, he returns the question to you.

You finish cleaning his stomach before you move to his dick, and it feels a little strange to have a serious conversation with you while you’re cleaning up his dick, but then again, his entire relationship with you is weird.

“I don’t know,” you admit. “I guess.” You shrug. “He doesn’t tell me how he feels anymore.”

You look so sad saying the words that Jungkook feels his heart breaking in his chest. He’s been expecting this since the very first time he had sex with you though. The moment when it’d create a wedge between you and Yoongi, or between Yoongi and him.

“Oh,” he lets out. He chews on his lower lip, tongue darting out to play with his piercing. “I’m sorry.”

You shrug your shoulders again. “Don’t be.” You fall silent, eyes trailing to the doorway. You take a deep breath, and then softly let it out, shaking your head slightly. “Let me just go talk to him.”

Jungkook remains silent as you get up, and he looks away from you as you put on your clothes. And he feels far too awkward staying in your bed without you and Yoongi, so he gets up too, grabbing his clothes. He puts them on quickly, feeling the need to leave as fast as he can.

He’ll hate himself if your relationship goes to hell because of him.

So he puts everything on and then tiptoes to the front door. He curses himself when he has one of his shoes on – he left his motorcycle helmet in the kitchen. He glances in that direction – is that where you and Yoongi are?

He doesn’t want to interrupt a conversation between his friend and you.

But he needs the helmet. Can’t drive his motorcycle without it. So he kicks off his shoe, before walking towards the kitchen, slowly, even though it is entirely silent. He passes in front of the bathroom on the way, and there, he hears voices from behind the closed door. Muffled and low, clearly meant for you and Yoongi only, so Jungkook moves away, towards his helmet that he can now see on the counter.

He grabs it, spins on his heels to head back to the door, but he startles at the sight of Yoongi standing there.

“Oh, hyung,” is all Jungkook can think to say.

“You’re leaving?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook’s gaze widens, not really knowing how to reply. “Uh…” He gulps. “I figured it would be better to leave you and Y/n alone…”

Yoongi nods, sighing, and his eyes close momentarily before he looks at Jungkook again. “Sorry about this.”

“About what?” Jungkook asks, and he feels stupid for the question, but it just slipped out on its own.

“Making things awkward,” Yoongi explains. “I guess… I guess I should have asked that you guys don’t…” He stops speaking again, and this time he scratches the back of his head. Jungkook remains silent, giving Yoongi space to collect his thoughts. When he finally does, Yoongi says, “I don’t like you guys kissing like that? I told Y/n, and we’re going to add it to the ground rules.”

Jungkook’s heart squeezes in his chest, yet he still nods, not wanting to hurt his older friend. Especially considering that Jungkook is the guest in this whole scenario, and not Yoongi.

“That sounds good to me,” Jungkook answers, even if every word pains him. “I’ll stop.”

“And the pet names too,” Yoongi adds. “Don’t call her baby.”

There’s possessiveness in Yoongi’s tone, and Jungkook bristles a little, though he forces himself to nod. “Sure. I’m…” he trails off, eyes falling to a spot on the floor between him and Yoongi. “I’m sorry.”

And he does feel apologetic. Guilty, even. But you’ve become a drug that he can’t get enough of, and if he has to stop doing these things to be able to still get a taste of you, then he will.

“Don’t be,” Yoongi says, and he sounds reassuring. Far more than Jungkook expected him to be in the situation. “Don’t ever feel sorry. We invited you in our relationship. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me for not setting my boundaries more clearly.”

At that Jungkook feels jealousy taking shape inside of him. Because Yoongi will get to kiss you, to hold you, to be yours when Jungkook will always just be the guest. But the kisses and pet names allowed him to pretend that, for just a short period of time, you were his. And now he has to let them go, to let the feeling of your lips against his be just a memory. It hurts somehow, which he reckons is stupid.

He doesn’t usually get attached to the women he fucks. But you’re different.

You’ve been different since the day he met you.

“If you want to stay for the night, you can,” Yoongi says in the silence that was stretching to the point of awkwardness. “Guest room is yours, as always.”

And though he usually always stays the night, Jungkook feels the need to be alone. To ride his bike, to eat the road and feel the wind and forget about his thoughts for a moment. So he declines the offer, feeling strange as Yoongi walks him to the door.

He wishes you’d come say goodbye, but you’re in the shower from the sounds of it. He feels guilty for leaving like this, but then again, the night sky and the streetlights are awaiting outside, and it’s going to be much needed therapy.

“Thanks for the invitation,” Jungkook says once his shoes are on and he’s checked his pockets to make sure he has everything.

“Of course,” Yoongi answers, flashing a strained smile.

Jungkook wants to ask if his friend is okay. If he wants to stop this madness altogether, but he can’t bring himself to ask.

It’s like he’s watching a car crash into a wall, or the moments before the accident. He knows it’s about to happen, but there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

“We’ll let you know when we want to see you again,” Yoongi adds when Jungkook just stays standing there.

The dismissal is clear, and Jungkook nods his head once before wishing good night to his friend. Yoongi tells him to drive safe and text him when he’ll get home, which Jungkook knows he won’t do.

Perhaps because he knows he won’t go home for a while still.

And he doesn’t. He rides in the night, aimlessly, going out of the city with only the moon high above as company. His bike roars like a beast under him, eating mile after mile until trees replace concrete, until he has to stop at a small gas station that looks straight out of a horror movie to fill the tank. The weather outside has been growing warmer, but the night is cold, and the moon has been lowering on the horizon, replaced by a sea of distant stars, each of them sparkling with all the might of their own little world.

If only you knew what you mean to him. But you’re like the stars up above – out of reach, for the eternity of life. And though he’d wished to be an astronaut when he was a kid, Jungkook knows he’ll never get to sail in the sky above, to meet you in outer space meant to belong to you and him. Not to you and Yoongi.

The thought has him climbing on his bike again, and it roars back to life as he turns the key in the engine. A second later he’s back on the road, and he doesn’t even care about where he’s going. Doesn’t even care that he might get lost, because he’s felt lost for weeks anyway.

With the wind and the stars as his lone companions, Jungkook rides through the night, seeking salvation. Seeking to forget he ever said yes, to forget that the second he felt you on his dick, he knew no one else would ever compare to you.

But he’s always felt this way. The night sky is too pretty to dwell in memories though, and Jungkook stops where the road meets the sea, only to listen to the waves hitting the shore like they’re keen on forming their own melody. It’s different than the one of wind in his ear, yet it’s peaceful.

Everything but his heart seems peaceful in the night. So he breathes the saline air in, lets the mist from the waves hitting the rocks cool his features, and with eyes shut Jungkook takes everything in.

And when peace finally finds his heart too, somewhere between his inhales and exhales, Jungkook climbs back on the motorcycle and heads home.

*****

If there’s someone Jungkook knows he can talk to, it’s Namjoon. His older friend, brother, a calm presence in his life whom he’s sought the help of countless times in the past. Whenever his blood ran cold or hot from fights he won or lost in the past, whenever things don’t quite work out the way he’d hoped them too, Jungkook always knows Namjoon will be there for him.

So when Namjoon invites him over to his art gallery for a small gala he’s hosting for charity, Jungkook says yes. Because he knows he’ll likely be the only one of the friend group invited, mostly because he is some sort of a celebrity to begin with. And though he doesn’t mind people knowing him for his boxing career, he also doesn’t want to just be seen as this brute that only knows how to punch other people.

Namjoon knows it, and understands it all too well. Perhaps because he was a boxer once too before he turned into an artist.

So Jungkook dons a nice outfit, a black all-denim jean and jacket combo that he was given while shooting for Calvin Klein again a couple of weeks ago. He knows he’s going to stand out in the crowd of nicely-dressed art enthusiasts, but he doesn’t care.

Maybe if he stands out enough, he’s going to attract the attention of someone that can make him forget you riding his dick like you only have one night left on this Earth.

As soon as he gets to the gallery, Jungkook heads in, motorcycle helmet in hand. He aims for Namjoon’s office, which he knows the lock password of, and he leaves his helmet there before heading into the gallery proper.

He assesses the room for a moment, anxiety spiking in his blood at the sight of so many people crowded in a place that seems like it’s about to burst. He’s not surprised – Namjoon is a renowned painter now, and rich people flock to him like moths to a flame hoping that they would get the chance to buy one of his pieces.

Jungkook stays by the door, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he scans the gallery, trying to figure out if anyone would be worth his attention. He notices a woman that looks about his age, if not a little older. She’s wearing a red dress that enhances her curves beautifully, and her long hair cascades down her back as she turns towards him, a knowing smile on her lips. Jungkook returns the smile and he’s about to head her way when Namjoon comes into his vision.

“JK!” Namjoon lets out, happily clasping his shoulder. “I was wondering when you’d show up.”

Jungkook watches the girl as she winces, but then she turns away, walking towards where a group of rich sons are speaking. Maybe she’s here as the date of one of them. Jungkook reckons he doesn’t care because, frankly, even donned in that expensive dress she doesn’t look half as good as you look wearing just a t-shirt.

“Namjoon,” Jungkook returns, forcing his disappointment away, along with the feelings you always bring up in him. “This place is about to burst.”

“I didn’t expect so many people to show up for the charity,” Namjoon admits as he too scans the room. “But it’s all for the better!” He grabs two glasses of champagne from a server passing by, handing one to Jungkook. “We better drink before it starts because it promises to be long.”

Jungkook nods, clinking his glass with Namjoon’s before taking a long sip. The golden liquid bubbles in his mouth, and though Jungkook prefers whiskey, he does enjoy the taste as it slips in his throat.

“Got a lot of pieces on auction tonight?” he enquires as his friend knocks back the whole glass, never one to entertain a glass of champagne for more than a few seconds.

Namjoon wipes his mouth with the back of a hand, nodding curtly. “Five. The rest were provided by promising artists from the community.”

Before they can say more, a group of people approaches them, and Jungkook forces himself to participate in the conversation, offering them smiles and nods and a word here and there. It goes like this for a while, until someone ushers the room into silence so that the charity can properly start.

Jungkook slides to the back of the room, fishing a flask from an inner pocket of his jacket. He takes a swig of it, the strong taste of whiskey washing away the taste from the champagne he drank before. It’s a thankful respite, and Jungkook finds an empty wall to lean against as the auction starts.

It takes all of six minutes before the red-dress girl heads his way, meeting him away from the rest of the crowd.

“You’re not going to auction?” she asks as an introduction.

Jungkook shrugs, flashing her a smile. “Are you?”

She chuckles, and it lights up her eyes prettily. “I don’t think I’m here for this kind of prize.”

And just like that Jungkook knows exactly in what category she belongs. It might be harsh of him, but he recognizes her for what she is – someone that’s only trying to climb the social ladder, hoping that being a socialite might bring happiness into her life.

He might not have a lot of money to offer her, but for a night…

They’re fucking in the bathroom before he’s actually had the time to think this through. The condom on his dick feels like hell, keeping most of the sensations away, and she doesn’t feel quite as tight as you always do. As Yoongi’s ass did… Yet Jungkook only pushes her head down in the sink, watching how she’s grasping onto the edges of it, moaning unabashedly loud. The bathroom is far enough from the auction that Jungkook isn’t afraid to be heard, but he still puts his hand on her mouth, stifling her sounds.

And though he does find release, he realizes that it’s more of the haunting kind. As if his balls are still full, the ecstasy shying away from him. It only leaves him with a bitter aftertaste in mouth, and he declines the girl’s invitation to a hotel nearby.

As he watches her leave, he realizes that he doesn’t even know her name. And he doesn’t care for it. All that he cares for is to return to the auction, which thankfully is almost over. He listens to it in a daze, hoping that people can’t tell he just fucked someone, hoping that they can’t see the ghosts haunting him.

Namjoon sees them the moment the auction ends, and Jungkook tries to slip away in the night. Indeed, his older friend catches him in the office as he goes to retrieve his helmet, much like Yoongi had caught him that night when he’d established new boundaries.

“I hope you’re not leaving right away,” Namjoon says as he heads to a decanter on a small table by a bookshelf. “Just sold a piece for a billion won, and I need someone to celebrate with me.”

“This is hardly the first time you’ve sold a piece for that amount of money,” Jungkook reminds his friend, but he still puts the helmet down, heading for the leather seat on one side of the desk.

Namjoon pours whiskey in two crystal glasses, handing one to Jungkook before he sits on the other side. “I still never get used to it. Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Of course, man,” Jungkook answers.

He takes a sip of the whiskey, a much more expensive one than the one that’s hidden in the flask in the inner pocket of his jacket.

“Something’s been troubling you,” Namjoon comments after a small silence of both of them appreciating the whiskey. Jungkook remains silent, not knowing what to say. After a while, Namjoon says, “I invited Taehyung and Seokjin, but they were caught up at the restaurant.”

Seokjin’s restaurant. Where Taehyung and his jazz band play every now and then, offering live music to the patrons, and helping Taehyung get a good amount of listens on Spotify. Because Taehyung’s voice is smooth velvet, and Jungkook already can see his friend climbing the ladder to success.

“What about Hobi?” he can’t help but ask.

“His girlfriend was super sick, and he asked if I minded him staying with her.”

Jungkook thinks about Ryunah, and he makes a mental note to send a text to Hoseok later to make sure that the girl is okay. Because she’s his friend too – Hoseok has been dating her for so long that she’s become an integral part of the friend group too.

“And Yoongi said it was going to be too many people,” Namjoon adds.

Jungkook immediately bristles at the mention of Yoongi, and Namjoon cocks an eyebrow, never one to miss anything. Jungkook tries to play it cool by taking a swig of whiskey, but he highly doubts that it works.

“Yoongi is an introvert,” he says carefully.

Namjoon purses his lips, nodding once. “Are you still…”

He’s told Namjoon after the first time it happened. In a situation much like this one, though a lot more alcohol had been involved. So much that Jungkook had ended up spending the night on the couch of Namjoon’s loft, which lies on the third floor of this building.

“Once in a while,” Jungkook says, and he hates how his voice is clipped.

He knows he wears his emotions on his sleeve for all to see, and fuck he hates it.

“How has that been going?” Namjoon carefully asks.

Jungkook winces. He knows he can’t escape the truth, especially not when he’s speaking to Namjoon. “It’s fun. It really is, but I think it’s driving Yoongi and Y/n apart.”

“And what about you and Yoongi?”

Jungkook gulps, eyes falling to the desk between him and his friend. He doesn’t really know how to answer that question: he’s always seen Yoongi like a reliable older brother, someone that offers a helping hand when he needs it, but now he doesn’t feel like Yoongi would be inclined to help him all that much anymore.

Then again perhaps that’s not giving his friend enough credit. Because Yoongi knows about Jungkook’s crush on you, has known since the very first day, and he’s still been a good friend to Jungkook. Even if that very first night, Jungkook believed that you were meant to be his.

Some foolish, stupid part of him will always believe it.

*****

Five years ago

                The bar is filled to the brim with people who’d come to watch the Olympics on the big screens. Jungkook is squeezed in one corner, Namjoon sitting so close to him he’s been trying to mold himself into the wall to try to get some air. It’s not Namjoon’s fault – the bar really is too crowded, and they’ve been lucky that they’ve found a place to sit amidst the chaos.

Yoongi is seated across from Jungkook, Taehyung next to him, and Seokjin and Hoseok went to get a new pitcher of beer at the bar. Jungkook glances in that direction, trying to see his friends. They aren’t there, probably headed to the toilet first, yet Jungkook’s gaze catches on something. Or rather on someone.

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone as beautiful as you. Maybe he’s still concussed from his latest fight, though he was the one to come out of it as the victor. Had been the one to win every fight for a while, he reckons.

But you’re an angel brought to life. Beautiful hair framing your face, big eyes taking in the bar as if you’re waiting for someone. From the distance it’s hard to tell the color of your eyes, yet Jungkook thinks they are boring right through his soul as you meet his gaze.

The corners of your lips stretch in a mindless smile, as if it’s a reaction, and Jungkook thinks he’s been brought down to his knees. It hits harder than an uppercut to the jaw, and he can’t help but smile back, though he feels clumsy and young and stupid.

You look away, and he thinks he stumbles forwards, thinks he’s sprawled on the floor when Yoongi says, “Should we go get that fucking pitcher ourselves? I think Jin and Hobi went for a smoke.”

Jungkook meets Yoongi’s gaze, eyes slightly widened. Yoongi cocks an eyebrow in question, immediately noticing Jungkook’s state.

“Wh- what?” Jungkook lets out.

“What’s got you stuttering?” Yoongi asks, laughing. “Got hit too hard last time?”

Jungkook frowns, though he glances over his shoulder towards you again. “There’s a girl at the bar.”

As if he understood everything by that simple sentence, Yoongi says, “So you’re looking to fuck?” It’s teasing. It really is, so Jungkook doesn’t take it as an insult when Yoongi continues, “I thought tonight was for the boys.”

Jungkook feels his cheeks burning. “No I… She looks like she’s waiting for someone.”

Yoongi moves to the side, trying to catch sight of you. He nods when he does, before looking towards Jungkook again.

“She does.”

“Would it be stupid to ask for her number?”

“Whose number?” Namjoon jumps in.

Yoongi motions towards you. “That girl.”

“She’s hot,” Taehyung answers.

“Fuck, guys stop it,” Jungkook begs, embarrassment swirling in his blood. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Just ask her for her number,” Taehyung insists.

Jungkook shakes his head, scrunching up his nose. “No, all good. Yoongi’s right, tonight is for the boys.”

“I can ask for you,” Yoongi suggests, clearly feeling a little guilty for bringing the other guys into the conversation.

“Bruh, he’s a boxer, pretty sure he can ask a girl out himself,” Taehyung jokes.

Jungkook loves Taehyung to bits, but sometimes he hates him too. Right now is one of those times. “Fuck off, Tae.”

Taehyung just grins from ear to ear, eyes bright with laughter. “Love you too.”

“Let’s just go get that pitcher,” Yoongi then says.

Taehyung whines as Yoongi pushes him, but they soon slide out of the booth. Namjoon doesn’t budge, and Jungkook watches the two other guys as they head to the bar. Taehyung says something in Yoongi’s ear, and Yoongi looks back towards them as he answers.

Though he’s far enough, Jungkook can read the ‘fuck off’ on Yoongi’s lips that makes Taehyung burst out laughing. Taehyung seems to insist, and Yoongi folds, catching Jungkook’s gaze once before nodding his head.

And then Jungkook watches them as they approach you. He’s never seen Yoongi flirt with anyone before, and he watches in horror or maybe awe as Yoongi leans against the bar next to you, saying something that prompts you to laugh, while Taehyung stands behind him to talk to the barman.

Even though the bar is crowded, Jungkook thinks he hears your laugh. It’s crystal clear, soft, and he wishes he could be in Yoongi’s spot. But he’s a shit flirter, usually only hitting on girls to fuck them. It’s always been easy to him, that part, but something about the way you carry yourself tells him that it wouldn’t work with you.

He forces himself to look away, letting out a groan. Namjoon turns his head towards him, a contemplative look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Yoongi is speaking to her,” Jungkook says, motioning over his shoulder.

Namjoon looks in that direction, and says, “And they are looking this way.”

Jungkook glances over his shoulder right away, an anxious thrill moving through his body. He catches your gaze again, though you look away immediately. He’s pretty sure you’re blushing, though you shake your head no.

Jungkook looks away, feeling disappointed because you looked embarrassed. As if him wanting to have your number is an embarrassing thing. Or maybe he’s just overthinking everything, and Yoongi didn’t even mention him.

Taehyung comes back a few minutes later with a full pitcher. “Yoongi’s still talking to that girl,” he complains as he sits down. “She said no to give you her number, by the way.”

It’s the way Taehyung says the word, as if he doesn’t give a shit about it, that prompts Jungkook to look over his shoulder again.

Indeed, you’re still speaking to Yoongi. And you look like you’re enjoying yourself, laughing and smiling as Yoongi also sports that same comfortable attitude. It’s so rare to see Yoongi like this that Jungkook feels guilty for mentioning you, for acting as if he was entitled to you earlier.

When you rest a hand on Yoongi’s forearm where it’s resting on the counter Jungkook knows that he lost this fight. Not that it was a fight to begin with, but he still feels like he lost when Yoongi doesn’t come back for a while still, only coming back to them after Seokjin and Hoseok returned too, both smelling of cigarettes.

Yoongi sits at the head of the table, and Jungkook meets his gaze. He has a piece of paper in his hand and he hands it to Jungkook, causing silence to fall at the table.

“I got it,” Yoongi says, a smile gracing his lips.

Jungkook thinks that it’s the same smile Yoongi was offering you earlier, as if it’s lingering around.

“Ah, keep it,” Jungkook replies. “You two were clearly getting along.”

Yoongi frowns slightly. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want…” he trails off, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s all good,” Jungkook insists. “We never see you getting along with women, just keep it.”

“It’s because he prefers dick,” Taehyung jokes, and the table is a mixture of rolling eyes and loud laughs for a few seconds.

“Shut the fuck up,” Yoongi tells Taehyung, though his features are soft as he safely puts away your number in his wallet.

Jungkook watches the piece of paper as it disappears from view, and all he can do is just hope that he won’t regret his decision later on.

*****

The usual pain of his knuckles hitting the punching bag, of the recoil in his whole arm, is grounding. Jungkook goes through his usual routine, mind zeroing on the motions of his body, like the waves relentlessly hitting the shore. He’s just the vessel on this ocean, and each thump of his fists against the punching bag is satisfying, in ways words can’t explain.

It’s late. The world outside has gone dark, and Jungkook can see his reflection on the windows. From the corner of his eyes, he sees how precise each of his movements are, how fluid he is. Like a wave – never fully stopping, never lowering his guard. He knows this dance more than he knows how to breathe.

He started boxing when he got bullied so rough that going to school had started being dangerous to him, almost twenty years ago. Then, his small fists had barely been able to make the punching bag sway, but today he has to be careful not to let his strength go unchecked.

Yet he keeps going. The motions carry him, the 1-2-2-1 in his head a litany, like it’s a prayer to a religion only he knows. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t relent, doesn’t slow down, a machine more than a human being.

It’s the best way to evade his feelings. To find a place of cool calm where he can just be, he can just exist, instead of having to think and feel. Because lately he’s been feeling too much.

It’s been weeks since Namjoon’s gallery show. Since Namjoon asked if a wedge was created between Yoongi and Jungkook. And though Jungkook answered with the negative, the follow-up question Namjoon asked was haunting, and he doesn’t want to think about it.

So he goes faster, hits harder. Maybe if his punches are loud enough they’ll cover the sound of his thoughts. Or maybe he should have put some music on – the sound of his clipped breathing and grunts is haunting even to his own ears.

Frustration spikes in him, and Jungkook stops, grabbing the punching bag to keep it from swinging aimlessly. He leans his forehead against it, not caring that he’s covered in sweat and that his hair is clinging to it. He takes a few long breaths, focuses on the hammering of his heart in his chest, of the blood pumping in his veins.

And then he thinks of you, he thinks of Yoongi, and he’s right where he started this evening. Under you, under Yoongi, pleasuring the both of you while he was incapable of finding his own pleasure.

You didn’t say anything. Neither did Yoongi, or Jungkook. All of you pretended that it didn’t happen. That Jungkook hasn’t come in weeks now.

He’s just unable to do it with you now. Not that he doesn’t want to – he really does, but not being able to kiss you has been playing games on his mind, and most of the time he loses his erection before he’s been able to come.

He still feels pleasure. A lot of it. Far more than he’s felt in any sexual encounters before, but he just isn’t able to reach completion anymore. He thinks, when it’ll find him, maybe he’ll thank the God above, if there’s even one.

Or maybe he should be thanking the one in hell.

He sighs as his breathing slowly returns to normal, and then pushes away from the punching bag to head to where he left his water bottle and shirt. Indeed, he’s shirtless, and he watches his reflection in the windows as he takes off his gloves, and then gulps down the water. He isn’t as ripped as he was before he retired from boxing, but he’s still toned, defined muscles creating a play of shadows and lights on his chest and stomach. He’s proud of his body – proud of the way you look at him. Proud of the way Yoongi looks at him, with lust and attraction and a side of envy. Or at least Jungkook likes to tell himself so, because he looks at Yoongi with far too much envy for it to be healthy.

He empties the water bottle, before bending down to grab his shirt. Even though he’s sweaty, Jungkook puts it on, knowing he’ll throw it in the washing machine the minute he gets home. And then he heads to his locker, where he left his motorcycle helmet and keys, switching those with the gloves he always leaves here, and a second later he’s turning off the lights to the gym, before heading outside.

He locks the door, breathing in the fresh air of early spring, and then he walks over to where his bike is parked. He’s quick to mount the motorcycle, to push the key in the ignition, and his bike purrs to life. The vibration shakes through his entire body, and then Jungkook is shooting out of the parking lot, heading home.

The streets are empty at this time of night, and Jungkook enjoys the ride, even though it’s short-lived. First thing he does when he gets home is put everything he’s wearing in the washing machine, and then he takes a really long and hot shower, hoping to erase the feeling of you and Yoongi on him.

It doesn’t work. It never fully works, and here, alone in his shower, Jungkook can’t help the lust that takes over him. Can’t help the tightening of his balls and the hardening of his dick, but he ignores it, not caring that something aches in his lower stomach from the repetitive denied orgasms.

He steps out of the shower once the water has turned cold, grabbing a towel to dry out his hair before wrapping it around his hips. He’s about to step into his walk-in, which is connected to his bedroom, when he sees his phone lighting up where he left it next to the sink.

He frowns – who would text him at this hour? – before heading to the device. His heart sinks in his chest when he sees your name, mostly because you never text him so late.

Did something happen with Yoongi?

Apparently not, Jungkook thinks. Not as he reads,

[4:57 am] You: I’m sorry about tonight

Jungkook doesn’t know what you’re apologizing for. You’re always good, so good to him. His heart has just been playing with his mind.

[4:58 am] Jungkook: why? [4:58 am] Jungkook: don’t be sorry, you were great

It doesn’t take you long to reply. Or at least to start typing a reply. Jungkook watches the three dots appearing and disappearing for almost a whole minute before your text finally comes in.

[4:59 am] You: you didn’t cum [4:59 am] Jungkook: don’t worry about it

Maybe you’re drunk, or maybe the late hour has been getting to your head much like it’s been getting to his. Because your reply makes him so hard he thinks he might actually be able to bust tonight.

[5:00 am] You: i miss feeling you cum in me

Jungkook shuts his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose as if that would change your reply. When he opens his eyes again, he sees that it hasn’t, that you really did say that. He doesn’t really know what to make of it. So he heads to his bed, takes off the towel and lies down, fully naked and skin still wet from the shower, right in the middle of the mattress.

[5:01 am] Jungkook: you’re filthy [5:01 am] You: only for you

He’s going insane.

[5:02 am] Jungkook: are you sure you should be texting me this shit rn? [5:03 am] You: honestly Idk. yoons is sleeping next to me

Jungkook oh so wishes it was him next to you. Him that would get to fall asleep in your bed, him that would get to fuck you in the middle of the night whenever you can’t sleep.

[5:03 am] Jungkook: I don’t think you should be telling me this when he’s not with us [5:04 am] You: I know [5:04 am] You: I agree [5:04 am] You: but I haven’t been able to sleep bc I’ve been thinking about you filling me up, and it feels wrong to wake yoons up for this [5:05 am] Jungkook: maybe u should wake him up. Maybe you can ride him with your eyes closed thinking that it’s me

Jungkook starts jerking off right then and there. He feels like what he’s doing is wrong, far too wrong, but somehow, he’s aroused by the thought of you unable to sleep because of him, because you want him so desperately.

You don’t reply for a while. And he doesn’t think he deserves a reply. He knows he’ll hate himself as soon as his lust passes, if it ever does.

So he shuts his eyes. Remembers the first time he felt your walls clenching around his dick, and he squeezes himself harder to try to reproduce the feeling. Nothing compares, but you’re there, printed behind his closed eyelids, and he thinks maybe he’ll finally be able to come.

His phone vibrates, and like an addict in need of a hit he quickly grabs it where he left it on his mattress. And when he sees what you sent, he goes into a frenzy he’ll only later describe as the stupidest moment of his life.

You sent him a nude. He can’t see your face, but your lips are on full display, your breasts the centerpiece of the picture. Your nipples are perked prettily, as if just begging for him to suck on them, and he squeezes his dick so hard it actually fucking hurts.

He doesn’t hesitate. He takes a picture of himself that he sends to you, the tip of his dick leaking with precum.

[5:09 am] Jungkook: I’m so fkg hard for you [5:10 am] You: just fucking cum, jk, it shouldn’t be that hard

The degradation in the sentence sends him flying over the edge, and he grunts loudly as he does come on his stomach. He picks up his pace, milks his orgasm as it runs through him, alighting every single one of his nerves with pleasure. He’s shaking when he’s done, feeling weak and blissed and like he’s just committed something unforgivable. He wonders if you feel the same, lying in bed next to Yoongi.

Something breaks. Something physically breaks in him and he hates it. Hates every moment that led him to do this, to do the irreparable to one of his friends. He reckons, if Yoongi hates him forever, he’ll deserve it. Because he knows he won’t be able to hide this from his friend, knows that…

His phone rings, breaking him out of his train of thoughts. To his surprise, and mostly fear, it’s Yoongi calling on Facetime. Jungkook swallows a lump in his throat as he answers, the camera obviously angled towards his face.

Yoongi appears a few seconds later, looking half asleep. “So you’re sending nudes to my girlfriend now?”

Jungkook feels tears burning in his eyes. “I’m so sorry…”

Yoongi laughs, and it breaks into a moan that makes the tears still in Jungkook’s eyes.

“She wanted me to…” Yoongi grunts. “Call you to show you what you’ve done to her.”

And then the camera flips, and it’s your ass on display as you ride Yoongi in reverse cowgirl. Every thought eddies out of Jungkook’s head, and he just watches, entirely forgetting that he’s covered in his own cum when you moan.

Yoongi’s cock glistens in the dim light of the lamp on your night table. You’re so wet Jungkook can hear it through the phone, and his arousal spikes, waking something in him.

“Why don’t you slap her ass?” he tells Yoongi, voice low and dark. “To punish her for what she did tonight.”

Yoongi doesn’t even hesitate. And he slaps so hard Jungkook can see his imprint slowly forming on your skin. It’s sinful, and he does feel bad because the sound you let out is slightly pained, until Yoongi massages your ass and you moan.

Then Jungkook disconnects from reality. Or maybe he dissociates. He knows he tells Yoongi what to do. Knows he tells Yoongi to fuck you in doggy style, to pull at your hair and mark your back with his nails. He guides his friend through the whole thing until his own dick is aching again, ready to go even though he already came. So he jerks himself off, the pain in his chest increasing yet he’s unable to pay attention to it. Unable to do anything other than watch you and Yoongi fuck like animals, until Yoongi comes and pulls out to let Jungkook see his cum dripping out of your cunt.

Jungkook comes at the sight. Not as much as he did earlier, but he still grunts and moans and curses as new cum meets the one that was already on his stomach. He feels even more disgusting, but you and Yoongi don’t seem to notice. Indeed, you invite Jungkook over the next day, and maybe he’s just a little too distracted to notice the shadows in Yoongi’s gaze.

Jungkook accepts the invitation, knowing that he’ll never be able to say no to you. And when you finally hang up, after having spoken for a few minutes, Jungkook barely has the strength to drag himself to the shower to clean up.

Once he’s lying back in bed, he feels like he’s spinning. Like the Earth has sped up, or maybe like he’s a mere sock getting tossed around in the dryer. It’s sickening, just like that feeling that’s clutching at his guts, and that’s been clutching at his guts for a while now.

Because his bed is empty, cold. His bed is always empty and cold. He doesn’t have you by his side, doesn’t have someone to warm up the covers. Hasn’t had anyone to warm up his covers in what feels like forever now.

And so his heart breaks, even more. It aches like acid was poured on it, and no amount of breathing techniques he’d used to get in the game before his boxing matches help. No, the tears win, and though he feels weak for it, he lets them free. Lets them be testaments of his feelings for you, of the loneliness that’s been creeping on him every fucking day since he felt you on his dick for the first time.

The car looms closer to the wall and tonight, Jungkook thinks it may very well meet its end sooner than expected.

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

*chuckles* we're in danger. What did you guys think about this one? I'm so afraid you won't like the direction this fic is taking :') let me know what you think!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.

Taglist (add yourself to the taglist here) (strike-through means dumblr isn't letting me tag you):

@pamzn | @chimchimmarie | @miksandcheese | @bergandysam | @yoonmin-af | @genesistemas | @misfortune2012 | @mortal-body-timelesssoul | @pjkthjjk | @rtvbts | @slitheropen | @gimeow | @backseatana | @hellshoneybee | @whoa-jo | @agustdsciggy | @prettytaesworld | @shay-r | @kam9404 | @aretha170 | @qalable | @jeonn04 | @joonsmagicshop | @bxcndd | @babycandy111 | @hoseoksluna | @yedamies-blackswan | @yu-justme | @valhallawhispers | @baluega | @kuromikoooo | @burnahtsw | @gaby-93 | @mother2monsters |@nochelunaxx

THIS IS AN ANGST MASTERPIECE!!

Seriously, if you love angst, with sprinkles of toxic, unrequited love, smut, OC being clueless to the devastation she leaves in her wake, then you will absolutely love this story.

This is a story about what can go wrong with an open relationship or inviting a third person into your relationship and your bedroom.

This story is so good, you won’t be disappointed if you are an angst fan!

I punish myself when I read angst but ugh it’s sooo good! I can’t help it!

So give it a read, you won’t be disappointed 😉

Sinful Lust | Masterpost (myg & jjk)

☆summary: in an attempt to spice up your bedroom life with your boyfriend Min Yoongi, you suggest bringing another man into the action. Yoongi seems reluctant at first, but when you mention his friend Jeon Jungkook, he can’t deny his attraction. All that’s left to do is to convince Jungkook into participating...

☆status: completed

☆pairing: bisexual boyfriend!Yoongi x female!reader x Jungkook

☆rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

☆genre: snippets of life!au, smut, angst

☆total word count: 71.9k

☆a/n: Yeah so. This is pure filth. And then pure angst, and more filth. And then angst with a big A. You'll hate me, and you'll love it (at least I hope so) (it does involve cheating tho so beware if cheating is a trigger to you). Thank you @moonleeai as always for beta-ing this fic <3

☆a/n pt2: I do not own BTS or any of the members. I do not know what they are like irl (I do not claim to know their personalities, sexual orientations, beliefs, etc.). This fic is just a work of fiction, so please keep that in mind while reading

☆add yourself to the taglist here

☆☆☆☆☆

➳ Teaser

➳ Chapter one: when it starts (10.4k)

I know you want it.

➳ Chapter two teaser

➳ Chapter two: when you can't resist after a dinner with friends (9.4k)

Shut up before I change my mind.

➳ Chapter three: when you establish ground rules (12.4k)

You think you deserve it?

➳ Chapter four: when Jungkook questions everything (8.6k)

And what about you and Yoongi?

➳ Chapter five: when the unforgivable happens (8.3k)

I didn't want you to be alone.

➳ Chapter six: when it breaks (12.5k)

Well, I guess this is it.

➳ Chapter seven: a year later (10.1k)

You really loved her, didn't you?

☆☆☆☆☆

All rights belong to @/oddinary4bts, 2023, 2024. Do not copy, translate or repost

Part two coming soon 💜 I’m writing it at the moment, it’s a graduation ceremony special!

Thank you for those who have read it so far, means a lot to me 🫶🏻

Then I might do a future epilogue later

S͟a͟v͟a͟g̲e͟ L͟o͟v͟e͟

Pairing: Jimin X OC. Jungkook X OC

Length: 10,000+ words

Rating: 15+ (it has no sexual activity or extreme violence, but has adult themes like cheating, toxic relationship, pregnancy and swearing, some mention of sexual themes but not graphic)

TW/Content: Angsty,angsty fluff, sadness, anger, mild violence (punching), depression, low self esteem, toxic relationship, hateful words, gaslighting, emotionally abusive, jealousy, mentally abusive, arguing and shouting, OC is chubby, unrequited love (but not really), male best friend is always there, clueless best friends, cheating, pregnancy (not OC) fluffy best friend, swearing, bad body image, Angst with happy ending, feelings exposed.

Kissing and hugging, mention of sexual things but no actual sexual content.

(Maybe in a part two if I feel like it)

But Jungkook has soft dom energy in the the way he talks to her and treats her.

OC and Jimin being savage loves in their own ways.

Genre: Angst, Toxic relationship, break up, angsty with a happy ending. Best friends being clueless.

Authors note: Not proof read but checked quickly by myself, was written in a day so it just flew out of my head.

Capitals means they are shouting or screaming at each other, which meant that when she tells Jimin off she is really MAD!

Wanted to prove I could write something without the story getting sexual or yandere etc. And I would SHARE IT!

Sorry about the font, but not going over it to change it now. Had trouble with copy and paste, but I like it this way!

========================================

F͟l͟a͟s͟h͟b͟a͟c͟k͟

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅...."

𝑨 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑪𝑬!!! 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲!!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑺𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒙𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏? 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒊 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚?! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆!!"

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒘, 𝒊'𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉.

"𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆! 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅! 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔! 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!!“

𝑯𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒚 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅.

"𝑬𝑿𝑪𝑼𝑺𝑬 𝑴𝑬! 𝑰𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵!! 𝑶𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑬𝑺!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒆.

"𝑺𝒉𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆!"

𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒓𝒚.

"𝑰 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑼𝑷!! 𝑺𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑵𝑶𝑾!!"

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅𝒍𝒚.

𝑷𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏....𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕!!

"𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑺𝑯𝑼𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝑼𝑷!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒈𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚.

𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆!

"𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬!!"

𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

"𝑫𝒐 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏! 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕!!"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌.

"𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏'𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐. 𝑯𝒆 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕"

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑺 𝑺𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑫𝒀!!! 𝑰 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬𝑹!!"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆.

𝑴𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔, 𝒊'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔𝒆, 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒄 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒌.

𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒈𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏.

𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑𝒔, 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆.

𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏?

𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍!

"𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒆?"

𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

"𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚, 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏, 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒈𝒐 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒈𝒐 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒃𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒊 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅.."

𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒖𝒍𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏.

𝑰 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑!

"𝑫𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑰 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼!! 𝑮𝑬𝑻 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝑬!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑴𝑬!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑨𝑫𝑬 𝑴𝑬 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑻! 𝑰 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼!!“

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅.

"𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒌! 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒃𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒎. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒕, 𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓'𝒔! 𝑺𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒂 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏, 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝑻𝑫'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒔𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅. 𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒂𝒏𝒙𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇! 𝑩𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒆! 𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏, 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆.

"𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑱𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑵! 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑭𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑨𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫 𝑴𝑬 𝑨𝑮𝑨𝑰𝑵! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑨𝑩𝑺𝑶𝑳𝑼𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑬!!"

𝑰 𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂𝒃𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈.

"𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑯 𝑮𝑶 𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑫𝑶! 𝑰'𝑴 𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑬 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑳 𝑩𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹!! 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑨𝑩𝑳𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑺𝑳𝑬𝑬𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑾𝑨𝒀, 𝑰 𝑪𝑨𝑵 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬!! 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 𝑾𝑨𝑺𝑵'𝑻 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑺𝑰𝑿 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑯𝑺!!"

𝑯𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒆.

"𝑫𝑶𝑵'𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑲 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑱𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑲𝑶𝑶𝑲 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻!!! 𝑴𝑨𝒀𝑩𝑬 𝑰 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑰 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼, 𝑺𝑶 𝑰 𝑾𝑶𝑼𝑳𝑫 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑮𝑶𝑻 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑨𝑺𝑺! 𝑨𝑺 𝑯𝑬'𝑺 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑨 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑳 𝑴𝑨𝑵 𝑨𝑪𝑻'𝑺 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬! 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮, 𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑳𝒀 𝑨𝑩𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑽𝑬, 𝑮𝑨𝑺𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑺𝑺!! 𝑰 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑶𝑵 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑮𝑯 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 𝑰𝑻!! 𝑺𝑶 𝑲𝑬𝑬𝑷 𝑴𝒀 𝑩𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑭𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑺 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑶𝑭 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑺𝑻𝑫 𝑹𝑰𝑫𝑫𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑯!! 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫𝑩𝒀𝑬 𝑨𝑺𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬!“

𝑰 𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒌𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕!

𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑻𝒂𝒆𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒆'𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒑𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆!

𝑰'𝒎 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇𝒇, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝑱𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.

𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆!

========================================

All I can do is sob and I can't think of anything else, I can't sleep, I haven't showered or bathed in four days and I haven't thought of eating either, I tried to but it tastes like cardboard.

I feel like I just got out of a fever dream, one of my own stupid making.

I bet I look dreadful, I know my eyes are swollen and bloodshot and my face is definitely all puffy and red, I know I’m looking awful.

My hair is probably looking like a literal bird's nest right now and my eyes will also be looking black too from zero sleep.

I bet I look like the crypt keeper right now, but a fat one!

I muted my phone calls at first, then I turned it off where there were annoying notification sounds coming from all my social media too.

Some randoms I didn't even know had been messaging me, I know they are just trying to get the dirt on the absolute shit show that is my life right now.

I know they all filmed what has to be the most humiliating moment of my life, I hope my brother doesn't see it but I bet Jungkook heard about it from Taehyung who was there too.

So that means Jin probably does know.

I don’t want any lectures or pity parties.

I cringe knowing that everyone is gonna say I told you so, but really they all don't know the truth of why I stayed with him.

Someone was banging on my door for half an hour yesterday but I didn't answer it, just in case it was Jimin.

As I didn't want to see him or listen to his gaslighting ass.

He tried knocking on the door and calling all day Sunday after his baby momma and her friend had told me what he had done.

This is the thing he couldn't ever fix, not this time...It's permanent.

And my toxic nightmare is finally over...It’s finally done.

Why does he always do this to me?

He always cheats on me and then comes back telling me that he was wasted, drunk or the woman came onto him.

Then he manipulates me, lies, gas lights me and then cries if I don't listen to his apologies.

He knows how much it messes with my head, with my body image, especially when the women are tall, model looking and slim.

I'm short and also chubby, I wear glasses and wear cute and comfortable clothes, not short tight dresses.

Someone is currently banging on my door again and I just pull the quilt over my head trying to hide from the whole world.

I can hear someone shouting but I just put my hands over my ears and hum childishly under the blankets wanting the shouting and banging to stop.

When the banging stops I sigh, why don't they get that I don't want anyone's pity or fake sad faces, I don't want anyone asking me bullshit questions under the guise of being nice just so they can get the tea about my trauma.

And I definitely don't want to see Jimin.

I don't want to talk about how my heart has been ripped from my chest and stomped on, and not just by Jimin.

Or how there is no coming back from this, no lie or manipulation can make this go away, it's the permanent kind of mistake that I don't want to live with or have to deal with, not anymore.

I can't keep my mind occupied from what really torments me, I usually distract my mind with the drama Jimin brings me but not anymore, this is too much.

Jimin made his bed and he can damn well lay in it, we are done and I'm finally grieving the utter disappointment, disaster and despair that my relationship with him has been.

This whole relationship has damaged my soul and will leave a permanent mark.

Toxic wasn't a strong enough word to describe what our relationship was.

When I jumped into this relationship it was to forget someone else, but it never worked.

I’d never have to be there waiting for him to come home from the club anymore, or knowing I’m sleeping alone yet again.

Calling him only to get voicemail again or texting and seeing that he’s left me on read for the thousandth time.

Having people DM me to tell me that they are sleeping with Jimin or that they have just seen Jimin cheating with someone.

Or the multiple women’s scents lingering on his clothes, the occasional makeup smears on his shirt.

The marks he insists are scratches or pinch marks from working out.

My heart is no longer in my chest and I feel hollow and empty, but I also feel a strange calm, a feeling of relief that I can finally break free from this toxic and painful farce of a relationship.

It's cathartic and it feels like I have broken free from him mentally, emotionally and physically.

I'm grieving the painful loss but I'm scared of being alone after all my friends left or betrayed me because of him and of course some left because of me staying with him after his cheating.

It's been three years of me eating away my sorrows, crying into my best friend's arms, getting medication to deal with my depression and anxiety because of the pain and suffering.

Three years of my body looking worse and me not caring about my appearance anymore, because that's how I feel inside...Worthless and hollow.

Like I would never deserve or get the man I really wanted, he’s proven time and time again that he only wants to be my best friend.

When I think about it I don't ever remember a time when Jimin wasn't hurting me or making me feel like a piece of garbage.

Our honeymoon period was about six months and then it went to shit, then I found out he had cheated.

My friends all warned me away from him when I was in my first year of college and I should have listened, I was stupid and thought I could see the best in people.

One by one my friends had arguments with me about him, lost interest because of my depression and me not going out much anymore, or they slept with Jimin too.

The only ones I still see are my brother Seokjin and my best friend Jungkook, even though they don't see me as much due to them having arguments with Jimin about how he treats me.

Taehyung is sometimes still around due to Jungkook and Jin though.

But I don't see Yoongi or Namjoon anymore because they detest Jimin.

I have lost count of the amount of times Jin had Jimin by his shirt threatening to punch his lights out.

Jungkook punched him once for sleeping with my other best friend Sharmin, they were doing it behind my back for six months.

This was at the beginning of the second year of our relationship.

My other childhood friend Denise slept with him on a drunken night out too, it was the night that I went to my auntie's wedding with Jin and Jungkook.

Jimin didn't want to come to the wedding with me because my family really hates him and he refused to be judged by them.

I wasn't aware that they all knew he was a cheater because Jin had told them.

That incident with Denise was the first time I was aware of him cheating on me, others already knew he was a cheater and they all tried to shield me from it.

They tried to force Jimin to break up with me but he never did, he would just goad them and tell them to fuck off.

It’s why Yoongi had punched him, he was vile about it and had got up in Yoongi’s face too.

The others knew because they had caught Jimin in the act multiple times, they had all threatened him, had him by the throat and had even punched him.

A mutual friend called Taehyung took a picture of them kissing in the club that night and had sent it to Jungkook’s phone, who totally gave it away by the look on his face and I found out because I grabbed his phone feeling worried for him.

It was then that he told me everything and explained how it wasn't the first time, I also found out that day that Jimin was cheating on me the whole time.

He promised to change and I believed him like a stupid idiot, I clung to a useless pipe dream.

Should've known better.

Jungkook has been my best friend since we were six and we have both grown up together, we went through our teens learning and making mistakes.

We had shared our first kiss when we were 13, a peck and it was a dare at a sleepover and Jungkook was a little awkward for a few weeks after but we got over it.

Both of us started having a rebellious stage when we were both sixteen.

We were bunking off school and daring each other to do things, getting drunk and smoking weed.

We once went skinny dipping because of a dare and another time I had to flash him, we had our first French kiss together at 16 too and we made out grinding on each other when we were wasted too, but Jungkook obviously didn't remember it because he got a girlfriend two weeks later.

We are the kind of friends who are comfortable cuddling and sharing a bed, telling each other our secrets and dreams.

I had a huge crush on him all through my childhood and teen years, by the time I was sixteen I knew that I was totally in love with him.

I lamented the whole thing and tortured myself about telling him, I was worried that I would lose him.

I was finally going to tell him on my seventeenth birthday after my other friend Denise told me to go for it, but a few days before I was going to surprise him he got a girlfriend and my heart literally broke into pieces.

I stayed being his friend and had to watch him be with another girl, so I had to learn to separate my crush from my friendship.

The only boyfriend I have ever had was Jimin.

I told Jungkook I had a boyfriend when he asked me what the surprise was but I didn't have one.

I lied when he got his first girlfriend and wasn't spending as much time with me, by the time he finished with the girl I just said I split up with the fake boyfriend.

I also lied and told him I had sex with that boyfriend before I met Jimin, I didn't though.

He was disappointed at me for staying with Jimin and our relationship suffered a lot because he would get angry at me every time I forgave Jimin.

Jungkook would argue with me, with our hurt feelings he would stay away for a few days, then come back knowing how hurt I would be to lose him too.

========================================

I panic when I hear the keys unlock my front door, wondering who the hell would have the spare keys.

Who would be able to get them from my mother?

I hope it's not Seokjin as he will kill Jimin this time and I don't want him to get arrested due to me.

I grip on to my quilt when I hear the footsteps approaching, I don't want anyone to see me like this.

"Princess?"

I breath hitches immediately and I hear him sigh, he tries to pull the quilt from me.

"Baby, come on it's okay, let me see you"

I pull the quilt from my head and my lip quivers when he looks down to me with sad eyes.

"Oh my Princess, come here"

He pulls me into his arms and I straddle him crying my heart out, he smooths my back softly rocking me.

"It's okay Baby, it's gonna be okay. I'm here now and I'm gonna take care of my Princess"

Jungkook has come like he usually does. Why does he always come to save me, comfort me and look after me?

I don't deserve his kindness and love.

He's had to put up with this kind of shit for the three years of me being with Jimin and he still hasn't left this friendship.

"I heard from Taehyung that you had a huge argument in college with Jimin, he only picked up some details, I'm so sorry Baby. You don't deserve this kind of pain, my Princess. I tried calling you and texting and you didn't answer, I got really worried when you didn't answer the door to me Baby. I had to go get the keys from momma when you didn't answer the phone or the door"

He caresses my hair as he carries on gently rocking me, he's always called my Mother momma too.

"He...He...J-Jungkook..He..I.."

That's it I start sobbing again.

"It's okay Baby, you don't have to talk about it yet, don't upset yourself"

He coos at me kissing the top of my head.

"Don't cry Princess, it hurts my heart, please don't cry"

He sounds forlorn when he talks to me, it’s like he is in pain too.

My cries eventually turn into shudders and I calm down.

I must have fallen asleep in his arms because when I open my eyes again it's dark outside.

He must be stiff from holding me in the same position for so long.

"Are you awake?"

I hear him whisper and I nod into his chest.

"Shall we get you something to eat, and don't say no because I know you haven't ate anything in days, I know you by now"

He quietly says into my hair.

"Not hungry"

I mumble into his chest and he tuts at me.

"Baby, you have to eat! Now I'm gonna help sort you out and we are gonna have something to eat okay!"

Jungkook scolds me and I sigh and slowly start to nod because I know he won't take no for an answer.

"Let's run you a bath first and then get you into some comfy pyjamas, then I'm ordering us some takeaway, okay Princess"

I just mumble okay into his chest.

Jungkook places me on the sofa and goes off to run me a bath, I hear the water running and him moving about.

But being left to my own thoughts gets me crying again, by the time he comes back I'm in a state again.

"Oh my Baby! Come here!"

He says sadly pulling me into his arms picking me up, I cling to him like a koala and just sob.

I think I'm crying for many reasons, the reason I got into the relationship in the first place, the constant cheating, the outcome of said cheating, finally being done with the relationship.

How unloved, drained and damaged he has left me feeling and me feeling like I'm actually going to be free from it, it's finally over.

It's like I feel utter relief, but I'm numb because I carried on with this shit show for only one reason and now I have to live with my thoughts again, my pain.

"Come on my Princess, I'm going to help you alright. Is that okay? I won't look at you, but you need to wash and get into some clean clothes. Is that okay?"

I don't reply at first and just panic in his arms, he can't see me with no clothes on, he will be disgusted and think I look horrible.

He only saw me in underwear a few years back, once when I flashed him as a teen and once naked in the shower by mistake when I was about nineteen, I've put on weight since then.

"Princess?? Answer me! Words...Is that okay?"

Jungkook has a stern voice when he asks me and I just nod in his chest.

"Words Baby"

"Hmm okay, y-yes"

I mutter quietly.

"Okay let's go to the bathroom"

He softly replies, pecking my hair.

Jungkook puts me down and I just stare at the ground feeling flustered and embarrassed.

"Arms up Baby, good girl"

I slowly put them up and he slowly pulled my hoodie off.

Then he reaches for my t-shirt and I start to panic because I have no bra on and he is going to see my chubby belly too

Grabbing on to the bottom of my t-shirt to stop him he tuts at me.

"Princess! Are you gonna do it yourself? What's wrong?"

I shake my head and tears start to drop from my eyes.

"Y-You can't see me, I'm gross! J-Jimin said he only cheated because I've turned into a fat pig and I look disgusting! I d-don't want you to be d-disgusted by me or my fat!”

He now looks really angry with me and he cusses loudly.

"He fucking said what?! How dare he talk about my Princess like that! I'm gonna punch his lights out when I see him next!!"

Jungkook looks furious and I start worrying that he is going to get in trouble and I'm not worth getting arrested for.

"NO!! JUNGKOOK! You can't get arrested because of me! I'm not worth it!"

I panic and he just sighs at me.

"You ARE worth it! To ME you are worth it! You are my beautiful best friend and I would go to jail...for you"

He tells me with no hesitation in his voice.

"Now stop being stupid, I could NEVER be disgusted by you! Come on, I won't look! Let's get you in the tub before it gets cold"

Jungkook adds pulling my top off looking me in my eyes, my arm goes to my belly immediately but he doesn’t say anything.

He just kneels down and tugs at my leggings looking to the side, then he gingerly takes my socks off.

Only my panties are left so he quickly yanks those down and stands up only looking me in the eyes.

"Come on Baby, get in the tub"

I quickly get in and pull my knees up to my chest, he gives me a small smile and nods to himself in reassurance, picking up my dirty clothes to put them in the washing basket.

"The sponge and body wash is there. I will help you do your hair first okay. Then you can wash yourself, alright Princess"

He quietly says pulling the shower attachment to rinse my hair, I sigh as he runs his fingers through my long tresses.

Stopping he puts shampoo on and massages it in making me hum and put my head back.

"Does that feel relaxing Baby?"

He gives me a little chuckle as I nod.

After finishing my hair he tells me to wash my body and he's going to go order some food.

I nod and gingerly pick up the sponge washing myself all over, after I'm finished he knocks back on the door and asks if I'm ready to get out.

I reply that I am and he walks in holding up a towel and wrapping me up in it.

Then he picks me up and walks me into my room.

He proceeds to dry my hair first and then tells me to dry my body, he goes off when the door buzzer sounds off.

I get myself dried and look at the loungewear set he has set down on the bed for me.

I grab the top first and quickly put it on, then I quickly pull on the bottoms.

Jungkook walks in just as I finish and gives me a small smile.

"Let's put your hair in a plait or something first. The food is here Baby, so let's hurry up and go eat"

I nod and he comes over to comb through my knotty hair, then he does it in a side plait.

Afterwards we sit down to eat, well Jungkook eats and then forces me to eat by feeding me himself when he sees that I just push my food around on my plate.

When he is satisfied that I have eaten enough he cleans the dishes and we snuggle up in my room to watch one of my comfort films.

We watch spirited away, he knows it won't trigger me or remind me of Jimin because he never watched anime with me, he hated it and called it childish.

As I cuddle up to Jungkook I wonder how I can be so lucky to have such a great best friend.

He has always been there for me, he has never left me even after the arguments we have had about Jimin.

Jungkook even put up with Jimin's horrible attitude every time he came to mine, with the constant sarcastic comments and the loud scoffing every time Jungkook talked to me.

He ignored it all just to make me happy.

He came on my birthday to see me, on Christmas days too and never forgot any important events, not like Jimin did.

Jungkook has even put me above the few girlfriends he has had and finished with them when they got jealous of our relationship, one demanded for him to stop seeing me and he refused and finished with her the next day.

He refused to go to any dances with girls that asked in high school too because he would always go with me.

They didn't like him calling me Princess at all or hugging me goodbye or pecking my head, or when he would hold my hand.

Or when he would drop a date to run to me because of Jimin cheating again, when he would tell them he couldn't spend Sundays with them because it was our day together.

I sometimes feel really bad anxiety and guilt about what he has given up due to me, am I stopping him from being happy, from finding love?

I actually told him this once, to stop finishing with his girlfriends because of me and he said if they didn't like his Princess then they aren't the one for him, that they have to be able to deal with the fact that his best friend is a woman.

All of his relationships were short and he told me he never loved them, that it was easy to choose me over them.

But I still feel riddled with an uncomfortable guilt about ruining his relationships and interfering with his dates too.

I feel like I'm subconsciously trying to keep him to myself or that I'm messing with his relationships on purpose because of my own problems and feelings.

That I was toxic because I stayed with Jimin not only because I was trying to forget Jungkook but because he would come comfort me and spoil me for weeks after Jimin had cheated.

========================================

Jungkook has stayed with me all week, he even called the college for me and got me my notes from any classes I needed.

He has been a godsend and an Angel like he always is.

He even spoke to Seokjin and my mother when they came round and I didn't want to talk to anyone yet.

I felt embarrassed because they were all right about Jimin and I had stubbornly ignored all the talks and advice.

Jungkook knew that there was a few videos going around and told me people were actually on my side, but I didn't want to relive it.

Apparently no one at college was saying bad things about me, he told me that they are mad at Jimin for how he treated me AND Candice.

I told him that I still needed a little time and that I wasn't ready to go back and hear the gossip yet.

Jimin tried knocking on the door twice over the last week and Jungkook said I didn't want to see him anymore.

When I finally texted him to come get his things he must have thought he could get in and gaslight me again, but he was definitely not happy when Jungkook was the one that came to the door with a box of his belongings.

He just got into a fight with Jungkook at my front door now too, his attitude stinks.

It happened right after he handed Jimin's things to him in a box because I definitely didn't want to.

Jimin clearly wasn't happy that Jungkook was still with me and had just answered the door in just a pair of sweats and socks with no top on.

Jungkook punched him hard giving him a black eye after he started goading him saying that he must have finally hit it and saw how good my fat ass bounces when you hit it from the back.

That I was really good at sucking dick and that maybe he can finally feel what it's like for me to deep throat him, he was vile with his words.

After that he said that he was glad that Jungkook could finally get with me after pining after me for so long and how horrible it must have been for Jungkook having to listen to him fuck me raw all those times he slept over.

Then I gasped when he said that he made sure that I used to scream extra loud the nights Jungkook stayed over, just to give him something to wank off to, where he felt sorry for him.

That he stayed with me just to piss Jungkook off and how he always used to laugh with his friends when he used to see how sad and love sick he was over me. Jungkook totally lost it punching him again making his nose bleed.

He was absolutely fuming when he slammed the door in his face, it made a picture fall on the floor and I could see how furious he was as he paced around the room.

I just walked over and cuddled him, it stopped his pacing, luckily it calmed him down enough to not go beat Jimin's ass, because he looked ready to go back to the front door and kill him.

When I asked him if he was okay he just kissed me on the head and then nodded silently, then quietly saying he just needed a few minutes alone, then he walked off to the bathroom slamming the door hard.

I sat there feeling really uncomfortable because of what Jimin had just said to Jungkook, surely Jungkook doesn't feel that way about me, he would have told me...Wouldn't he?

He always told me everything, we never kept secrets from each other.

Why was Jimin saying those things?

I knew Jimin was jealous of Jungkook and that's all it sounded like up until the fight I last had with him and he had mentioned Jungkook in jealousy.

But what Jimin just said to him was too much, what does he know that I don't?

What did Jimin see that I didn't?

I know that I have always loved Jungkook but he never felt that way about me, did he?

When Jungkook doesn't come out of the bathroom I quietly walk over to the door on top toes, I’m about to knock but I pause when I hear him sniffling and clearly crying.

Why is he crying?

Do I still knock? What if he's crying because he can't take my shit anymore and all of this has finally gotten to him?

I pick up the courage to finally knock after agonising about whether to disturb him or not.

"Jungkook? Please let me in"

I plead with him, feeling guilty that he's crying because of Jimin and what he just did.

He goes quiet and I hear the tap turn on and water splashing, then I hear him let out a loud sigh.

When he finally opens the door I can clearly see that he has been crying, his eyes are red and puffy, his nose red.

He looks so down and sad when he looks at me though, I frown at his defeated demeanour.

I absolutely hate seeing him cry, Jungkook has never been one to shy away from his emotions but it has always made me cry whenever I saw him crying.

Cuddling him immediately because I can't bear to see him suffering or sad, I fling my arms around him.

His arms go around me squeezing me tightly and I hear him sniffle again.

"Jungkookie please don't cry! I hate seeing you cry Kookie. Please tell me what's wrong, what's upset you?"

I ask him mumbling into his muscular torso.

"I..I can't Princess...I can't tell you. I don't want to ruin our friendship, I don't want to lose you"

Jungkook sounds so broken as he replies to me, I'm worried that he has betrayed our friendship in some way and is too scared to tell me.

"Kookie, nothing would ever make me stop being your friend. You are my person, my everything and my soulmate. You have been there for me when everyone else betrayed me or hurt me. You know nearly all my secrets and I know yours! The only ones I haven't told you about were for the sake of our friendship. I know our friendship has been strained over the last three years because of Jimin, but you have always been there for me, even when you were mad at me, you still came back to comfort me"

I tell him still hugging him.

"Not ALL my secrets Princess, that's why I can't tell you and what do you mean for the sake of our friendship?"

He finally sighs squeezing me a little tighter, but sounds puzzled when he asks me.

"Oh..Umm I'm not sure whether it's even worth me telling you now as it doesn't really matter because I can't go back in time and change anything"

I mumble into his chest feeling shy and too scared to tell him.

"Baby, just tell me. If it was so long ago then what does it matter?"

I sigh, biting my lip and wondering if I should just tell him.

"I...Please don't leave me if I tell you, I can't take you leaving me too Jungkook, promise me. And technically it started when I was a child but it's not long ago too as it has still not ended. It’s still relevant”

I inhale a big intake of air after he promises that he won't leave me, I finally tell him what I have hid from him for sixteen years.

"I had a huge crush on you all through my childhood and teenage years. But when I was sixteen I realised that I actually loved you after we did that dare and kissed and got off with each other when we were drunk, but you acted like you forgot. I was going to finally tell you later on when I was seventeen after agonising about it but...but you got a girlfriend a few days before I was going to tell you. I was going to surprise you in a cute way but it was too late, so I lied when you finally asked what my surprise was and I told you I had a boyfriend, but I didn't. I...I was also a virgin and hadn't ever been with anyone else or had a boyfriend when I met Jimin when I was nineteen. You were the only person I had kissed or had ever done anything sexual with. I stayed with him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship and every time you got a new girlfriend I would just forgive Jimin because it hurt me too much to be left with my thoughts of you being with another woman. I have always felt guilty about it and felt like I was ruining your real chance at love. So I just stayed with Jimin because you kept losing your chance at love because of me being a fucking screw up and I knew you couldn't possibly love someone who looked like me. All of your girlfriends were so beautiful and looked like models, I knew I stood no chance because I'm small, not pretty and dumpy. I'm not them. I also walked in on you having sex with your girlfriend a few days later when I was seventeen and cried for a whole week. I lied and said I had the flu and didn't come to school for a whole week!!"

I stop and it's totally quiet, he doesn't say anything for a few minutes and neither do I.

I'm just waiting for him to walk out on me and tell me he could never love me like that.

"Oh Princess! I'm so sorry!"

He suddenly starts crying again, but he is not just crying he's sobbing.

"I..Th-That is all my fault!! I..I listened to a friend who told me to get a girlfriend to try to get over liking you! I didn't like her, I just didn't want to fuck up our friendship..and.. and he said I had to get over you. Because you clearly weren't interested like that, especially after you didn't acknowledge our drunken dare I thought you didn't remember either! OR that you wanted to forget it! When you lied and said you had a boyfriend, that you had had sex. I was so hurt and in my anger I slept with...with that g-girl! It was dreadful and I felt awkward doing it with someone I didn't love! WHY? WHY DID YOU LIE?! WHY TORTURE YOURSELF AND STAY WITH JIMIN BECAUSE OF ME!! YOU HURT YOURSELF AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!!"

He gets louder as he starts to sound almost angry with me.

"I lied because it fucking killed me Jungkook and my friend said that I should really try to get over it and realise that you only loved me as a best friend!! I couldn't understand how we always ended up doing things when we were drunk but acted normal when we weren't! I saw you two all over each other on the bed the day before I told you and lied that I had sex, I went to your house and ran out when I caught you! You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been kissing her like that Jungkook! And you never told me you liked me either and after we kissed that time when we were thirteen too, you also acted like it was a mistake!! And what friend?"

I exclaim back as he is not going to just lay this at my front door!

"It was Hoseok! What does it matter now!"

He scoffs at me and I chuckle sarcastically now, he has to be kidding.

This has to be a cruel joke, Hoseok?

"You do know that Hoseok kept asking me out and I refused him loads of times! I even shouted at him one time that I was already in love with someone else. I got so exasperated with his persistence and even though I didn't admit it he guessed it was you and I just walked off without confirming it! He fucking did that because he was mad that I refused him so many times, I hope you know that! And you had so many girlfriends over the years and kept talking about your great sex life in front of me!! Even before I got with Jimin!! SO WHY THE FUCK WOULD I THINK OTHERWISE JUNGKOOK!!"

I yell at him, sounding exasperated, throwing my arms up.

He looks really shocked at what I just said, then his whole expression darkens and he now looks really angry.

"That piece of shit!! If I ever see him again I'm gonna punch him! After you got that boyfriend I tried to act like a normal friend because I thought you didn't like me either! And I only did that the last three years because Jimin would constantly talk about doing sexual things with you every time he spoke to Taehyung in front of me! Or when I would come over even! And I literally hate fucked those women where I was so mad all the time! I never told any of them that I loved them, I always left them when they tried to tell me to stop talking to YOU! Loads of them demanded that I choose them and I NEVER DID ALICE!! I CHOSE YOU!! I never did because...because I.."

Jungkook is exclaiming really loudly at me before his defeated voice drops off getting quieter.

He sighs, running his hand over his face.

"And do you know I haven't slept with Jimin for about six months! I told him to prove he loved me. And every time he cheated again I barely went near him for ages!! So as you could imagine it was a lot of time with no sex! Because of what Jungkook?”

I’m so exasperated with this whole thing and it shows when I talk.

But when I ask him the last question I go dead still waiting for him to answer, it feels like ages before he finally does answers.

"Because...Because I love you Alice, I have loved you since we were kids. But I was scared to lose you and I didn't think you wanted me like that. When I kissed you that day when I was thirteen I felt so happy, but I was also scared that you would think it was a mistake and stop being friends with me. I even panicked that night when you slept over, because you almost caught me having a wet dream about you and I thought you heard me! So I joked off the kiss the next day so I wouldn't get hurt or that you would think I was moaning your name because of that! Then as we got older even though our dare's were getting more sexual you always talked about crushes and wanting to get a boyfriend one day, that you would have one who would be your best friend. But I didn't think you meant me, I thought you were going to get a new best friend and forget about me! And my friendship with you was always special to me!"

He pauses his actual rant running his fingers through his hair then he carries on sighing.

"When you got with Jimin and I had to see you kiss him for the first time I was so upset I ran off and I think Jimin saw me and realised that I loved you. That's why he said all those things! He would also start grabbing you and kissing you on purpose to see my reaction, he even used to look right at me or smirk at me. I thought it was because he knew I hated him for cheating on you, but it was to flaunt it in my fucking face! Do you know how that felt, to watch him treat the woman I loved for so long like that! Did you know that I almost left here for a once of a lifetime internship about two years ago, I couldn't watch you two together anymore. But he cheated with Sharmin just before I was going to leave and you were so upset that I couldn't leave you in that state! So I bailed on them and lost the internship! But he would always goad me saying things like you had just had make up sex and was a little sore and horrible things like that! That the neighbours complained last night because of you screaming!! But now I know it was all fucking lies!"

His hands are moving everywhere as he speaks, he looks so frustrated and angry.

I'm about to reply and he starts ranting at me again, unloading everything.

"I feel like I have been fucking stuck in limbo since I was a teenager! Never being able to move on because I can't love anyone else!! It’s like we were in an emotional relationship! There is no one else I can imagine having kids with or marrying, no one else I could ever imagine living with because in my imagination and dreams it's always you!! They are just never you and they never will be you! It's why I always picked women that I wasn't really that attracted to and that looked the furthest thing from what you looked like! I didn't want to feel like I was using them as a replacement or as a substitute! Because no one could ever replace you in my mind!”

He looks really hurt and is just unloading the mother of all rants on me, the pent up energy is just spilling out of him.

“One girl finished with me because I was moaning your name in my sleep and it clearly wasn't a normal dream!! It's no wonder they were always jealous of you, I have pictures of us in my apartment everywhere. I have your clothes in my apartment, your toothbrush, your deodorant, pyjamas, your favourite food, your favourite films even!! I never called them Baby or Princess, they got no pet names! All of my phone is filled with pictures and videos of us together, my phone screen is of one of us together too! My wallpaper on my computer is even of us together!! I finished with a girl once because she threw a picture of us together as kids against a wall in a fit of jealousy and it smashed and she ruined it too! I have only had angry one night stands for eighteen months because I couldn't go through these bullshit lies about liking these women anymore! I lied about having girlfriends to you too!"

He lets out a huge huff of air where he is literally panting from spilling every last piece of frustration from the last sixteen years.

Jungkook stops his angry rant and looks down at me with a horrible hurt look in his eyes, my heart clenches at his pain because it’s my pain too.

His hand tenderly reaches for my face, placing his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against it.

I tenderly place my hand over his and lean into his touch, closing my eyes.

"How dare he hurt my Alice, MY ALICE! I have wanted to beat his ass so many times over the years!! Please never go back to him! I couldn't bear it, not again. I would leave for good, because I just can't handle watching it anymore Alice, it’s been destroying me. Please give me a chance, I would never treat you like that or cheat on you. I meant every word I said Baby, I love you so much. No one will ever love you as much as I love you, I love you so much that it hurts to be apart from you. I love you so much that I stayed because you are my home and my heart, my everything and I would be hollow without you"

Jungkook tells me with tenderness in his voice.

I open my eyes to finally look up at him, he leans in to give me a firm kiss on my forehead, then each cheek, then finally he leaves a lingering chaste kiss on my lips.

When he pulls away his face is still right by mine, my eyes scan his face and he is so beautiful, his dark doe eyes look more hopeful because I didn't stop him from kissing me.

I place my hand in his hair pulling his head back to mine pressing his lips against mine and as soon as his lips part I kiss him with a fervent passion my tongue caressing his, because I'm so hungry for this kiss, I'm finally able to kiss them like I have imagined so many times over the years.

He picks me up so fast making me straddle him, his lips still furiously kissing mine as he groans into my mouth.

Jungkook walks over to the sofa sitting down with me pulling me against his body, his hand moves to my waist and the other winds its fingers into my hair keeping me against his enthusiastic mouth making me whimper into the kiss.

When we pull away he keeps his lips ghosting over mine as we pant from the lack of breath.

"I love you so fucking much Jungkook! I always have and I always will, forevermore. I have never loved anyone else but you, it’s always been you. It could never be anyone but you”

I pant as my hot breath falls against his lips.

"My Princess, my Baby, I love you with every single part of my soul. My Alice. My beautiful girl, my best friend, you have never been anyone else’s but mine”

He replies, squeezing me tighter.

========================================

After our big argument we decided to take it slow but we are finally together, we laugh now about how stupid we both were as teenagers.

But we have been having really long deep conversations all the time to get through the hurt we have put each other through.

We both thought it was wise to heal first and not to jump headfirst into a sexual thing yet.

I have some really happy parents right now who told us it was about time we both realised that we loved each other, that it was so obvious to everyone but us.

They are all happy that Jimin is now a thing of the past, that I finally broke it off with him.

They were terrified that I would get pregnant and have him stuck in my life for good.

It's been six weeks since I split from Jimin and he still keeps trying to call me and message me on social media.

I blocked him a few times and he keeps getting new accounts, Jungkook finally texted him and told him to back the hell off.

He wasn't happy with Jungkook and told him to mind his own business.

Every time we see him we walk off in the opposite direction before he can see us.

We have been still taking it slow and I've been back at college for two weeks now, no one has noticed that we’re a couple where we were so close before anyway.

We are liking it that way for now, so there is no pressure from anyone.

People just thought he was being extra cautious and protective with me, so they didn't say anything when he held my hand or fed me food in the cafeteria.

Well they did think that, until Jimin just tried to approach me again today in the cafeteria and Jungkook told him to get away from me.

I can see everyone already whispering and I can see his baby momma watching us with a hurt look on her face, I notice her belly looking bigger than before and her friend is definitely looking pissed.

"What fucking business is it of yours Jungkook! Let me speak to Alice and stop being the pathetic unrequited love disguised as a best friend!!"

Jimin sneers at him loudly before looking back at me, I hear an 'oh shit!' from Taehyung who knows Jungkook is probably going to punch him.

I'm about to stand up to tell him to get lost and to not speak to my boyfriend like that but Jungkook beats me to it.

"Best friend?! You are a little behind on the news Jimin. Ha ha ha!! What you say to MY GIRLFRIEND, very much affects me!"

He replies loudly standing up in his seat pushing his tray away, we hear gasps from people.

"ABOUT TIME!! IT WAS OBVIOUS!!"

Someone yells out, I dart my face to the sound source but I don't see who it is.

"YOU AND HER!! Oh you finally wormed your way in there and took advantage of my little mess! I always knew you wanted to take Alice from me. Do you think I didn't see all your love sick looks and those times you would walk off when I was kissing her! She is definitely on the rebound, how does it feel to be the rebound, poor Jungkookie! How did it feel to watch the girl you loved be kissed by me and to have to listen to her getting fucked by me!!"

He mocks him, sounding really angry and Jungkook jerks towards him where he is about to grab him but Jungkook pauses his head darting to me when I slam my drink down making a mess.

I’m just about ready to upload all of my frustration, anger and trauma on him, I’m ready.

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP JIMIN!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS THE STAND IN, THE FUCKING REPLACEMENT! WHERE I COULDN'T HAVE WHO I REALLY LOVED!! YOU COULDN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO JUNGKOOK! HE AND I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN IN AN EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP FOR SIXTEEN YEARS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!! BUT WE WERE TOO STUPID TO ADMIT WE HAVE LOVED EACH OTHER SINCE WE WERE CHILDREN!! HE WAS WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I DREAMED, WHO I THOUGHT ABOUT WHENEVER I DID HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHICH WAS RARELY DUE TO YOU CHEATING SO MUCH! WHO I DREAMED ABOUT MARRYING!! DON'T YOU REALISE THAT I HAVE NEVER SAID I LOVED YOU TO YOU, NOT ONCE! DID YOU NEVER NOTICE THAT I ONLY EVER REPLIED ME TOO! NOT THAT YOU HAVE EVER LOVED ME ANYWAY! BUT I ALWAYS TOLD JUNGKOOK THAT I LOVED HIM! AND EVEN IF HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS IN A ROMANTIC WAY, IT WAS!! HE IS A THOUSAND TIMES THE MAN YOU ARE!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW I LOVED ANOTHER MAN THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH YOU!”

I’m shouting so loud that I’m surprised the college security hasn’t come yet.

I hear someone suddenly yell out.

"YES SAVAGE!! Tell him Alice! He damn well deserves it!! He is the ultimate piece of shit!!"

I look and see that it's my old friend Yoongi who grins at me, he hates Jimin and punched him really hard once.

Jungkook is smiling at me, I can tell that he is really proud of me.

"HOW MUCH OF A BASTARD ARE YOU THAT YOUR BABY MOMMA FIANCÉE IS OVER THERE, AND YOU ARE TRYING TO GET ME BACK!! WHY?? JUST SO YOU CAN TELL ME HOW FUCKING FAT I AM OR HOW I AM SOOOO DAMN LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU?? WHY?? SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AND CHEAT!! OR WAS IT JUST SO YOU COULD RUB IT IN JUNGKOOK'S FACE?! YOU KNEW HE LOVED ME AND THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY LEAVING! SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH YOU TEARING ME DOWN AND MAKING ME LOSE WHO I WAS!! YOU MADE ME LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF YOUR CHEATING! SLEPT WITH MY FRIENDS!! AND STILL TRIED TO TAKE THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT BY TRYING TO PUSH HIM TO LEAVE TOO!!"

I shout so loud that everyone is most definitely listening.

"Tell him Baby! Unload it all!"

Jungkook mischievously grins at me.

"I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE!! YOUR SEX WASN'T SHIT COMPARED TO JUNGKOOK'S AND YOU DON'T EVEN COMPARE IN SIZE! HA HA!! YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET ME OFF SO I HAD TO THINK ABOUT JUNGKOOK EVERY TIME! I WAS ONLY WITH YOU TO TRY TO FORGET ABOUT JUNGKOOK! SO FUCK OFF AND DON'T TALK TO ME AGAIN! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND I FEEL SORRY FOR CANDICE HAVING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR TOXIC CRAP FOREVER!! I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION AND WOULDN'T CARE IF I EVER SAW YOU AGAIN! I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE ON YOU AND I CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK! WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER THREE SECONDS MORE LISTENING TO YOUR RIDICULOUS RUBBISH! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I LET MY BOYFRIEND BEAT YOUR ASS LIKE HE HAS BEEN DYING TO DO FOR THREE YEARS!!"

I sneer at him panting from my insane rant and I move to Jungkook who looks really proud of me for standing up for myself against Jimin finally and for what I just said.

He smirks and kisses me like he misses me and I don't care, I let him.

"WOO HOO!! THAT IS THE ALICE I MISSED!"

My friend Yoongi shouts out and Namjoon hollers out too whooping, I lost both of them due to Jimin.

My old friend Denise even whistles at us because she found out exactly what Jimin was like first hand too.

Taehyung even shouts out loudly.

"ABOUT DAMN TIME JUNGKOOK! I WAS LOSING HOPE THAT ALIKOOK WAS EVER GONNA BE A REALITY!"

Jimin scoffs at us and finally marches away, my whole body goes pliant in Jungkook’s arms as I relax finally.

"I'm so fucking proud of you my Princess! My sex is much better huh, how do you know Baby? Or is that the sex you had in your dreams or imagination when you needed to get off? Hmm I like thinking that you were imagining me and I might have been imagining you at the same time. Now if he ever tries to get under my skin by saying something I can say that it was me who used to make you scream!”

He groans in my ear, oh he likes that I thought about him every time or had to use him to get off.

We haven't had sex yet, just a little light foreplay until we both feel ready, as we are both still healing from years of suffering and trauma we put ourselves through.

"I know. But I couldn't have him mock you Kookie. I was about to punch him and I had to give him the cold hard truth. The way he talked to you was vile, I wasn’t having it, not anymore. That was the only part I lied about though, Kookie. As your dick is almost twice the size of his! THAT I didn't lie about!"

I giggle when he pecks all over my face.

"You two! Is this what I'm going to have to put up with every time I'm at Kook's now?!"

Taehyung shouts out groaning and I look to see everyone staring at our PDA, we cough and he pulls me to his lap and we sit down chuckling as we eat our dinner in peace.

Yoongi congratulates us as he walks to class with us and Namjoon said that he's proud of whoever went for it and confessed.

He was shocked when I put my hand up saying it was me, but he says he's damn proud patting my head.

Tells me that I’m glowing and look so much happier now, that he’s so happy for us.

Yoongi tells me that he is so glad that I’m finally free from that nightmare and Candice actually did me a favour.

Denise messaged me on Instagram telling me that she was sorry about what happened between us and that she is actually glad that I'm finally away from Jimin.

That he is one manipulative, toxic man.

That she was happy that I finally got with Jungkook after all those years of pining, she of course knew because I told her in high school.

She said it was so obvious over the years that we still loved each other.

I feel so damn amazing, I have had friends talk to me again for the first time in a year and I just told Jimin where to go.

AND I finally told him the cold hard truth!

Truths I couldn't admit to even myself before and now I'm brave enough to scream them at Jimin in the cafeteria in front of everyone.

I've finally broken the chain of toxicity and distrust, I'm utterly free.

And when I look up at Jungkook I couldn't be happier, I'm finally where I was supposed to be all along, with my heart, my soulmate, my person, my Jungkook, my love, my everything.

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©️ Bangtans Momma.

Please do not translate, copy, steal or repost my stories as your own, or any part of my story as your own either.

Do not feed any part of my stories into any AI software either.

Sharing the link or re-blogging is perfectly fine of course.

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🫠 what in the hell Calvin Klein?!

JUNGKOOK in CALVIN KLEIN for @heybaetae ♡

SAVAGE LOVE DRABBLE

I Dare You To Kiss Me. . .

============================

Pairing: Jungkook x OC

Word Count: 1.7k words

Age Rating/ trigger warnings:

Not mature, only kissing pecks, light swearing (shit, badass), their first kiss, Daring each other to do things, slight angst in the last few sentences. Very brief mention of weed smoking and drinking, messing around, losing virginity later on in life. Nothing descriptive (small mention) Characters are 13 at this point.

Authors note:

Part of Jungkook and Alice’s Backstory.

This can be read as a stand alone but if you want to know more about their relationship read Savage love.

Click this savage love link just below.

Savage Love

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I Dare You To Kiss Me. . .

I giggle childishly as I grab onto Kookies hand letting him pull me out of the rarely used music department backdoor that leads out onto the sports area, by the tennis and basketball courts.

No one is using this area today either, pretty sure they are all at the track field.

He chuckles with a mischievous grin on his face when he sees my matching expression of anarchy.

Jungkook dared me to ditch school with him and me being a crazy girl who can’t back down, I agreed.

As soon as we get to the broken part in the chain link fence by the basketball courts, he holds it open for me as I chuck our backpacks through first, then scramble through in excitement.

An uncontrollable moment of very mischievous laughter bursts out of me as I watch Kookie escape through the gap too.

He grabs my hand laughing and literally drags me off towards his house, his parents aren’t ever home because they both work until late.

But Jungkook just happens to have keys to get into his house because he comes to mine for a few hours after school. But he always leaves to go to his house at around six pm, knowing his parents will be home soon.

We were so nervous that we would get caught by someone who knew our parents that we ran all the way to his home filled with nervous laughter.

As soon as we get inside and he closes the front door, we both descend into crazy laughter immediately.

“Let’s go upstairs to my room Princess”

Jungkook smiles at me, pulling me with him by grabbing my hand.

He excitedly tells me about his new game, rambling about how good it is.

I giggle at him as he animatedly puts his console on and starts the game, handing me a controller with a huge bunny grin.

He always looks so pretty when he smiles at me like that, I can’t help but stare at him.

Blushing, I take the controller from him and look at the screen waiting for him to show me the ropes of a new game.

I can feel him still looking at me but I pretend to not notice until it’s obvious and I have to look at him.

As soon as I glance up I’m thrown by the look on his face, he coughs nervously looking flustered and clicks a button on his controller.

“So first you pick your character and I will pick next, I will show you what their strengths and weaknesses are, okay Alice?”

He tells me, sounding more confident.

“Okay Kookie, show me!”

I giggle while waiting for him to Instruct me like he always does.

“Okay click your X button and go to that icon there Princess”

He points to a small icon and I go to it by clicking on it.

“Good Baby, umm click that one and then we can go through the characters!”

Jungkook grins at me pointing to the screen.

After a while I’ve picked a female character and she looks badass, of course Jungkook teases me for always picking a female character but I don’t care.

But he agrees that she’s a strong player and her stats are pretty evened out and fair, then Kookie adds that her weapons and the upgrades for her are pretty good.

As soon as we start playing we start teasing each other and laughing at each other when the other one gets killed or does something stupid.

Jungkook gets irritated when I say that he turns psycho when he’s competing against another person in a pvp, that he just can’t stand to lose. He exclaims loudly that he’s not that bad.

I chuckle telling him that he gets so angry and mad when he does lose, that he ends up almost destroying the controllers. He scoffs at me replying he wouldn’t care if he loses and he’s not that competitive, I can’t help but prove him wrong.

“Okay it’s my turn to issue a dare, so I dare you to just let that player win and stop fighting right now!”

I fold my arms looking at him in triumph, as he looks conflicted, biting his lip because he doesn’t want to prove me right. But he also doesn’t want to lose.

“What?! You want me to just lose on purpose like some pathetic loser? Don’t do me like that Princess! I will not lose!”

He exclaims looking scandalised that I would dare to suggest that he should lose on purpose.

“So you are gonna prove me right and have to do the next dare I choose no matter what”

I smugly tell him knowing he will hate losing the bet too.

“Shit! Damn it, Princess!”

Kookie drops his controller with a pained look on his face as he watches himself get killed with an irritated off look on his face.

“I HATED doing that! Such a bad girl to me Princess! I dare you to go get some powdered wasabi from the cupboard put some on your palm and lick a little bit from your hand”

He smirks at me and I give him a death look, he knows I detest wasabi, but if I refuse then he will pick another dare and I have to do it without question.

“Kookie! You know I absolutely hate wasabi!”

I yell at him with a pout on my lips.

“Princess, don't be angry at me, you know I hate losing too. So it’s only fair I pick something you hate”

Jungkook sighs with a shrug, he’s right of course.

“Pft I hate you! But I will do it!”

I huff at Kookie with a look of betrayal. Jungkook chuckles, leaning in to place a kiss on my hair.

“No you don’t Alice! You love me, just like I love you!”

My heart beats faster but I know he only means as friends, I can’t help wishing that he loved me in a different way.

Jungkook giggles at me as I march off to get wasabi and grab a drink for after.

When I come back he’s grinning at me as I whine at him, a huge pout on my lips.

“Please don’t make me Kookie! I’m sorry! I hate wasabi!”

I try to persuade him and probably look like I’m having a tantrum whilst I’m at it, but he chuckles, shaking his head.

“Nope Baby! Unless you totally refuse and I give you a dare you have to do”

He smirks at me with his head tilted.

“I’m not doing it!!”

I exclaim putting the wasabi down and hoping that he goes easy on me. His doe eyes widened because It’s very rare that I back down.

“Okay so. . I can pick another dare”

Jungkook’s voice drops sounding slightly raspy making me frown, but I don’t care so I nod frantically because I’d rather do anything than taste wasabi.

“I dare you to let me kiss you. . on the lips”

He breathes out sounding nervous, slowly getting nearer to me as I nod, biting my lip.

I’ve wanted to kiss Kookie on the lips for ages, so of course I agree.

“Yeah? Are you sure?”

He asks me with a soft tone as he gets really close to me, wiping his palms on his trousers.

“I’m sure Kookie”

I mutter shyly as he places his hand on my cheek looking down at me with sparkles in his eyes.

“So pretty, Princess”

He breathes out and leans forward gently pressing his lips against mine making me actually melt when his hand caresses my cheek.

I press my lips back onto his, reciprocating the kiss, making him start to leave chaste kisses on and around my lips, before removing his lips with a shy smile on his face.

“Thank you for trusting me, Alice”

Jungkook smiles and brushes his thumb across my cheek before backing off.

I glance at the clock feeling flustered by our kiss and how he stares at me, but I notice the time and my eyes widen.

“Shit!! It’s almost time for my mother to come pick us up!! She’s taking us to yours as I’m sleeping over remember! We have to get back to the school gates Jungkook!”

I exclaim panicking and his eyes widen too, making him jump up.

“Oh damn! Let’s go princess! We can use the way we left to get back on school grounds! But we better be quick, we have twenty minutes to get back there!”

Kookie exclaims, looking panicked as he grabs our bags making me follow him.

He locks the front door, giving me my bag, then he grabs my hand pulling me back to school.

As soon as we get back into school with no issues or problems we burst into laughter because of how panicked we both were.

Of course our parents never found out about this time, they didn’t find out about us ditching until we were both sixteen.

For some reason our first kiss with each other was never mentioned again after it was awkwardly joked off by Kookie the next day.

I was disappointed but I didn’t want to make a big thing about it and make him think I was childish or clingy.

Not that we didn’t do more dares later on in our teens, but that’s another story.

This is the first time we escaped from school together, it would soon become a running theme.

From age thirteen to almost seventeen we would ditch school regularly, always leaving after the role call just after lunch and going to Kookie’s to laze around and play video games in his room.

We got more and more rebellious as we both got older though.

Both of us smoked weed, drank, played truth or dare or just got wasted and messed around, only to act like we didn’t remember the day after.

We would dare each other to do crazy things, neither of us backing down even when it got insane, both too competitive and stubborn to quit.

We were a lot of firsts to each other apart from the one that really counted, because we both lost our virginities to people we didn’t love.

We truly were each other's soulmates, the ultimate best friends, destined to be together forever, until he ruined it and got a new girlfriend.

It was always us against the world together. . . Until it wasn’t.

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©️ Bangtans Momma.

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